Chatterbox Hyena Thread (Everyone is Welcome)

[eatmypixiedust]

Yes, she lived here in Washington, then her and her husband moved to Southern Oregon due to his job. Services for disabled children were non-existent to put it mildly. So she kept working with the Dept. of Disabilities and they put him into a program near the Portland area. Unfortunately the State of Oregon has lots of programs available, but not to children living with natural parents. She still was able to keep custody of him, but they put him in a proctor home where he would then become eligible for lots of services. Stupid, but that's how it works with disabled children.

My sister was not happy with his first placement home, so was about ready to bring him home. But then his skills provider at school was interested in becoming his proctor mother. So they did that and he has been with her the last 7 years. But this is not meant to be a long term program and the ultimate goal is to get him back into his natural home as he nears adulthood.



No, judge did not define reasonable. But he looked right at proctor mom & my sister very serious like when he said it. My sister got him today and will return him home on Wednesday evening. Proctor mom at this point is trying to look like Mary Poppins, so we doubt she will refuse visitation. Also, the judge said it was ok for him to come to WA state, but not FL.

I booked her a flight home this Thursday using my bosses airmiles, so not cost. But we did run a receipt for what the actual cost would have been. So my sister is going to submit them to the judge and tell him that she used my airmiles because she is not working and funds were running low. If we get reimbursed great, then my boss will donate it to Tyler's legal fund! If not, we aren't actually out any money. The judge seemed very sympathetic to my sister's having to be here, having to take a leave of absence from work and kind of scolded proctor mother for deceiving her & letting her get clear out here thinking she was going to be able to have Tyler.




At courthouses and attorney offices. How are you Pix? Thank you so much for the awesome card today...and thanks for the one the other day also. I gave my nephew the little Goofy sticker from it and he has it sticking on his CD player.

So what's happening next? The court visitor will make a visit with you and your sister and then you will have a hearing?


BTW- you are welcome for the card.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

Yes, she lived here in Washington, then her and her husband moved to Southern Oregon due to his job. Services for disabled children were non-existent to put it mildly. So she kept working with the Dept. of Disabilities and they put him into a program near the Portland area. Unfortunately the State of Oregon has lots of programs available, but not to children living with natural parents. She still was able to keep custody of him, but they put him in a proctor home where he would then become eligible for lots of services. Stupid, but that's how it works with disabled children.

My sister was not happy with his first placement home, so was about ready to bring him home. But then his skills provider at school was interested in becoming his proctor mother. So they did that and he has been with her the last 7 years. But this is not meant to be a long term program and the ultimate goal is to get him back into his natural home as he nears adulthood.



No, judge did not define reasonable. But he looked right at proctor mom & my sister very serious like when he said it. My sister got him today and will return him home on Wednesday evening. Proctor mom at this point is trying to look like Mary Poppins, so we doubt she will refuse visitation. Also, the judge said it was ok for him to come to WA state, but not FL.

I booked her a flight home this Thursday using my bosses airmiles, so not cost. But we did run a receipt for what the actual cost would have been. So my sister is going to submit them to the judge and tell him that she used my airmiles because she is not working and funds were running low. If we get reimbursed great, then my boss will donate it to Tyler's legal fund! If not, we aren't actually out any money. The judge seemed very sympathetic to my sister's having to be here, having to take a leave of absence from work and kind of scolded proctor mother for deceiving her & letting her get clear out here thinking she was going to be able to have Tyler.




At courthouses and attorney offices. How are you Pix? Thank you so much for the awesome card today...and thanks for the one the other day also. I gave my nephew the little Goofy sticker from it and he has it sticking on his CD player.

Ok thanks for clearing that up. Wow this must be 10X harder living so far away from her son.

 

[sameyeyam]

My nephew was put on Melatonine before he went to live with Proctor Mom. So both my sister and I are very aware of how he acts when he has his pill in the evening. After about 20 minutes he starts getting sleepy, head begins nodding, yawning and he is soon asleep. Sometimes he sleeps through the night, but other times he doesn't.

Proctor mom sent his meds for this evening. Although melatonine is not real dangerous and taking a 2nd pill today wouldn't hurt him, my sister is reluctant to give it to him. He was getting much better this evening, so DS, Tyler and my sister are all staying out in the travel trailer tonight and having a late night movieathon! She will give him his melatonine later so he doesn't have a lot in his system all at once.

