Chivalry is dead.

[famsen]

Maybe this had already been brought up, but I have thought many times that Disney should allow for standing on their buses. It is much to dangerous have all those people standing on a moving vehicle. The solution should be to add more buses.

 

[Cinderellabride]

I didn't read the replies yet, but there were def times on the last trip that happened to me. BUT I actually had one bus driver who would not leave if someone did not give me a seat! I thought that was awesome, and thanked her very much as I got off the bus and she said she could not stand it on her concience if something happened to my son because I was standing holding him on her bus. There should be more bus drivers like that. My son was about 6 months old if that makes a difference.

 

[paladin]

I have to agree that there is no reason to give up your seat just because there is a woman without a seat (pregnant, holding sleeping baby, elderly, infirm, sure, but just because they are a woman, no way). Sorry, but to me that seems too much like "oh, yes, we must let the little lady have a seat".

Let me add, before everyone jumps all over me for being a chauvinistic male, that I am a woman who is over 50 (and fast approaching 60 ).

And while I do think that chivalry is dead (or at least on life support), people should be aware of the attitude and lack of response that they may be giving. Let someone in front of you in traffic and don't even get so much as a wave in thanks. Hold the door for someone and get no comment. Give someone your seat and not even get a nod. Yes, they have all happened to me recently.

 

[Scurvy]

But ... didn't all those women and moms with kids manage to drag themeselves around the themepark all day too? Shouldn't they be able to stand for a few more minutes on the bus without a problem too?

Well said.

And of course if they can't manage to stand, then they are welcome to wait for a bus that has open seats.

 

[qcmommy]

But ... didn't all those women and moms with kids manage to drag themeselves around the themepark all day too? Shouldn't they be able to stand for a few more minutes on the bus without a problem too?

I think when people mention "with kids" it's more if the child is sleeping (can't be in a stroller on a bus) and the awkwardness of handling a folded up stroller, bags and children while you are on a moving bus. Very different from walking around a park.
If I see someone struggling I will give up my seat. I feel any healthy capable adult should.

 

[BuzzLiteyear]

I disagree with the title of the post...it is not dead. I have seen many cases where men my age, their sons, etc., think nothing of standing and offering their seats to a variety of people. I also see many cases where they don't.

I rarely sit when I get on the bus. Even if I am the first one on. My thinking is...I have two perfectly good legs. There are many people that for one reason or another require a seat more than I do. Sure, there are many able bodied people that could easliy stand, but that is their business.

However, when I see parents with young children that must stand on the bus, it does make me wonder where some of these people (not just men) learned (or didn't) compassion. I do it because it's the right thing to do, not because someone expects it. My 12YO DD will often stand with me. I guess I've done somethings right as a parent.

It shouldn't have anything to do with equality, I got there first, etc, etc...It should be about doing what's right.

My $0.02

 

[OhhBother]

Well said.

And of course if they can't manage to stand, then they are welcome to wait for a bus that has open seats.

Agree wholeheartedly. Anyone -- male or female, young or old, pregnant or not -- who is at Disney made a choice to be there. I'm a woman, and I would never expect someone to give up a seat for me. I just wait until the next bus if it looks crowded. Does it take longer? Sure, but that's the choice I make.

 

[lugnut33]

When we get Paid Equal you can treat us as Equals... Until then we should be treated as the Goddess we are.... coz with out us.. the human race is pretty much over.

So STAND UP so we can SIT DOWN you male pigs!!!

Well, getting paid more is compensation for us not being able to give birth to children.











OK OK, Now I'm superkidding ya. BTW, I always give up my seat to women... especially if they are cute and have huge..... feet. No, really, I'm like a knight in shining armor..... made of plastic. I'm so chivalrist that I enjoy jousting on the weekends.

 

[si-am]

I didn't read the replies yet, but there were def times on the last trip that happened to me. BUT I actually had one bus driver who would not leave if someone did not give me a seat! I thought that was awesome, and thanked her very much as I got off the bus and she said she could not stand it on her concience if something happened to my son because I was standing holding him on her bus. There should be more bus drivers like that. My son was about 6 months old if that makes a difference.

Seriously? That would irritate me. I don't think people should be FORCED to give up their seats if they were there first.

If I had a 6 month old, I would be driving if I needed a guaranteed seat.

