Can Walmart make my son work Christmas Eve?

[NMAmy]

AGain, could you pleas direct me to where I said that the parents should set up the ride. Also in regards to being a moocher, I said this when a pp said that her child finds a way to work when she isn't available. By calling friends co workers and family, screams moocher to me. sounding to me like it is a fairly frequent thing.

Let me start this over again for everyone that seem to think I want parents to set it up.

My first response was to the pp that stated finding a way home from work at 17 was part of growing up. I disagree, if the kid works weather he wants to or not, it isn't really part of growing up. Lots of kid never have to ask for a ride to work from friends or co workers. If they do sometimes fine, BUT it isn't part of growing up. Again for the 5th time, I said the kid because he is under 18 is, in the end, the parents responsibility not anyone else's. Doesn't mean that they should set up a ride, it means that if the kid can't get a ride, they have to figure it out. Not the kid. This isn't soccer or hanging with a friend it is work the parents should be able to get the kid if no one else can, if they can't well then he doesn't need to be working.

Repeat after me, I NEVER SAID THE PARENT SHOULD SET UP HIS RIDE TO OR FROM WORK. I don't know where parents responsibility comes off as parent setting up ride to or from work. I am responsible for my DD getting to different places, but she will call and ask for a ride sometimes with a parents friend, but if they can't take her, guess what. MY RESPONSIBILITY.

I also never said that he should take off because it is Christmas eve, I worked many myself. I got myself home thank you. My parents let me use their car. I also said that it wouldn't kill him to wait until his parents got home from church. But then a pp said geez his parents have a life why should they mess up their plans, well BECAUSE HE IS YOUR SON. And why does someone else have to do your job by getting our kid home. Let me see, that screams entitlement to me, (another word along with snowflake that loves to get tossed around here at the Dis).

So to sum it up. No he shouldn't call in to work, he should go. He can wait for his parents if he can't find a ride, In the end he is under 18 he is the parent responsibility. Finding a ride home on Christmas eve isn't part of growing up. and last of all, I NEVER SAID THE PARENT SHOULD SET UP A RIDE FOR THE KID.

Merry Christmas.

I love a big batch of yelling with a Merry Christmas tacked on the end. The Merry Christmas makes it so festive. You are very antagonistic in your posting and I don't appreciate it.

Since you've decided to make an enormous deal out of this point, this is your post that has led me and many other posters on this thread to feel that you felt the parents should be setting up rides. If a great number of posters were having a hard time understanding what I was trying to communicate, I might rethink how I was to blame for that miscommunication instead of blaming their reading skills.

I knew this was going to come up, I should have addressed this. We always carpool, cheer practice, soccer, stuff like that. But I was responding to the pp that stated that for a child working a part time job on Christmas eve getting a ride home was part of growing up, NOPE. You arranged for a car pool to a sporting event or practice. I will arrange for that also, in fact today I will pick up my DD friend for cheer practice as I do every Tuesday. But that is in no way the same as someone saying that a child needs to find a way home from work on christmas eve as part of growing up.

If he he has a close friend or someone that lives in his area maybe, but to assume that this is a responsibility of a child is wrong. Yes he is 17, but still. He doesn't have a car apparently, he is working, legally he is still a minor. And as such, it is his parent responsibility, and they seem to know this.
.

 

[wvjules]

I once took a stand about getting off for Christmas Eve. My point was, if all the Jewish folks can get special permission to leave work early to get home before sundown (VERY common in NYC) they need to extend the same courtesy to me for my holiday, which also runs from sundown to sundown, hence Saturday evening services count for Sunday. They tried to pull the whole volume issue with me and I just stood my ground claiming it's not my problem that other people of my Faith don't observe their holiday or insist on it, I do and that's all that matters. If they are ok with letting others off for their holiday they need to do the same for me, the managers didn't dare push it any further than that.

Keep in mind there is always the possibility that a job can be terminated over this sort of thing, legally or not, so your son needs to be sure he can walk the walk if he's willing to talk the talk. In my case I just wasn't going to back down. Equal rights for everyone includes me and no-one was, or is, ever going to tell me different I'd fight for someone else so I'm definitely going to fight for myself too

I had no idea that Christmas ran sundown Christmas Eve to sundown Christmas day. I knew Jewish Holidays started at sundown, no idea Christian ones did too.

 

[RadioNate]

Yeah I didn't get that either? Doesn't he ever go out with friends that are driving? Hasn't a team mate or coach ever brought him home? I also do wonder what some of these parents are going to do when their kids go off to school in a few months.

Yep, I don't get it either. A 17 year old can't get into a car with anyone his parents don't know? And only the parent of a friend? I assume the OP has to know the parent and the friend. Color me confused.

