Child support question

[smfritz03]

There is no need to take the defense on all of this. So you are on the flip side of the coin not getting as much as you should for child support or dealing w/ a deadbeat. That doesn't make ALL fathers that way. You don't want to be grouped in the group of money hungry custodial parents, then don't group all fathers as being dead beat and not wanting to pay support. It's a two way street.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

I am in college to be a social worker; then can and in fact do counsel people.
At least here in NY.

Are you talking about LSW's? They are far different experience and training wise. Many people might not understand that.

sm, but the the percentages are not on your side.

It would be like me talking about how many women sexually abuse kids. It happens, but it is not the norm.

 

[talulabelle]

My dh pays child support in MN to a woman who has been trying to find loopholes to continue the child support. The kid turned 18 in July. He quit high school this past January. They found out that they can continue child support if he goes to secondary school. So they found out that an online high school qualifies as secondary school - enough to continue child support. BUT he is only going half time (which means he's ordered to pay until he turns 20) according to the county and the state says he's going full time. ALSO he may be attending college away from home but we don't know how to get information stating that he is since he college won't give out info. We need to get an attorney but I think there are ways to go about getting info without doing so. We just can't afford an attorney and we are at a complete loss. The amount of money we pay is astronomical! You would think he was a celebrity with the amount that he pays.

Anyone have any suggestions? Please.

Thank you

Didn't read the whole thread, but your post smacks of the sound of a man that is a dead beat dad. You refer to the child as "the kid" not "my husbands son". Why on earth would your husband not want to continue to help out his own child, even if he is 18? Doesn't he have any contact with him? Wouldn't he want ot help him for a couple more years. You say "they found out" like mom and 'kid' are a team trying to swindle money.

Honestly I can see the post that the "kids" mother would write...."A loser got me pregnant and didn't want to have ANYTHING to do with my child" I had to go to court to get support. I have worked hard as a single mother to raise this child for 18 years and now that the loser has a wife and 2 young children, he doesn't want to have to give one more dime for his first child. He is trying to withdraw support now that he is 18 even though my son wants to try to continue his education. ...."

 

[musclemouse]

Nope nothing like that. Oh and he is just a kid because neither one of us knows him. DH wasn't even around when he was born. She cheated on him with another man at the time baby was conceived. DH didn't do a paternity test because he didn't want to fight it and figured that if it was the other persons child he wouldn't pay anyway. He just let it go and paid child support for the "kid". Oh and your "kids mother post"... I have to laugh because she doesn't want to work...she lives off 3 child support checks, has 6 kids, her current dh doesn't work because he doesn't have to and "the kid" quit high school back in January - so had no intention of going back until "kids mother" said that the child support would end and there would be no money.

Didn't read the whole thread, but your post smacks of the sound of a man that is a dead beat dad. You refer to the child as "the kid" not "my husbands son". Why on earth would your husband not want to continue to help out his own child, even if he is 18? Doesn't he have any contact with him? Wouldn't he want ot help him for a couple more years. You say "they found out" like mom and 'kid' are a team trying to swindle money.

Honestly I can see the post that the "kids" mother would write...."A loser got me pregnant and didn't want to have ANYTHING to do with my child" I had to go to court to get support. I have worked hard as a single mother to raise this child for 18 years and now that the loser has a wife and 2 young children, he doesn't want to have to give one more dime for his first child. He is trying to withdraw support now that he is 18 even though my son wants to try to continue his education. ...."

 

[talulabelle]

Nope nothing like that. Oh and he is just a kid because neither one of us knows him. DH wasn't even around when he was born. She cheated on him with another man at the time baby was conceived. DH didn't do a paternity test because he didn't want to fight it and figured that if it was the other persons child he wouldn't pay anyway. He just let it go and paid child support for the "kid". Oh and your "kids mother post"... I have to laugh because she doesn't want to work...she lives off 3 child support checks, has 6 kids, her current dh doesn't work because he doesn't have to and "the kid" quit high school back in January - so had no intention of going back until "kids mother" that the child support would end and there would be no money.

That is really sad. It is also sad that he didn't want visitation.

 

[hentob]

Nope nothing like that. Oh and he is just a kid because neither one of us knows him. DH wasn't even around when he was born. She cheated on him with another man at the time baby was conceived. DH didn't do a paternity test because he didn't want to fight it and figured that if it was the other persons child he wouldn't pay anyway. He just let it go and paid child support for the "kid".

