class gift exchange - slight vent

[dimimi]

I can't believe your school is doing a Christmas gift echange.But, I would send an email to the teacher. The only way to correct the situation is for her to tell ALL the kids what the price range should be.

 

[DCLbrideSept2009]

You can usually count on 5-10 dollars as the range, unless you live in NYC etc... I never worry about what DD gets, I could care less if it is the same value as what she sent. I understand you are upset about the late notice, but gift exchanges are pretty common. I always had one every year in grade school and DD has had one from preschool on every year, so I even if the notice was late, it is too common practice to be shocked about it. Also... The principal may have mandated it if all the other classes in her grade level was doing it and that is why you got a late notice. Our principle does stuff like that all the time.

My kids range from 3rd grade to 11th grade and with the possible exception of a book exchange in preschool (Christian preschool), they have NEVER had a gift exchange. So I would be shocked to get such a request, especially at such late notice. They can't even have Christmas parties (only "holiday" parties).

 

[fakereadhed]

What's the lesson behind the gift exchange? Just don't see the point. If it's giving, they should make crafts in class and exchange them, or have the kids do a good deed for each other. I think gift exchanges are a terrible idea! Also plays into the idea that Christmas is about getting gifts from others. Boo to that.

 

[Green Tea]

I would have her pick a $5 ish paperback book.

 

[Mkaz]

My son's class is doing a gift exchange with a twist. They have to make the gift. I love the idea! My son made a duct tape wallet for the student he picked. He said he really likes hunting so we bought some camouflage duct tape for it. It turned out pretty cute.

 

[GinnyEmma]

My son's class is doing a gift exchange with a twist. They have to make the gift. I love the idea! My son made a duct tape wallet for the student he picked. He said he really likes hunting so we bought some camouflage duct tape for it. It turned out pretty cute.

My kids made these one year. They were a big hit.

 

[eroilersgal]

My son's 4th grade class is exchanging books this year. The twist is that the book needs to be a gently used book they have read. I believe they are getting the kids together to chat about the books to encourage reading at least one book over Christmas break. My son was excited to share one of his favorites (he has a plan with two best friends to get each others books ).

 

[Kate and Pete]

Their day care is doing a Yankee swap. I think it is going to be a miserable failure!

At a day care? Are they insane??! Wow - that's quite the "sharing" lesson!!

Be glad you don't have to be there!!!

 

[GinnyEmma]

What's the lesson behind the gift exchange? Just don't see the point. If it's giving, they should make crafts in class and exchange them, or have the kids do a good deed for each other. I think gift exchanges are a terrible idea! Also plays into the idea that Christmas is about getting gifts from others. Boo to that.

So giving a gift is only good enough if you make it? My kids enjoy giving all kinds of gifts to each other and friends.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Late notices stink! DD9 has an exchange and we were told 5.00, but still not everyone spends that. I went to Five Below and got a Smithsonian make your own slime kit. It cost me $5, but I am sure it goes for more elsewhere. I just hope DS gets something he likes.

 

[TLuvsD]

D is in high school, she never did a gift exchange as part of a class...we did it as Girl Scouts, with a $5 limit, but never in school. She and her friends exchange small treat items the last day or so....Snowman Soup was a big hit this year. We did about 18 bags for about $8.

 

[sunshine1178]

My kindergartner had his gift exchange today. We were told to send a wrapped book, about $5 in value. Plenty of notice and clear instructions. Still, my son got the Night Before Christmas, which we had, and the boy who got the book we sent (level one reader superheroes) had it already. Unfortunately, it's never going to work that everyone is happy. And one of his classmates brought a goody bag for everyone -- I hope she's not too sad that she gave out 19 presents and didn't get one in return. We'll have to write her a nice thank you note.

