This is going to be long, so I apologize ahead of time.
My son is in the 1st grade. There is an autistic child in his class whom he gets along with pretty well. The problem is that when the two of them get into trouble, only my son can get disciplined because the child has and IEP and he cannot get in trouble like the other children, only sent to the resource room. This child has a history in blurting out the word "kill" in the middle of class for no apparent reason. So the class had a long talk about saying that word and how they are not allowed to say it. Fine.
The other day my son gets a note home saying that he got in trouble at lunch for saying the word kill and that if it happened again, there would be a major consequence. That was all it said. So I asked my son about it and he said this child was in line next to him, twisting him arm. When he was asked to stop, he did not. So my son said "you're killing me!" and got into trouble for it. I asked him who he got into trouble from and he told me that name of the para that is assigned to this other child. Apparently her job is to be with him all day to make sure that he is not getting out of line.
So I called the teacher and left her a message letting her know that we got the note and talked to my son about not saying that word again. I also explained what he told me was going on in the line and what exactly he said he said to this child. She called me back the next day and quite rudely told me that she talked to the para and the para said that it did not happen at all like my son said. The para said that she was standing by the boys and overhead my son tell the other one to say the word kill, like egging him on. She said "that is all the information I have because I was not there". I said OK and hung up the phone.
I later talked to my son and told him what the para said and he said "that's not true!" "she was not even near us!". I asked him where she was and he told me across the room talking with another adult. So at this point I am extremely confused as to how she could have heard him say anything when she was not there. So I asked him how she knew he said anything and he told me the other child ran out of line and went up to the para and told her something. She came over and told my son he was in trouble and she was telling the teacher.
At this point my husband and I are pretty upset because it has seemed all year that he has been picked on by his teacher, but we always let it go because we did not want to make waves for him. So my husband calls the teacher and sets up a meeting for the next morning. The teacher agrees and tells him the principal will be there as well. When they sit down DH asked the teacher again to tell the para's side of the story and it was the same as what she had told me. He then tells the teacher and principal our sons side. Their response was that the para has worked there for a long time and they saw no reason that she would lie about it. The principal said that sometimes kids make things up to try and get out of trouble. My DH agrees but said that my son was not trying to get out of trouble, he agreed that he said "kill", but says he DID NOT tell this other child to say kill. He also told them that our son said the para was not even standing there. Again they said that there was no reason for the para to lie about what happened but the teacher said she would talk to the para again. The teacher called back that day and said that the para's story has not changed and she maintains that she was standing there and heard my son say this. That my son was not telling the truth. My DH said "I hope he is the one that is lying because it is a much larger issue if it is the para". They both agreed and acted as if she would get into huge trouble if that were the case.
Over the weekend we tried to trip our son up. Trying to get him to admit he was making it up. He never faltered and maintained that it happened the way he said it.
On Sunday I emailed the principal and asked him to talk with both boys separately to ask them what happened that day. He did. I got an email this afternoon telling me that while one boy said his arm was being twisted, the other one maintains that he did not. Ok, fine, not a big deal. Then he said what they did both say was that the para was across the room and nowhere near them. He then proceeds to tell me that things happened with kids in the blink of an eye and that it is all fine because both boys really get along and seem to be great friends. That if I wanted to discuss it further, please feel free to contact him. Not ONE mention of the fact that his employee would be talked to about lying about my son! Not even an acknowledgement that she could not have heard my son say ANYTHING because she was not there!
I am so blown away and I don't even know what to do at this point. I feel that at the very least, this woman, and frankly his teacher as well, owe my son an apology for lying about him! His teacher never even asked him what happened! She just assumed that the para was right and he was wrong.
So what do you think I should do? I just feel like someone punched my gut knowing that an adult who is supposed to be someone my son can trust, totally lied about him to save her own butt.
