Child-free, but not by choice?

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi everyone and that you so much for your replies.

PrincessSuzanne......My Insurance does not cover Infertility either! Sometimes I sit up in bed just adding up all the thousands of dollars we have spent on IUI's, Meds, and the IVF's....I mean I know it was something we opted to do but we just wish we would have had "better results". I am really sorry about what you have to put up with at your work...Believe me...been there and done that! And dn't you just love the idiodic comments...NOT!!

Want2bemommy.....I am sorry for you loss....and Thank you for your kind words....I will be praying for your d/h's safe return.

aclov....Thank you....It's been awhile since my last pity party...but I do have them now & again. I know what you mean about finances...my d/h & I usually had to wait almost a year between IVF's to be able to afford the next one Your friend may just be doing herself a favor by not seeking medical advice...Unfortunantly...that's when you get on the Roller Coaster!!

 

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi everyone....I could not see my last post earlier?

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Just stopping by to say hello . I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was quite uneventful. I have been trying to find a place to stay in Destin for a couple of nights in May with a friend from work and my mom. My Gyn's office just called and said that I can increase my Metformin to 800mg twice a day, so I'm gonna give it a shot.

Suzanne

 

[want2bamommy]

Hi everyone and that you so much for your replies.

Want2bemommy.....I am sorry for you loss....and Thank you for your kind words....I will be praying for your d/h's safe return.

QUOTE]

Thank you Sum! I am glad that this thread has picked up a bit over the last few weeks. We all know how hard the TTC process can be and it is great to know we can talk about it and that other's will know how we feel!

Missie

 

[want2bamommy]

Just stopping by to say hello . I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was quite uneventful. I have been trying to find a place to stay in Destin for a couple of nights in May with a friend from work and my mom. My Gyn's office just called and said that I can increase my Metformin to 800mg twice a day, so I'm gonna give it a shot.

Suzanne

Hi, Suzanne ! My weekend was pretty good, thanks. I wound up going to a comedy club with a bunch of friends Saturday and had some good laughs. I really needed them too!

Yay on upping the Metformin!! I am on 2000mg per day (2 500mg pills in the morning and 2 at night). I am one of the lucky ones that haven't experienced the uncomfortable side effects that some women get. You'll have to let us know how it goes!

Missie

 

[SumMickeyfans]

Hello Missie...yes Suzanne...keep us posted on the Metformin.
I never had to take that. When I started with all the Infert. stuff I was started out on Clomid then Serifin...then the shots...Gonal F, Follistim...etc...but never Glucophage.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hello ladies, so far so good with the Metformin. I have taken 3 doses so far and no stomach issues, but I make sure to take it right after a meal.

Missie, I'm glad you were able to have some fun and lots of laughs. Sometimes I catch myself laughing through the tears. In May, I am going to Destin, Fl with a co-worker and my mother for some ladies only fun. Hubby is not real happy, but I told him we could go back to Florida for his birthday in August if he wanted to. He originally said that he wanted to go to Talladega for the Fall race, then changed his mind. I hope your DH will be home soon and then you can have some fun catching up and maybe get that BFP.

SumMickeyfans, I have taken Clomid and Repronex. Clomid only worked on my left ovary, did nothing for my right one (never produced any follicles). Repronex seemed to work well, had several follies, then the RE decreased the dose and I absorbed some of the follies, and I think he was allowing too much time between the trigger shot and the IUI and we missed our opportunity each time. It is possible that I didn't ovulate even with the trigger shot. I don't know if I have ever ovulated, it I did, I didn't have any symptoms. (Maybe I need to start charting) I a taking the Metformin in hopes that it will help me ovulate on my own. Due to my Baloo size, I may have hormones that are out of whack and I did have a big cyst in my right ovary after the first IUI and had to take BCP's the next month.

If I can ever get my AF, then I am going to try taking Soy on CD 5-9, but she hasn't shown her face since the first of February.

Well I better get back to work for now.

Suzanne

 

[SumMickeyfans]

Suzanne....ahhhhh...don't ya just love it when R/E's screw with your protocol Definietly sounds as if he should have left you on the same dosage of Repro. for the follies to keep growing? I'm sure you ovulated but...if the you waited to long between shots...like you said...you missed your window! I hope that this med works to help you get the Big O (no pun intended) ....Sending you A/F vibes!!!

