Chauvinistic co-worker

[ronandannette]

Co-worker is in his 50's and the girl he was referring to is around 22 or 23.

I do agree that there is a lot worse things he could have said. For some reason today, it just struck me the wrong way. And no, I'm certainly not running off to HR with it or anything.

There aren't enough hours in a day to be bothered by such a little thing. Really - this is beyond trivial.

 

[sam_gordon]

I was talking to a coworker on the phone about a year ago. He wanted me to get something from another coworker. I recognized the name but couldn't place her... his response: "the drop dead gorgeous one".

He was right.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yep, that is 'chauvenistic'.
Especially in a work/professional environment.
No question.
(But, keep reading until you get to the bolded below before you jump to any conclusions about my take on this!)

I am really big on women's issues...
We are not all THAT far from, for example, 100 years ago, or today in Middle Eastern Countries. And, I am not sure that many women in this country today really realize that.

So, IMHO, that is beyond 'chauvenistic', given that this was in a professional work environment.

I can't help but think, what would a black person think about similar semantics that could be applied to race instead of gender.
Wow.....
But, there are those who are resigned to say that this is 'okay', and 'just the way it is' when it comes to women.

However, as covered as the topic of a recent thread...
People have different views and opinions.
I will say again, what I said then.

If I am offended every time someody has a different viewpoint or opinion than I do...
If I am all wounded and 'mortally offended' every time something is not exactly as I think it should be. (which I believe can be called Falling On Knives)
Then I ( or anyone ) could spend most every day for the rest of our lives being all wounded and angry.

I think folks might be wise to choose their battles.

PS: I see a very huge, huge, difference between 'cute little gal', and 'drop dead gorgeous'.

 

[tina.tina]

Dear OP, perhaps there are other issues about the co-worker that bother you??? because this really doesn't seem like a big deal in general. If the co-worker is creepy, that's a different story. Sometimes you get a creepy feeling from someone and it's hard to explain.

 

[LBIJim]

Co-worker is in his 50's and the girl he was referring to is around 22 or 23.

I do agree that there is a lot worse things he could have said. For some reason today, it just struck me the wrong way. And no, I'm certainly not running off to HR with it or anything.

If what he said struck you the wrong way, why are you referring to the 22 or 23 year old female employee as a "girl"?

 

[Julylady]

I am a professional woman in my mid50's. It would be considered inappropriate in my workplace. Both the "cute" and the "gal." I supervise 3 men and 4 women, all who have the same job title. If one of the men referred to a female coworker using that term, I wouldn't let it go.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Clicked on this thread hoping for something really offensive.

Ended up with use of the term "cute gal".

Now I'm disappointed.

 

[Waddler]

I hear older men refer to young women like that from time to time in my workplace. Depending on who says it, I'd consider it mildly inappropriate to diminutive and a little creepy.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I don't find it offensive. I would actually appreciate it if somebody said that about me

 

[mom2rtk]

I was talking to a coworker on the phone about a year ago. He wanted me to get something from another coworker. I recognized the name but couldn't place her... his response: "the drop dead gorgeous one".

He was right.

I'm reporting you!

 

[SnowFuries]

The problem with asking a public forum an opinion like this is that we are missing a lot of info. Asking if that is the "cute girl," to another co-worker that you know well isn't a big deal. I hear ladies giggling to their friends in professional environments about this or that "hot/cute guy" and some of these women are married. Either men or women doing it grates my nerves because I feel like they probably should have better things to do than participate in middle school reruns.

The OP actually knows this person and has gauged some kind of opinion on his person based on witnessing other ways he has conducted himself. While I don't think the statement is a big deal after reading it on this thread, I was not there and I do not know this person. All of which, could change my opinion and make it a huge deal.

I remember being at a Mexican restaurant and a waiter kept calling me "girl" not "chica" It is common to hear a spanish speaker (at least where I live) tack on "chica" when they are talking but this was different. His tone and actions made me very uncomfortable and something usually "innocent" became condescending and NOT OK. This sounds like an example of just such a thing.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

As I'm sitting here working, I overheard one of my co-workers talking to a mailroom person. The mail clerk was trying to locate a person on our floor and I heard co-worker ask him, "Oh, is that the cute gal down the hall?"

Normally, I don't comment on anything people talk about around me, but I couldn't help but say something on that one. I asked him if we suddenly went back to 1950 or something. He had no idea that it was even remotely offensive to refer to a colleague as a "cute gal".

Seriously, it should not have bothered you enough to interject yourself into their conversation and correct another co-worker. I find your actions more offensive than "cute gal"

 

[Missy1961]

If what he said struck you the wrong way, why are you referring to the 22 or 23 year old female employee as a "girl"?

I had the same thought.

Oh, and OP: just because the guy is 50-something doesn't mean it isn't a crush. Trust me, I'm old and I still crush on cute members of the opposite sex. I just don't say it out loud anymore.

 

[sam_gordon]

I can't help but think, what would a black person think about similar semantics that could be applied to race instead of gender.
Wow.....
But, there are those who are resigned to say that this is 'okay', and 'just the way it is' when it comes to women.

I wondered if that would come up. So if you and a coworker are talking about another coworker, but you're not sure who's being referred to, it would be racist for your coworker to say "he's black"?

I do agree with PP, there may be something more to the story, but all we have to go on is what's presented. I know often on the Dis we'll make assumptions to possibly explain someone's actions, but I don't think there's even enough to make assumptions here.

Yep, that is 'chauvenistic'.

BTW... under what definition? From http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chauvinism

Full Definition of CHAUVINISM
1
: excessive or blind patriotism — compare jingoism
2
: undue partiality or attachment to a group or place to which one belongs or has belonged
3
: an attitude of superiority toward members of the opposite sex; also : behavior expressive of such an attitude

I don't see using "cute gal" as an attitude of superiority.

 

[Disneylover99]

I don't see using "cute gal" as an attitude of superiority.

It's a compliment.

 

[Skywalker]

Doesn't seem chauvinistic to me.

 

[Dawnlight]

Horrible, just horrible I tell you!

It's almost as bad as the time I went to Disney and had cast members calling me and my girls princesses! Gah!!!

 

[mickman1962]

This is what you worry about?

 

[kaytieeldr]

I'm reporting you!

To whom?

 

[goofyintoronto]

Yep, that is 'chauvenistic'.
Especially in a work/professional environment.
No question.
(But, keep reading until you get to the bolded below before you jump to any conclusions about my take on this!)

I am really big on women's issues...
We are not all THAT far from, for example, 100 years ago, or today in Middle Eastern Countries. And, I am not sure that many women in this country today really realize that.

So, IMHO, that is beyond 'chauvenistic', given that this was in a professional work environment.

I can't help but think, what would a black person think about similar semantics that could be applied to race instead of gender.
Wow.....
But, there are those who are resigned to say that this is 'okay', and 'just the way it is' when it comes to women.

However, as covered as the topic of a recent thread...
People have different views and opinions.
I will say again, what I said then.

If I am offended every time someody has a different viewpoint or opinion than I do...
If I am all wounded and 'mortally offended' every time something is not exactly as I think it should be. (which I believe can be called Falling On Knives)
Then I ( or anyone ) could spend most every day for the rest of our lives being all wounded and angry.

I think folks might be wise to choose their battles.

PS: I see a very huge, huge, difference between 'cute little gal', and 'drop dead gorgeous'.

Um, what the what!??!?!?