 

[SanFranciscan]

I am still reading the posts here, but I do want to weigh in on this subject because I am on public transit every day.

I hated to take anyone's seat while I was on crutches following an elevator crash after I got stuck in an elevator awhile. On subway cars I often stood but sat on buses because the driver would enforce the law. I don't think I ever even got offered a seat while bandaged from ankle to groin following some surgery that I needed on my legs to prevent amputation. My bandages were clearly visible because their size forced me to wear a skirt since pants wouldn't fit over them, but enduring the pain of the blood moving with the force of the motion and stopping of the bus was surely easier than enduring the resentment of anyone who had been shamed into giving me a seat. Thankfully my disabilities were temporary because I can't imagine what it must be like for the permanently disabled to have to be resented by the able-bodied over a seat. If you can read this, don't you think that the blind would gladly trade you their seat for your eyes?

 

[Bagheera23608]

As a healthy woman in my 30s I don't expect anyone to give up their seat for me. We've all been in the parks all, we're all tired. Even if I had kids I wouldn't expect it. Traveling with little ones who need strollers and fall asleep and have to be held was your choice. That sounds really harsh when I type it, but it is true. Wait till your kids are old enuff that they will remember the trip in the first place and you won't have that problem, lol. My parents didn't take us till we were 9 and 12. No strollers, no babes in arms. And I still don't remember 99% of that trip.

I will get up and so will my DH for an elderly person or handicapped in some way, I'm not rude. (DH is nicer than me, btw!) And I've even gotten softer in my old age and may even get up for some one with baby in arms, but I don't see that it's fair or the right thing to do. I like chivalry - doing the right thing. But entitlement is another thing all together. My best friend's hubby fusses at me if I get out of the car before he can open the door. Drives me nuts. I can get out quicker myself than waiting for him to "let" her out first, then opening my door. But I like them both, so I put up with it, .

 

[KSDisneyDad]

But ... didn't all those women and moms with kids manage to drag themeselves around the themepark all day too? Shouldn't they be able to stand for a few more minutes on the bus without a problem too?

Wow....I find this line of reasoning a little callous. This is in regards to holding a sleeping child. Most likely that child was walking or sitting in a stroller all day, not sleeping in their Mom or Dad's arms. Yes, you're absolutely right that Mom or Dad is able to stand a few more minutes holding that child, and will do so very willingly as part of being a parent. However, it can be difficult to do (I've done it a few times) and it is much easier and safer to hold a sleeping child while sitting. I would offer my seat anyday to someone in this situation no matter how tired I was myself. To think like you expressed above with no emphathy for others is sad indeed.

 

[KellyNY]

Seriously? That would irritate me. I don't think people should be FORCED to give up their seats if they were there first.

If I had a 6 month old, I would be driving if I needed a guaranteed seat.

Agree, get a car or at least wait for another bus. BTW driver was totally off line or first day at work.

 

[jaminmd]

I always watch threads like this with interest. I was born and raised in the south and there was always a huge focus on manners. Yet it doesn't bother me a bit if there are men sitting on a bus while I have to stand. If I wanted to sit, I would wait for the next bus rather than getting on to an already crowded bus and expecting someone else who was there first to give me their seat. If I was simply unable to stand I would either plan on always waiting for a bus with available seating or I would provide my own transportation. To do otherwise, and expect that someone else will give up their seat for me, seems somewhat entitled.

My husband often gives up his seat to others and frankly I often wish he wouldn't. There are plently of people (both male and female) who look like they need the seat more than he thinks he does, and so he will give it to them. Then there are the women who expect to have a seat handed to them simply because they are female and they stand and glare at any men who remain seated. Frankly it isn't their business why those men are seated. Maybe they don't feel well, maybe they have an injury, maybe they are tired, or maybe they just don't feel like standing up. In the end, it doesn't matter. Those who choose to ride a bus that has standing room only are free to choose otherwise if they don't want to stand. They have other options. They shouldn't feel entitled to someone else's seat.

Chivalry isn't dead - I see it every day. I don't think the fact that someone isn't willing to stand on a crowded bus is really a very good test of their chivalry.

 

[Bagheera23608]

Double

 

[stella27]

I really am surprised at the responses here. I was actually frightened one time while I was standing on a rocking bus from DTD back to the BC at night with a sleeping baby in my arms.

