Can I just vent for a minute?????

[tigercat]

When I had my 4 kids I was 24 by the time I finished. I am not tall at all and I really looked young (like 12 or 13). I got stared at all the time especially after I had had my 4th. I even got into the movie theater for a childs fare when I was 7 months pregnant with my 3rd. I didn't realize it until I was in the theater because I had paid in cash and had received my change. It was wrong. Also, when I tried to find a wedding dress (before all the kids) we couldn't find anyone to help us in the stores. They refused and said that they wouldn't help a minor get married. My dsis finally made it for me.
tigercat

 

[clh2]

My 15 YO DD can relate...she went to the state fair with her cousin (who is in her late 20's) cousin's husband, and cousin's 3year old triplets and cousin's 6 month old baby.

At times (i.e. when the cousin's where taking the triplets to the bathroom, DD was with the baby alone. Many people asked DD if the baby was hers. And, there were many who just stared and shook their heads.

All I can say is - wow - some people are just rude!

 

[Maridw]

When I was 29 and lived in England, I worked in the bowling center at the base we were at. To some of the kids (17 & 18 year olds) in the housing area, I was "Mom". They all stopped by our house and hung out and a couple of them used to babysit my DD.

One day one of the girls came in to the bowling center and yelled "Hey Mom". A couple of the people that did not know us got this funny look on their face. I have always looked young for my age. When I was 28 people thought I was 21. So at 30, they thought I was too young to have an 17 or 18 yo.

Later on we had a laugh about it.

For about 10 weeks, while I was living with my parents, we had to take care of my sister's 4 kids. The oldest was 10 and the youngest was 4, plus my DD who was 4. When we would go out shopping with them, the looks that I got at 30 with what looked like 5 kids. To top it all off, my DD looked like her cousins enough to be their sister. My mom & I would just laugh to ourselves.

 

[scottishduffy]

As a college nanny I got quite a few of these comments. The girls, Lily and Sam, lived in a very nice area and I got some very snide remarks from people who assumed.

Every Saturday Sam had her girl scout meeting so I would take Lily (age 3) to a park nearby. I was 23 at the time but was always mistaken for around 16-17. I always got dirty looks from a group of Mom's there. Some of the mothers would not even allow their kids to play with Lily because they thought she was mine. One other 4 yr old told me that "I cant play with her cause my mommy says you made bad choices".

Another time Lily had been happily playing. Her friend went across the monkey bars so Lily called me to help her get across the monkey bars. I went over and helped and this other girls mom suddenly comes over and removes the friend to another section of the playground. With the admonition as she was leaving that she hoped my child didnt suffer because of my stupidity to have her so young. Both girls were confused by this.

The grandparents who chauferred kids to playgrounds, the dads, and other people never cared who Lily came with. The mom's were very judgemental and perhaps afraid some 'teen-skank' vibe would rub off on the child. I always dressed very conservatively and never had crazy ahir, but still they shunned me. The mom's never spoke to me and stayed away. Oh well, I met some lovely grandparents of some great little girls there and Lily eventually had some regular friends at the playground (and the grandparents who knew me for more then 2 minutes knew I was her nanny).

How sad that is is easier to assume I am teen parent than a nanny.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I find life got much easier when I stopped caring what other people think about me.

Mine, too!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I don't care what people think but I am constantly amazed that people feel the need to pass judgment.

We were looking at colleges with my one DSD. She had just turned 17. We were at breakfast one morning with DSD, DH and our then 5 yo. The waitress asked my DSD what her daughter wanted for breakfast. DSD was like !!! When the waitress realized her error (compliments of DSD correcting her) she then responded "Wow. Now I know what my family looks like. I have a little girl her age and my DD is older than you. I wonder if people think the same thing about us?" Okay, we really need a head slapping smilie on the dis boards.

 

[mickeylove2]

When I was 19 and in the hospital having my oldest, 1 of the nurses asked me if I wanted to speak with a social worker about the adoption options I had! I lost it!!!! I graduated hs early, moved out of my parents home, had my own home and car, had a job (I was military) and this old hag thought that she was obligated to educate me about putting my child up for adoption! The nerve of some people! OTOH, I have fun when I, and my sisters, go out in public with my kids and nieces and nephews. My sisters and I have a great time laughing about it. We are all around the same age, 27, 30 and 32. And the kids ages, from oldest to youngest- G8, B8, B7, G6, G6, B5, B5, G3, B2, G2, B7months.

 

[Deffenm]

I can relate but in a different way. Our children are adopted. We have 2 blond hair, blue eye kids and one bi-racial child. Both my husband and I have dark hair. You should see people trying to figure us out and the looks they make.

I don't mind if they make comments to me but when they make comments to my kids I have a major issue.

One time at the kids' soccer game someone come up to my son and ask him if he was lost and why he was hanging out with a stranger. My son looked at them, then me and said, I am sitting with my mom I am not lost. You should have seen the look on their face. He then yells at them, he is adopted he doesn't look like me but I am his mom.

He told me he was tired of people making comments. I told him he never had to explain to anyone and to just ignore them.

My kids have been through a lot in their young lives and I hate that they have to hear comments from adults who should mind their own business.