Can I have a retirement party without booze?

[gina2000]

Well, you asked..... and people pretty much have indicated that a party without liquor would be odd. It would be odd here also especially if the restaurant served liquor.

Maybe a different venue would be cheaper? If you could find a BYOB, it wouldn't be costly and you would be able to serve wine on tables.

 

[krcit]

OP here. Looking to have it in a restaurant with a separate room. It would be a buffet. Without liquor it is $30 per person. With an open bar $20 per person more. I have saved my own money from Christmas bonus, overtime etc to pay for this. The extra $20 per person would be over my budget. Since my husband does not drink (his choice, does not have a drinking problem) I don't feel the need for liquor. This would be a party in the afternoon, not at night. '

Putting bottle of wine on the table would not be allowed.

Maybe I should just take the money and take him to Foxwood.

Could you just pay by drink? If it's an afternoon party, I wouldn't think that as many people would drink and instead of $20 a person more, you would just pay for any drinks ordered. I'm not sure if I'm explaining what I mean clearly...lol.

 

[Tozzie]

OP here. Looking to have it in a restaurant with a separate room. It would be a buffet. Without liquor it is $30 per person. With an open bar $20 per person more. I have saved my own money from Christmas bonus, overtime etc to pay for this. The extra $20 per person would be over my budget. Since my husband does not drink (his choice, does not have a drinking problem) I don't feel the need for liquor. This would be a party in the afternoon, not at night. '

Putting bottle of wine on the table would not be allowed.

Maybe I should just take the money and take him to Foxwood.

What I would do is have the party at the restaurant without the booze.

Can you afford or will the restaurant even do a champagne toast if not that is no biggie either.

If people want they can go to the restaurant bar and get a drink and pay for it.

Yes, I am from NYC and while it is different it wouldn't be un heard of and it being in the afternoon wouldn't be that bad.

 

[Kellydelly]

I would pick a cheaper venue (there must be something cheaper, especially if you don't do it on a Friday or Saturday). I would serve alcohol, but you don't have to. The servers can let your guests know that the hosts are covering soft drinks and coffee and tea only.

 

[SpecialK]

OP here. Looking to have it in a restaurant with a separate room. It would be a buffet. Without liquor it is $30 per person. With an open bar $20 per person more. I have saved my own money from Christmas bonus, overtime etc to pay for this. The extra $20 per person would be over my budget. Since my husband does not drink (his choice, does not have a drinking problem) I don't feel the need for liquor. This would be a party in the afternoon, not at night. '

Putting bottle of wine on the table would not be allowed.

Maybe I should just take the money and take him to Foxwood.

I wouldn't pay an additional $20 for a cash bar for an afternoon party. I also don't find the idea of an alcohol-free party odd. You're inviting close friends and family, right? I assume they know your husband is a non-drinker? Have the party the way you want to, and enjoy yourself.

 

[Help Please!]

Nope.

 

[ksjayhawks]

OP here. Looking to have it in a restaurant with a separate room. It would be a buffet. Without liquor it is $30 per person. With an open bar $20 per person more. I have saved my own money from Christmas bonus, overtime etc to pay for this. The extra $20 per person would be over my budget. Since my husband does not drink (his choice, does not have a drinking problem) I don't feel the need for liquor. This would be a party in the afternoon, not at night. '

Putting bottle of wine on the table would not be allowed.

Maybe I should just take the money and take him to Foxwood.

The bolded information would have been nice to include in your original post. It changes my response.

You are fine not to serve alcohol. When you send the invitations, write something along the lines of

Please be my guest at a luncheon honoring dh's retirement from xxxx company.

Date: xxx
Time: y to z p.m.
Location: zzz restaurant

Luncheon will consist of a buffet, dessert, and coffee, ice tea, and soft drinks.

RSVP: xx

 

[anniemae]

It is fine just the way you are planning it. Especially since it is a lunch.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Since it is at a restaurant and in the afternoon, I think you will be fine.

I would go with ksjayhawks suggestion on the invite that way people KNOW in advance you are not paying for alcohol drinks so you avoid any confusion at the party.

(ETA...my fingers did not burn off as I typed ksjayhawks, just as an FYI. Signed Mizzou Grad.)

 

[Mkrop]

Could you just pay by drink? If it's an afternoon party, I wouldn't think that as many people would drink and instead of $20 a person more, you would just pay for any drinks ordered. I'm not sure if I'm explaining what I mean clearly...lol.

This...I would inquire if the restaurant would be willing to do this, if not than dont serve alcohol or look for a different venue

 

[eliza61]

Have not read all the replies but.

Yes, you most definitely can have a party without booze. I have done it and folks have a wonderful time.

I am constantly amazed that grown folks can't go 4 hours without having alcohol withdrawal. LOL
I have 4th of July barbeques. I rarely serve alcohol. once in a while I serve wine coolers but generally it's soda, lemonaide, sweet tea and water.

