Child-free, but not by choice?

[Tiggerlover91]

I want to start off with saying I've been where you all are. BUT dont give up hope thats all I ask. Hubby and I have been married 20 yrs.. we tried for 5 yrs to have children when we first got married. Nothing. Went to through fertility drugs, nothing. Did double fertility drugs and hormones, still nothing. Many drs later and then We went thru 3 specialists and all 3 said to us ... we're sorry we dont know why but you'll never have children. The fertility drugs just arent working. So after many tearful nights, years. We brought ourselves to realize children werent in our future. Spoiled the nieces and nephews as much as we could and treated them like they were our own and cried when we'd get home that it wasnt us. Well the moral of this story is dont ever give up hope and dont always believe what a Dr tells you. We are the proud parents of a 14.5 daughter and a 7 yr old son. The years of fertility drugs and appts never worked but somehow years later I found myself pregnant. I do want to say never give up hope, keep your spirits high.

Beautiful story!

Hi!

Suzanne, I just want to thank you for that warm welcome - its hard to believe that there is somebody out there just like me - thank you thank you for sharing....right now my cousin (who has 6 other kids and is heavy and woman at my work who is also very heavy are both PG!) is PG again, and I couldnt explain the feelings I had when she told me the other day - why cant I just have 1???

Debbie - wow, you have the gift of encouragement! what a story to share! DH and I are coming up on 14 years in October, and my 40th bday is in Dec - I feel like we are running out of time! But I just keep praying - thank you for sharing your story too!!!

What a great place to be - thank you all!

I won't tell you that you will have your first...only g-d knows that.

Congrats on 14 years in Oct. DH and myself celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary in May. We've been together for 19 years and finally decided our life is headed in the right direction, let's bring a little one into it. We are both 38 years old and like you I felt like we better get going. I read stories like yours daily and can't believe how blessed DH and I are. Only took us a short time to conceive and sometime in early December (hopefully earlier) I'll be holding a little one in my arms. Keep that chin up sweetie and just know women our age are having their first everyday. I talked to a lady who I do business with online and she told me that her sister had her first at 42. Says she loves every minute of it too! Stay positive, talk to g-d, and trust him.

Blessings to all of you!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Wendy, it is so nice to have a private place to go to talk to someone just like you.

I had just finished three unsuccessful IUI's in December of 2004, when I found out that my cousin was pregant. She wasn't going to tell us, but she couldn't hide it any more and my mom questioned her until she broke down and told my mom, she said she was afraid I would be mad. D**n right I was and mom told her she better not come around me because I might kill her. She doesn't even have to try to get pregnant, it just seems to happen. This was # 3 and she was married to another man while pregnant with this baby. Well, this baby is 2 now and she is giving her mom heck. Her mother used to tell us that when we had children they were going to be just as bad as we were (we never got along), well she is getting it twofold from this one alone. Her oldest is 9 and has AHDH or ADD, I dont' know which, her second is Austistic (mildly) and this one, well there aren't words, but I am glad she is getting what is long coming to her. Hopefully, she won't have anymore, these three have put a strain on her already bad heart and then I would really have to kill her if she got pregnant again.

It is so sad, I see so many girls (babies having babies) here in the hospital and it is ridiculous. I met with a pt 2 weeks ago and she just delivered baby # 7 and had not had any prenantal care. Of course she had a healthy baby, but the kicker is, she didn't have custody of the other 6 and was probably going to lose custody of this one before she even left the hospital.

Well, I thought 5 years of TTCing was bad, but 14, I know I couldn't do it. I have people tell me all the time, "You have plenty of time", "You are still young". They don't seem to understand the jist of it, they don't understand what we have been through. Until you live it, you don't really know.

I truly don't understand, but apparently no one does, or we wouldn't have these problems. It is all part of lifes vicious cycle I guess.

I better finish my work, but will be back tomorrow.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Wendy, it is so nice to have a private place to go to talk to someone just like you.

I had just finished three unsuccessful IUI's in December of 2004, when I found out that my cousin was pregant. She wasn't going to tell us, but she couldn't hide it any more and my mom questioned her until she broke down and told my mom, she said she was afraid I would be mad. D**n right I was and mom told her she better not come around me because I might kill her. She doesn't even have to try to get pregnant, it just seems to happen. This was # 3 and she was married to another man while pregnant with this baby. Well, this baby is 2 now and she is giving her mom heck. Her mother used to tell us that when we had children they were going to be just as bad as we were (we never got along), well she is getting it twofold from this one alone. Her oldest is 9 and has AHDH or ADD, I dont' know which, her second is Austistic (mildly) and this one, well there aren't words, but I am glad she is getting what is long coming to her. Hopefully, she won't have anymore, these three have put a strain on her already bad heart and then I would really have to kill her if she got pregnant again.

