Caught my DS (9) Viewing Porn

[DarrenSt]

Honestly I would discuss it with them and let them know how you feel I am sure the father will not care much by the sounds of what you said he would likely cheer his son on. The mother on the other hand may have something to say about it. Sorry you had to see this first hand I hope he knows it is not the best thing to be looking at on the computer it is a gross misrepresentation of sex IMHO.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sounds like you took appropriate action. I don't know what I would do as far as the neighbor.

Of course the moral obligation is to tell the parents about the incident and then talk to them about installing the parental controls if they are interested.

I wouldn't make a big to-do or blow it out of proportion since this is the "first time". Keep it light and have a "boys will be boys" attitude to try and keep the peace while at the same time informing them of the situation.

 

[Divamomto3]

I think you've handled the situation beautifully so far. Your son sounds like a great kid. I have a son the same age. His older brother, (11) got in a similar situation last year. He went to a site and then couldn't get rid of the constant barrage of porn popups and had to come to us crying about what happened. The idea came from a neighbor's kid and there have been other problems with this unattended household in the past (one we just found out about last night) and we've decided to basically allow that kid here only.

I'd tell the neighbors. This way they won't be so surprised when your son doesn't hang around with theirs anymore.

This internet thing is really tough. Our children have the potential to be exposed to a lot of things that no child would ever be exposed to just 10 or 15 years ago. It's sad.

 

[TammyAlphabet]

I had to deal with a similar situation. I handled it this way. I talked to the parent and told them that my DS (12) had viewed porn at their house when he was there. I said that I didn't know who started it but that I thought that they ought to know. Then I erased my DS's XP account and let them only log in under my account and when I was present. That has taken care of the problem. This has worked but DS wasn't too happy about the last part. But, at least I know what he is doing on the internet. Anyhow, I realize how hard it is and wanted to let you know that you are not alone and many of us are dealing with this problem.

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gina2000]

I have a 10 year old. I haven't experienced any of this yet...but I'm wondering...

After all the discussion is over, is it time to sit down and do an anatomical discussion with them so they use proper words and know what they are seeing? Sort of a show and tell....but linking sex into it?

I'm dead serious about this only because it seems to me that if they're looking, they're interested. And if they're interested.....

 

[Daydreamer64]

I am the Mom of 8 and 10 year old boys. Before I decided to be a SAHM I taught ele. school. Some of those little kids knew far more then I did as an adult!

If your son was so upset that he vomited about the situation, then maybe you should dig a little deeper- there may be more to the story.

Your son may be a victim of agressive behavior including attempted molestation by this kid. If you haven't had "the talk" yet then your son would not know what was appropriate behavior when approached by the neighbors kid. Before you say no way- would you have thought that your son would be doing that on the net at 9?? You stated that the neighbor kid made him do things - and that the play dates were seldom very long because your son gets upset and leaves. Often "street smart" kids such as this one appears to be, will experiment with timid kids to see how far they can get reproducing some of the things that they saw on the net

I am not an alarmest but have been molested and am one of 18 kids that my Mom and Dad adopted / fostered / raised- I've seen and heard it all.

I hope I'm wrong but I would sure tell my son that it was good to share and no trouble for him if he needs or wants to tell me anything else that the neighbor's kid and he did/saw and no matter what it was that I love him.

I agree that he still chose to view at home- the computer would be off limits for quite a time - not for viewing what he did- normal interest on the kids part -I'd make that clear BUT- he knew he was sneaking hence the try to hide it from you so he needs a punishment for lying/sneeking.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

In our local elementary school there are some computers in the library. They have all sorts of web controls to keep an eye on what the kids are doing, but still there were problems. I heard that some of the "older kids" discovered an adult web site. The problem is that some of these sites are very hard to block because the name of the site can be something innocent. So one boy found the site and then passed the address around. oy vey!

 

[petula]

Man, when I think about how when we were little the biggest trouble we could get into on the computer was typing swear words into a very simple text therapist program just to get it to say the words back to us . . .

computer therapist: Tell me your problem.
Kids: "Type ****! Type ****!"
kid at keboard types: ****
computer therapist: What is your problem with ****?
Kids: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!"

This was back in the age of DOS, when you couldn't just wipe something off the screen quickly, so when the parents came in, we'd just jump up and try to cover the entire screen with our arms. lol Those were the days.

Later, when some voice software came on a new computer, and the therapist program had gotten smarter and spoke out loud (although in a really strange accent) and kept trying on its own to turn the subject to "sexy stuffs," we knew it was all downhill from there.