Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[WDWguru]

That's funny to me because I am exactly the opposite. I don't have patience for any kids except for my own.

You are NOT alone! My mom has told me the same exact thing. She never much liked any kids but me and my sister, which probably explains why MY house was never the one all the neighborhood kids ended up hanging out in.

 

[LisaZee]

Actually, no, I never wanted children. My DH always wanted children. I didn't change my mind until I was 35, and my mother died. It occurred to me then how much of our relationship was as adults, and that the kid years I was dreading are a small fraction of an overall life.

So, I changed my mind.

Jodi, what was it like to start at 35? I admit there are times that having kids crosses my mind (ever BRIEFLY!), but I can't imagine starting now (I'll be 35 in September.) I keep thinking I could be almost DONE by now, why START now? Was it hard? A big adjustment? Or did you figure that you and DH had gotten the alone time out of your systems?

I sometimes tell the spouse that what if we are enjoying all of our "us" time now and that in ten years we are sick of ourselves and need a distraction?

 

[nephthys43]

hi all! just wanted to stop in. i usually lurk, but i've decided to say hi!

i'm 30, childfree and just got my IUD last wednesday. hopefully, by the time it has to come out i'll have convinced my doctor to give me a tubal.

 

[Aunt Michelle]

hi all! just wanted to stop in. i usually lurk, but i've decided to say hi!

i'm 30, childfree and just got my IUD last wednesday. hopefully, by the time it has to come out i'll have convinced my doctor to give me a tubal.

How the heck did you convince your doctor to give you an IUD? I've tried and tried and each time I'm told no because I haven't had any children. I'd love to know your secret... or your doctor!

 

[LisaZee]

How the heck did you convince your doctor to give you an IUD? I've tried and tried and each time I'm told no because I haven't had any children. I'd love to know your secret... or your doctor!

I second this! I have been trying to find a gynie that will give me one for years! The last one said, and I quote "You'll never find a doctor willing to put one in, so you may as well stop asking."

What are the magic words to say? You are my hero!

 

[Fitswimmer]

How the heck did you convince your doctor to give you an IUD? I've tried and tried and each time I'm told no because I haven't had any children. I'd love to know your secret... or your doctor!

I had to wait until I was in my mid 40's to get rid of the equipment, and that's only because I had a volleyball sized ovarian cyst!

It was actually funny. In the pre-op discussion, the surgeon tries to delicately raise the issue of removing the uterus along with the cyst and the ovary and while he's gently dancing around the subject I inject: "You mean you'll take it out while you're in there? Good Lord, I thought nobody would EVER ask if I wanted that thing out. " He was a little shocked at first, then we both laughed about it. My only regret, and I'm serious-was that my perfectly good organ couldn't be given to someone who really wanted to use it to bear children. It seems a shame to me that there I sat for years with a baby making machine that I had no interest in using while there are women who are out there wanting babies who have parts that don't work.

 

[goofygirl]

wow, don't get me wrong i love my dtr more then life, but.........
in the next life if i remember i will take parenting into strong consideration.

Hey HappyLawyer, how are ya??

You ARE really happy, right?

 

[goofygirl]

hi all! just wanted to stop in. i usually lurk, but i've decided to say hi!

i'm 30, childfree and just got my IUD last wednesday. hopefully, by the time it has to come out i'll have convinced my doctor to give me a tubal.

Glad you delurked!! Hi!

What do you all think of baby showers? Do you like 'em, or avpid them like the plague?

 

[nephthys43]

i just went in there and told them the truth. i am too selfish for children. but i also had all the facts i needed. i knew exactly what i wanted (mirena). knew how it worked. knew that there is a higher expulsion rate for women who have never had children... etc...

if you know all there is to know about an IUD and you tell them it's this or a tubal, they usually agree. do not waver. go in there confident and sure of yourself. never say 'maybe'.

 

[nephthys43]

Glad you delurked!! Hi!

What do you all think of baby showers? Do you like 'em, or avpid them like the plague?

i don't mind em. as long as they don't go overboard with the mushiness. oh the cute widdle pwecious one!!!

heck, i actually like some kids. i just don't want my own after practically raising my nephew. he's eight now and i want to wring his neck most of the time. like tonight. aaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!

 

[nephthys43]

oh... and women drs are usually more responsive to giving you an IUD.

if anyone wants the mirena form i can get you one. you just have to get your dr to agree to do it and have them fill out their part. maybe if you go in with the paper, they'll see that you're serious.