But what do we do?? We can just document it, but now if we confront her or say anything it looks like we are just trying to come up with things against her.

Oh and here's a funny part. A few minutes after my sister and the boy head out to the trailer my sister calls the house on her cell phone...they forgot Tyler's Gatorade, could I bring it out when I come say goodnight to the boy's. In the background I could hear Tyler saying something...seems he wants popcorn for their movie night! So I am now their room service! Oh and another awesome thing, DH took him for a ride on his Harley tonight. He was SO EXCITED!! They put a helmet on him, put him in the front and DH putted up the road. He got off, gave us high fives and said "Kewl" and turned his collar up (must have seen it in a movie or something). Took about an hour to wipe the smile off his face after that!

 

[Alex2kMommy]

OMG, I'm dying over the bike ride! "Kewl!"

We had a movie night tonight, too, complete with Kool-Aid and popcorn.

Are you sure there's no way to know about the Melatonin? They don't have a way to check how much is in the blood at a given moment (as if he's JUST been given a pill)? Because she could do this EVERY time she turns him over!

The thing is, every dumb thing like this that she does is just going to make her look worse, even unstable! WTH is she thinking???

 

[Alex2kMommy]

So what is your sis going to do until Aug. 15? Is she returning to FL to work? How often will she be able to return and visit with Tyler? Are you able to visit with Tyler in her absence?

 

[eatmypixiedust]

My nephew was put on Melatonine before he went to live with Proctor Mom. So both my sister and I are very aware of how he acts when he has his pill in the evening. After about 20 minutes he starts getting sleepy, head begins nodding, yawning and he is soon asleep. Sometimes he sleeps through the night, but other times he doesn't.

Proctor mom sent his meds for this evening. Although melatonine is not real dangerous and taking a 2nd pill today wouldn't hurt him, my sister is reluctant to give it to him. He was getting much better this evening, so DS, Tyler and my sister are all staying out in the travel trailer tonight and having a late night movieathon! She will give him his melatonine later so he doesn't have a lot in his system all at once.

But what do we do?? We can just document it, but now if we confront her or say anything it looks like we are just trying to come up with things against her.

Oh and here's a funny part. A few minutes after my sister and the boy head out to the trailer my sister calls the house on her cell phone...they forgot Tyler's Gatorade, could I bring it out when I come say goodnight to the boy's. In the background I could hear Tyler saying something...seems he wants popcorn for their movie night! So I am now their room service! Oh and another awesome thing, DH took him for a ride on his Harley tonight. He was SO EXCITED!! They put a helmet on him, put him in the front and DH putted up the road. He got off, gave us high fives and said "Kewl" and turned his collar up (must have seen it in a movie or something). Took about an hour to wipe the smile off his face after that!

I still can't believe that proctor mom gave him his meds in the morning. Can I kick her in the cahoots?

That is awesome about him watching a movie with your sister and getting ride on the bike with your DH. I'm glad he had a good time.

 

[sameyeyam]

So what's happening next? The court visitor will make a visit with you and your sister and then you will have a hearing?


BTW- you are welcome for the card.

Right now my sister has him until Wednesday evening. Then she heads back to FL for a week. She needs to talk to her boss, take a test at school, and has made appointments to meet with autism specialists, pediatrician, school, etc...she needs to bring back lots of documentation for the judge to show that this transition can be done with no detriment to Tyler.

When she comes back next week she will make an appt. with the court visitor, meet with some doctors & specialists in this area and request another visit with Tyler (hopefully Friday - Monday). She is just trying to make him comfortable around her again. They have just been filling his head full of crap and she has got to get him through that and make sure that he knows that nothing bad is going to happen.

Then, depending on what happens she may go back to FL again for a few days if need be or possibly stay here until the hearing on August 15th.

Ok thanks for clearing that up. Wow this must be 10X harder living so far away from her son.

It really is. When her husband's company was sold and he faced the prospect of being out of work, he looked for a job and was offered a really good one in FL. He is a radio antenna engineer so not like he can work just anywhere, it's pretty specialized. They almost took Tyler with them, but he was doing so well here that my sister decided to leave him. At that time FL did not have nearly as good of a program for disabled children. Tyler normally spent all of August with her, then came out for 3 weeks at Christmas and again for 2 weeks at spring break. She flew back here almost every March for a short week long vist and his yearly meeting and evaluation with the caseworkers. She used to call him once a week, but the last couple of years that had increased to speaking with him on a nightly basis on the phone.