I highly doubt any human being would pay child support, let alone “astronomical, celebrity-grade” support, to a child he doesn’t even think is his

So, does he just assume he is not the child's father and that is how he can wake up each morning and not fight to know him How can you be a man and not move yourself TO your child and try day after day, year after year to know your son


My God! This poor boy! Wow.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Nope nothing like that. Oh and he is just a kid because neither one of us knows him. DH wasn't even around when he was born. She cheated on him with another man at the time baby was conceived. DH didn't do a paternity test because he didn't want to fight it and figured that if it was the other persons child he wouldn't pay anyway. He just let it go and paid child support for the "kid". Oh and your "kids mother post"... I have to laugh because she doesn't want to work...she lives off 3 child support checks, has 6 kids, her current dh doesn't work because he doesn't have to and "the kid" quit high school back in January - so had no intention of going back until "kids mother" said that the child support would end and there would be no money.

I would have to say the mother of your dhs son must have gone after some extremely wealthy men to be able to live off of 3 child support checks. Even with 3 times the amount my ex pays (assuming he does) I could not live a decent life. And that is with one dd not six kids! So essentially 8 people (six kids, dh, and mom) are living off of three child support checks and the mom drives a new escalade?

 

[I_Know_You2!]

I highly doubt any human being would pay child support, let alone “astronomical, celebrity-grade” support, to a child he doesn’t even think is his

So, does he just assume he is not the child's father and that is how he can wake up each morning and not fight to know him How can you be a man and not move yourself TO your child and try day after day, year after year to know your son


My God! This poor boy! Wow.

Amen.

 

[musclemouse]

Yep.

No he does not assume he isn't the childs father. I never said anything like that. The MOM cheated, she is the one that wanted out. She is the one that made it difficult for DH with everything. Jeez you guys make it seems like the mother isn't to blame for anything. Stop assuming.

I highly doubt any human being would pay child support, let alone “astronomical, celebrity-grade” support, to a child he doesn’t even think is his


So, does he just assume he is not the child's father and that is how he can wake up each morning and not fight to know him How can you be a man and not move yourself TO your child and try day after day, year after year to know your son


My God! This poor boy! Wow.

 

[talulabelle]

I would have to say the mother of your dhs son must have gone after some extremely wealthy men to be able to live off of 3 child support checks. Even with 3 times the amount my ex pays (assuming he does) I could not live a decent life. And that is with one dd not six kids! So essentially 8 people (six kids, dh, and mom) are living off of three child support checks and the mom drives a new escalade?

Child support is just enough to cover a childs living expenses, not the mothers. If he isn't paying alimony, there is no way that it is possible for her to live off it. She can have a good paying job for herself and make a nice for her life and still be entitled to have the father of the child contribute toward support. Why are you jealous she drives an Escalade? Perhaps she or a new husband earned it. Does that mean that the childs father shouldn't be legally resposible for feeding him anymore? Is she supposedto live poor for the rest of her life because she gave birth to your DH's kid.

You sound like a jealous wife that wants all of DH's money for your own kids and to pretend that his first child never happened. God help you if your marriage doesn't work out and your DH gets a new wife and has kids. Then try living off that "celebrity amount".

 

[musclemouse]

I would have to say the mother of your dhs son must have gone after some extremely wealthy men to be able to live off of 3 child support checks. Even with 3 times the amount my ex pays (assuming he does) I could not live a decent life. And that is with one dd not six kids! So essentially 8 people (six kids, dh, and mom) are living off of three child support checks and the mom drives a new escalade?

Yep.

 

[creativeamanda]

This does not make sense. Let's say that the mother gets $1500 from each father. Let's just say, instead, $1500 from your husband, and $2000 from the other 2. That's only $42000 per year for a family of 8. If she gets $1500 for each child, which is highly unlikely, she gets $108,000 for a family of 8, which she has to pay taxes on.

I think there is more to the story. I also think that bringing in the fact that the mom *might* have cheated is something that needed to be left out. A person does not pay that amount for a child they do not think is theirs. A simple blood test could have fixed all of that.

My advice stays the same. Visit a lawyer, get a copy of transcripts, and have the cs go straight to tuition or the 18 year old son of your husband.

