Can you help me settle a godparent argument?

[dyna]

Since the god parents are supposed to be special ppl to the child an help guide them on the right path thru life I don't think I'd pick married couples to be a childs god parents the divorce rate is way to high for that. You might end up with an ex god parent along the way. Look at the inlaws who divorces whole family once they divorce.....kinda goes back to the old sayin Blood is thicker than water.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...So what do you think? Is he right thinking that it should be couples or am I right thinking that you don't need couples?...

You are right that Godparents do not have to be couples. (Goodness, DS's don't even live in the same country as each other!) And both DH and I are Godparents to different children.

For us, it's not about someone to raise your kids if you are gone, but someone extra for them to talk to about things - religious or otherwise - as they're growing up.

 

[waltskids]

Both our children have godparents that are not couples. Since we are raising our children Catholic, one of the godparents has to be Catholic as well. Since DH was raised Methodist, none of his family is Catholic so we have one person from each side of the family for each child.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Our son has one godfather and two godmothers. Godfather is DH's brother and his Godmothers and my sister and her partner. Now we are having this new little one and I told him my picks for godparents would be my sister (a different one) and his brother (a different one). He then tells me no, that it has to be in couples because he always felt horrible that we did not ask his brothers wife to be a godmother as well. They were not even married yet! So now he wants 2 sets of godparents, his brother and his wife, and my sister and her husband. That gets to be a little much don't you think? My godparents are not married so I just really don't see the big deal in this.

So what do you think? Is he right thinking that it should be couples or am I right thinking that you don't need couples? In the end, I don't really care other than we get gifts for the godparents at Christmastime and will be adding 2 more gifts onto the pile of gifts we already have to buy.

What do you think?

Kristine

First, Congrats on your upcoming Bundle of Joy!
I think that two sets is a bit much...............I understand that couples are nice but the reality of situation is that the Godparents are supposed to be those that "help" to bring the child the "Church" into his/her life, so when it comes to having Godparents come to celebrations, it might be awkward with 4 people..........just a thought, a "couple" is not required.....

Go with who you want, and no I do not think it has to be a couple. My BIL and My Sis are my own childs' and it worked out fine.
Again, congratulations to you and your family!

 

[Mailloux]

I have four godparents and I like having four godparents. Both sets were married at the time my parents picked them, but one divorced when I was very young. As a kid, it made me feel more secure to know that I had other people other than my parents that I could talk to and that had some responsibility for guiding me spiritually and I was close to them as a kid. That said, I am also Godmother to three of my SIL's four kids. She picked my husband and her husband's sister for the eldest because we were not married yet. I don't think you need to be married, but I also see no harm in having four godparents - who could argue with giving your kids more people who love them and will look out for them?

 

[Steph9072]

In all seriousness, I'm not asking to be snarky or anything...

..but what is the point exactly with Godparents?

I have two DD's and my wife and I didn't ask anyone to be Godparents. I've heard of Godparents of course, just don't know what the purpose is.

I am speaking from a Lutheran perspective. When our children were baptized we vowed to the church we would raise them according to God’s wishes. Their Godparents agree to step in if for some reason dh and I are no longer around. A Godparent must be knowledgeable to raise our children as we have chosen, in the Lutheran Faith. Also, Godparents also assist the kids with learn throughout the years . Like when they are going through confirmation classes a Godparent may assist them in learning what they need to learn.


My dd has 3 Godparents. My husband’s brother & sil also a family friend who brought me into the Lutheran church as an adult and guided me through the years.
My ds has 4 Godparents. My husband’s other brother & sil as well as my sister & bil.

 

[LisaNJ25]

4 godparents are to much... save 2 for the next kid

No, they dont have to be married.

My kids have:

Oldest son-aunt and uncle (dh's siblings)
Oldest daughter (aunt-dh side uncle-my brother)
Youngest 2 kids have the same a friend of ours an my brother again lol

My only brother is the godfather to 3 of my kids.. poor kid. He was 17 when he first became a godfather.

My kids were all baptized catholic and my family isn't so it was tricky to get atleast 1 catholic godparent.

 

[Nancyg56]

I am a Catholic and have one godchild. I love all of my nieces and nephews but Debbie and I have a very special relationship. She is Godmother to my DGD and they in turn have a special relationship.

I see no reason not to have four Godparents for your child if you are comfortable with that. IF all of them have the same values that you and your Dh have then the example they give your child will simply be magnified and the baby will have 4 people instead of two to be special to.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I am Catholic and as far as I know--the godparents are spiritual guides, not parental replacements.

I have 3 children and only my youngest has a couple for godparents.

I've never heard that it *had* to be a couple.

 

[PaDisney02]

Yeah we made that very known to family. Everyone agreed to it, and its written down and been notarized by JAG who the kids are going to. That too is why we chose w/in the family.

Are you saying in the event of your death each child would go to their godparents? Is that what you are having notarized?

Sorry if I misunderstood you....but I hope you wouldnt split up your kids in the event of your death. Yes, the kids would all be going to family...but wouldnt you want them all together?

