Chauvinistic co-worker

[BSmithington]

Yep, that is 'chauvenistic'.
Especially in a work/professional environment.
No question.
(But, keep reading until you get to the bolded below before you jump to any conclusions about my take on this!)

I am really big on women's issues...
We are not all THAT far from, for example, 100 years ago, or today in Middle Eastern Countries. And, I am not sure that many women in this country today really realize that.

So, IMHO, that is beyond 'chauvenistic', given that this was in a professional work environment.

I can't help but think, what would a black person think about similar semantics that could be applied to race instead of gender.
Wow.....
But, there are those who are resigned to say that this is 'okay', and 'just the way it is' when it comes to women.

However, as covered as the topic of a recent thread...
People have different views and opinions.
I will say again, what I said then.

If I am offended every time someody has a different viewpoint or opinion than I do...
If I am all wounded and 'mortally offended' every time something is not exactly as I think it should be. (which I believe can be called Falling On Knives)
Then I ( or anyone ) could spend most every day for the rest of our lives being all wounded and angry.

I think folks might be wise to choose their battles.

PS: I see a very huge, huge, difference between 'cute little gal', and 'drop dead gorgeous'.

So many red flags here. SO MANY FLAGS!

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

As I'm sitting here working, I overheard one of my co-workers talking to a mailroom person. The mail clerk was trying to locate a person on our floor and I heard co-worker ask him, "Oh, is that the cute gal down the hall?"

Normally, I don't comment on anything people talk about around me, but I couldn't help but say something on that one. I asked him if we suddenly went back to 1950 or something. He had no idea that it was even remotely offensive to refer to a colleague as a "cute gal".

Your comment to him was out of line and you should apologize. There is absolutely nothing offensive with what he said.

 

[Happy Snowman]

I guess I don't see the issue either....

 

[kaytieeldr]

Um, what the what!??!?!?

Assuming you're not questioning the potentially only misspelling of the word 'chauvinistic'? Who knows? Blather, blather, blather.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Oh wow, here we go again.
Jeez.....
Are we on the level of middle-school aged kids on facebook here???

Yes, IMHO, that that is 'chauvinistic'. And there are no questions or personal attacks that will change that.
I believe that this is a reasonable and credible opinion, coming from a petite woman, who could just possibly have been considered 'cute'.
In the workplace, I considered myself to be an intelligent, college educated, capable, and mature, member of the staff.

While I think the OP is way, way, over-reacting.... Apparantly, I am not the only one who seems to have this opinion. As an intelligent and educated and adult person in the workplace, I do feel that this is, without question, chauvinistic.
And that this does show an 'attitude of superiority'.

"Cute gal", or girl, is something that belongs in social settings.
Definitely at a school-aged level.
Not something to be applied, openly, in the workplace, by one older mature man, to another employee.

And, about the other post above, directly mis-quoting and digging at my comments.
No, it is not wrong to refer to somebody as 'black'. (NOT even close to what I posted)
No more wrong than saying, the woman with red hair.
Or any other basic physical descriptor.

I am having a hard time coming up with a good example here, so maybe this is kind of over-kill.
(something else for you guys to jump all over.... so have at it!)
But, there is a huge difference between referring to somebody as 'the black woman' and 'Aunt Jemima',

 

[Dawnlight]

OP- I'm wondering what descriptors are okay with you.

I see "cute" as being a positive thing. Are positive descriptors not allowed if made by someone of the opposite sex. Would it have been okay if a lesbian had used that descriptor? Or is the "gal" that's more offensive? Is "guy" just as offensive?

I'm so confused.

Which of these, if any, would be considered wrong by OP?

- guy with the long beard
- girl with the curly hair
- woman with the nose ring
- man the toupee
- dude with the neck tattoo
- gal with the blue hair
- guy that wears a kippah
- girl that wears a headscarf


Are all of those okay or can one find offense in some of those as well?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Assuming you're not questioning the potentially only misspelling of the word 'chauvinistic'?

Ohhh, it is aways so nice when one has to resort to an occasional typo or spelling error to find any real reason to go after another poster.
Great Job!

 

[DisneyChula]

My boss refers to women of all ages as gals quite often. She is a woman and definitely is not using the term in a negative way. It is a description of the person she is referring to. So is it chauvinistic because it was a man saying it? Is it because he combined the word gal with the word cute? I think that it really depends on the context. Jumping to the assumption that he was using the term in a derogatory way is unfair.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Dawnlight, you asked what I might find to be offensive.
And, AGAIN, I am not offended.

But, yes, I do feel like the term 'cute gal' is chauvinistic and not appropriate when used openly in the workplace.

This was the question that the OP was asking,
They asked for our opinion.
And, I answered that with my personal opinion.