 

[lillygator]

I highly doubt any human being would pay child support, let alone “astronomical, celebrity-grade” support, to a child he doesn’t even think is his

So, does he just assume he is not the child's father and that is how he can wake up each morning and not fight to know him How can you be a man and not move yourself TO your child and try day after day, year after year to know your son


My God! This poor boy! Wow.

actually, you would be surprised.

I think it happens more often than people think.

 

[musclemouse]

Oh and I am just like this "kid". My mom and my bio dad were 19 and I was conceived. He went back home to Oregon and I was born 9 months later. He had a fiance back home. He didn't pay child support and my mom did not go after him for any. My mom was just as at fault as he was. I'm sure all of you are agreeing that I was a "fault".

Okay. I'm completely done with this on DIS.

I'm going back to talk about DISNEY. I guess that is what we should all do. This is the DIS boards, right. The Happiest Place on Earth??? hmmm

 

[luvsJack]

Child support is just enough to cover a childs living expenses, not the mothers. If he isn't paying alimony, there is no way that it is possible for her to live off it. She can have a good paying job for herself and make a nice for her life and still be entitled to have the father of the child contribute toward support. Why are you jealous she drives an Escalade? Perhaps she or a new husband earned it. Does that mean that the childs father shouldn't be legally resposible for feeding him anymore? Is she supposedto live poor for the rest of her life because she gave birth to your DH's kid.

You sound like a jealous wife that wants all of DH's money for your own kids and to pretend that his first child never happened. God help you if your marriage doesn't work out and your DH gets a new wife and has kids. Then try living off that "celebrity amount".

AMEN!!

This poor child. I can only imagine what it must be like to go through life knowing that your father doesn't want you! And to say he just didn't want to fight it and get a paternity test is nothing but a cop out! Sounds like a way to make himself able to sleep at night. So very sad

OP, this "kid" is a living, breathing, human being that from all accounts your husband helped to create. Regardless of what either of you think of this child's mother, he is the responsiblity of your husband. Its time for hubbie to step up, be a man and be a father to this boy.

 

[musclemouse]

Oh brother! You guys are clueless. Forget it!!! Just leave it alone already. I guess I will be the one to prove if you don't know the whole story then you shouldn't judge.

 

[lillygator]

Oh brother! You guys are clueless. Forget it!!! Just leave it alone already. I guess I will be the one to prove if you don't know the whole story then you shouldn't judge.

don't be done with the DIS, just know you will get flamed for certain things....sucks, I know.

 

[hentob]

I'm sure all of you are agreeing that I was a "fault".

Not at all. How can the child be at fault The child didn't ask to be born, that is why the adults have to step up to the plate. And not just with money.

I am surprised that you harbor such resentment for "the kid". I am surprised that you married a man who is not there for his son emotionally. You know how it feels to be abandoned by your father And yet you started a family with a man that did the same thing.

I am sure it is a psychological circle that gets repeated over and over again. Once again, I am sorry for the children that get caught up in this. At some point, an adult has to be the better person and say "My child deserves more" It makes me sick how these children are treated.

 

[talulabelle]

AMEN!!

This poor child. I can only imagine what it must be like to go through life knowing that your father doesn't want you! And to say he just didn't want to fight it and get a paternity test is nothing but a cop out! Sounds like a way to make himself able to sleep at night. So very sad

OP, this "kid" is a living, breathing, human being that from all accounts your husband helped to create. Regardless of what either of you think of this child's mother, he is the responsiblity of your husband. Its time for hubbie to step up, be a man and be a father to this boy.

For Gods sake, that ain't gonna happen, she doesn't even want her Dh to throw the kids some peanuts for support much less actually spend any time with him.

 

[MoniqueU]

It doesn't matter one inch to me if the mother cheated or wanted out. Your DH signed on for child support and should have had a relationship with his son. Lots of people have a hard time with their ex's and still make an effort to put their children first and have a relationship with them. This was your DH's responsibility to follow through with even if she made it difficult for him. I also think if he is in school even if it is online he should still pay child support.

BTW I am married to my one and only husband and have 3 kids so I am not recieving child support and never have. The above is just my opinion and I feel sorry for the son to have had his father abandon him essentially and then to want to let him down at the crossroads of his life financially, it is all so sad and disturbing.