Can you have a mid-life crisis at 28?

[babar]

I'm going to be 29, and all of a sudden, I wish my life was totally different!! (not really all of a sudden, more like the past year)

I don't really like the career I have chosen anymore, I've been in a relationship for the past 6 years and I'm not sure where it's going anymore. (we're kind of stalled, and I don't really care one way or the other what happens anymore) I feel like I've missed my chance to do a lot of things that I wanted to, but didn't for one reason or another.

Did you ever feel inside that you were meant for such much than this? And when I think about it, I get a sinking feeling that it's too late. Like, I made my bed, and now I have to lie in it.

I guess I'm blue. And while I love my friends, they aren't exactly who I want to talk to about this. And my boyfriend doesn't get it either, he thinks it's a mood.

Oh well, I just wanted to get this out to some people who don't really know me!

 

[bfeller]

A midlife crisis at 28? Absolutely not, unless you are only planning to live to be 56. You have plenty of time to change your life. You are young. Start first thing tomorrow, think about the changes you want to make today. A midlife crisis shouldn't happen until at least 50.

 

[mickey65]

Maybe not a mid-life crisis....but more an awaking of the spirit!

It is NEVER too later to make changes....follow your dreams....do what you were meant to do.....what gives you passion.

The fact that you can recognize that you are not totally satisfied with life the way it is, is the first step towards making your life what you want it to be. Ask yourself 'do I want to wake up 5...10 years from now and say what if?' You have that choice....but you are the only one that can make the changes, if that is what you want. The universe will presents us with opportunities, but if we don't do anything with them then we may continue to feel like we are 'lost'

A good book you may want to read is "In the Meantime' by Iyanla Vanzant. It talks about being right where you are right now.

Good luck to you

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh I can explain this well to you! You see every 10yrs you are "reborn", so to speak. Do not fear, you are perfectly "on track". I must warn you however that yes it may come with some pain. You are going to adjust your life in this year. The anxiety you feel is what will push you in that direction. You will become increasing frustrated with "I don't care one way or another" it becomes an urge so strong that you need to have firm clear answers. I think for women it becomes something like the Edgar Allen Poe story of the "Telltale Heart"
So do not worry, you are going to be fine.
BTW I am going to be 38 in Feb.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I remember when I was 29 I thought I was old. LOL! Wait until you're 43. At 43 I quit my job and went to college. I've only got 12 credits complete because they won't take my 2 years of school in NJ. It's NEVER too late. I'm okay being 43, I don't have a problem with the number. But this is the first that I have a problem with 50...it's ONLY 7 years away! THAT bothers me.

 

[cleo]

Oh, honey... the crisis that'll hit at mid-life is going to make this seem like a stroll down Main Street!

I agree with Mickey65. It's an awakening of the spirit and a great call to improving the things that have become ineffective for you. What a wonderful time of change! Good luck and go forward without fear.

 

[Tiggeroo]

am going back to school. Changing the way I do things in my house, changing my rules for my kids. I also felt this way. And I agree with the ten year cycle. Step back and re-shape what you don't like. You can do anything you want to do.

 

[luv2nascar]

Yep I agree with the ten year rule
I keep wondering were the last 8 yrs have gone that I have been with my DH
I kind of feel like I moved into his world & now finally after 8 yrs
we are buying our first home - dd is 7 & we three are venturing out into the world on our very own
We currently rent a family members home & live across the street from my DH's parents & grandma
It's finally all about us

Everything is changing for us in one way or another
so I feel I am at that 10 yr change
I feel really grown up (34 next month) & feel good about it
I actually feel like I am waking up from a dream & starting to get
back to normal???
weird feeling
I think I've also excepted the fact that there will not be any more children for us - our DD is really all we could ask for wonderful little girl. We have tried for 3-4 yrs with a miscarriage 1 - 1/2 yrs ago.

It's a bright big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of each day

 

[KaraKW]

Sounds like you're ready to take a gamble, Babar! This song sounds fitting for where you are in life right now...

The Gambler

On a warm summer's evenin', on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness,
'Til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said: "Son, I've made a life out of readin' people's faces,
"And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
"So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces.
"For a taste of your whiskey, I'll give you some advice."

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, his face lost all expression.
He said: "If you're gonna play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it right.

"You got to know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em,
"Know when to walk away; know when to run.
"You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
"There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

"Now ev'ry gambler knows the secret to survivin'.
"Is knowin' what to throw away, knowing what to keep.
"'Cos ev'ry hand's a winner and ev'ry hand's a loser,
"And the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep."

So when he'd finished speakin', he turned back toward the window:
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

"You got to know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em,
"Know when to walk away; know when to run.
"You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
"There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done..."

 

[LuvTigger]

Babar,

I think what you are feeling is quite common at that age. If you believe in astrology, one of my college teachers (when I was 29...took me 11 years to finally get a college degree!) told us that between the ages of 28-30 is very crucial because of the "Saturn return" which is how long it takes for Saturn to make a full rotation (or something like that!). We went around the room, and sure enough, between those ages, significant things happened to a lot of people. For me and a few others in my class, it was making the decision to go back to school and finish, for others, it was maybe getting married or having a child. My teacher said the next crucial point after that is around the age of 42 (she said a lot of people commit suicide at that age and that's how old Elvis was when he died!! ACK!).

I totally felt like I was going thru a mid-life crisis when I was 28(I'm now almost 32). At the time, besides starting school again, I was very dissatisfied with one job, which I left, then found another job which ended up being a great start and lead me to the job I'm in now, which I love.

Even with friends, at that point, I started feeling like maybe I'd outgrown my friends, like I was looking for something more while they were just happy with the status quo. At work, although at the time I was a clerical worker, I'd hang out with the attorneys because they were bigger thinkers and not as childish.

I think the best thing to do is to look at it as a sign of change and try to turn the feelings you have now into a positive energy, maybe for starters by putting feelers out for other jobs. I don't ever believe that it's too late, you can take control of the situation and make things better!

Feel free to PM me if you like, I can definitely relate to what you are feeling!

 

[goofygirl]

I also had a hard time with turning 29. Its around that time that you change a lot physcially as a female. I didnt burn fat and stay as thin as I used to during my teens and early/mid 20's. It was also a time when I started to no longer pass for a late teen as far as looks go. Teenagers could suddenly see that I was not one of "them", but older than them!
The Miss America contestants that fall were suddenly ALL YOUNGER THAN ME! They USED TO be older!
The fact that turning 30 was next really freaked me out!
Everyone calls it "the big three-oh!"
I also felt my life was in a lull, but things start to really move when I least expected it to, and I'm in a good place now. Keep the faith.

If you dont like your life, change it. You are not expected to like the same things at 30 that you liked at 20. You are a totally different person at 20 than 30. At least I was.

 

[BrerMom]

I had a very hard time turning 29, but have been fine with every birthday since.

If you want/need to make changes, do it! It's much better than living the rest of your life wondering about the "what if I had..."s.