Children in opposite gender bathrooms

[MamaBearJohnson]

We had a weird situation while on vacation at Disney last week. We were having dinner at Crystal Palace and the ladies room was out of order. I had just recently washed my hands so I wasn't too concerned for myself, but we had forgotten our hand sanitizer so I sent my husband with our two children (girl- 5, boy- 8) to have them wash their hands in the men's room.

He was stopped by a cast member and this conversation ensued:

Cast Member- "What do you think you're doing?"
Him- "Taking my children to wash their hands."
CM- "The ladies room is closed."
Him- "That's fine. I'm taking them into the men's room"
CM- "But you have a girl."
Him- "She's five."
CM- "That's exactly my point. She is way too old to be going with you into the men's room."

She refused to let him in with her so he returned her to me and was really shaken up by it.

I'm sure how people feel about this issue varies from family to family and that's totally fine. I just didn't care for a CM rudely dictating how our family is allowed to raise our children.

We didn't say anything at the time because we were trying to salvage our dinner but we definitely left with a sour taste in our mouths. I still take our 8 year old into the women's room with me at Disney if I have to go because if we're off with just the two of us, there is never a line in the men's room, so he'd finish first and come out and have to stand in the middle of a theme park without an adult while I finish. My daughter can't even reach the soap on her own, so I'm not sure how she'd be capable of going into the ladies room without me to wash hands.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Maybe its just me, but an 8 year old boy in the ladies room is vastly different than a 5 year old girl in a Men's room.

There aren't urinals in the ladies.

There very well could be a policy for Disney. Which may be why the CM stopped your husband.

 

[Gracie09]

Maybe its just me, but an 8 year old boy in the ladies room is vastly different than a 5 year old girl in a Men's room.

There aren't urinals in the ladies.

There very well could be a policy for Disney. Which may be why the CM stopped your husband.

My husband brought my dds (aged 5) into the mens room when needed. They know boys have different parts than girls. There was never an issue and he often passed cm on the way in or out. It sounds like a cm was just inserting his own sense of morality into a situation where it didn't belong. I would have asked to speak with a manager.

 

[MamaBearJohnson]

My husband brought my dds (aged 5) into the mens room when needed. They know boys have different parts than girls. There was never an issue and he often passed cm on the way in or out. It sounds like a cm was just inserting his own sense of morality into a situation where it didn't belong. I would have asked to speak with a manager.

This. My husband said she was an older lady and thought maybe it was a generational gap thing because in her day that wasn't done or something. I told him he should have said "She's transgender. She's actually my son." and that would have really thrown her off. Most men at urinals aren't showing their man parts off.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

.....

I'm sure how people feel about this issue varies from family to family and that's totally fine. I just didn't care for a CM rudely dictating how our family is allowed to raise our children.

We didn't say anything at the time because we were trying to salvage our dinner but we definitely left with a sour taste in our mouths. I still take our 8 year old into the women's room with me at Disney.....

How was this CM rude; because you didn't like what she said? I'm pretty sure she doesn't care how you raise your kids. She was right; a five year old girl should not be in the men's room, especially for a non-emergency (to wash hands). Good for her for speaking up.

An 8 year old boy should not be in the women's room either. That is ridiculous.

 

[North of Mouse]

Most men at urinals aren't showing their man parts off.

Really???? How else can they use it?? Had to ask my dh about this one - he's confused also!

By the way - except in extreme emergency, my opinion is any child over 3-4 is too old to be in opposite gender bathrooms. That's why there are 'companion' bathrooms!

 

[Gracie09]

How was this CM rude; because you didn't like what she said? I'm pretty sure she doesn't care how you raise your kids. She was right; a five year old girl should not be in the men's room, especially for a non-emergency (to wash hands). Good for her for speaking up.

An 8 year old boy should not be in the women's room either. That is ridiculous.

Seriously. The server stuck her nose in where it didn't belong. This isn't a tween going into the opposite gender restroom its a young child. What if it was a single father? Companion restrooms are not in restaurants. I don't know about you, but we wash our hands before eating especially at disney. If it was a five year old boy going into the women's room with his mother she wouldn't have blinked an eye. and the ladies room was closed.
Seriously a five year old isn't even in kindergarten in many places. My girls can't reach the sink or the soap without help in many places.
Men don't pull it out and swing it around. You have to look and its easy to keep a kid from looking if you want.

 

[NOLA_Tink]

This. My husband said she was an older lady and thought maybe it was a generational gap thing because in her day that wasn't done or something. I told him he should have said "She's transgender. She's actually my son." and that would have really thrown her off. Most men at urinals aren't showing their man parts off.