 

[PhotobearSam]

I was lucky...I had huge mood swings on the pill and Depoprevera(Spelling) brought on a huge depression and weight gain.

I was at my wits end when DH suggested a Vasectomy. We were engaged and I was 29 and he was 32. The doctor did his duty to try to talk him out of it a bit but I guess DH was really strong with his decision.

It was my present for my 29th birthday...Vasectomy, the gift that DOES not go on giving.... It's been my favourite Birthday gift EVER!!!

 

[LisaZee]

Glad you delurked!! Hi!

What do you all think of baby showers? Do you like 'em, or avpid them like the plague?

Ah, baby showers... I am not a goo-goo'er. I don't think all onesies are cute. I don't understand why today's moms need heated diaper wipes when a cold wipie was fine for my booty many moons ago. I am not a fan. Plus, the talk eventually turns to "So, when are YOU going to have a baby, Lisa? It's your turn, you know!"

Plus, and OMG this is going to sound awful, and I am really not an awful person - but to me, they mean shelling out money I'm never going to get back. There, I said it. Now, don't get me wrong, if it's for family or someone I'm really close to, I'll reluctantly go and I'm happy to give a gift (most of the time). I am mainly referring to showers for acquaintances or co-workers.

And I know there's a thread out there about showers for subsequent kids (not just the first), and that kills me to. At my old job, I was there 4 years and one lady had 2 kids in that time period. And we had "showers" for her for both. Did I mention that these were kids number 4 and 5! Now, you know you're fertile, save your baby stuff! You KNOW you'll be using it again! Grr.

 

[Suzibrat]

I have lurked and lurked on this thread long enough....thank you so much for those that have posted here. It is a welcome sight for my childless eyes !
DH and I decided long long ago that we didn't want any children. (I wouldn't have kids with my first husband because I couldn't bear the thought of bringing more stupid people into the world ) With our lifestyle (motorcycles, tattoos, and extremely heavy metal music) we knew that having kids to please others would be a train wreck waiting to happen. For the longest time I used to get upset when I got the "you have NO kids?????" questions until I started answering with "yeah, I had 4 and gave them away as Christmas presents!" (not true but it shuts the other person right up!) When people are showing baby pictures I'm the one going "do you have any pictures of your dog or cat?"
We have 2 dogs and a cat who are treated like children. My little dog is a long haired Mini Dachshund that just happens to love being dressed so i get my fix as far as that goes. My friend has often told me that as much as she loves her kids she envies me for the peace and quiet in our house and the fact that we can do anything we want, anywhere we want, in the house, without little eyes watching us! It's a wonderful life!

 

[goofygirl]

Ah, baby showers... I am not a goo-goo'er. I don't think all onesies are cute. I don't understand why today's moms need heated diaper wipes when a cold wipie was fine for my booty many moons ago. I am not a fan. Plus, the talk eventually turns to "So, when are YOU going to have a baby, Lisa? It's your turn, you know!"

Plus, and OMG this is going to sound awful, and I am really not an awful person - but to me, they mean shelling out money I'm never going to get back. There, I said it. Now, don't get me wrong, if it's for family or someone I'm really close to, I'll reluctantly go and I'm happy to give a gift (most of the time). I am mainly referring to showers for acquaintances or co-workers.

And I know there's a thread out there about showers for subsequent kids (not just the first), and that kills me to. At my old job, I was there 4 years and one lady had 2 kids in that time period. And we had "showers" for her for both. Did I mention that these were kids number 4 and 5! Now, you know you're fertile, save your baby stuff! You KNOW you'll be using it again! Grr.

I totally agree!
I was inspired by the topic about 2nd baby showers that was recently on the board. At work we have an unwritten rule that you get ONE shower and that's it! That goes for baby as well as wedding showers.
Maybe you should have given that lady at work condoms for her shower gift, LOL!

HEATED diaper wipes?? Good lord, I didn't know there was such a thing!

If I do go to a shower, it's really for the food. I'm being honest- that's why I really go!

 

[Dee & Greg]

When one of my friends got pregnant, I "volunteered" to have the baby shower... but MY way. She was the only one of the "group" to have a baby, so I could only entice the other women to come if we did a "sex and the city" version... remember the episode where the girls drove to CT for the baby shower? Well, we watched that episode, had cocktails, and lots of food, and then opened gifts. NO baby games! Thank goodness my friend is not one of THOSE Mothers.. who worship at the alter of the child, and where everything revolves around the precious one. Actually her little boy is almost 3, and he's very well behaved and friendly with everyone.

