After working out, we crawled under the covers and took a nap. There is just something so pleasant about clean sheets and a bed you did not have to go through the work to make. I enjoy the feeling of that first touch of a crisp sheet more than I should. It is addicting and after sleeping in them, they never are quite the same. It is one of the luxuries of hotels I like more than just about anything else.
I have read that Jackie O, was such a sheet snob, that she had the White House cleaning staff, change the sheets in her room five times a day, whether they were slept in or not! That is a bit on the crazy side and I have my environmental mentality that would never allow such waste but fresh linens every night is a splurge when on vacation. The quality of the sheets are amazing at the Deluxe resorts as well, so in no time, we were fast asleep.
When we woke up, there was the faint sound of thunder in the distance and I wondered if we should cancel the dinner plans at DTD for the evening and just try to grab a bite at the hotel. We were supposed to eat at Wolfgang Pucks but since no reservations were required it would be no big deal to change up plans. When I brought up the options ahead of us to Derrick, he said he was looking forward to his BBQ pizza and thus, twenty minutes later we were walking to the bus stop.
It was barely drizzling at this point and we stood, watching little kids play in the puddles and parents giving up hope that they would stay out. One little boy with dark, brown hair, was starting to enjoy the water a bit too much. He began to kick the water towards the stop and people trying to stay dry. His parents had their Blackberrys out and seemed to care little, about the others having to dodge his splashes. There was an older couple on a bench, directly in his line of fire and the woman asked him to please stop. He shot her a look of disdain and then went behind his Mother, clutching her pants and whining that someone had been mean to him. Meanwhile, he was peering out from behind her, at the older woman and glaring at her. His Mother, patted his head and said that some people were just tired this late and to be good and stay by her.
The bus to DTD soon came and we bordered along with the boy and his family. Luckily we sat towards the back and they had taken seats right up front.
I do not understand why people go on vacation, only to be tied to their electronic world. I mean how much of life are you missing, looking down all the time? I also do not get why people have children if they do not want to raise them? Why subject others to your lack of discipline and parenting time, by then taking children, who you have not bothered to raise, to a place that most people save their hard earned money, to be able to go to? This cherub was swinging his feet on his seat, kicking others who had to stand as they boarded and the parents, still were not aware of his antics! Maybe they were and just did not care. I am not sure but I was positive that he was going to be the kid that wreaked havoc in school and his parents would blame the other kids for actually doing the damage.
By the time we disembarked the bus, the rain had almost ceased and it smelled like warm, worms outside. It was a humid, earthy scent and Derrick said he liked the smell after a good rain. I agreed. It is a simple aroma and one not duplicated in candles, yet something everyone can relate to. We joked about the names that could be used if we marketed a candle like that. Nothing sounded great but it sure gave us some laughs as we walked and waited in line to order. Derrick got his pizza and I enjoyed a bowl of mashed potatoes and a salad. Not exactly the most nutritious of meals but I just wanted what sounded good and none of the combos hit the spot.
We were finishing up our meal, enjoying the quiet night from our outdoor table and I could tell he was deep in thought. I asked him what was on his mind. When he said I was, I was not sure if I wanted to know or not. The suspense though was going to drive me more crazy than just finding out so I bit the bullet and asked. He leaned forward and traced my face with the back of his right hand. His fingers slowing as they hit my jawline, then dropping back into his lap.
"I forget to tell you how beautiful you are sometimes," he finally said.
I looked up at him and was caught off guard. I was not expecting that comment at all and he looked like he was just as surprised he had shared it. We sat in silence for a few moments before I told him thank you. Usually, I would have made a joke to ease the tenderness. I was not the girl who lived on flattery. I was the woman who hated compliments because acknowledging them meant agreeing their was value in myself, in my outside shell and that was not a place I was used to.
I had never been the homecoming queen or most popular growing up. I had needed braces and cover up to pass through high school and while I had dated on and off, the taunts of "Snaggle Tooth" and "Franken Foot," left their war wounds. My feet eventually stopped growing, the rest of the girls in my class caught up and now a size 9 is not the canoe it seemed to be in 4th grade. It meant though that I developed a coping mechanism of humor. It developed me into someone who became confident of what was within my power like my grades and my willingness to think of others.
It used to be that Derrick told me he loved the way I looked almost daily. We had a ritual. He would say it, I would denounce it. He would tell me something nice and I would have a comeback questioning his mental stability or eye sight. I always laughed it off and he would tell me I was a brat. I thought it was a fine compromise. I thought he understood the rule that actually accepting a compliment, opened me up for disappointment in the future.
Eventually the compliments came fewer and because I had not been comfortable with them, a piece of me was grateful. Relieved in fact. Now here I was, with the love of my life telling me I was beautiful again and this time I managed to simply say, "Thank you." I had just had a conversation with someone from my office, who was older than I, about taking a compliment badly. She had told me if I was not careful, I would humor my way out of ever getting another one again. Sitting here in the silence after his words and mine, I was proud of myself. Although it took biting my lip, I let the, "Thank You," just hang out there and it did not feel too bad. Then, I got anxious because he took awhile to say anything at all.
"You have never just said, "Thank You," he finally responded. He then explained how dismissed my humor had made him always feel. Like his thoughts were not valid to me. I listened in amazement. Here in trying to make myself comfortable all these years, I was making him feel insignificant. I promised I would work harder at not refuting his compliments and he told me he was glad because he liked giving them. That when I did not accept his compliments, he felt like I was throwing away a gift he had given.
He was right. I pictured all the times I had laughed in his face when he was trying to be serious and I saw the scattered remains of those verbal gifts I had shunned. In my fear of being hurt by the one person who never had done anything but show me love, I had managed to spare myself but sacrifice him.
I'll let it be now. 
for me..
I am so very hopeful that things work out for you two! A man like that does not come around very often! 
I hope that you keep on working it out - fight for your marriage! 