It is so sad, I see so many girls (babies having babies) here in the hospital and it is ridiculous. I met with a pt 2 weeks ago and she just delivered baby # 7 and had not had any prenantal care. Of course she had a healthy baby, but the kicker is, she didn't have custody of the other 6 and was probably going to lose custody of this one before she even left the hospital.

Well, I thought 5 years of TTCing was bad, but 14, I know I couldn't do it. I have people tell me all the time, "You have plenty of time", "You are still young". They don't seem to understand the jist of it, they don't understand what we have been through. Until you live it, you don't really know.

I truly don't understand, but apparently no one does, or we wouldn't have these problems. It is all part of lifes vicious cycle I guess.

I better finish my work, but will be back tomorrow.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Beautiful story!

Hello friend , How are you? and the baby? I have been meaning to PM you, but life has been crazy for me lately.

Suzanne

 

[billwendy]

Hi -

Denise - thanks so much - Oh boy do I have trust in Him!!! He will only give me as much as I can handle - so He knows best - I just dont understand, but thats okay too!!! lol!!!

Suzanne - it is soooo cool to talk to you too - wow!! I work at a hospital in Wilmington DE - duPont Hospital for Children - and get this - some of the "kids" have "kids" in the NICU nursery!!! hows that!!!???? crazy huh - well, 13 years goes by really quick! and here I am - I am totally known as the "kid" person - I am a Sunday School teacher in the 4-5 year olds, I am a pediatric occupational therapist, I am the one who all the kids gather around at any type of picnic or party - pretty much I am a big kid myself!! But I feel like everyone looks at us thinking - why haven't they had any kids???? I dont like to talk about this with anyone - not even my mom - but with you and our other friends here I feel safe to share - maybe its because I can answer while tearing up and nobody knows??????

Hey Guys its almost the weekend!!!! I saw Hairspray tonight - I didnt know that Zac Ephron was in it!!! I cant wait for HS musical 2 - lol - I warned you I was a kid at heart!!! I am also a disney lover - We are going right after Labor Day for Night of Joy and possibly again for New Years to celebrate my bday!!!! we will see!!! anyone else have a trip planned?

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Hello friend , How are you? and the baby? I have been meaning to PM you, but life has been crazy for me lately.

Suzanne

I JUST PMd you Suzanne! I am very well and felt the baby move for the first time Monday night...and I didn't mistake it for gas. I have a belly shot of myself that I would love to share with you if you're interested. I'll send it to you by way of PM instead of posting here so I don't upset anyone. Looking to hear from you by way of PM whenever you have time.

Denise

 

[hematite153]

Greetings Wendy! Join in, this is a good group to vent, get info/support, etc.

Suzanne: I suspect it's not a fun story, but I look forward to reading the "full story" when you're ready to tell it. I'm glad you're back to your regular schedule and that you're going back to Disney in Dec. I'm a DVC member, but I've never stayed at OKW so I can't really give you much advice there. One thing I might say though is that people often talk about asking to be near the main pool because of walking distances (it doesn't seem long to me compared to the parks but others get very upset about walking at the resort). But, if you'll have ECVs, then you could look at maps and ask for a quiet area further away. I'll be in wdw in Sept. and Jan. It's fun to plan, isn't it?

 

[billwendy]

Hi -
I love to plan!!!

Do you guys think the ticket prices tomorrow are going to be alot? we are trying to decide if we should buy a 10 day park hopper with no expiration or just get tickets when we are on each trip....ugh!!!!

we went to a wedding today, and our cousin just found out she is having her 7th child - well, I just couldnt stand to hear one more person congratulate her!THere was just person after person coming up and hugging her and teasing her about having 1 going off to college and another one on the way!!! Not that I am not happy for her or anything like that - i love her kids - but the eyes started watering and I just had to go outside the church to take a walk - ugh!!!!

 

[debbiet1]

Great BIG hugssssssssss for you Wendy!!

 

[billwendy]

Awwwww - thank you - I really appreciate that!!!

 

[Tiggerlover91]

we went to a wedding today, and our cousin just found out she is having her 7th child - well, I just couldnt stand to hear one more person congratulate her!THere was just person after person coming up and hugging her and teasing her about having 1 going off to college and another one on the way!!! Not that I am not happy for her or anything like that - i love her kids - but the eyes started watering and I just had to go outside the church to take a walk - ugh!!!!

I'm keeping the faith for you.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

OH Wendy, I am soooo sorry , but I can completely relate, I have been there many times. I don't have that problem much anymore, because I have so much on my plate right now, I don't have much time to think about it.

Suzanne

 

[billwendy]

 

[debbiet1]

I was there many times also.. Hope your day is going well

 

[poohbearwithme]

sorry posted twice...