Shout out to Missie .......Hope you all have a Great Day!!

 

[hematite153]

Suzanne....ahhhhh... I'm sure you ovulated but...if the you waited to long between shots...like you said...you missed your window!

Suzanne, I share your frustration with this one. I'm reasonably confident that I am ovulating too quickly for the clinic to catch it. My temperature charting shows a dip on the SAME morning that the blood test shows a surge. They then do the IUI the next day--a whole 36 hours after the clue that is supposed to be too late to properly catch ovulation.

I've talked to many of the drs in the clinic and they always manage to convince me that the temperature dip is less indicative than the LH surge and that ovulation happens after the LH surge. Yet, every time the IUI doesn't work (and I bleed an exact 14 days after the temperature dip) I start questioning them again.

I have an appt this afternoon with my dr--she got called to the ER and had to cancel on me two weeks ago--so I'm going to try discussing this with her. For some reason I trust her more than the others. Although my hormone levels surprised us by being good, I do have fibro and it means that many things in my body work just slightly differently from the norm. She tends to be more willing to assume that individuals work differently and have to be adjusted to than the other drs in the clinic. Wish me luck!

 

[Nennie]

Hi Ladies!! I just wanted to share my latest Dos and Don'ts list!! I just posted it on the CB in the hopes that it might help someone!! Be back in a bit with personals, as I want to catch up with all of you!



Things NOT to say to someone who is suffering from Infertility:

Urban Legends

“I know of someone who found out she was pregnant right before they started their IVF" – I’m here, now, doing this cycle, knowing that someone else made it happen without doing IVF is really not helping me now.

"Never mind, if it doesn’t work, I know of someone who conceived naturally after 5 failed cycles" – that one really doesn’t help! I’m going through a cycle right now and I need to focus on the positive effect this might have on my life.

"You must be having lots of fun trying!" – Actually there's almost no sex involved. There’s really nothing fun or sexy about lying on a hospital bed, surrounded by a team of physicians and nurses.

“You should adopt, then you’ll get pregnant right away” – There’s no correlation between adopting, and having a biological child. If I adopt, it will be because I want to adopt, not because I’m secretly hoping that the stars will align and I will end up getting pregnant.

Religious Issues

“Maybe God didn’t mean for you to have children” – Ouch! Would you ever tell someone with cancer, that maybe God meant for them to die?

"Don't you feel like you are playing God?" – When someone we love gets sick we don’t ask if treating it is questioning god’s will, so why should we raise this question treating infertility?

“I’m morally opposed to fertility treatment” – Good for you. You don’t need to share that with me though, and definitely not while I am in the middle of treatment.

"Oh I could never do that" – aren’t you lucky you don’t have too!

Don’t talk about how easy it was for you to get pregnant

"I can't believe I got pregnant so easily" – And this is supposed to help me how?

"I forgot to take my pill yesterday; I hope I’m not pregnant" – And you are sharing this with me because?

“My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant, maybe you should borrow him for the night” - Uh, no thanks.

“Are you sure your doing it right?” – Gee, you are so funny.

“Here, you can just have one of my kids” – The next time someone says this to me, I might just grab their kid, hop in my car and drive off, just to prove what a heartless comment that is.

Being flippant about how easy it is for you to get pregnant isn't really helpful when we're in the middle of paying a fortune to be injected with hormones that make us feel awful, then having invasive procedures, not knowing if this will be successful. Please keep your pregnancy stories to yourself until we're pregnant too.

Other Don'ts

Don’t call everyday with a "Sooooo....any news?" – When I have good news, I’ll tell you. This is too much pressure.

"Don't be so touchy" – I’m on an overdose of hormones, of course I’m touchy!

"Things could be worse"- Of course things could always be worse, but that doesn’t really help right now.

When it doesn’t work

"You could always adopt" – that's not really the point and I might not be ready for adoption yet. When said in a flippant way, this comment also makees it seem like the local authority is just handing children out like sweets.

"So what did you do wrong?" – I’m under enough pressure without thinking that this is my fault (actually I probably do think it’s my fault, but I don’t need anyone to add to that feeling).

"There is more to life than children" - that may well be true but at the moment it really does not feel like it for us

So what should you say?

