Cam's New Lease on Life Journal (comments welcome!)

Hi Cam-
Sorry ive been MIA! Sounds like you are getting ready for the Minnie--when will you be in disney?
Hi, sweetie! May 4-7. Just a quick weekend trip. Hopefully, work will let up by then. I'm pulling an all -nighter tonight on an expedited case. I am DISing to stay awake during the lag times.
Just to keep this in line with what my journal is supposed to be about, I'll confess that I am eating compulsively while I am at work, mostly out of self-pity, some in an attempt to make myself feel better for suffering a migraine. :sad1: What I really want to do is go home to bed!
 
Hi Cam

Sorry to hear that work is crazy busy for you...hopefully it will get better soon. It sucks to have to work with such a bad headache. I get migraine's a lot while I am at work and it's no fun

Good luck on your case...try and have a good weekend :)
 
Hi Cam
glad you got a walk outdoors :)
Hope work doesnt stress you out too much, it really does sound crazy, be careful it doesnt run you down & make you ill!
Take care.
 

Hi, sweetie! May 4-7. Just a quick weekend trip. Hopefully, work will let up by then. I'm pulling an all -nighter tonight on an expedited case. I am DISing to stay awake during the lag times.
Just to keep this in line with what my journal is supposed to be about, I'll confess that I am eating compulsively while I am at work, mostly out of self-pity, some in an attempt to make myself feel better for suffering a migraine. :sad1: What I really want to do is go home to bed!

Aw i wont be in Disney til May 17..i was hoping to run into you!

Hang in there with work--i understand..its been a crazy couple of weeks for me too...maybe both of us can stop eating compulsively out of self pity--i know you can do it
 
HI Cam,

Hope everything went well the other night and you were able to get out of there and get some rest.

Have a great day :)
 
:hug: and :wizard: for your week ahead.... I hope once the workload lets up a bit, you have some time for rest and relaxation. Take care, Cam!:hug:
 
I've been reading, but not posting, Cam. Hope things are easing up at work a bit! You don't need the stress!

Hope this week goes better for you. But even with everything going on, you're still doing AWESOME!!!
 
Happy Easter, to you and your family, Cam! Hope you have a wonderfully relaxing weekend ahead of you!:grouphug:
 
I hope your hearing went well after your long weekend with a migraine to boot:headache: . Hopefully things have settled down now.

Have a wonderful Easter!
 
Hi Cam! Just wanted to stop by and say Happy Easter...and see how things are going. :hug: Good luck with the Minnie. Sounds like life is crazy hectic for you. Hang in there, girl!
 
Hello, all my dear WISH friends. I am sorry I have been so absent from here. THere is a big hole in my life where I have been missing my WISH Journal friends. Work was so crazy from basically mid-March until a hearing I had on April 2. Then I played catch up from 5:40 pm on 4/2 until I left my office on 4/5 at 3:30 to fly to Providence to visit my Aunt and Uncle who live near Cape Cod. The visit was wonderful except for food issues. Notwithstanding that my aunt is a lifetime WW member and my Uncle has lost over 35 pounds on WW, they considered my weekend with them to be a vacation and decided we should all "treat ourselves" to whatever food anyone wanted at anytime. :eek:

We did spend lots of time walking and talking but more, unfortunately, eating! I finally had a very candid talk with my aunt and uncle on Saturday about how much food they were pushing on me and the bad choices they were encouraging. Yes, I’m an adult, but it really isn’t fair to have someone you love pushing food at you all the time. My aunt walks many many miles every day and seems to be able to eat whatever she wants and I think they are both compulsive about food.

I do not exaggerate when I say that there was not a single hour of the visit that did not involve food. My aunt even apologized and said she worried I wouldn’t visit again because of the issue. That was such a hard, but unexpected, aspect of the visit.

