Can spouse have child baptised/confirmed without consent of other parent?

[minniebeth]

And I'm not denying any of that, but what you seem to be ignoring is that there will be exceptions, there will be cases where none of this would be investigated further. Or if it was investigated, it wouldn't matter what was found in that investigation, like if it is something similiar to the OPs situation.



OP, if you are bound and determined to make sure your child won't be baptized, go to the Priest and explain the situation. You may very well find they will agree with you, however be prepared that is also very possible they won't.

I'm talking about this case specifically. If this girl were to show any ounce that this is not what her mother's wishes or her wishes were, I would highly doubt that she would be forced by the church to proceed without them further looking into it.

I agree with your advice to the op. Again, I doubt a church would ever force this upon a child at the wish of her father knowing the situation.

 

[luvmy3]

I am not sure but I believe that if the child was a bay the Priest would Baptize her after the parent has met the requirements set up by the Parish. At the age this child is I think that the Priest would be looking for a commitment from the parent. In my Church the kids have to meet certain criteria prior to making their First Communion and while they may not have any say in their religious education they must participate in the program. I am guessing that in this case the child would have to be enrolled in the religious education program and be attending Mass with her dad.

I understand that the kids have no say in their religious training but I do think that as the kids get older the Priest is going to be at least talking to them to make sure that the parent asking for the Sacraments is actually participating. It is a requirement in our Church, no exceptions.parents must attend Mass and take the children to any classes etc.

That is not what Minniebeth and I are talking about though. I assume her and I would agree that the parent in this case would most definitelty have to be involved.

I'm talking about this case specifically. If this girl were to show any ounce that this is not what her mother's wishes or her wishes were, I would highly doubt that she would be forced by the church to proceed without them further looking into it.
I agree with your advice to the op. Again, I doubt a church would ever force this upon a child at the wish of her father knowing the situation.

We will just have to agree to disagree on this. Its obvious we have our own personal experiences with the Catholic Church that makes us feel the way we do

 

[DisneyScraps]

I guess the question is who gets to make that decision? What kind of custody agreement do you have? If you have joint custody then I would think that he has every right to do what he wants to do with the child as far as religion.

 

[Nancyg56]

That is not what Minniebeth and I are talking about though. I assume her and I would agree that the parent in this case would most definitelty have to be involved.

I am so sorry, I misunderstood

 

[luvmy3]

I am so sorry, I misunderstood

No need to be sorry, thats quite alright

 

[Nancyg56]

No need to be sorry, thats quite alright

I hope so because I have been doing that all day

 

[doxdogy]

According to Canon Law, the answer is no.

 

[minniebeth]

That is not what Minniebeth and I are talking about though. I assume her and I would agree that the parent in this case would most definitelty have to be involved.



We will just have to agree to disagree on this. Its obvious we have our own personal experiences with the Catholic Church that makes us feel the way we do

Agree on both points.

 

[westcoastwannabe]

No custody agreement, since no formal separation yet.
He switched churches to do this since it was obvious at his previous church that he did not attend Mass for the past 16 years.
He is doing this A) as a promise to his deceased mother
B) since I am opposed to it.
We had taken DD9 out of weekday religious classes at school since she was missing much loved electives to attend.
I am opposed to this due in part to exclusionary things like non-Catholics unable to take part in communion even though it is a Christian rite, and the previous history of the church in the pedophilia scandals, the Holocaust, etc. I'm biased on both of the last points due to allegations in the family of sexual abuse, and my own very diverse ethnic heritage.

 

[DisneyScraps]

No custody agreement, since no formal separation yet.
He switched churches to do this since it was obvious at his previous church that he did not attend Mass for the past 16 years.
He is doing this A) as a promise to his deceased mother
B) since I am opposed to it.
We had taken DD9 out of weekday religious classes at school since she was missing much loved electives to attend.
I am opposed to this due in part to exclusionary things like non-Catholics unable to take part in communion even though it is a Christian rite, and the previous history of the church in the pedophilia scandals, the Holocaust, etc. I'm biased on both of the last points due to allegations in the family of sexual abuse, and my own very diverse ethnic heritage.

You are opposed to it, doesn't he get a say in how the child is raised?

