Chivalry please-a vent

[daisyduck123]

Ding Ding Ding!! You win! Its up to the parent to make sure there child is safe. Holding a child in your arms on a packed bus is probably not safe and you shouldn't expect a bus full of strangers to give up their seat. Your concern should be for your child and thus you should wait for the next bus so you can sit SAFELY with your child. Whats happening is that the parent is just as tired as everyone else and is being selfish by not wanting to wait for another bus, yet then they get on the bus and think people are rude and "selfish" for not giving up their seat.

Exactly! You got it.
But there are people who don't want to see that the responsibility lies with themselves & will continue to blame the "selfish" people on the bus for the predicament they have put themselves in.

 

[dr&momto2boys]

My heart goes out to the OP. Anyone who has ever had three children under five knows how difficult it is to get around. In some cases, the 4 yr olds may even have been scared being so far away from their mom. Not to mention the safety of the 2 yr old. I don't know how any adult (unless they have a disability) can justify their own needs over that of small children.

I'm glad to report that in all of my trips to WDW while pregnant or traveling with small children. I never once had an experience like that. And I never expected someone to give up their seat, but I was very grateful when they did!

 

[kadesha]

Ding Ding Ding!! You win! Its up to the parent to make sure there child is safe. Holding a child in your arms on a packed bus is probably not safe and you shouldn't expect a bus full of strangers to give up their seat. Your concern should be for your child and thus you should wait for the next bus so you can sit SAFELY with your child. Whats happening is that the parent is just as tired as everyone else and is being selfish by not wanting to wait for another bus, yet then they get on the bus and think people are rude and "selfish" for not giving up their seat.

That's a great point and I do agree with it. Everyone is selfish in their own way. It's THEIR vacation and they want everything to go THEIR way. This whole situation is like a hotel upgrade, don't expect but it'll be nice if you get it.

I didn't expect it with my kids but it sure was nice. That's why I'm more than happy to return the favor now that I can. I'm sure that I would anyway though, even without the experience. I just couldn't imagine sitting there doing nothing when someone else so obviously needs a seat.

 

[goofy4tink]

iI love the buses and everything but the only thing I don't like is that people on ECV get on first before people that have been waiting for who knows how long and it is even worse when there whole entire group gets on and some times it is like 10 people with them. Nothing against people who use EVC but it would be better if the got in line like the rest of us.

Why not load the ECVs from the main que??? Because they have to be loaded first in order to tie them down, in the proper place. If you were to load them, at any other time, you would have to have people move off those seats, find other seats..no, it just doesn't work. It takes about 8 mins to get an ECV loaded, then other guests can board...not such a huge chunk of time out of your day.

Just back from our awesome trip.....with one complaint. On our resort bus one evening it was standing room only-one person put their kid on their lap to allow my 4yo twins to sit but I was "pushed" past them and onto the upper level with my 2yo to stand for the bus ride holding her. There were several men and teenagers who could have let us sit-you know how those disney bus drivers are-almost fell several times holding her.(it was way to crowded to let her stand). I know everyone is tired at the end of the day but how would they have felt if i had fallen with her. We only had this problem one time luckily-thank you to all those who give up their seat for children!!

I know how you feel about being pushed back, away from the other kids. That's happened to me as well. I would have stood my ground though. I would have turned to the side and said..'Please go by me..I need to stay with my children. Thanks.'
Should you have waited for another bus? Up to you. I would have taken the seat, with the 2 y/o, and had the twins stand next to me/in front of me.
We just can't count on others to be accomodating. And nothing is ever going to be decided on a board like this one. This 'discussion' has cropped up many, many times...with exactly the same results!!! People get defensive on both sides.

 

[OandA]

Your right - this is a service that Disney needs to fix.
People may stand on city buses all the time - but never with the volume to strollers - kids - wheelchairs - all after 10+ hours in a park. Regardless if other cities/places allow it - it's not safe.

The #1 concern here on both sides of the argument is that its just not safe to stand and/or stand and hold a baby. So if its not safe, why allow it?

Well there a lot of unsafe things that are allowed. Smoking is a big one.

Although if people don't want to have a jam packed bus, perhaps they leave the park before it closes or go in a little after opening. It's like city buses at rush hour. They're packed tight. Ride at 2pm and you'll be fine.