We eat, party and then around 10 pm drive to watch the fireworks. no one has complained yet (well at least not to my face.LOL)

Word of warning op, I tend to get flamed for this on the dis so you may not want to take my advice

 

[DisneyWalle]

I have lived all over, including in the northeast.

I have never been to a party with or without alcohol where we "talked" afterwards about the host being anything other than gracious for having us.

A lot of these responses just floor me. You HAVE to have alcohol????? You HAVE to have an open bar????? You HAVE to have beer and wine, at least????

If this is the way your friends and family feel, well, I wouldn't be inviting anyone like this to one of my parties.

I agree! If someone was going to talk about me because I didn't serve something at my party -- then they aren't someone I care to have in my life or around me. I feel for everyone that feels that have to please "people" because they may "talk" cause you didn't serve alcohol. My word, if you need a drink that bad, go to your local liquor store and stay at your house and drink til your heart is content. And don't worry what someone serves at their own party -- for it is their party and not yours.

 

[luvmy3]

OP here. Looking to have it in a restaurant with a separate room. It would be a buffet. Without liquor it is $30 per person. With an open bar $20 per person more. I have saved my own money from Christmas bonus, overtime etc to pay for this. The extra $20 per person would be over my budget. Since my husband does not drink (his choice, does not have a drinking problem) I don't feel the need for liquor. This would be a party in the afternoon, not at night. '

Putting bottle of wine on the table would not be allowed.

Maybe I should just take the money and take him to Foxwood.

I know in your OP you asked about a cash bar. That would mean that in your separate room there would be a bar set up for guests to purchase drinks. I would not do that.
In your party situation it is perfectly acceptable to not provide free alcohol to your guests. If any of them want a drink, they can go to the restaurant bar and purchase one themselves. I doubt anyone will be "talking" about you after.

And FTR, I am from an area where open bars at weddings are the norm, and alcohol being served at all kinds of parties is too. However, that doesn't mean there aren't occasions where it isn't provided for free by the host. I don't know anyone who has ever had an issue with that.

 

[mom2rtk]

(ETA...my fingers did not burn off as I typed ksjayhawks, just as an FYI. Signed Mizzou Grad.)

LOL, I would have had the same issue. My husband graduated from UMKC and we're about to send one off to Rolla.

 

[DawnM]

If you normally have alcohol at your functions, I would say you can't NOT have it here.

With only 30 people you could do just beer and wine and not have a bartender or someone serving.

 

[Bren's Mom]

You are fine not to serve alcohol. When you send the invitations, write something along the lines of

Please be my guest at a luncheon honoring dh's retirement from xxxx company.

Date: xxx
Time: y to z p.m.
Location: zzz restaurant

Luncheon will consist of a buffet, dessert, and coffee, ice tea, and soft drinks.

RSVP: xx

OP, this is exactly how I would handle it.

If *I* got an invite like this and dh or I really wanted a drink we'd bring cash and ask the waitress to get us one (and pay cash) or head up to the bar ourselves. (Although in the middle of the day this is unlikely.)

 

[Bob NC]

You are fine not to serve alcohol. When you send the invitations, write something along the lines of

Please be my guest at a luncheon honoring dh's retirement from xxxx company.

Date: xxx
Time: y to z p.m.
Location: zzz restaurant

Luncheon will consist of a buffet, dessert, and coffee, ice tea, and soft drinks.

RSVP: xx

Maybe you should also mention whether or not there will be a vegetarian offering on the buffet.

Will there be a sugar free dessert offering?

If you are inviting me to a retirement party all you really need to tell me is the date and time.

Does anyone here honestly think people will refuse to attend your husbands retirement party because you aren't providing booze?

 

[jrmasm]

I would think it was a little odd to be invited to a celebratory party that didn't have alcohol. That said, I'd prefer no alcohol to a cash bar. I think it's incredibly rude to invite people then offer them something that they have to pay for.

 

[shoney]

Long Island lush here...

Alcohol is served at parties in our circle.

You could certainly do what you want for your party!

You know your friends and family best...do you think they would enjoy a beer or glass of wine?

Other options:

1. have a brunch. many places include mimosas and bloody marys.

2. switch to a more affordable restaurant. I've been to many parties at small local Italian restaurants because they tend to be more affordable and offer beer/wine packages. I have a communion to go to soon. The host picked this restaurant because it fit her budget.

http://www.mauriciosrestaurant.com/catering.html

Of course, I realize that you may not live anywhere near here...but I was just giving you an idea of what is out there if you search.

Good Luck...Have fun and Congrats to your DH!


adding: 15 years ago I had my DH's 30th here...it was a lot cheaper then...but again it was all I could afford!
http://www.kpsearch.com/DF/CornerGalleyNEW/all.asp?action=lunchparty

I went to a wedding (second marriage) here...
http://www.the-blue-lagoon.com/Contract.htm

 

[mrsklamc]

I'm sorry if this comes out the wrong way, but I would be concerned going into retirement and not being able to afford maybe a case of beer and a couple of 1.5 litres of wine.

She said it's not in her budget; people seem to forget that that is not necessarily the same thing as 'I can't afford.'