This is what has the state workers so floored, she had custody of him the entire time, there were never any complaints or allegations lodged by the proctor mom and it was always known that eventually Tyler would go home. We are just in shock that she is even doing this.

Still, I am very nervous about what the judge will decide. He is a new judge and attorney said he is doing everything by the book. We just have to hope that we have enough evidence to convince him.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

I'm glad he enjoyed the bike ride.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

Side Note: Is it normal that when my dog farts it smells like home to me? I get a comfy feeling in my belly before I flee the room.

This just happened so its fresh on my mind!

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Still, I am very nervous about what the judge will decide. He is a new judge and attorney said he is doing everything by the book. We just have to hope that we have enough evidence to convince him.

I know that in the state of WA the edge always goes to the bio parents... and that's in the case of foster care and potential termination of parental rights. Which this is NOT. The onus is on the state to prove that the parent is unfit in order to terminate rights involuntarily.

I just don't see how they could possibly NOT turn Tyler over to your sister if they cannot prove her unfit.

 

[sameyeyam]

So what is your sis going to do until Aug. 15? Is she returning to FL to work? How often will she be able to return and visit with Tyler? Are you able to visit with Tyler in her absence?

She has him until tomorrow night, then early Thursday morning she flies to FL, she will return the following Thursday (31st). She has to take care of work issues, meet with doctors and disabled children advocates in FL, get lots of documentation and letters for people to show that she has a support plan in place. When she returns she is hoping to be able to have Tyler for a long weekend (Fri - Monday), may have to schedule visit with court visitor during that time. We're not quite sure how long she will stay, she may need to return home for a few more days that following week and then come back a couple of days before the hearing.

I thought about asking for visits with Tyler, but to be honest I am worried now that the proctor mom would do something to make me look bad, then try to say that my sister and I don't know what we are doing. Even though I would love to have him this weekend, I think I should just tread lightly, KWIM??

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Side Note: Is it normal that when my dog farts it smells like home to me? I get a comfy feeling in my belly before I flee the room.

This just happened so its fresh on my mind!

That is just sooo wrong!

 

[AZMickeyfans]

She has him until tomorrow night, then early Thursday morning she flies to FL, she will return the following Thursday (31st). She has to take care of work issues, meet with doctors and disabled children advocates in FL, get lots of documentation and letters for people to show that she has a support plan in place. When she returns she is hoping to be able to have Tyler for a long weekend (Fri - Monday), may have to schedule visit with court visitor during that time. We're not quite sure how long she will stay, she may need to return home for a few more days that following week and then come back a couple of days before the hearing.

I thought about asking for visits with Tyler, but to be honest I am worried now that the proctor mom would do something to make me look bad, then try to say that my sister and I don't know what we are doing. Even though I would love to have him this weekend, I think I should just tread lightly, KWIM??

I totally agree with this. As much as I'm sure you would love to have him its probably not a good idea. Smart thinking.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

That is just sooo wrong!

I KNOW! I cant help it though. YOu know how certain smells remind you of something. Warm cinnamon rolls perhaps, fresh baked bread? Mine are my dogs farts.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I thought about asking for visits with Tyler, but to be honest I am worried now that the proctor mom would do something to make me look bad, then try to say that my sister and I don't know what we are doing. Even though I would love to have him this weekend, I think I should just tread lightly, KWIM??

I understand how you feel. You don't want anything you do or say to be twisted to mean something bad.

And I guess if there was not a provision for it by the judge, PM would be within her rights to refuse a visitation with non-parental family.

I tell ya, you have kept your wits about you, Sam. I think you've made all the right moves this whole way, very impressive. As frustrating and infuriating as this whole thing has been, it would be easy to blow up or say the wrong thing. But you've kept your cool, kept your sister calm in the face of incredible turmoil, and made sure to dot all your 'i's and cross all your 't's. Good job!

 

[sameyeyam]

Side Note: Is it normal that when my dog farts it smells like home to me? I get a comfy feeling in my belly before I flee the room.

This just happened so its fresh on my mind!