Here is what my weekend looked like:
Thursday – leave work 3:30; arrive Plymouth 9:00; eat pizza, french fries & onion rings

Friday – 6:30 a.m. walk to and from and on the beach (wicked cold; bundled but still not warm enough); shower; brunch at The BeeHive (clam chowder; salad; baked scrod, scallops & shrimp in butter) with sauteed zucchini & onion mix (in butter) & rice pilaf; gingerbread w/double whipped cream and homemade vanilla ice cream); walk along the canal & under the Sagamore Bridge; home to watch "Persuasion"; quick nap; more tv time together and sharing family news; help prepare some food items for Saturday and Sunday

Saturday – up for a 6:30 beach walk; breakfast at Panera (whole grain bagel w/RF hazelnut cream cheese); home to meet cousins; travel to the Lobster Hut for lunch (broiled salmon; french fries; shared calamari appetizer); travel to mall; movies with my aunt (movie popcorn - yum!); home for dinner (ham, three bean salad; cousin Anne Marie’s carrot cake); up talking until nearly 1 am

Sunday – up at 7 for church (20 minute walk each direction); home for breakfast (leftover ham w/provolone on english muffin; apple); more family arrives; early dinner (prime rib; green beans; broccoli; mashed sweet potatoes; yorkshire pudding; more carrot cake; some SF FF butterscotch pudding); sad goodbyes; leave for airport by 3:30. Ate cashews and grilled chicken from a yucky sandwich on the plane; Home by 9 pm, where I ate a lean cuisine panini.

The result of the last 3 weeks of chaos and excess is that by yesterday morning, I'd gained 3.7 pounds from when I got my 70 pound star, and I have been so unhappy about that. I can’t even imagine what I’d have gained if I hadn’t worked out the few times I did. As of yesterday, I had to lose 5.7 to get to my goal before I leave for my Minnie weekend. Fortunately, after a very disciplined day yesterday and lots of water and a very strenuous 60 minute workout last night, my weight was down by 2.3 this morning. putting me only 3.4 away from my goal for 5/1. I think it is do-able as long as I am very careful.

x-post from the Minnie thread:
keenercam said:
Yesterday's food was good:
B: lite english muffin w/1 slice fat free cheese; coffee w/half & half(they were out of skim milk at my coffee place)
L: Lean Cuisine chicken primavera; garden salad w/1 oz fat free feta & 1/2 serving fat free raspberry vinegarette dressing
D: 99% lean ground turkey (so excited I found this at trader joe's) mixed with onion & A-1 steak sauce; shrimp & broccoli stir fry (to get in my healthy oils)dessert: hostess mini 3 pack carrot cake

And here is my training (x-post):
I am glad to report I got some training in last night. 60 minutes on the TM. The first 30 was intervals of walk 3 at 4.0-4.2 mph then jog 2 minutes at 5.2 mph. I did 2.28 miles in 30 minutes (278 calories) -- pace 13:09!!!! Then I was going to quit but decided to do some incline work. OMG, incline work is NOT easy! I stayed mostly around 4 mph but increased the incline gradually from .5 - 5.0. I did 2.07 in 30 minutes (14:30 pace) and burned 270 calories.

Today's food:
B: coffee w/skim milk; lite english muffin w/1 slice fat free cheese
L: extra lean ground turkey w/onion, corn & A-1; apple
snack: apple
D: stir fry shrimp & broccoli w/EVOO

I hope to be around here a lot more in the coming weeks. I do so much better when I am with my friends!
 
Added a lean cuisine sesame stir fry with chicken to dinner tonight since I was so hungry.

Got in 30 minutes on the bike at the gym (6.38 miles)
 
Sounds like life has been super duper busy for you, Cam. I hope everything settles down for you soon.:goodvibes

Have a wonderful Wednesday!:cool1:
 
Thanks, Tracy!

For dessert last night I had a pack of hostess mini cakes -- vanilla with chocolate frosting. Very good.

