Can't afford open bar for whole wedding-is this acceptable instead?*Update on pg 20*

[Ceila]

I'm from Maryland, and have been to weddings along the east coast many times. I've never been to a wedding that hasn't had an open bar.

That being said, I see nothing wrong with doing beer/wine/soda or just soda or just water...as long as you don't ask your guests to pay for it. I just think that's tacky and, frankly, rude. I wouldn't dream of asking guests to pay for their hors d'oeuvres or dessert, and I would never ask them to pay for their drinks.

 

[sam_gordon]

Sometimes "cash bar" means that alcohol costs extra, but I have been to two weddings where it means EVERYTHING, including water (no tap water available, just bottles from the bar), comes from the bar at a cost. I don't drink, so I haven't always gone to a wedding with money, even if I knew it would be a "cash bar." I do now.



I'm of the same mindset as Shoney. It's weird to ask guests to pay extra for stuff at a party. If soft drinks are what the host can afford, then the guests graciously accept it. If beer and wine is what's offered, then that's fine. If the host offers a full bar. Enjoy!

I know that "cash bar" is common some places (as well as the dollar dance, etc.) so I chalk it up to "not something I'd do." As long as there are no-charge options available, it wouldn't bother me, but I wouldn't do it.

The bolded is where I am. As long as there is some kind of no charge option, I don't have a problem with a cash bar. If you must pay for ANY kind of drink, that's bad (IMO).

 

[LuLuO]

Eh. Never much liked the ticket thing. Just something else I have to keep track of.

Around here it is kind of expected that some kind of alcohol will be free at the reception. I figure it is different depending on the area of the country you are in. I would cut back on other things to offer the open bar. At the very least I'd offer beer and wine at no charge. Things like water, coffee, tea and soda should always be free. I've never heard of being charged for those things.

We had a three hour open bar at our four hour reception, including a bottle of champagne on every table for the toasts. The way we afforded it is that we got married in early April, the off-season, we had a buffet service instead of table service, and chose to forego the chair covers.

Different strokes though.

 

[sharonmickey]

At DD's wedding only beer and wine were offered. Since money was an issue the wedding consultant suggested having limited beer/wine available. The consultant sat down with the bride and groom and came up with the number of bottles of wine and beer available for the reception. Once the supply was gone, alcohol was shut off for all guests. I think they had plenty, not all the wine/beer they had available was used. Most of their friends were casual drinkers so it was not a problem.

 

[mhsjax]

For me, individual me, I agree with you. I go to Weddings (regardless of if I have to fly 5000 miles, or drive 5 minutes) to celebrate the Couple. However, what IS bad manners is expecting guests to pay for their own drinks (non-alcoholic included, just to be clear my point is not about alcohol) so that the Bride can have a $7000 dress, or the 20 piece orchestra, or the $800 per table centerpieces, or even 300 of their closest family and best friends.

I am in the Event Planning industry. Have been for over 15 years. You would be surprised how many Couples I come across who do this. Heck, they'll sell Grandma just to be able to have the Wedding that they've dreamt of since they were 6 months old.

So no, I don't expect an open bar for every Wedding I attend, however, I do expect the Hosts to treat their Guests to an event that is within their means across the board.

I agree with everything you said 100%. I personally would never have a cash bar. I just hate the vibe put off by some, that you have to have alcohol involved in order for it to be a great party. I also would never give up anything in order to provide free alcohol. My guests would have to do without.

 

[Bob NC]

I personally think a cash bar is fine.

I also think giving folks a ticket for a couple drinks is nice.

Having a 1 hour happy hour on your tab is even nicer.

To me, none of it is required, and of the options you presented absolutely none of them are rude or tacky.

 

[onelilspark]

Generally speaking, if you're hosting any event, you should provide all food & drink for your guests. With that in mind, I would recommend beer & wine only. No one will really miss mixed drinks.

 

[mhsjax]

Eh. Never much liked the ticket thing. Just something else I have to keep track of.

Around here it is kind of expected that some kind of alcohol will be free at the reception. I figure it is different depending on the area of the country you are in. I would cut back on other things to offer the open bar. At the very least I'd offer beer and wine at no charge. Things like water, coffee, tea and soda should always be free. I've never heard of being charged for those things.

We had a three hour open bar at our four hour reception, including a bottle of champagne on every table for the toasts. The way we afforded it is that we got married in early April, the off-season, we had a buffet service instead of table service, and chose to forego the chair covers.

Different strokes though.

See, there it is again., YOu would cut back on other things so your guests can booze it up? I just don't get that. YOu hopefully only get married once and why should the bride or groom give up anything to Provide alcohol for their guests. This to me, just goes to show how many people seem to feel entitled to booze during a wedding. It just rubs me the wrong way. NO way would I give up on a dress or flowers or photos or limos, that I wanted in order to pay for someones else's booze fest. Then again, I would never ask guests to pay for it either. I would just do without, or do wine only. I think beer at a wedding is beyond tacky. JMHO. I would never allow it.