 

[maxiesmom]

My heart goes out to the OP. Anyone who has ever had three children under five knows how difficult it is to get around. In some cases, the 4 yr olds may even have been scared being so far away from their mom. Not to mention the safety of the 2 yr old. I don't know how any adult (unless they have a disability) can justify their own needs over that of small children.

But isn't that the parent's responsibility? Wouldn't it be better if the parent hadn't put the kids into that position to begin with? Why are we blaming total strangers for not seeing to a child's safety when their own parent didn't?

 

[Cinderella94]

Why are we blaming total strangers for not seeing to a child's safety when their own parent didn't?

Excellent point.

 

[nurse.darcy]

Okay, so if you arrive at the bus line at a similar time as me and we are getting on the bus and I just happen to be ahead of you, yes I will give up my seat. HOWEVER, if you are running to catch an already packed bus and get on with your kids and a stroller, don't expect me to get up as we have already adjusted to those who were waiting in line when we got there. If you can already see the bus is standing room only, DON'T GET ON IF YOU HAVE TO CARRY A KID. nuff said. Standing on the non-moving concrete is a lot easier than standing on a moving bus. . .if I arrive at a bus stop and the bus is already packed I make the choice to stand when I get on. I don't expect ANYONE to adjust for me. There is always another bus.

 

[eliza61]

Exactly! You got it.
But there are people who don't want to see that the responsibility lies with themselves & will continue to blame the "selfish" people on the bus for the predicament they have put themselves in.

Thank you.

I'm a mom of 3. Would it be nice if people helped me with my stroller Yes. Are they selfish because they chose not to. Nope, not at all. When I'm loaded down with bags at the mall, would it be nice for folks to hold the door absolutely, do I cry about it. Nope, I squeeze the bags into one hand and open the door for myself or I make a trip to the car and off load. More than teaching my kids manners, I teach them to be responsible and self sufficient (sp?).

I'm out.

 

[catne]

My opinion is that if you absolutely want to have a seat, wait for the next bus. You can ask the driver before climbing the steps if it's standing room only. If you or your kids can't handle extra waiting time, rent a car & drive yourselves. If you don't want to spend the extra $$, then arrange your schedule so that you are coming & going at off-peak hours.

Besides people having hidden medical conditions, a fair number of those sitting down may have already waited an extra circuit or two to get a bus with empty seats...we saw that happen before when we passed on a standing room only bus. Other groups would join us off to the side to wait for a seat too. Then after we wait an extra 20-30 minutes for the next bus to get a seat you think we should give you our seats? I don't think so.

Your children's safety is up to you, not strangers. Sure you're tired & they're tired, but again who put them in that position? Not the strangers - you did - you kept them in the parks until that point. Take responsibility for your own self & your own children.

 

[pirateandprincesses]

The OP stated she was just joking about having somebody hold her kid. I think the issue was that she was pushed back away from her twin four year olds, she was holding a toddler and therefore felt like maybe it wasn't all that safe. I can't imagine anyone here who has children who would think that was an optimal situation. I guess there are things she could have done in hindsight, like yell at people to stop shoving her, gotten off the bus etc, but she didn't because I am sure that bus was packed and it was happening fast.

I am sort of sad to see this one doing what these threads always do. Turning into an attack of the OP and making her sound like she has a me complex and can't understand anybody else's needs but her own. I don't get from her that she is a person who expects Ashley Wilkes to gallantly give her a seat on every bus she rides for the rest of her life. I have stood on a bus when I was holding a small child and its not all that fun. Have any of you who are quick to attack this woman ever tried to do that? Next time that bus sways, imagine you can't hold on because you are holding a heavy child. A two year old is dead weight. Some of you may not realize how you would feel if this were you because you havne't been in that situation yet.

There is no doubt many people have hidden disabilities and that people should never expect anything. Sure everyone on that bus was tired, some people probably were zoned out and exhausted and didn't even notice. But in the end, I just can't imagine that one person couldn't have given up a seat for a woman or man holding a child.

I see both sides to the issue but honestly some of you are really ready to jump on her when I bet you would have felt the same way had you been the one in her place.

Well said thank you!! I could not have gotten off that bus if I tried without leaving my other children behind. If you have to justify why you wouldn't give up your seat to someone than you really ought to look at yourself. I was not being selfish or having a me moment, nor am I a irresponsible parent. In fact I didn't say anything to anyone on that bus when I entered, my concern is the lack of chivalry and empathy by them and by a lot of you. Maybe these are the same people who would stand by and watch a car accident. Very sad.