 

[Aunt Michelle]

i just went in there and told them the truth. i am too selfish for children. but i also had all the facts i needed. i knew exactly what i wanted (mirena). knew how it worked. knew that there is a higher expulsion rate for women who have never had children... etc...

if you know all there is to know about an IUD and you tell them it's this or a tubal, they usually agree. do not waver. go in there confident and sure of yourself. never say 'maybe'.

I've tried that route, but I've never had a female doctor. I'm single and apparently to my doctors it means I don't have enough sense to make these kind of decisions. I actually had a doctor (a pretty young one) say "when you find yourself in a committed relationship, you'll change your mind."

I was lucky...I had huge mood swings on the pill and Depoprevera(Spelling) brought on a huge depression and weight gain.

I was at my wits end when DH suggested a Vasectomy. We were engaged and I was 29 and he was 32. The doctor did his duty to try to talk him out of it a bit but I guess DH was really strong with his decision.

It was my present for my 29th birthday...Vasectomy, the gift that DOES not go on giving.... It's been my favourite Birthday gift EVER!!!

I think it's great that you and your husband are on the same page. Also great that his doctor listened to him! More doctors should listen to their patients.

I have lurked and lurked on this thread long enough....thank you so much for those that have posted here. It is a welcome sight for my childless eyes ! We have 2 dogs and a cat who are treated like children. My little dog is a long haired Mini Dachshund that just happens to love being dressed so i get my fix as far as that goes. My friend has often told me that as much as she loves her kids she envies me for the peace and quiet in our house and the fact that we can do anything we want, anywhere we want, in the house, without little eyes watching us! It's a wonderful life!

Welcome! Your posted reminded me of how great my parents have been, which might be directly related to the fact that they have 8 grandchildren, but my mom has one of those necklaces where she has the little girl and boy charms with the grandchildrens birthstones. Does everyone know those? Well, come to find out you can get little cat and dog charms as well! My mom sports two cat charms representing my two girl cats.

I totally agree!
I was inspired by the topic about 2nd baby showers that was recently on the board. At work we have an unwritten rule that you get ONE shower and that's it! That goes for baby as well as wedding showers.
Maybe you should have given that lady at work condoms for her shower gift, LOL!

HEATED diaper wipes?? Good lord, I didn't know there was such a thing!

If I do go to a shower, it's really for the food. I'm being honest- that's why I really go!

Baby showers.. I am so lucky! My sisters had one for their first, and then we had an "after baby" shower for the sister who had the only boy! My friends are all spread out and done with their families, AND I home office so there are never any co-worker ones! Aren't I awful??

Further evidence that I am awful... we have two family vacations this year - May, WDW with Sister #2s family, and September, VB with Sister #1s family - I booked my own room for each! They both have said "we have plenty of room, you can stay with us." Which, is technically true as we have two-bedroom accomodations for them. However, I'd end up sleeping on the pull-out sofa in the living room, waking up when the first child rises, and sharing a bathroom with the kids! Uncomfortable, too early, and no privacy... sound like a vacation? I told them we would all be happier if I had my own room!

 

[nephthys43]

How the heck did you convince your doctor to give you an IUD? I've tried and tried and each time I'm told no because I haven't had any children. I'd love to know your secret... or your doctor!

well... unless you wanna trek up to jersey, we'll have to find you one down there. i don't know how close this guy is to you, but he's all for sterilization. DR. R. DAVID BEATY
Habersham OB/GYN Associates
870A Austin Dr., Demorest, GA 30535
706-754-3997

 

[goofygirl]

I'd like to know where to get girl cat charms! That's so cute!

 

[Aunt Michelle]

well... unless you wanna trek up to jersey, we'll have to find you one down there. i don't know how close this guy is to you, but he's all for sterilization. DR. R. DAVID BEATY
Habersham OB/GYN Associates
870A Austin Dr., Demorest, GA 30535
706-754-3997

That's actually pretty close to where I am going to build my new house! Of course, I am in the middle of one of my "I don't need men" phases.

I'd like to know where to get girl cat charms! That's so cute!

Here's what some of them look like:

http://www.jewelkids.com/Categories12.asp?CatID=1886807663

http://www.pacodesigns.com/ns/productdetail.cfm?PID=2148