Can I have a retirement party without booze?

[Zerosinthecloset]

I'm sorry if this comes out the wrong way, but I would be concerned going into retirement and not being able to afford maybe a case of beer and a couple of 1.5 litres of wine.

 

[Bob NC]

I'm sorry if this comes out the wrong way, but I would be concerned going into retirement and not being able to afford maybe a case of beer and a couple of 1.5 litres of wine.

Well, at least you said you were sorry FIRST.

 

[goofy4tink]

I live in NE....I think we are a pretty classy group of folks here....not just on LI!! BUT...I have to tell you....I would have the kind of party I wanted to have and if people wanted to 'talk about it' later, or bad mouth me, then fine, have at it.
I would put those couple of bottles of wine on each table. And if people felt they had to have more than that to drink? Well they can just belly up to the bar and pay for it themselves. I would much rather spend the money on better food offerings.
The only time I've ever heard anyone complain about having to pay for their drinks at a function were the really cheap people....the ones who don't drink unless it's paid for by someone else. Or they nurse the same drink for a long time. And I'm sorry....you should be drinking the same whether you pay for it or not.

 

[okeydokey]

I'm sorry if this comes out the wrong way, but I would be concerned going into retirement and not being able to afford maybe a case of beer and a couple of 1.5 litres of wine.

It really depends on the place. At most function facilities, you cannot just buy a case of beer and bring it in. You can pay for a beer at the place at 6-8 each. A case could cost you a couple of hundred when you add tip. One person could have 3 or 4 beers in the course of the night and now that 200 case maybe only serves 6 or 7 of your invited guests. Alcohol for a party like this can easily run you 800 or 1000.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Host the party that you can afford. It is rude to invite people to a party and then expect them to pay for part of the party.

Since you can't host at your house, you have some options:
1. Invite fewer people so you can afford to have some wine on tables.
2. Go to a "cheaper" place so you can afford to have some wine/pitchers of beer.
3. Wait until it is warmer and host it outside in your backyard.
4. Have the meal at the restaurant and when server takes drink orders have him announce "could I get you coffee, tea, iced tea, a soft drink?"
5. Have a preset menu. Type this up at home--list the options for meals, along with the options for drinks. Have a copy at each place for guests to look over and they will see the drink options do not include alcohol.

 

[Jennasis]

I'm sorry if this comes out the wrong way, but I would be concerned going into retirement and not being able to afford maybe a case of beer and a couple of 1.5 litres of wine.

It's a might big gap between "a case of beer and a couple of 1.5litres of wine" and an open bar, financially speaking.

OP, could you describe the party to us. It sounds like it is in your home. Is it being catered by an outside company? Are you serving a sit down meal or a buffet?

The cost for alcohol for only 30 people shouldn't be too bad, particularly if you just do beer/wine. I see no need to offer a bar of any kind. For 30 people, two cases of beer and two or three bottles of wine should suffice and it could be self-serve. Forget the mixed drinks and hard liquor.

In the end, do what you are comfortable with and can afford.

 

[okeydokey]

It's a might big gap between "a case of beer and a couple of 1.5litres of wine" and an open bar, financially speaking.

OP, could you describe the party to us. It sounds like it is in your home. Is it being catered by an outside company? Are you serving a sit down meal or a buffet?

The cost for alcohol for only 30 people shouldn't be too bad, particularly if you just do beer/wine. I see no need to offer a bar of any kind. For 30 people, two cases of beer and two or three bottles of wine should suffice and it could be self-serve. Forget the mixed drinks and hard liquor.

In the end, do what you are comfortable with and can afford.

I believe the OP said the party was not in her home, as her home was only 4 rooms and too small.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

I don't think you provided enough information for people to be able to give you good answers.

Is your party at a restaurant or other venue? If it's at a restaurant and alcohol is already readily available, then I think that a cash bar is appropriate. If they want to purchase alcohol, why stop them? But if it is in a ballroom or somewhere that requires you to hire someone to set up a bar, I would suggest forgoing the alcohol. If they don't see it, there's a good chance they won't even think about it... hopefully your guests aren't going to the party just to get schwasty. If you feel like the option of alcohol is an absolute must, I'd suggest seeing if you could pre-purchase one drink for each guest and using vouchers for them to redeem. Talk with the bartender/venue about options. You could also see about getting a limited bar menu or just ordering wine, champagne, or beer for your guests.

If the party is at your house or on private property where there are no serving restrictions, then I think that a cash bar is absolutely tacky. Either serve alcohol or don't, but asking for compensation for the booze you bought for them is a bit ridiculous, and I think most people will remember/be shocked at that. Like others have mentioned, you can find reasonably priced liquor, beer, and wine to serve. Or you could just not serve.

Honestly, there are a lot of options and a lot of opinions, but in the end, you should just do what you feel comfortable with.

 

[mjkacmom]

I live in NE....I think we are a pretty classy group of folks here....not just on LI!! BUT...I have to tell you....I would have the kind of party I wanted to have and if people wanted to 'talk about it' later, or bad mouth me, then fine, have at it.
I would put those couple of bottles of wine on each table. And if people felt they had to have more than that to drink? Well they can just belly up to the bar and pay for it themselves. I would much rather spend the money on better food offerings.
The only time I've ever heard anyone complain about having to pay for their drinks at a function were the really cheap people....the ones who don't drink unless it's paid for by someone else. Or they nurse the same drink for a long time. And I'm sorry....you should be drinking the same whether you pay for it or not.

You ARE the NE, but you are not in the NYC metro area. Things are very different here (have family in central MA - went to a backyard wedding with a porta-potty. Had a great time, but you wouldn't see that here. We don't have cash bars.

It's a very small geographic area that tends to do things a little differently than other areas, and LI is there. I think the OP knows things are different here, which is why she asked the question.