I'm not advocating rides from complete strangers but I don't see a big issue with catching a ride with a co-worker who he has know for several months and with whom he has become friendly.

And it is ONE TIME. It isn't every time he works. Chronically, it becomes mooching. A one-off special circumstance is totally different.

I'm also going to confirm that the OP isn't a troll. But I would like her to answer: If a car-pool is out what is wrong with him hanging out a WalMart for a bit until church services are over? Also, I assume (stupid I know) that you are a 2 car family and again stupidly assume that a 17 year old would have a drivers license so why can't he borrow the unneeded car for work?

 

[luvsJack]

Ultimately it is the parents responsibility to make sure he gets home, I never said it was their responsibility to arrange a ride form someone else. He is under 18 so yep when the crap hits the fan it comes down on the parents. Why is it ok for him to depend on someone else and not his parents. I guess as long as you depend on someone else, that doesn't make you a snowflake? I need snowflake definitions.

I am out of this conversation now. If you (and general you) can't see the stupidity of sending a kid off to work and telling him basically, have a nice day dear, find your own way home, well then what can I say.

Not sure you are coming back mhsjax, but I totally agree with you. This kid is 17 and its going to be Christmas Eve, most everyone is going to be trying to hurry home and not wanting to deal with giving someone a ride home.

There is nothing wrong with his asking around but in the end its ultimately the parents responisilbity to make sure he has a way to and from work. That should be understood when someone tells their kid to get a job.

All the "options" that someone gave won't work for some people. Most wouldn't work for us. Waiting at WalMart : ours closes at 6 so its not like someone would be waiting at an open place of business, so it could be dangerous. No buses or taxies coming our way either. And our Walmart is not close enough to other businesses to go there (besides they are all closed by dark on Christmas Eve).

ETA: Yes, he does have to work if scheduled. Think about it this way, what if he calls in and they have to replace him with the single mom that was looking forward to having the evening with her children?

 

[bicker]

I had no idea that Christmas ran sundown Christmas Eve to sundown Christmas day. I knew Jewish Holidays started at sundown, no idea Christian ones did too.

They don't. That was a baseless assertion that is actually not true.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I once took a stand about getting off for Christmas Eve. My point was, if all the Jewish folks can get special permission to leave work early to get home before sundown (VERY common in NYC) they need to extend the same courtesy to me for my holiday, which also runs from sundown to sundown, hence Saturday evening services count for Sunday. They tried to pull the whole volume issue with me and I just stood my ground claiming it's not my problem that other people of my Faith don't observe their holiday or insist on it, I do and that's all that matters.

I believe that's bearing false witness. Christmas doesn't start at sundown one day and end at sundown the next (or any other) day. It begins at midnight and ends at midnight. It's most assuredly not a 36 hour holiday. Christmas Eve is NOT a holiday, legal or otherwise.

Jewish holidays, on the other hand, begin at sundown and end at sundown. Depending on the specific holiday, it may be one, two, or eight 24 hour periods - but always sundown to sundown.

Equal rights is one thing. Taking advantage is totally different.

 

[mhsjax]

Not sure you are coming back mhsjax, but I totally agree with you. This kid is 17 and its going to be Christmas Eve, most everyone is going to be trying to hurry home and not wanting to deal with giving someone a ride home.

There is nothing wrong with his asking around but in the end its ultimately the parents responisilbity to make sure he has a way to and from work. That should be understood when someone tells their kid to get a job.

All the "options" that someone gave won't work for some people. Most wouldn't work for us. Waiting at WalMart : ours closes at 6 so its not like someone would be waiting at an open place of business, so it could be dangerous. No buses or taxies coming our way either. And our Walmart is not close enough to other businesses to go there (besides they are all closed by dark on Christmas Eve).

ETA: Yes, he does have to work if scheduled. Think about it this way, what if he calls in and they have to replace him with the single mom that was looking forward to having the evening with her children?

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Finally someone gets exactly what I am saying.

 

[wvjules]

They don't. That was a baseless assertion that is actually not true.

I knew that. .

 

[bicker]

 

[mhsjax]

I didn't know that a memo would be necessary to dictate common sense.

It is just this one time.
It is a holiday.
Life happens.
Surely, especially at Christmas, he can call on some friends or a coworker for a single act of kindness.

Perhaps your son is not the most mature and/or independent 17 year old. I can totally understand that.
And, I can also see how it may hurt, that first holiday where life intrudes on childhood dreams and innocence.

But, to see a problem here, to the extent that you seem to.
(They just can't make my kid work.... He can't simply find a ride... or go with friends, etc...)