 

[CTdiznymom]

For all that have said that it doesn't matter if your child gets a comparable gift and that it's a good teaching moment I have to tell you that my DD just told me that she clearly remembers how awful she felt when everyone was opening their "cool" gifts in 3rd grade, and she opened a pair of HOSPITAL FOOTIE SOCKS! All the kids made fun of her, and she did her best not to cry in class. I can still remember that day as the teasing continued on the bus and she was bawling when she came in the door. So even after 20 years, it left a mark. School gift exchanges in my opinion are not a good idea at all. Someone is bound to be hurt, and it's not the time for a "teaching moment".

 

[C.Ann]

I wouldn't worry about the value either, that doesn't teach your daughter the thought behind buying gifts...hoping to receive something of equal value in return...I would simply send in a gift.

I do agree with you on the last min notice...

But as far as value who cares... its the thought that counts the effort and the fun for the kids not what they bring or bring home... you may send a $10 gift and it could go to a child in the class that may not get anything else for Christmas... think about the love and joy that child would have for that small gift......

(Underlining in above post mine..)

Also a good time to impress upon your children that no matter what they receive in return, the polite thing to do is to accept it graciously and with a big smile.. Your child may be the one that is receiving something from a family that had no money for extras at all and just found something, anything, they could wrap and send in.. I know it's hard to believe there are families who are in such dire straights, but there's even more this year than there ever have been in past years..

 

[MSSANDRA]

A couple different gift exchanges we have taken part in over the years:

Each child was asked to bring in 3.00 if they could. Many parents sent in extra in case another child did not. Grade mom purchased & wrapeed like gifts for everyone. There was more than enough money for 3.00 plus candy canes on top!

Each child was invited to bring in one treat bag item (enough for everyone in the class) a week or so before the party. Suggestions were a small candy cane,small piece of candy, stickers etc. Everything was given to teacher without record of who brought what or if they brought anything. Teacher secured (may have bought herself) canvas tote bags and the kids decorated them in class. Grade moms filled the bags with all the goodies! They were stuffed and all were the same. Some kids brought in nothing, many a bag of some kind of candy, others $ store toys, but everyone got a like bag and were trilled with all the stuff and no one felt bad about what the cound or could not bring in or get.

 

[TheRustyScupper]

1) Send her with a $1 lump of coal and a rock.
2) Put in instructions to put the coal under the rock.
3) In 20,000 years, it is a $1,500 diamond.
4) A nicely expensive Christmas present.

 

[hffmnheidi]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

 

[DisneyShannon]

I do not have children, but many other places that I have worked has had this gift exchange. One year at my current job they forgot to put my name in the draw and I bought a nice gift for the name I had drawn and I felt and looked stupid sitting there without a gift. One year at one of my jobs many many, many, years ago I got a single tealight candle. I swear off these things and do not do the gift swap or christmas party things.

 

[mnrose]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

That is so sad. :-(

At our kids' school, the kids opted out of doing any sort of exchange with one another. Instead, they are collecting food and toys for our county human services agency. It's not mandatory to give, of course, and financially strapped parents don't have to feel obligated to buy anything. But, I am very proud that the kids used this chance to look outward to others. It's a far better solution, IMO, and allows children to understand the true meaning of the season.

 

[tasha99]

I use these situations as teaching moments. We are really blessed to be able to pick out a more expensive gift. Not everyone can.

I wish teachers would recognize this. My son's school had almost $25 in gift demands this season--about $10 worth of items for homeless hospitality, and another $15 for Secret Santa. It was a real burden to us, and $25 was what I had budgeted for my own kids' Christmas gifts. They won't be hurting for gifts since my boyfriend and their grandparents are also buying presents, but for me the $25 was wayyy more than I would have chosen to give on this particular Christmas. I didn't do an Angel Tree, either, for the first time in many years. With the economy the way it is, I was just flabbergasted that they didn't even ask but rather assigned charitable and classroom gifts. I actually sat down and cried when I first read the email of what was expected, because to not give after that would have made my son stand out.).