Can I have a retirement party without booze?

[ArwenMarie]

These things greatly vary by region I've found. When I was living in northern CA, potlucks and BYOBs were popular. Here...I would never send out an invite for a potluck party or BYOB. Eastern Canada seems big on the cash bar party...even for weddings etc. So these things do vary.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

If enough people stop serving alcohol at parties it will start to become the norm. Open bars weren't always the norm. More and more people had them, and that is when it became an expectation.

OP, do what you can afford. Just make it clear on the invite. People should understand. After all, you are now living on a retiree budget! :thumbsup

 

[Bob NC]

Of course it's not a state law, don't be silly!

Just that people might talk, that's all. I know these things vary by region greatly. With a small party of only 30 people, obviously, the people would be closer and less likely to talk, but on the other hand, with only thirty, it wouldn't be as hard to provide something.

JMHO!

People might talk? What people?

I really think I fell out of the loop somewhere.

 

[kirstenb1]

We have a small house and it easily fits 30 people. I'd order food from a caterer, and then just set up a small drink table with the basics and have it at home.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Of course its OK! Do whatever you want, its your party!!

 

[ilovemk76]

I would like to have a small retirement party for my husband (30 people, mostly family) However, the cost to add alcohol to the party puts it out of my price range. Would it be ok just to have a cash bar??

Why do you have to go to a facility for a party? Have it in your back yard with a keg.

 

[ArwenMarie]

People might talk? What people?

I really think I fell out of the loop somewhere.

The people on the Dis Boards...kidding!

The people at the party.

But yes, one shouldn't care and just have the party you want. I don't even drink and I would love to go to a family party without alcohol so I wouldn't have to watch my FIL's wife get drunk and spout off her mouth for the 100th time

 

[Missy1961]

I live in the area too, and I would be fine with no alcohol served at a retirement party. Do what works for you.

 

[luvmy3]

I wouldn't even serve alcohol at all, nothing on the table and no cash bar set up in the room. If there is a bar at the facility, then the people who want it can go out to the main bar and get it.

 

[Emteach]

I don't live in the area but don't see why it would be that big of a deal? I would not be offended attending a party without any alcohol. If you do a cash bar people can decide whether or not they want to spend money on drinks.
I agree with other comments though about maybe having a few bottles of wine (nothing fancy or expensive) just to offer - that shouldn't add too much of a cost.

 

[allison443]

I live in an area where open bars are common. But if I was invited to a party with no alcohol, of course it would be fine! I would never talk about the person who had the party. That's what's rude. Especially if OP said she's inviting 30 people, mostly family. That would be some nice family that would talk about you for something like this!

OP enjoy the celebration of your DH's retirement!

 

[java]

LI party=open bar IMHO. Or at least some wine on the table. I think I would do bottles on table then have the cash bar available if people want something stronger.

It's Long Island after all.

 

[LisaR]

Of course it's not a state law, don't be silly!

Just that people might talk, that's all. I know these things vary by region greatly. With a small party of only 30 people, obviously, the people would be closer and less likely to talk, but on the other hand, with only thirty, it wouldn't be as hard to provide something.

JMHO!

Who are they going to talk to? Are they going to run home and post it on the Dis? Is there a Long Island message board or The Long Island Scarlet Letter Gazette that they post on? Are people honestly that concerned with alcohol (which I enjoy, btw) that they would go to a party for a few hours without it and then ***** or "talk" about it for days to come?

 

[Polyluvr]

LI party=open bar IMHO. Or at least some wine on the table. I think I would do bottles on table then have the cash bar available if people want something stronger.

It's Long Island after all.

I used to live on LI and still have family and friends there; I agree w the bottles on tables suggestion. Then it would be appropriate for a cash bar for mixed drinks.

LI is a monied area; and regardless if it's right or wrong people will talk

 

[mjkacmom]

Who are they going to talk to? Are they going to run home and post it on the Dis? Is there a Long Island message board or The Long Island Scarlet Letter Gazette that they post on? Are people honestly that concerned with alcohol (which I enjoy, btw) that they would go to a party for a few hours without it and then ***** or "talk" about it for days to come?

Not serving alcohol in this area of the country would be just as odd as not serving dessert at a party. Both would be unusual, and some folks would probably wonder the reason (AA, weight watchers...). I have noticed a decline in the full open bar at parties, but every function (including auctions, beefsteaks, political teas, Mary Kay parties) at least wine and beer (and dessert) are served.

 

[LisaR]

Not serving alcohol in this area of the country would be just as odd as not serving dessert at a party. Both would be unusual, and some folks would probably wonder the reason (AA, weight watchers...). I have noticed a decline in the full open bar at parties, but every function (including auctions, beefsteaks, political teas, Mary Kay parties) at least wine and beer (and dessert) are served.

I really do understand that it is unusual for the area. I get that. What I don't get is the "people will talk." It sure makes Long Islanders sound like a rude bunch and I know they aren't all like that.

I had a smoke free wedding when it wasn't the norm. I actually wrote in to Ms. Manners and asked for her opinion. She blasted me in the newspaper and said it would be" incredibly rude and selfish!" I still have the article. But I bucked tradition, included a line on the invite that said smoking was prohibited, and sent out the invitations. Everyone showed up and the smokers went outside when they needed a cigarette. Maybe they talked about me. Maybe they thought it was rude, but it was my wedding and I did what I wanted. If it was really going to be a problem for them, they didn't need to come. Since they came, I'm guessing it wasn't an issue. Of course, now it would be unheard of to have smoking in a reception hall. That's me, always the trend setter.

 

[mrsstats]

Why do you have to go to a facility for a party? Have it in your back yard with a keg.

Would not work in January plus we live in a 4 room house. Too small to hold 30 people.

 

[Bob NC]

I have lived all over, including in the northeast.

I have never been to a party with or without alcohol where we "talked" afterwards about the host being anything other than gracious for having us.

A lot of these responses just floor me. You HAVE to have alcohol????? You HAVE to have an open bar????? You HAVE to have beer and wine, at least????

If this is the way your friends and family feel, well, I wouldn't be inviting anyone like this to one of my parties.

 

[okeydokey]

I have to imagine that the people invited are close to your husband and want to wish him well. You should have the party you want to have and that you can afford to have and I am sure if they are really friends, they will appreciate it.

 

[doxdogy]

Do what works for YOUR budget. If these people are truly friends, they won't care.