Can you help me settle a godparent argument?

[dislal]

We are Methodist, and when I had my children baptized I wanted all three to have the same godparents so we picked DH sister and her husband and My brother and his wife. So that is 4 godparents for my kids, I think it is whatever you feel comfortable with.

The problem I have with baptism is when they baptize kids at our church you have to take a vow to raise your children in the church, but these people never bring their children back.so why baptize your kids.

 

[Nancyg56]

The problem I have with baptism is when they baptize kids at our church you have to take a vow to raise your children in the church, but these people never bring their children back.so why baptize your kids.

I think you will hear this same thing in every Church. We take the same vow in our Church. This is a Sacrament, not a photo op but many times it is not treated as such. My neighbor is complaining that her DD has not had her children baptized and that they never made their First Communion. She said these are the Biggies. I agree but none of them go to Church. Ever.

 

[PixiePlanner]

The problem I have with baptism is when they baptize kids at our church you have to take a vow to raise your children in the church, but these people never bring their children back.so why baptize your kids.

AMEN!

We are Lutheran. When DD & DS were baptized, we chose DH's sister and her husband and my brother and sister as Godparents/Sponsors. They all attended when DS had his first communion: that was nice.

The guardians for our children, should something happen to us, are my brother and his wife. Two completely different matters.

 

[PixiePlanner]

double post. Oops!

 

[LWatson]

Are you saying in the event of your death each child would go to their godparents? Is that what you are having notarized?

Sorry if I misunderstood you....but I hope you wouldnt split up your kids in the event of your death. Yes, the kids would all be going to family...but wouldnt you want them all together?

In my family we all have god parents but they are our sponsers who agree to teach us about church and "raise" us within the church. Good Luck to what ever you decide!

They wouldnt be split up. When my DH and his Aunt had their falling out we told everyone that the new GP were my sister and BIL esp since they were going to be my youngests GP. My sister and BIL both have the same "religious beliefs" we do, so they would be guiding them the same we do. So THAT is what I had notorized...that my kids would go to my Sister and BIL.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

The problem I have with baptism is when they baptize kids at our church you have to take a vow to raise your children in the church, but these people never bring their children back.so why baptize your kids.

As a minister, I see this all the time. I agree with you that it is frustrating how some people break their vows to God so easily. I think some people only do it so that they can have a party and dress their kids up nicely in the spotlight. However, I would never refuse an infant baptism even if I sensed that the parents would only be back at Christmas because we don't know how the Spirit works. That's grace.

It's always so nice to baptism an adult who has already unofficially been committed to the church or a child whose parents take their vows seriously. I have been fortunate enough to officiate at these sacraments and it has been a real blessing.

 

[Tink_fanatic]

Our son has one godfather and two godmothers. Godfather is DH's brother and his Godmothers and my sister and her partner. Now we are having this new little one and I told him my picks for godparents would be my sister (a different one) and his brother (a different one). He then tells me no, that it has to be in couples because he always felt horrible that we did not ask his brothers wife to be a godmother as well. They were not even married yet! So now he wants 2 sets of godparents, his brother and his wife, and my sister and her husband. That gets to be a little much don't you think? My godparents are not married so I just really don't see the big deal in this.

So what do you think? Is he right thinking that it should be couples or am I right thinking that you don't need couples? In the end, I don't really care other than we get gifts for the godparents at Christmastime and will be adding 2 more gifts onto the pile of gifts we already have to buy.

What do you think?

Kristine

I think it just depends on what works best for your family. My godparents are not married to each other (at the time godfather was dads best friend and godmother was my moms best friend) and its no big deal; I love them both but am more attached to my godmother.

On the other hand my daughter has 3 godmother's. I figure if anything should ever happen to me, she has her pick of who she wants to live with. They are all very good friends of mine and have good, separate relationship with my DD.

 

[luvmy3]

I think it just depends on what works best for your family. My godparents are not married to each other (at the time godfather was dads best friend and godmother was my moms best friend) and its no big deal; I love them both but am more attached to my godmother.

On the other hand my daughter has 3 godmother's. I figure if anything should ever happen to me, she has her pick of who she wants to live with. They are all very good friends of mine and have good, separate relationship with my DD.

Your dd will have no say in who she wants to live with if something should happen to you when she is still a minor. You need to establish guardianship in your will, or the court will decide who your child will go to, and that does not mean it WILL be one of the Godparents.



To answer why do people who baptize their children and then never return to Church, it could be pressure from family. I was baptized and raised Catholic, 2 of my kids were baptized, by the time the third was born I didn't care what not baptizing him would mean to my family. I wish I had decided that with my first and second but I didn't want to disappoint my family members, especially my Grandmother who is a devout Catholic.

 

[sk!mom]

Our son has one godfather and two godmothers. Godfather is DH's brother and his Godmothers and my sister and her partner. Now we are having this new little one and I told him my picks for godparents would be my sister (a different one) and his brother (a different one). He then tells me no, that it has to be in couples because he always felt horrible that we did not ask his brothers wife to be a godmother as well. They were not even married yet! So now he wants 2 sets of godparents, his brother and his wife, and my sister and her husband. That gets to be a little much don't you think? My godparents are not married so I just really don't see the big deal in this.

What do you think?

Kristine

With as much divorce as there has been in both mine and DH's family, I would stay away from asking the spouse of a sibling. The reality is if there is a contentious divorce you could have a difficult relationship with a godparent. I wouldn't do couples.

 

[mjkacmom]

My understanding of Godparents (and I might be wrong) is someone who will take care of your child if something should happen to you and who would raise them the way you would. If they have two Godparents (or more) who arent married or a couple at least, would they be taken care of like divorced parents? Or are they just there to be God parents, for titles sake, and you have someone else in mind for your children to go to in case something happens? These are all things to be considered in the event something does happen to you. If you are going to have seperate families anyway (his brother, your sister) might as well include their spouses. There really wouldnt be a point to not include their spouses? It's not like if your child does go to them, one is responsible for him/her and the other is not. Plus I think it is the considerate thing to do. When you are married, you are (supposed to be) like one union anyway. Hope I helped.

This is SO not true. Godparents are to make sure the child is raised according to his or her religion. Guardianship is totally different, and needs to be put into a will.

 

[crisi]

I'd just encourage you to pick godparents who are going to treat your second child similarly to how your current sets of godparents treat the first.

Growing up, my parents picked my father's parents for my godparents. My sister got my mother's sister and brother. My baby sister got my father's brother and a cousin of his.

My grandparents were distant. There was usually no extra godparent gift at Christmas, and if there was one, it was usually one, and clothes.

My mother's family had a tradition of buying gifts for Godparents. Since hers were from seperate families, she always had two extra gifts under the tree.

My uncle (the baby's godfather) was indulgent one year and forgot for the next three. The cousin fell off the radar almost immediately.

Although we were Catholic and the "Christian faith" part of godparenting is supposed to be important, in truth, for a kid, it was about the extra Christmas/Birthday present. The middle sister made out. My baby sister got the short end of the stick.

My kids don't have godparents.

 

[disykat]

I became a godparent to two children when I was still single. At our wedding, both families mentioned how their child had gained a godfather. IMO, while I'm still the "primary godparent," married people share those kinds of relationships.

Even if you choose one half of a married couple, they may consider it a shared "job."