 

[SpecialK]

I'm nowhere near LI and we serve alcohol at our parties as well. I don't know why LI is seen as so different in that regard.

That said, if I wasn't having an open bar, I'd have a luncheon rather than a dinner and have a couple bottles of wine on each table.

 

[ArwenMarie]

Who are they going to talk to? Are they going to run home and post it on the Dis? Is there a Long Island message board or The Long Island Scarlet Letter Gazette that they post on? Are people honestly that concerned with alcohol (which I enjoy, btw) that they would go to a party for a few hours without it and then ***** or "talk" about it for days to come?

Are you seriously asking "who are they going to talk to"?

 

[ArwenMarie]

Not serving alcohol in this area of the country would be just as odd as not serving dessert at a party. Both would be unusual, and some folks would probably wonder the reason (AA, weight watchers...). I have noticed a decline in the full open bar at parties, but every function (including auctions, beefsteaks, political teas, Mary Kay parties) at least wine and beer (and dessert) are served.

Yes, exactly.

Also, I've noticed the same about the open bar...those have almost gone away except for wedding receptions, but the beer and wine has stayed.

 

[ArwenMarie]

I'm nowhere near LI and we serve alcohol at our parties as well. I don't know why LI is seen as so different in that regard.

That said, if I wasn't having an open bar, I'd have a luncheon rather than a dinner and have a couple bottles of wine on each table.

This is a good point...I even think a luncheon without alcohol is fine...

I think a party in the evening/dinner without even beer or wine would be odd. Honestly, I would be wondering if the people were in AA as well, and not in a disparaging way.

 

[goofy4tink]

You ARE the NE, but you are not in the NYC metro area. Things are very different here (have family in central MA - went to a backyard wedding with a porta-potty. Had a great time, but you wouldn't see that here. We don't have cash bars.

It's a very small geographic area that tends to do things a little differently than other areas, and LI is there. I think the OP knows things are different here, which is why she asked the question.

Okay, no way am I, or any of my friends, going to be putting porta-potties in our back yards for our parties!!
I really don't think that anyone should feel that because of where they live, they need to spend money they don't have, or on something they don't feel the need to spend it on. People like free booze...plain and simple. But I have no issue with providing a meal for my guests, that includes some wine on the tables. Or even the possibility of wine and beer being covered by you at the bar but other alcohol is paid for by the guest.
But really prefer to have a few bottles on the table and allow people to pay for anything else they may want.

 

[luvmy3]

This is a good point...I even think a luncheon without alcohol is fine...

I think a party in the evening/dinner without even beer or wine would be odd.

So what if the OP's party is odd. I'm all for alcohol at parties, but in the grand scheme of things its not really a big deal if there isn't. If these people want to talk about it after, then let them. If they don't ever want to come to another party the OP hosts, then they can go on their drinking binge somewhere else on the night that OP has her next party.

 

[ArwenMarie]

So what if the OP's party is odd. I'm all for alcohol at parties, but in the grand scheme of things its not really a big deal if there isn't. If these people want to talk about it after, then let them. If they don't ever want to come to another party the OP hosts, then they can go on their drinking binge somewhere else on the night that OP has her next party.

I think the OP wrote the initial question because she does care what people think. Which is a normal, human thing to do.

I mean, you could take this argument to its natural endpoint...why have dessert, why have appetizers, why even have soda, just serve tap water it's free, why serve meat, just serve some oatmeal, who cares what people think! LOL

 

[cluvsdisney]

If you want to serve/offer alcohol, I think the host should pay for it. OP, You know your guests and can probably guess their expectations based on previous events with them. Have you ever attended a party with any of them where you had to pay for drinks? Do you all tend to have drinks for celebrations? What do they tend to drink? Beer? Wine? Mixed drinks? Talk to the restaurant about packages, they usually have levels of offerings with corresponding prices.

 

[luvmy3]

I think the OP wrote the initial question because she does care what people think. Which is a normal, human thing to do.

I mean, you could take this argument to its natural endpoint...why have dessert, why have appetizers, why even have soda, just serve tap water it's free, why serve meat, just serve some oatmeal, who cares what people think! LOL

Yeah, that's the natural endpoint But hey if you want to play that game.........
The OP could just ask each individual what they want to eat/drink at her party and be sure she serves it. I mean if its not good enough to just serve some food and some drinks then clearly she needs to provide everything that could by wanted be each and every guest. We wouldn't want anyone talking about how there wasn't XYZ offered.

The OP is a having a party. She is providing food and drinks. So I say it again, who cares that there isn't alcohol served, except the lushes of course

 

[Mkrop]

It's really not fair for people who don't live in this area to say it's perfectly fine to have a cash bar at a party. The OP is on LI - I have friends and family there, have been to several parties and weddings, and a cash bar is unheard of. Sure, the OP can do whatever she wants, but yes, there will be talk.

OP, I live in NJ, and I've noticed a trend of having beer/wine only, instead of open bar. I think that would be a nice compromise. I would have it flowing though - a bottle will only give you 6 small glasses of wine.

I am outside of Philly and would find it odd if there was no alcohol at a retirement party. But if you can not afford some, like the suggestion of wine on the tables, I would go without alcohol all together. Cash bar is tacky imho.

 

[mrsstats]

OP here. Looking to have it in a restaurant with a separate room. It would be a buffet. Without liquor it is $30 per person. With an open bar $20 per person more. I have saved my own money from Christmas bonus, overtime etc to pay for this. The extra $20 per person would be over my budget. Since my husband does not drink (his choice, does not have a drinking problem) I don't feel the need for liquor. This would be a party in the afternoon, not at night. '

Putting bottle of wine on the table would not be allowed.

Maybe I should just take the money and take him to Foxwood.