No it is not normal!

I know that in the state of WA the edge always goes to the bio parents... and that's in the case of foster care and potential termination of parental rights. Which this is NOT. The onus is on the state to prove that the parent is unfit in order to terminate rights involuntarily.

I just don't see how they could possibly NOT turn Tyler over to your sister if they cannot prove her unfit.

What the judge is focusing on is "Clear and Present Danger to Tyler". Not in her being an unfit parent, but in this stupid doctor's letter that says he could suffer severe digression both physically and mentally if he is thrust into a new situation where there is no plan in place.

This doctor is an idiot!! Actually my sister likes this doctor or should I say used to like this doctor. She was the one that found him when she lived here. He would write her a letter for anything! When she was trying to get services for Tyler, he would write anything he could to help out.


I mean seriously, any kid could suffer trauma from moving to a new home! They don't even have to suffer from a disability. Tyler's psych evaluation is he is basically the equivalent of a 5 year old. In addition to suffering from mental retardation and having an IQ of somewhere around 35 he is also is on the mildly severe spectrum of autism. His IQ tested at 35 when he was helped on the tests...ie explain them in different manners until he can understand. If they just give him the IQ tests in a normal manner he generally can barely score on them. So yes he does have problems and yes, there will be an adjustment period. But he knows his mother and the rest of his family. It's not like he's being thrust into a totally new environment.

However, I would like to add that even though he has these severe problems, he played Spiderman on the X-Box tonight and kicked my DS's rear!

 

[AZMickeyfans]

No it is not normal!



What the judge is focusing on is "Clear and Present Danger to Tyler". Not in her being an unfit parent, but in this stupid doctor's letter that says he could suffer severe digression both physically and mentally if he is thrust into a new situation where there is no plan in place.

This doctor is an idiot!! Actually my sister likes this doctor or should I say used to like this doctor. She was the one that found him when she lived here. He would write her a letter for anything! When she was trying to get services for Tyler, he would write anything he could to help out.


I mean seriously, any kid could suffer trauma from moving to a new home! They don't even have to suffer from a disability. Tyler's psych evaluation is he is basically the equivalent of a 5 year old. In addition to suffering from mental retardation and having an IQ of somewhere around 35 he is also is on the mildly severe spectrum of autism. His IQ tested at 35 when he was helped on the tests...ie explain them in different manners until he can understand. If they just give him the IQ tests in a normal manner he generally can barely score on them. So yes he does have problems and yes, there will be an adjustment period. But he knows his mother and the rest of his family. It's not like he's being thrust into a totally new environment.

However, I would like to add that even though he has these severe problems, he played Spiderman on the X-Box tonight and kicked my DS's rear!

Go Tyler!

 

[eatmypixiedust]

Side Note: Is it normal that when my dog farts it smells like home to me? I get a comfy feeling in my belly before I flee the room.

This just happened so its fresh on my mind!

 

[eatmypixiedust]

No it is not normal!



What the judge is focusing on is "Clear and Present Danger to Tyler". Not in her being an unfit parent, but in this stupid doctor's letter that says he could suffer severe digression both physically and mentally if he is thrust into a new situation where there is no plan in place.

This doctor is an idiot!! Actually my sister likes this doctor or should I say used to like this doctor. She was the one that found him when she lived here. He would write her a letter for anything! When she was trying to get services for Tyler, he would write anything he could to help out.


I mean seriously, any kid could suffer trauma from moving to a new home! They don't even have to suffer from a disability. Tyler's psych evaluation is he is basically the equivalent of a 5 year old. In addition to suffering from mental retardation and having an IQ of somewhere around 35 he is also is on the mildly severe spectrum of autism. His IQ tested at 35 when he was helped on the tests...ie explain them in different manners until he can understand. If they just give him the IQ tests in a normal manner he generally can barely score on them. So yes he does have problems and yes, there will be an adjustment period. But he knows his mother and the rest of his family. It's not like he's being thrust into a totally new environment.

However, I would like to add that even though he has these severe problems, he played Spiderman on the X-Box tonight and kicked my DS's rear!

 

[eatmypixiedust]

I recorded I Survived a Japanese Game Show. I fast forwarded through it until near the end. I really don't like that blonde girl Megan. She is really manipulative and I hope she gets voted off!