PS: just personally, most of the examples you gave might be perfectly fine, with a change to a word or two.

 

[soccerdad72]

This is what you worry about?

Just yesterday. I've moved on to worrying about other things now.

 

[Wishing on a star]

My boss refers to women of all ages as gals quite often. She is woman and definitely is not using the term in a negative way. It is a description of the person she is referring to. So is it chauvinistic because it was a man saying it? Is it because he combined the word gal with the word cute? I think that it really depends on the context. Jumping to the assumption that he was using the term in a derogatory way is unfair.

TRUE!!!!!

I am going by the fact that the OP had such a clear and negative reaction.
As well as the fact that this was used by an older mature man in reference to a young woman.

I know I shouldn't make assumptions!
But, I think I was probably making some assumptions based on these facts.

Are older men more chauvinistic than younger men???
Hhhhhmmmm?

 

[Wishing on a star]

I also do not always do not see chauvinistic as always being derogatory!

 

[sam_gordon]

And, about the other post above, directly mis-quoting and digging at my comments.
No, it is not wrong to refer to somebody as 'black'. (NOT even close to what I posted)
No more wrong than saying, the woman with red hair.
Or any other basic physical descriptor.

You're obviously referring to me. Please explain how I "misquoted" you? YOU wondered "what a black person would think". I wanted you to elaborate. You can't come up with a good example. Saying someone is "cute" or a "gal" is not a slur. I would like to know what you feel would be "similar semantics" when referring to a black coworker. It seems you can't come up with a good comparison, so why bring race into it?

FWIW, I feel "cute" and "gal" ARE basic physical descriptors.

I'll also say I don't see how you see these words as expressing an "attitude of superiority".

 

[Wishing on a star]

Again, I do not always think that chauvinistic is always a 'slur' or derogatory.

I did mention 'semantics', and not just the work 'black'.
I wasn't wanting to jump right into using some of the actual words or semantics, for the obvious reasons.

I also understand how we could have a difference in views on whether this would be an attitude of superiority!

As a petite, and once younger, female.
I'll stay with my own personal viewpoint on that!

 

[NFLDERS]

So many red flags here. SO MANY FLAGS!

.

 

[Wishing on a star]

You guys are really starting to crack me up here!!!!!

Must be some kind of fascination with the color red.

 

[JanaDee]

"A hot piece of tail" is derogatory and chauvinistic.

"Cute gal" doesn't even make the radar.

 

[Dawnlight]

A person can be intelligent, capable, dedicated and cute. Being intelligent, capable, and dedicated are personal characteristics; they can not be seen. The cute gal was described by her physical attributes which can be seen. I can't imagine someone trying to describe a person as "The capable woman who works in HR".

Again, is it only offensive because it was said by an older man? Would it be okay for a middle-aged woman to use that descriptor in reference to a younger woman? Would it be okay for any-aged lesbian to use that descriptor in reference to any-aged woman co-worker?

 

[goofyintoronto]

Oh wow, here we go again.
Jeez.....
Are we on the level of middle-school aged kids on facebook here???

Yes, IMHO, that that is 'chauvinistic'. And there are no questions or personal attacks that will change that.
I believe that this is a reasonable and credible opinion, coming from a petite woman, who could just possibly have been considered 'cute'.
In the workplace, I considered myself to be an intelligent, college educated, capable, and mature, member of the staff.

While I think the OP is way, way, over-reacting.... Apparantly, I am not the only one who seems to have this opinion. As an intelligent and educated and adult person in the workplace, I do feel that this is, without question, chauvinistic.
And that this does show an 'attitude of superiority'.

"Cute gal", or girl, is something that belongs in social settings.
Definitely at a school-aged level.
Not something to be applied, openly, in the workplace, by one older mature man, to another employee.

And, about the other post above, directly mis-quoting and digging at my comments.
No, it is not wrong to refer to somebody as 'black'. (NOT even close to what I posted)
No more wrong than saying, the woman with red hair.
Or any other basic physical descriptor.

I am having a hard time coming up with a good example here, so maybe this is kind of over-kill.
(something else for you guys to jump all over.... so have at it!)
But, there is a huge difference between referring to somebody as 'the black woman' and 'Aunt Jemima',

Um, ok.

 

[JanaDee]

A person can be intelligent, capable, dedicated and cute. Being intelligent, capable, and dedicated are personal characteristics; they can not be seen. The cute gal was described by her physical attributes which can be seen. I can't imagine someone trying to describe a person as "The capable woman who works in HR".

Again, is it only offensive because it was said by an older man? Would it be okay for a middle-aged woman to use that descriptor in reference to a younger woman? Would it be okay for any-aged lesbian to use that descriptor in reference to any-aged woman co-worker?

Some women take any type of compliment from a man as offensive or an assault on their intelligence.