I am not issuing any personal attack here.
I really am not. ( I just have a way of being blunt and honest )
But, I do have to say that I do see validity to what these other posters are picking up on.

Sure he can. I agree with you 100%. What I don't agree with is the attitude that he must do this, it is part of growing up/ It has been implied that if he can't handle it then he will never be able to go away to college, talk about a stretch. I never once said that he couldn't work because he couldn't find a ride or any other excuse, I said repeatedly that he needs to work, he is scheduled, it is his job. but in the end, it is his parents responsibility to see that he gets home if he can't find a ride with someone. And when I mean see that he gets home, I don't mean call and set up a ride for him, but they need to come and get him if he can't drive for whatever reason, or they don't have an extra car for him to use.

I fail to see how him asking for a ride will enable him to grow up and go to college, he is asking for a ride, on a particular day that IMHO would be most inconvenient for most people. So I actually find it rude to assume that on Christmas eve that he should ask someone for a ride. I was just brought up not to depend on stuff like that. When mu parents made me get a job at 17, it was down town. Because of this, they make sure that I had a car to use, and not to depend on someone else.

FWIW, my dad carpooled all the time, but it was pre arranged and they switched off. But my dad didn't expect the kindness of others to do his job, when they told me that at 17 I would need to get a part time job. He also told me one Sunday after I had worked 9 hours on the Saturday before, that it was just too bad that I was tired, (what can I say, 17 year old. lol) I was scheduled to go to work and to work I went. I also worked many Christmas eves while in school and also Christmas day while married and before kids. My DH has worked more Christmas days and Thanksgiving days than he has been at home in the 25 years we have been married. Do I like it no, do I want him to try and get out of it, no.

I sure hope I have cleared this up. I am really tired of defending myself from those that seem to think that I think the child shouldn't work or that his parents need to arrange a ride home for him. I have never said those things, I never thought those things.

 

[mhsjax]

I didn't know that a memo would be necessary to dictate common sense.

It is just this one time.
It is a holiday.
Life happens.
Surely, especially at Christmas, he can call on some friends or a coworker for a single act of kindness.

Perhaps your son is not the most mature and/or independent 17 year old. I can totally understand that.
And, I can also see how it may hurt, that first holiday where life intrudes on childhood dreams and innocence.

But, to see a problem here, to the extent that you seem to.
(They just can't make my kid work.... He can't simply find a ride... or go with friends, etc...)


I am not issuing any personal attack here.
I really am not. ( I just have a way of being blunt and honest )
But, I do have to say that I do see validity to what these other posters are picking up on.

Ok totally not sure if you are talking to me about my son, or the op. My son is only 13. None of this applies to me yet, but you can be sure that when it does, he will work on Christmas eve if scheduled. And you better believe that I WON"T depend on others to get him home from his job on Christmas eve unless both os us are in the hospital.

 

[mhsjax]

I love a big batch of yelling with a Merry Christmas tacked on the end. The Merry Christmas makes it so festive. You are very antagonistic in your posting and I don't appreciate it.

Since you've decided to make an enormous deal out of this point, this is your post that has led me and many other posters on this thread to feel that you felt the parents should be setting up rides. If a great number of posters were having a hard time understanding what I was trying to communicate, I might rethink how I was to blame for that miscommunication instead of blaming their reading skills.

Sorry you feel that way. I think there is way too much for people to read, the skim through as we have all done and maybe misunderstand something. However when it turns ugly towards me, I will get ugly back. It is the way I roll. I don't appreciate it when people laugh at something I never said. So I guess we are even.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, sorry, my post was a little confusing/convoluted...
I have already corrected it where it sounds like it is your son being mentioned.

In a way, I can see what you are saying..
I am not trying to be difficult or contrary, or to flame anyone.

But, I think this, below, is where we just have to disagree.

.... And you better believe that I WON"T depend on others to get him home from his job on Christmas eve unless both os us are in the hospital.

I am sorry, but the implication that a nearly adult male must always depend on mama???????
Not one exception???

Perhaps you are not seeing how that is coming off????

And, try to tell a Corporation like Walmart that the employ that they hired and depend upon and signs the paycheck is not responsible for getting themselves to work.
A 17 year old who is old enough to have a drivers license.
Can take public transportation, carpool, etc....

I am very sorry if this comes as any surprise to you, but your arguments just simply do not fly.

Your son, who I am assuming is your oldest child, is still young..
Perhaps you are still seeing things thru that lense????

PS: My son, who is my only/oldest, is also turning 13....

 

[mhsjax]

Yes, my post was a little confusing/convoluted...
I have already corrected it where it sounds like it is your son being mentioned.

