Can't afford open bar for whole wedding-is this acceptable instead?*Update on pg 20*

[LuLuO]

See, there it is again., YOu would cut back on other things so your guests can booze it up? I just don't get that. YOu hopefully only get married once and why should the bride or groom give up anything to Provide alcohol for their guests. This to me, just goes to show how many people seem to feel entitled to booze during a wedding. It just rubs me the wrong way. NO way would I give up on a dress or flowers or photos or limos, that I wanted in order to pay for someones else's booze fest. Then again, I would never ask guests to pay for it either. I would just do without, or do wine only. I think beer at a wedding is beyond tacky. JMHO. I would never allow it.

That's why I ended my post with with "Different strokes though." And, were you trying to yell at me by capitalizing the 'Y' and the 'O' in the word 'you' or were those just typos?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Beer is low class? Since when? I guess that I'm low class then.

I personally cannot stand beer, but I'd never look down my nose at anyone who enjoys it. Most alcohol snobs I know would drink turpentine and pretend to like it if you priced it high enough. THAT, I do not get

 

[aprilgail2]

You kept me guessing for a while, but now I know you must be joking. Nobody could be actually be that pretentious.

Nope- she would NOT be joking.

 

[mhsjax]

That's why I ended my post with with "Different strokes though." And, were you trying to yell at me by capitalizing the 'Y' and the 'O' in the word 'you' or were those just typos?

Sorry, totally typos. I have a horrible habit of doing that.

 

[aprilgail2]

Beer is low class? Since when? I guess that I'm low class then.

I was at my friends daughters baby shower, they had a keg of beer there and the "baby daddy" was manning the bar- and he had a tip cup out- sort of though the tip cup was a bit much, no one said anything about the keg but the tip cup was discussed LOL.

 

[mhsjax]

You kept me guessing for a while, but now I know you must be joking. Nobody could be actually be that pretentious.

No not joking at all. I don't think beer is appropriate for weddings. It isn't pretentious. There is nothing pretentious about me.

 

[christineann]

What makes beer inappropriate? In the alternative, what makes tequila, vodka, gin, bourbon, etc. appropriate? I've never heard serving beer called inappropriate, and I'm just curious.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I personally cannot stand beer, but I'd never look down my nose at anyone who enjoys it. Most alcohol snobs I know would drink turpentine and pretend to like it if you priced it high enough. THAT, I do not get

I agree. My beautiful wife, who is about as "classy" and "sophisticated" as anybody I've ever met, loves what she terms "good beer" more than any other alcoholic drink available, while all beer tastes the same (and not particularly good) to me.

I also agree that most alcohol snobs cannot tell the difference between "good," i.e. "expensive" and "bad," i.e. "cheap" liquor but rather are blinded by brand/price point. I actually tested this once by switching the contents of three bottles of vodka (one really cheap, one mid-grade and one fairly expensive) and two bottles of tequila (one super cheap and one pretty good) and not a single person out of a pretty snobby group of drinkers noticed (but several made fun of the fact that I had the cheap stuff in my liquor cabinet, the bottles of which held the actual good stuff). Personally, with the exception of really expensive versus really cheap scotch, it all tastes more or less the same to me, but I don't have a very sensitive palate for alcohol.

 

[mhsjax]

You do realize that the classiest of restaurants serve alcohol, sometimes including beer, right? And of course there's that story in John where Jesus turned water into wine...at a wedding, even!

I don't care if people don't drink, and almost every person I know who enjoys a glass of wine, a beer, or a cocktail doesn't care whether you do or not, either. But the attitude that anyone who does drink alcohol is wrong or low class or that they "require" it to have a good time (seriously - how many people actually said that??) is incredibly narrow-minded.

Seriously? Where did I say that anyone that wanted a drink is low class or wrong. Did you see my post where I said that I would serve alcohol at my DD's wedding? I am not narrow minded, I have seen post after post on these types of threads where people all but flat out refuse to go to a wedding if there isn't alcohol, that I do find disturbing.

I stand by MY opinion that I find beer to be inappropriate for a formal wedding. Sorry if you don't agree, that is fine.

So once again for those of you who missed my post: I don't care for a cash bar, and I will serve alcohol at my DD's wedding when it happens. I DO find beer to be inappropriate for formal weddings, and I have seen where people in the past said why in the world would they go to a wedding where alcohol wasn't served. Are we clear now?

 

[mhsjax]

What makes beer inappropriate? In the alternative, what makes tequila, vodka, gin, bourbon, etc. appropriate? I've never heard serving beer called inappropriate, and I'm just curious.