Yes, most men might not, but some men might. She was probably concerned your LO would see a man's private parts, whether he was trying to "show" his man parts or not. I understand the feeling that others shouldn't dictate how I raise my child, but I can also understand her concern. I'm sure she's seen and heard some alarming things in her line of work.

 

[figment3258]

I would be shaken too. I just asked my husband and he agrees with me that at five that's fine . I think the cast member was wrong or what they should have done was showed you another option for another bathroom but my husband would take he 8yr old daughter in the men's room if there was not other option.

 

[Gracie09]

Yes, most men might not, but some men might. She was probably concerned your LO would see a man's private parts, whether he was trying to "show" his man parts or not. I understand the feeling that others shouldn't dictate how I raise my child, but I can also understand her concern. I'm sure she's seen and heard some alarming things in her line of work.

As a parent, they have the right to decide what to expose their child to, not a stranger at a restaurant. She was 5 not 10 or 15, 5. She was with a parent, not alone and her appropriate gender restroom was closed.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I would have ignored the CM and continued on into the bathroom.

 

[MamaBearJohnson]

Yes, most men might not, but some men might. She was probably concerned your LO would see a man's private parts, whether he was trying to "show" his man parts or not. I understand the feeling that others shouldn't dictate how I raise my child, but I can also understand her concern. I'm sure she's seen and heard some alarming things in her line of work.

I teach kindergarten and my husband is a pastor, so we've seen and heard a few alarming things in our line of work too, which is why I would never leave my young child outside alone at a theme park while I use the restroom. What do you do when you're with just you and your opposite sex child and there are no companion restrooms available?

 

[lizard1]

My husband brought my dds (aged 5) into the mens room when needed. They know boys have different parts than girls. There was never an issue and he often passed cm on the way in or out. It sounds like a cm was just inserting his own sense of morality into a situation where it didn't belong. I would have asked to speak with a manager.

I agree.

As a parent, they have the right to decide what to expose their child to, not a stranger at a restaurant. She was 5 not 10 or 15, 5. She was with a parent, not alone and her appropriate gender restroom was closed.

I agree with this. I also wonder if the CM would have stopped a mom taking her 5 year old son into the women's room with her....

 

[StirlingSilver83]

I teach kindergarten and my husband is a pastor, so we've seen and heard a few alarming things in our line of work too, which is why I would never leave my young child outside alone at a theme park while I use the restroom. What do you do when you're with just you and your opposite sex child and there are no companion restrooms available?

That is exactly what I was thinking. I have an 8 year old son who is on the spectrum and I would never send him off by himself in a theme park men's room with strangers in there. First of all he prolly wouldn't go, he's scared to death to be around people he doesn't know and usually doesn't want to leave my side and second of all sometimes he forgets to lock the stall doors when he goes to the bathroom.

If I am by myself with him he just comes into the woman's restroom with me if there are no companion restrooms available. Usually no one even cares. I would of had your hubby speak to a manager...that's just ridiculous.

 

[MissMaryQC]

And this is why places like WDW, movie theaters, the zoo, etc. need to have family restrooms. That way people who feel their 5 year olds are old enough to go into a bathroom unaccompanied can do so, while other people can take their children into a unisex area without being judged for doing so.

 

[Jess4WDW]

There should be family restrooms available everywhere throughout WDW. I would never allow my children to enter a public restroom without adult supervision. You never know who may be in there.

 

[BubblyTrip]

How was this CM rude; because you didn't like what she said? I'm pretty sure she doesn't care how you raise your kids. She was right; a five year old girl should not be in the men's room, especially for a non-emergency (to wash hands). Good for her for speaking up.

An 8 year old boy should not be in the women's room either. That is ridiculous.

I respectfully disagree. No way is my five year old going into a public bathroom without an adult in the vast majority of situations.

I would think the average 8 yo could wash hands alone with an adult waiting outside, but I'm sure there are exceptions, and I appreciate different kids have different needs.

 

[MommyMK]

The average 5 year old cannot reach the sink, soap dispensers and paper towel dispensers in most restrooms. They need an adult's help and whether it's mom or dad it shouldn't matter.

 

[mrsmomo]

The woman's restroom was closed... Regardless of the childs age or gender it was the only restroom available

 

[maxiesmom]

By the way - except in extreme emergency, my opinion is any child over 3-4 is too old to be in opposite gender bathrooms. That's why there are 'companion' bathrooms!

Actually the companion restrooms are meant for people who need help using the toilet. The seats are higher off of the ground, and obviously not meant for little children to use. They are not set up the same as the family restrooms people are used to seeing in the malls.