My son is in the 1st grade. There is an autistic child in his class whom he gets along with pretty well. The problem is that when the two of them get into trouble, only my son can get disciplined because the child has and IEP and he cannot get in trouble like the other children, only sent to the resource room. This child has a history in blurting out the word "kill" in the middle of class for no apparent reason. So the class had a long talk about saying that word and how they are not allowed to say it. Fine.
The other day my son gets a note home saying that he got in trouble at lunch for saying the word kill and that if it happened again, there would be a major consequence. That was all it said. So I asked my son about it and he said this child was in line next to him, twisting him arm. When he was asked to stop, he did not. So my son said "you're killing me!" and got into trouble for it. I asked him who he got into trouble from and he told me that name of the para that is assigned to this other child. Apparently her job is to be with him all day to make sure that he is not getting out of line.
So I called the teacher and left her a message letting her know that we got the note and talked to my son about not saying that word again. I also explained what he told me was going on in the line and what exactly he said he said to this child. She called me back the next day and quite rudely told me that she talked to the para and the para said that it did not happen at all like my son said. The para said that she was standing by the boys and overhead my son tell the other one to say the word kill, like egging him on. She said "that is all the information I have because I was not there". I said OK and hung up the phone.
I later talked to my son and told him what the para said and he said "that's not true!" "she was not even near us!". I asked him where she was and he told me across the room talking with another adult. So at this point I am extremely confused as to how she could have heard him say anything when she was not there. So I asked him how she knew he said anything and he told me the other child ran out of line and went up to the para and told her something. She came over and told my son he was in trouble and she was telling the teacher.
At this point my husband and I are pretty upset because it has seemed all year that he has been picked on by his teacher, but we always let it go because we did not want to make waves for him. So my husband calls the teacher and sets up a meeting for the next morning. The teacher agrees and tells him the principal will be there as well. When they sit down DH asked the teacher again to tell the para's side of the story and it was the same as what she had told me. He then tells the teacher and principal our sons side. Their response was that the para has worked there for a long time and they saw no reason that she would lie about it. The principal said that sometimes kids make things up to try and get out of trouble. My DH agrees but said that my son was not trying to get out of trouble, he agreed that he said "kill", but says he DID NOT tell this other child to say kill. He also told them that our son said the para was not even standing there. Again they said that there was no reason for the para to lie about what happened but the teacher said she would talk to the para again. The teacher called back that day and said that the para's story has not changed and she maintains that she was standing there and heard my son say this. That my son was not telling the truth. My DH said "I hope he is the one that is lying because it is a much larger issue if it is the para". They both agreed and acted as if she would get into huge trouble if that were the case.
Over the weekend we tried to trip our son up. Trying to get him to admit he was making it up. He never faltered and maintained that it happened the way he said it.
On Sunday I emailed the principal and asked him to talk with both boys separately to ask them what happened that day. He did. I got an email this afternoon telling me that while one boy said his arm was being twisted, the other one maintains that he did not. Ok, fine, not a big deal. Then he said what they did both say was that the para was across the room and nowhere near them. He then proceeds to tell me that things happened with kids in the blink of an eye and that it is all fine because both boys really get along and seem to be great friends. That if I wanted to discuss it further, please feel free to contact him. Not ONE mention of the fact that his employee would be talked to about lying about my son! Not even an acknowledgement that she could not have heard my son say ANYTHING because she was not there!
I am so blown away and I don't even know what to do at this point. I feel that at the very least, this woman, and frankly his teacher as well, owe my son an apology for lying about him! His teacher never even asked him what happened! She just assumed that the para was right and he was wrong.
So what do you think I should do? I just feel like someone punched my gut knowing that an adult who is supposed to be someone my son can trust, totally lied about him to save her own butt.
I agree with this.
Wow! I think that's an overreaction. It sounds like her son and the child are buddies. While it is frustrating her child is the one who is catching the flak for things, it is wild that you would equate to no contact. That's alot to put onto the kid.