Probably just the way I was raised. My parents, who didn't drink often served wine at Thanksgiving and Christmas, even though they didn't drink. The one thing my mother didn't want at her table was beer.

 

[okeydokey]

Funny, I have been on these boards for a bit and I don't recall people posting that they refused to go to weddings where alcohol was not served.

Is beer OK for wedding that is not so formal?

 

[mhsjax]

Funny, I have been on these boards for a bit and I don't recall people posting that they refused to go to weddings where alcohol was not served.

Is beer OK for wedding that is not so formal?

Well I have seen it, sure maybe they were joking, but somehow I don't think so. Because the same arguments come up, about why do you need drinking at a wedding. And no it wasn't by me. I personally love a good open bar at a wedding.

Is it ok for a not so formal wedding, I think so. But when I think of a wedding with a sit down dinner and full bar, I think of a formal wedding. And it is my opinion, that I don't care for beer in that situation. Other alcohol sure, just not beer.

 

[christineann]

We don't have bottles or cans of beer on the Thanksgiving table either, but I don't see why serving it would not be appropriate at a formal wedding reception. We had a formal wedding and reception for over 250 people (many in tuxedos and gowns) with a band (not a plated dinner but prime rib, seafood, etc. were served), and the open bar included beer. I've never been to an event (formal or otherwise) with an open bar where beer was not served along with other beverages.

Edited to add: Beer can be poured into a glass if you don't want to hold a can or bottle. I don't think anyone is really interested in whether someone is drinking beer, wine, liquor, soda, etc.

 

[Ceila]

Well I have seen it, sure maybe they were joking, but somehow I don't think so. Because the same arguments come up, about why do you need drinking at a wedding. And no it wasn't by me. I personally love a good open bar at a wedding.

Is it ok for a not so formal wedding, I think so. But when I think of a wedding with a sit down dinner and full bar, I think of a formal wedding. And it is my opinion, that I don't care for beer in that situation. Other alcohol sure, just not beer.

I've seen the posts where people say that, and almost every one has had the little laughing smiley, indicating joking. I know many people who drink, and none would refuse to attend a wedding simply because of a lack of alcohol. None. You are assuming that those who joke are serious, and you know what it means to assume.

And yes, it is pretentious to declare that you think beer is too low-class for a formal affair. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, just as the rest of us are entitled to think you are being pretentious for having it.

 

[akhenaten]

1. Guests should not have to pay for anything at an event.

2. Whatever is served should be available to all guests

Beyond that it is your party you choose what to serve your guests...

 

[Janepod]

1. Guests should not have to pay for anything at an event.

2. Whatever is served should be available to all guests

Beyond that it is your party you choose what to serve your guests...

Agreed. I have much less of a problem with a dry wedding, or a beer-and-wine-only wedding than I do with a cash bar. What's "low-class" is to treat your guests not as guests but as paying customers. What's next, BYOB?

 

[sam_gordon]

Agreed. I have much less of a problem with a dry wedding, or a beer-and-wine-only wedding than I do with a cash bar. What's "low-class" is to treat your guests not as guests but as paying customers. What's next, BYOB?

I don't get the bolded. How is a wedding party with a cash bar treating guests a "paying customers"? It's not like the wedding party is getting the money people spend on alcohol. I see it as giving guests the ability to choose their own drinks. However, in my mind, some free options (water, tea, coffee, preferably soda also) would HAVE to be available. That doesn't force anyone to pay for drinks.

 

[Ceila]

I don't get the bolded. How is a wedding party with a cash bar treating guests a "paying customers"? It's not like the wedding party is getting the money people spend on alcohol. I see it as giving guests the ability to choose their own drinks. However, in my mind, some free options (water, tea, coffee, preferably soda also) would HAVE to be available. That doesn't force anyone to pay for drinks.

Because the bride and groom get to "offer" drinks without paying for it themselves. Basically, their guests are paying for that part of the reception.

 

[shoney]

I don't get the bolded. How is a wedding party with a cash bar treating guests a "paying customers"? It's not like the wedding party is getting the money people spend on alcohol. I see it as giving guests the ability to choose their own drinks. However, in my mind, some free options (water, tea, coffee, preferably soda also) would HAVE to be available. That doesn't force anyone to pay for drinks.

A wedding is just another party in my mind. I wouldn't invite guests to my home and charge them for a beer...even if it was at cost! I buy it...I serve it...They drink it!

 

[Lionqueen2]

In our area, anything other than an open bar would be considered tacky just like inviting someone to your home and expecting them to pay for drinks. If the cost of an open bar is prohibitive, than a drink fountain during hor dourves before the dinner along with beer and wine throughout the evening should work and keep the cost down.