In a way, I can see what you are saying..
I am not trying to be difficult or contrary, or to flame anyone.

But, I think this, below, is where we just have to disagree.

No problem. I can handle that.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Thanks!

But note that I copied in further info to complete my post above....

 

[Robinrs]

The US is still 95% Christian.

Wow, even my FAMILY isn't 95% Christian!

Where I grew up most of the people I knew did NOT celebrate Christmas. It was only after I came South below the bible belt, did I see it as a "everybody" holiday. And I love it!

 

[cm8]

I once took a stand about getting off for Christmas Eve. My point was, if all the Jewish folks can get special permission to leave work early to get home before sundown (VERY common in NYC) they need to extend the same courtesy to me for my holiday, which also runs from sundown to sundown, hence Saturday evening services count for Sunday. They tried to pull the whole volume issue with me and I just stood my ground claiming it's not my problem that other people of my Faith don't observe their holiday or insist on it, I do and that's all that matters. If they are ok with letting others off for their holiday they need to do the same for me, the managers didn't dare push it any further than that.

Keep in mind there is always the possibility that a job can be terminated over this sort of thing, legally or not, so your son needs to be sure he can walk the walk if he's willing to talk the talk. In my case I just wasn't going to back down. Equal rights for everyone includes me and no-one was, or is, ever going to tell me different I'd fight for someone else so I'm definitely going to fight for myself too

Agreed! My Birthday is also Christmas Eve and EVERYTHING closes at 6. I always work my Bday and since we close early, it's not a anymore!

 

[NMAmy]

Sorry you feel that way. I think there is way too much for people to read, the skim through as we have all done and maybe misunderstand something. However when it turns ugly towards me, I will get ugly back. It is the way I roll. I don't appreciate it when people laugh at something I never said. So I guess we are even.

I was not rude to you. And I saw what you wrote BEFORE you edited this post and chose not to respond in kind. Definitely ugly and rude. I didn't laugh at you. You demanded in a lengthy diatribe that I point out the post which I (and Hannathy, as well, I noticed on my second read through) felt that you were saying that the parents should be setting up a ride for a 17 yo. I did show where people were getting confused although it was difficult since you've edited most every post you've made unless it was quoted.

And now that it's become clear that you're antagonistic on every thread, I'll steer clear.

 

[mhsjax]

Yes, sorry, my post was a little confusing/convoluted...
I have already corrected it where it sounds like it is your son being mentioned.

In a way, I can see what you are saying..
I am not trying to be difficult or contrary, or to flame anyone.

But, I think this, below, is where we just have to disagree.


I am sorry, but the implication that a nearly adult male must always depend on mama???????
Not one exception???

Perhaps you are not seeing how that is coming off????

And, try to tell a Corporation like Walmart that the employ that they hired and depend upon and signs the paycheck is not responsible for getting themselves to work.
A 17 year old who is old enough to have a drivers license.
Can take public transportation, carpool, etc....

I am very sorry if this comes as any surprise to you, but your arguments just simply do not fly.

Your son, who I am assuming is your oldest child, is still young..
Perhaps you are still seeing things thru that lense????

PS: My son, who is my only/oldest, is also turning 13....

Ok. OP, her son is 17. It is Christmas, it seems that normally they take him to work, they don't want to miss church. Yes he should work, yes they can come and get him, or he can ask if there is someone he knows or is getting off at the same time. If he doesn't ask it doesn't mean he is totally dependent on mom. Maybe there isn't anyone there that lives near him, maybe he doesn't really know anyone. Frankly, I wouldn't ask on this particular day. Any other day sure, as long as it wasn't a normal thing. It isn't other people's responsibility to get him to work, it is his responsibility. And bumming rides off of people isn't making him responsible IMHO. If the kid doesn't have a reliable mode of transportation, then he shouldn't work. Think about it, how many jobs have you seen that state, must have reliable transportation. This doesn't include relying on others.

For my kid. Well like I said only 13. Publix will hire at 14 and yes he will be applying there. It is right down the road. Too far to walk, and there are no buses here in our area, they just don't run down here. Now if he has to work, I will make sure that one of us is available to get him. I have heard many parents talk about having to go and get their kids at work. Until he learns to drive, and he will at 16. Then hopefully he will have a car to use or we again will have to get him. We are requiring him to work, I see no need in leaving him stranded. Now if he says he spoke with a friend and he want to ride home with him, no problem, and in an extreme emergency I will tell him to ask for a ride home with someone. But independence doesn't mean getting someone else to take him there, sure it may make him not so dependent on mom, but it makes him dependent on someone else. Same thing in my book.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Finally someone gets exactly what I am saying.

Hey....I was backing you up.