In my family we all have god parents but they are our sponsers who agree to teach us about church and "raise" us within the church. Good Luck to what ever you decide!

 

[MichelleinMaine]

My kids' baptismal certificate (Lutheran) has the "godparents" listed as sponsors. In the ceremony, they pledged to guide each child through a Christian life. (Not Lutheran, Christian. For what it's worth, both children's godfather {same guy} is Lutheran. The 2 different godmothers are not.)

I can't see any reason why they have to be married or a couple. I also don't see the harm in having more than 2 people supporting your child either if that's what you want. (I gave up buying godparent gifts after the first year. They're folks who get gifts from us anyway, I don't buy extra for the sake of godparentness.)

If you want a funny response to the godparents are not substitute parents statement... I was baptized just before we got married. DH was my sponsor. (I do not get him a godparent gift either!)

 

[happy.family.of.6]

My understanding of Godparents (and I might be wrong) is someone who will take care of your child if something should happen to you and who would raise them the way you would. If they have two Godparents (or more) who arent married or a couple at least, would they be taken care of like divorced parents? Or are they just there to be God parents, for titles sake, and you have someone else in mind for your children to go to in case something happens? These are all things to be considered in the event something does happen to you. If you are going to have seperate families anyway (his brother, your sister) might as well include their spouses. There really wouldnt be a point to not include their spouses? It's not like if your child does go to them, one is responsible for him/her and the other is not. Plus I think it is the considerate thing to do. When you are married, you are (supposed to be) like one union anyway. Hope I helped.

 

[happy.family.of.6]

After reading MichelleinMaine's post - that makes sense as well!! The more the merrier I say.

 

[asoko]

There are 4 siblings in my family. The 3 oldest have godparents who are not couples, one is not Catholic all the others are. My youngest brother is 20 years younger than me and 12 yrs younger than my sister. We other 3 of us are his godparents. My kids each have 4 godparents, my siblings and DH sister. So we don't have any couples and many have more than 2.

 

[nemofans]

I am catholic & we have godparents for our sons. Some people choose godparents to also be guardians of their children. Those people usually pick married couples for that reason. Some of my family members do that for their kids. DH & I decided to just have our sons' godparents only be godparents. So we chose one of my family members & one of DH's siblings for our sons. For ex, our 1st DS has my bro & DH's sis. Our 2nd DS has DH's bro & my aunt (she's more like my sis). We have a will that states who will get guardianship of both boys.
What I don't get about choosing godparents to also be guardians, why would you choose different godparents for each of your children? If you pass away, then would your children be split up betw their own godparents? We want our boys to stay together if something happens to us. I never understood that part.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

The purpose of a godparent is to be a spiritual/religious guide for this child. So, shouldn't you be choosing these people based on that? Who you think has good faith and would be best in this role? That's what's important.

Godparents have traditionally not been a part of my denomination. We believe that it is the responsibility of the entire congregation to serve this role, not a select couple or few. However, we do allow parents to name godparents if they want, recognizing that those attending our churches often come from different traditions.

Personally, we will not name godparents when our DS is baptized in November as we don't see the need and think that godparenthood is often used for the wrong purpose.

 

[wdwfan16]

Our son has one godfather and two godmothers. Godfather is DH's brother and his Godmothers and my sister and her partner. Now we are having this new little one and I told him my picks for godparents would be my sister (a different one) and his brother (a different one). He then tells me no, that it has to be in couples because he always felt horrible that we did not ask his brothers wife to be a godmother as well. They were not even married yet! So now he wants 2 sets of godparents, his brother and his wife, and my sister and her husband. That gets to be a little much don't you think? My godparents are not married so I just really don't see the big deal in this.

So what do you think? Is he right thinking that it should be couples or am I right thinking that you don't need couples? In the end, I don't really care other than we get gifts for the godparents at Christmastime and will be adding 2 more gifts onto the pile of gifts we already have to buy.

What do you think?

Kristine

They do not have to be couples. You did set a president the first time. You did more than two and one set was a couple. You also told him he gets to pick and he wants to pick two couples.

 

[Deb & Bill]

In all seriousness, I'm not asking to be snarky or anything...

..but what is the point exactly with Godparents?

I have two DD's and my wife and I didn't ask anyone to be Godparents. I've heard of Godparents of course, just don't know what the purpose is.

To help fight off Voldemort and the Death Eaters????

 

[okeydokey]

We are Catholic and my dd has 4 godparents (two couples) and my ds has three godparents (not couples). Pick whoever you want, there is no wrong or right way, it just matters what is important to you and your family.

 

[2cutekidz]

Both of my kids have different Godparents. For my DD it's my Sister and her husband. For DS it's my Husband's sister and his brother. My DH is Godfather to his sister's oldest son but I'm not his Godmother (we were together but not married when he was born) We are the legal guardians of all 3 of DSIL's kids though if something happens - though it has nothing to do with Godparents. I think now-adays Godparent is just a title of respect.