"How are you?" – Much better than ‘So, are you pregnant yet?’ which is a very directional question. Sometimes we don’t want to talk about it and ‘how are you’ gives us the option.

"Is there anything I can do?" – There probably isn’t anything you can do but it’s nice to have the offer.

"Can I get you some tissues?" – IVF is emotional in itself, and with the added hormones running round the system we are almost certain to cry at some point.

“I’m here if you want to talk about it” – Knowing that you are willing to listen means so much to me.

"Hug?" – my personal favorite!

 

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi hematite153.......Don't you just hate that darned 36 hours!! I know I did!! Too bad we can't make up our own protocols huh!!

Hello Neenie........I love the list...wish I could have had it when I was first started TTC!

 

[mking624]

Joining in!!

DH & I have been TTCing for nearly 6 years. We suffered through one miscarriage back in August 2005. RE believes my womb may be "hostile." I have stage 2 endometriosis which has also been found in my tubes so that doesn't bode well for pregnancy, either.

We are pretty limited in what we can do regarding treatment, being that drugs typically trigger endo flare-ups and anything more than that is too costly at the moment since our insurance only covers testing, not treatment.

So that's me in a nutshell!

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Also joining in...
I just had 2 miscarriages in a row. One in Dec at 10 weeks and one in Feb. at 5 weeks. I don't know which is worse, not being able to get pregnant or losing every baby you concieve. It's so frustrating and mentally exhausting. We just went for genetic counseling the other day. I can't wait to hear the results.
I'm 30 years old. I feel that the longer I keep waiting, the worse it's going to be. I'm SO SCARED to get pregnant again, I feel like I'm a bomb waitiing to go off... It's just horrible
To all out there who suffered losses/infertility, I hope one day things will work out for you...

 

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi Mary......I'm really sorry for your loss and your endo Don't Insurance companies just SUCK sometimes!! Mine does not cover Inf. treatments either

It's so frustrating and mentally exhausting.

Jamie....you are so right about that!! Best of luck with your appt. I am so very sorry for your losses as well. I can relate to how you feel. Not to I had genetic testing after my 3rd m/c and they found that I had Balanced Translocation of Chromosomes 5 & 6. Basically means that my embies grow to a certain point then they stop growing

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Hi Mary......I'm really sorry for your loss and your endo Don't Insurance companies just SUCK sometimes!! Mine does not cover Inf. treatments either



Jamie....you are so right about that!! Best of luck with your appt. I am so very sorry for your losses as well. I can relate to how you feel. Not to I had genetic testing after my 3rd m/c and they found that I had Balanced Translocation of Chromosomes 5 & 6. Basically means that my embies grow to a certain point then they stop growing

Did they say there's a fix for the 5 & 6 chromosone problem? When I went the other day, the lady was showing me all the scenerios that sometimes when you have a chromosone problem, you are completely healthy and you'd never know it if you didn't get tested. I really really hope that things will work out for you....
I just don't know.... my first miscarriage at 10 weeks was a blighted ovum. Sooooo sad We were so happy and planned everything, we picked out all the colors we wanted, the theme was going to be classic Pooh oh it's so sad thinking about this...
I didn't feel 'normal' the whole pregnancy, I always felt something was wrong. I had no morning sickness, I barely felt pregnant. At 10 weeks, I bled then I needed a D&C.
I think what may be wrong with me is a hormone problem, but I'm not too happy with my MD right now, because I want him to check my hormones and he refuses.
Time to switch doctors!!!

 

[feedindy]

I am so sorry for the difficulties and losses you have all suffered. My heart goes out to all of you with prayers and hopes of a blessing one day soon.

I though I would share our own family's struggles as there is a small chance it could be related. My 3 children and I are all diagnosed celiac disease. In my research of the disease I learned that it can cause unexplained fertility and miscarriages. The only treatment is a gluten free diet as it is a lifelong autoimmune disordered triggered by the ingestion of gluten (wheat, barley, rye and malt).

I mention it because it never hurts to look into causes. It is certainly not something that will explain away or fix the heartache for all of you, but if it helps even one person it is worth mentioning.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hello Ladies, How is your day going.

Nennie: Loved the list and I am going to print it out, because it made me smile. I just love to be told that I am lucky that I don't have children because I can have more things and go more places, well I have never seen a child as a burden. If I had wanted to have more material items and gone more places, I wouldn't have gotten married.