 

[westcoastwannabe]

She has previously attended church with me at other churches, and with both of us at other churches. He is doing this since it is against my wishes. If I thought it genuinely came from his heart, my opposition would be minimal. Using her as a pawn is another matter. He is abusive, controlling, and has a criminal past I did not know about until fairly recently.

 

[bluesaturn]

No custody agreement, since no formal separation yet.
He switched churches to do this since it was obvious at his previous church that he did not attend Mass for the past 16 years.
He is doing this A) as a promise to his deceased mother
B) since I am opposed to it.
We had taken DD9 out of weekday religious classes at school since she was missing much loved electives to attend.
I am opposed to this due in part to exclusionary things like non-Catholics unable to take part in communion even though it is a Christian rite, and the previous history of the church in the pedophilia scandals, the Holocaust, etc. I'm biased on both of the last points due to allegations in the family of sexual abuse, and my own very diverse ethnic heritage.

Most churches will require him to show some commitment before they will allow your daughter to do the sacraments. They'll have to go to mass, she'll have to go to CCD, etc. Sounds like with his track record, he'll never put in the effort to actually attend church long enough to fulfill the requirements.

I'm confused about your concern regarding Catholic involvement in the Holocaust. Not because I'm trying to convince you to like Catholicism or anything, I'm just unaware of what Catholics were doing during the Holocaust that you don't like?

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

i would think that as long as he has custody, even joint, then he is free to have his child baptized.

+1

 

[westcoastwannabe]

My mother and maternal grandparents were Catholic at one point. So I have some personal history there.
As for the church history, I'll just say "google", and leave it at that.
And I see this getting locked in the future, didn't intend a church debate, just "can he do this" and from my conversation with DD9 today it sounds like it is under duress.
Thanks to all who responded with advice and opinions.

 

[Mkrop]

No custody agreement, since no formal separation yet.
He switched churches to do this since it was obvious at his previous church that he did not attend Mass for the past 16 years.
He is doing this A) as a promise to his deceased mother
B) since I am opposed to it.
We had taken DD9 out of weekday religious classes at school since she was missing much loved electives to attend.
I am opposed to this due in part to exclusionary things like non-Catholics unable to take part in communion even though it is a Christian rite, and the previous history of the church in the pedophilia scandals, the Holocaust, etc. I'm biased on both of the last points due to allegations in the family of sexual abuse, and my own very diverse ethnic heritage.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Catholics are not excluding you from Communion. We believe differently than other faiths about what actually happens. We believe in transubstantiation. Which means we believe that the bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Jesus, unlike many other faiths which see it more of a symbol. WHY would you participate in a sacrament that you do not believe in???? I am not going into another nonCatholic Church and receiving Communion just because I may be invited bc what I believe in in my faith has not happened to that bread and wine.

 

[Art 1]

No custody agreement, since no formal separation yet.
He switched churches to do this since it was obvious at his previous church that he did not attend Mass for the past 16 years.
He is doing this A) as a promise to his deceased mother
B) since I am opposed to it.
We had taken DD9 out of weekday religious classes at school since she was missing much loved electives to attend.
I am opposed to this due in part to exclusionary things like non-Catholics unable to take part in communion even though it is a Christian rite, and the previous history of the church in the pedophilia scandals, the Holocaust, etc. I'm biased on both of the last points due to allegations in the family of sexual abuse, and my own very diverse ethnic heritage.

What electives are more important than usually once per week CCD classes?

 

[bluesaturn]

What electives are more important than usually once per week CCD classes?

Probably all of them if you don't believe in what is taught in CCD.

 

[Debbie7452]

Just for the record, in my area of Texas, Confirmation is done in 11th grade and the teachers stress this is the teens free choice to choose their faith. They took three years of classes so a lot of prep is involved.

 

[westcoastwannabe]

Probably all of them if you don't believe in what is taught in CCD.

Actually she is gifted in art, and has won several awards for her artwork. It seemed she was missing a great deal of her art classes, and was upset about it. She was involved in the decision to leave the WRE classes.

 

[Art 1]

Probably all of them if you don't believe in what is taught in CCD.

Then you wouldn't put them in CCD in the first place, I would think.

My wife is a volunteer teacher at a large Catholic church, in fact First Communion has been going on these last few weeks. They have classes once a week, sometimes two but not often. It's sad to hear how often parents put a sports event in front of religion, but not really surprising.