 

[wiigirl]

I personally think a cash bar is fine.

I also think giving folks a ticket for a couple drinks is nice.

Having a 1 hour happy hour on your tab is even nicer.

To me, none of it is required, and of the options you presented absolutely none of them are rude or tacky.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[msjprincess]

See, there it is again., YOu would cut back on other things so your guests can booze it up? I just don't get that. YOu hopefully only get married once and why should the bride or groom give up anything to Provide alcohol for their guests. This to me, just goes to show how many people seem to feel entitled to booze during a wedding. It just rubs me the wrong way. NO way would I give up on a dress or flowers or photos or limos, that I wanted in order to pay for someones else's booze fest. Then again, I would never ask guests to pay for it either. I would just do without, or do wine only. I think beer at a wedding is beyond tacky. JMHO. I would never allow it.

A booze fest?

 

[mhsjax]

A booze fest?

I know, it is quite hysterical isn't it? All these people require alcohol at weddings. And beer? really? Sorry but that is for a back yard bbq or football games. Not classy occasions like weddings.

 

[crz4mm2]

I know, it is quite hysterical isn't it? All these people require alcohol at weddings. And beer? really? Sorry but that is for a back yard bbq or football games. Not classy occasions like weddings.

Really?
SOME people like beer. Some people like beer at WEDDINGS. (gasp).

To each their own, but around here, a keg or two at weddings is not at all unheard of.

 

[joviroxx]

I know, it is quite hysterical isn't it? All these people require alcohol at weddings. And beer? really? Sorry but that is for a back yard bbq or football games. Not classy occasions like weddings.

Actually, I went to a wedding that WAS a bbq on a lake. They had beer and water sports, etc. I was alot of fun.

BTW, having a reception is also giving a party. You are also playing part host and you are hosting people. As a host, and as someone inviting guests, its important to me that they have a good time. Would it be ok not to feed them too if you didn't want to?

Parties are usually held by someone, but in any event, you do consider your guests. You might not like liquor, but others do. I have family and friends that enjoy it so yes, I WOULD consider it important and I always plan parties with my guests enjoyment in mind, whether its a wedding, a birthday party, a dinner, whatever. I have to be honest, I think your issue with liquor goes far beyond wanting or expecting an open bar at a wedding. I may be totally wrong, but you just sound really angry about it.

 

[gemini2727]

I know, it is quite hysterical isn't it? All these people require alcohol at weddings. And beer? really? Sorry but that is for a back yard bbq or football games. Not classy occasions like weddings.

Why is beer demonized as low class? I like beer (even at a wedding)

 

[gemini2727]

Actually, I went to a wedding that WAS a bbq on a lake. They had beer and water sports, etc. I was alot of fun.

BTW, having a reception is also giving a party. You are also playing part host and you are hosting people. As a host, and as someone inviting guests, its important to me that they have a good time. Would it be ok not to feed them too if you didn't want to?

Parties are usually held by someone, but in any event, you do consider your guests. You might not like liquor, but others do. I have family and friends that enjoy it so yes, I WOULD consider it important and I always plan parties with my guests enjoyment in mind, whether its a wedding, a birthday party, a dinner, whatever. I have to be honest, I think your issue with liquor goes far beyond wanting or expecting an open bar at a wedding. I may be totally wrong, but you just sound really angry about it.

Agreed.

 

[Ceila]

I know, it is quite hysterical isn't it? All these people require alcohol at weddings. And beer? really? Sorry but that is for a back yard bbq or football games. Not classy occasions like weddings.

You do realize that the classiest of restaurants serve alcohol, sometimes including beer, right? And of course there's that story in John where Jesus turned water into wine...at a wedding, even!

I don't care if people don't drink, and almost every person I know who enjoys a glass of wine, a beer, or a cocktail doesn't care whether you do or not, either. But the attitude that anyone who does drink alcohol is wrong or low class or that they "require" it to have a good time (seriously - how many people actually said that??) is incredibly narrow-minded.

 

[mjantz]

One thing about alcohol is that, in my situation & other family weddings, there are people who would NOT show up if alcohol was being served at the reception. So, given a choice between alcohol & my kids grandparents, I'm going with the grandparents.

 

[Allison]

Why is beer demonized as low class? I like beer (even at a wedding)

I don't understand that either. So a certain kind of alcohol is more acceptable than another because it's supposedly classier?

 

[kirstenb1]

I don't understand that either. So a certain kind of alcohol is more acceptable than another because it's supposedly classier?

Maybe Hyacinth Bucket can answer this...

 

[Janepod]

Maybe Hyacinth Bucket can answer this...

It's BOUQUET.