 

[poohbearwithme]

Just wanted to put my two cents into pot hope nobody minds:
I myself have been on the infertity wagon. I went though many major surgeries and even many more minor surgeries just to get to the point so my body would be able to carry a baby if I did get PG. I won't even open the hormone treatment can of worms. I didn't know I could be so moody Well my fight ended in Oct. 2001 not because I got PG but because I had to have an emergency hestorectomy. My heart and prayers go out to all of you trying because I know first hand the toll it can take on you both physically and emotionally. Hope flows eternal... Just remember not to always look at the monthly visitor as another month of proof your not PG but sometimes see it as sign that your fight is not over yet. Your ovaries are still on the production line. Best wishes and luck to all of you.
God Bless

 

[MicheleMal]

Hi to all the ladies on this board. How I came across this thread is totally beyond me. But I will tell you this, please do not give up hope of your dreams of having a child. My DH and I tried for years and years...went to several dr's, did several rounds of the *minor* fert drugs (glucophage, clomid, etc) and everywhere we turned we got the same answer "we don't know why...." So, then out of the blue. I got pg. Wasn't even trying that month. I went to the dr, had an US, heard the HB..the whole thing. I shouted it from the rooftops that it was finally MY turn. Well, it didn't turn out so great...3 days later I ended up in the hospital and had a miscarriage. Three more miscarriages followed over the next 5 years. By this time, we had been married for 14 years.
We started the adoption process, and decided to go to China to find our daughter. The day our dossier landed in China (to the tune of 7 months of work and about $10,000 in fees) we found out we were pg again. We called our agency and told them we were pg, which means you have to put your adoption on hold, but they didn't require us to go on hold b/c with us, just because we were pg didn't mean we would have a baby.
So, time passed, and I continued to stay pg. My other pregnancies ended at 13 weeks, 16 weeks, 12 weeks, and 17 weeks....but by the time I got to 24 weeks (when the baby is survivable) I still refused to believe that it was finally happening to me. Well, to make a long story short, He had a plan for us, it didn't include China, and my DS was born completely healthy at 38.5 weeks and weighed in at 10 lbs. He is now 4 1/2 and we are planning our first trip to the World in 30 days. We have since had 2 more MC's and we are now officially done---can't take the heartache anymore. I am so blessed and I would do it all over again if I had to.
So, keep the faith, and although you may not know what the plan is, HE does. You will find out, you just have to be patient.
Hugs to all you brave women out there. You're my sisters. I feel your pain.
Michele

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi to all the ladies on this board. How I came across this thread is totally beyond me. But I will tell you this, please do not give up hope of your dreams of having a child. My DH and I tried for years and years...went to several dr's, did several rounds of the *minor* fert drugs (glucophage, clomid, etc) and everywhere we turned we got the same answer "we don't know why...." So, then out of the blue. I got pg. Wasn't even trying that month. I went to the dr, had an US, heard the HB..the whole thing. I shouted it from the rooftops that it was finally MY turn. Well, it didn't turn out so great...3 days later I ended up in the hospital and had a miscarriage. Three more miscarriages followed over the next 5 years. By this time, we had been married for 14 years.
We started the adoption process, and decided to go to China to find our daughter. The day our dossier landed in China (to the tune of 7 months of work and about $10,000 in fees) we found out we were pg again. We called our agency and told them we were pg, which means you have to put your adoption on hold, but they didn't require us to go on hold b/c with us, just because we were pg didn't mean we would have a baby.
So, time passed, and I continued to stay pg. My other pregnancies ended at 13 weeks, 16 weeks, 12 weeks, and 17 weeks....but by the time I got to 24 weeks (when the baby is survivable) I still refused to believe that it was finally happening to me. Well, to make a long story short, He had a plan for us, it didn't include China, and my DS was born completely healthy at 38.5 weeks and weighed in at 10 lbs. He is now 4 1/2 and we are planning our first trip to the World in 30 days. We have since had 2 more MC's and we are now officially done---can't take the heartache anymore. I am so blessed and I would do it all over again if I had to.
So, keep the faith, and although you may not know what the plan is, HE does. You will find out, you just have to be patient.
Hugs to all you brave women out there. You're my sisters. I feel your pain.
Michele

Thank you for sharing your encouraging story.

Suzanne

 

[billwendy]

wow - what an encouragement!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Just wanted to put my two cents into pot hope nobody minds:
I myself have been on the infertity wagon. I went though many major surgeries and even many more minor surgeries just to get to the point so my body would be able to carry a baby if I did get PG. I won't even open the hormone treatment can of worms. I didn't know I could be so moody Well my fight ended in Oct. 2001 not because I got PG but because I had to have an emergency hestorectomy. My heart and prayers go out to all of you trying because I know first hand the toll it can take on you both physically and emotionally. Hope flows eternal... Just remember not to always look at the monthly visitor as another month of proof your not PG but sometimes see it as sign that your fight is not over yet. Your ovaries are still on the production line. Best wishes and luck to all of you.
God Bless

Thank you for sharing your story. Although I have given up, I haven't really given up, but it sure makes life easier. I feel a bit of freedom I haven't felt in awhile.

Suzanne