I have been really thinking about not being able to get preg lately because of a recent episode of Paula's Party (Paula Deen) where she brought out her grandson and doted about how wonderful it was to be a grandmother, of course if you could have seen the look on my mother's face, I had a hard time holding back the tears (as I am trying to do now, just thinking about it). It is so hard knowing how much I am disappointing her and how much she wants a grandchild

SumMickey, sometimes I think these RE's are stupid. Now that I think about it, they never shared any lab results with me, except the BFN's and they waited until I got to work to share that (mean old witches).

I wish a new RE would come to town, well it wouldn't actually help me because I have no more money.

DznyLvr2005, for me it is worse for me not being able to get pregnant at all. I would be able to deal with losing a child, because I would at least know I could get pregnant. I could probably even get a little help from my insurance if this was the case.

I don't even feel like a woman much anymore. TMI!!!!! I could care less if I ever have sex again. I want to feel normal again . I want to have a little bit of hope again. I have a bedroom completely full of baby clothes, crib and matching cradle, toys, books, top of the line stroller with matching infant car seat, a car seat for a larger child, and lots of other stuff, all I need is a baby , well and some diapers and wipes . I finally got up the nerve to box up the clothes and I try to avoid going in that room (it was my room when I was a baby until I turned 5 and we moved to my grandmother's house).

Sorry I'm ranting, back to reality and I must get back to work now.

Suzanne

 

[SumMickeyfans]

Heather...thanks for you kind words....

It is so hard knowing how much I am disappointing her and how much she wants a grandchild

Suzanne.....please, please do not think like that!! You are a beautiful strong woman and what is happening to you/us is NOT YOUR FAULT!! Life has dealt us a bad set of cards and you are doing your best!! I am sure your mother understands that. I think you did a good thing by putting away some of those baby things..although I must say I was exactly the same way in the begining. Holy Crap...I can't believe that they never gave you any info about your test results That is the first thing they would always tell/share with me at each appt.

DznyLvr2005....Yes...defintely switch doc's you need one that is going to work with you NOT against you! They are right about Chromosome testing....you will not know anything unless you get tested....BUT...I WISH MY R/E WOULD HAVE TESTED ME FROM THE VERY Begining and not after 3 IVF's and 1,000's of dollars spent!! My other option is D/E. which I have done twice ....1 m/c and one failed. Now I am trying to figure out if I want to "go for it again"...Although I can say that it feels so good not worrying about another IVF right now!!

 

[DznyLvr2005]

DznyLvr2005, for me it is worse for me not being able to get pregnant at all. I would be able to deal with losing a child, because I would at least know I could get pregnant. I could probably even get a little help from my insurance if this was the case.


Suzanne

People have said that to me,but I don't know... I guess I was *lucky* enough to get pregnant twice, the two times I actually tried, I got pregnant, but to lose a pregnancy is just, ughh I can't even explain...
The RN at my MD keeps saying "just be glad you can get pregnant, my DIL has been though so much and 2 years and can't even get pregnant" I don't know, that kinda doesn't take the fact away that I lost 2 babies
It makes me crazy with each time I get pregnant, I already have the thought in my head that I will lose it. I've been having heart palpatations, I can't sleep, I think about being preg. again and my heart races. I'm sure my insuarnace would cover whatever it takes, but the emotional, mental thing will always get in the way of any joy until I'm holding my own baby...
Good luck to you though, I hope it will happen for you

 

[DznyLvr2005]

DznyLvr2005....Yes...defintely switch doc's you need one that is going to work with you NOT against you! They are right about Chromosome testing....you will not know anything unless you get tested....BUT...I WISH MY R/E WOULD HAVE TESTED ME FROM THE VERY Begining and not after 3 IVF's and 1,000's of dollars spent!! My other option is D/E. which I have done twice ....1 m/c and one failed. Now I am trying to figure out if I want to "go for it again"...Although I can say that it feels so good not worrying about another IVF right now!!

I know what you mean... I just wished my MD would do a simple blood progesterone test already! That's where I think the problem is!!!! He always just shrugs it off!!! Especially last time I was preg. the day b4 the miscarriage, my progesterone level was 2!!!! It's supposed to be over 10!!!!!!!!!