 

[OandA]

Well said thank you!! I could not have gotten off that bus if I tried without leaving my other children behind. If you have to justify why you wouldn't give up your seat to someone than you really ought to look at yourself. I was not being selfish or having a me moment, nor am I a irresponsible parent. In fact I didn't say anything to anyone on that bus when I entered, my concern is the lack of chivalry and empathy by them and by a lot of you. Maybe these are the same people who would stand by and watch a car accident. Very sad.

How dare you say what we are or assume what you think we would do? Who do you think you are? The sign of a person who knows they were wrong is when they start to throw personal insults.

Out of curiosity I have a question. If your children are so defenseless and need seats or to be together, wouldn't you ask the bus driver if you could be accommodated before getting on the bus? Did you look at the long line behind you and think "maybe this could get tight, i better keep us all together"? No you did not. Stop blaming others when you did nothing you should have done.

 

[maxiesmom]

Well said thank you!! I could not have gotten off that bus if I tried without leaving my other children behind. If you have to justify why you wouldn't give up your seat to someone than you really ought to look at yourself. I was not being selfish or having a me moment, nor am I a irresponsible parent. In fact I didn't say anything to anyone on that bus when I entered, my concern is the lack of chivalry and empathy by them and by a lot of you. Maybe these are the same people who would stand by and watch a car accident. Very sad.

I don't feel anyone needs to justify why they don't give up their seats for other people. There is no law that they have to.

People can come here and complain about what they think is the lack of manners, but it doesn't really help, does it? The only way to actually solve the problem of not feeling safe on a bus with your child is to see to it that you are never in that position to begin with. If you don't feel safe holding a child on a bus, then don't get on the bus. Simple. Take responsibility for your own family and stop trying to put that responsibility on others.

 

[pirateandprincesses]

Thank you both for proving my point.

 

[ksjayhawkfan]

Well said thank you!! I could not have gotten off that bus if I tried without leaving my other children behind. If you have to justify why you wouldn't give up your seat to someone than you really ought to look at yourself. I was not being selfish or having a me moment, nor am I a irresponsible parent. In fact I didn't say anything to anyone on that bus when I entered, my concern is the lack of chivalry and empathy by them and by a lot of you. Maybe these are the same people who would stand by and watch a car accident. Very sad.

Um no. I dont need to look at myself. I have 4 kids. I would NEVER get on a bus where my kids would have to stand, nor would I expect anyone to get up. I do NOT consider them rude, selfish, not empathetic, (go on and list every other thing thats been said here) My number one priority is MY kids. No justification about it. Take a look at the decision YOU made for YOUR kids and YOURSELF.

You dont want to be judged but yet you have no issue what so ever judging others that you have no idea who they are or the reasons behind their decisions.

 

[OandA]

Thank you both for proving my point.

I hope the point was that irresponsible parenting is not the responsibility of others.

 

[Cinderella94]

Um no. I dont need to look at myself. I have 4 kids. I would NEVER get on a bus where my kids would have to stand, nor would I expect anyone to get up. I do NOT consider them rude, selfish, not empathetic, (go on and list every other thing thats been said here) My number one priority is MY kids. No justification about it. Take a look at the decision YOU made for YOUR kids and YOURSELF.

You dont want to be judged but yet you have no issue what so ever judging others that you have no idea who they are or the reasons behind their decisions.

 

[maxiesmom]

Thank you both for proving my point.

What point was proved? That some people can't be bothered to see to their own family's safety and think that strangers should do it instead?

That it is easier to blame strangers for a mistake than to admit you made one?

 

[ajk912]

Have to stick my 2 cents in here, will not be a popular response though. I don't drive therefore I rely on public transportation on a daily basis. I agree that seats should be give up for seniors, handicapped persons and a woma "holding a child",4 year olds I don't think so. I don't understand why you and your daughter didn't sit and stand the boys by you. If the bus was as crowded as you say they wouldn't have been able to fall or anything.

Yeah, that's a good point. I didn't even think of that. Some already gave up a seat for them, she should have done exactly this..either squish all three kids in one seat, or maybe put the 2 year old and one of the 4 year olds in a seat and stand with the other.

 

[mickey2000]

Just maybe Disney should have better bus runs ! I gave up on thier buses 10 years ago.... Would never be at WDW without a rental car !