It didn't occur to me to wait for another bus or rent a car. I suppose that is an option. Honestly it's not something I ever think about unless I am actually IN the situation, and then I am always surprised.

I think "got there first" is a fine sentiment as long as you aren't dealing with a NEED and I'm sorry, but I think the little ones need some extra care and compassion. I don't care if they're mine or someone else's.

And you often can't tell when you're in a line boarding a bus jsut how crowded it actually will be.

Now I just know not to expect it. I still am pleased when I do see concern for other people in action - women with children, the elderly, small children, the disabled or injured. I just think "hey lady, you should have rented a car if you wanted a seat" or "if you bring your kids on your vacation, that's your problem" are a pretty sad reflection on our society.

 

[jaminmd]

Just an FYI. People seem to get very crazy about this topic on these boards so put on you flame suit! Unfortunately some people on here don't feel they should bother to give up their seat to anyone, for almost any reason because they go there first. Personally I don't feel that way. I did have an experience last fall that upset me. We got on the bus one evening from MK. We were somewhat towards the front of a long line. I was trying to balance my bag, help the 3 kids, DH had the stroller. So we get on and immediately see the seats are all taken. Before we could turn around to get off at least 20 people pile in behind us. We were stuck. Lights pop off, bus starts rolling. DH is trying to balance the double stroller and brace DS5 as he struggled to hold on. I am trying to hold DD17 months, balance my bag on my back and hold DD4 up- who is crying as she is falling over. I didn't know what to do. I really thought I would fall. My DH was telling me to sit down on the floor. Finally a woman sitting saw me struggling gives her boyfriend/husband whatever he was a whack and says get up -can't you see she is going to fall? I felt a little bad but took the seat and put both girls on my lap. I would be perfectly happy to stand but the kids safety is the most important.

But this was your choice to take public transportation, along with a few kids & lots of stuff. A rental car would have been a better option.

At the end of a long day, everyone gets tired. I've stood when my feet were killing me and I'd never expect anyone to give me a seat because I'm female. We do give up our seats when we feel it is appropriate but when you have to lug all of the "kid stuff" with you, busses are not the best option.

Parents know what it's like to lug all of that stuff. They should plan accordingly.

 

[brerrabbit]

Like a previous poster I was born and rasied in the South and was taught to always offer a seat to a lady. To say yes mame, and yes sir. I give up my seat often while at Disney to those who I feel need it. I then get in trouble with my wife when we get off the bus because I have had three knee surgeries and while I am able to walk all day at the parks and enjoy myself, she knows that by the end of the day my knees will be swollen and sore. I will always be willing to give up my seat for those who need it more but to those who say men are rude for not always offering keep in mind that that they may really want a seat and need a seat to. During our last trip I offered my seat to a young Lady and she grabbed my hand and said "really it's okay, I understand" I didn't understand until 5 minutes into the ride she asked me about the seven inch scars on both my knees. I was wearing shorts and she obviously saw them.

 

[Spritie]

This is a weird thread to read. Maybe its a cultural thing (or maybe its because I'm one of those non-lady scary feminists ) but its not a thing here in the part of Canada I live in to give up your seat to someone just because they're female.

Myself and my friends have been taught to be polite to everyone, gender has nothing to do with it. You see an older person, you offer your seat. You're sitting in the reserved seating, you give up your seat. A parent with children, you give up your seat.

I would never expect someone to give up their seat to me just because I have ovaries.

So maybe the reason some people don't get up for able looking women is based on where they come from.

Also, to Indiana Rose Lee

And when the wages are compared job for job, the stats changed a lot. You might want up to date apples to apples stats.

This isn't meant to be flaming, so I hope you don't take it as such (its just a personal area of interest) however, this opens a bit of a can of worms. If you're going to get in depth in this area, unfortunately women are still paid less than men for comparable work even when you're not averaging across all employment. You also have to look at things like historicaly lower wages for traditionally female jobs, various cultural/educational attitudes that push women out of certain fields, hiring practices, etc. Its complicated stuff.

 

[holcomb-mania]

Actually there is enough male samples stored away that if all men went sterile today, it would be 100's of years before there would no longer be children

Maybe, but it'd be boring.