Today's food:
B: lite english muffin w/1 slice fat free cheese; coffee w/skim milk
L: beef vegetable barley soup; 4 grilled sea scallops; field greens w/vinegarette dressing; 1 macaroon; coffee w/creamer
D: 99% lean ground turkey w/corn, onion & ketchup; 2 bowls homemade split pea & lean ham soup

Not sure what the rest of the day will be like because I am hosting a visiting colleague and will take him to lunch. I am hoping to find a good salad option on the menu. We are going to a place that has awesome lobster bisque and an open faced crab melt that is to die for. I am going to be strong and look for a salad, maybe with some kind of grilled fish on top or tuna, to get some protein. If we have coffee, I may allow myself a small macaroon or two.

The scale was down another .4 today, bringing me to only 1 pound over my 70.2 pound loss weigh in the last time I got to WW. I am pretty sure I can lose that pound and a bit more before next Tuesday's weigh in. I am now 3 pounds away from where I want to be on May 1. 3 weeks to get there. I feel like the little engine that could. But instead of saying "I think I can" I MUST tell myself "I KNOW I can".


----------------------------------------
post-lunch report:
Well, I am back from my business lunch and am proud to report that I did not have my favorite lunch at this restaurant, which has always been: 1 slice raisin nut bread w/butter; lobster bisque soup; open face cheesy jumbo lump crab gratin served with asparagus & french fries and 3 macaroons w/coffee. Instead I had beef barley soup, 4 grilled sea scallops w/dijonaise sauce (under the scallops, so mostly avoided) w/mixed field greens w/vinegarette dressing; coffee w/1 macaroon cookie. It was delicious and I don't feel like I am in a carb coma. LOL!!!! Avoiding the fresh baked breads basket was sooo hard! So was stopping at one cookie.

According to sparkpeople, my lunch was only 316 calories. I'll stay under my calorie count today just to compensate for any hidden calories in the lunch, but all in all, not bad.
 
I KNOW you can too cam :)
Well done for starting to lose those extra lb's so quickly!
Hope life calms down a bit now ;)
 
Thanks, Tracy. Fortunately, work should be very manageable for the next several weeks. I leave for my Minnie weekend 3 weeks from tomorrow, so I am glad to have that to look forward to.

I am having such a rough time these days. The scale was up 2 pounds this morning and I totally know that it is because I was bloated and because I ate late last night, but it just really wiped me out. DH told me I am so pretty and sexy and all those wonderful things that he says to me every day of my life and yet, I looked in the mirror and left the room before he could see me cry. All I see is fat. Just lumpy, bumpy fat me. I know, intellectually, that I look much better than I used to, but I just can't get past what I see in the mirror now. I am so self-conscious about how I look. I am even embarassed to let anyone know I've lost 70 pounds. I can just imagine them thinking "Oh my God, how huge was she before?" Just so down today. I feel like I should just throw the scale through the nearest window and stop letting what it says govern my life. I am so tired of being fat and sad and depressed about how little progress I am making and so slowly. I know if this were another WISHer's journal, I'd try to beat some sense into them. Tell them to be proud of how far they've come and all they've accomplished and proud of every good choice. And yet, for myself, I just can't get there. I have moments of pride and happiness, but deep down, so much disappointment and discouragment. Really, the only reason I don't eat myself into oblivion is my horrendous fear of regaining the weight and having to face the people around me and see the disappointment in their faces.
I keep thinking about going to Minnie weekend and having lots of pictures with my WISH friends and already knowing that I'll look like a blob in those pictures, certainly the "largest". Hopefully, when I get there, being with my friends and the excitement of the race and just being at the happiest place on earth will overshadow all these negative feelings.
Really bad day. Really trying to get past this funk. Knowing Saturday is the 2 year anniversary of when my Dad died and May 1 is the 2 year anniversary of when my Mom died is so overwhelming. It feels like I can't even look forward to being happy until all that is behind me.
 
Oh Cam,:hug:

Sweetie, I wish I lived closer to you so I could give you a hug in person.:hug:

Please stop for a moment and think about all that you have accomplished in the past few years. You have done many 5Ks, you have done a lot of work with Special Olympics, you have lost 70 pounds, and you have completed a full marathon. Please, please, please do NOT let the number on the scale define you. You are an amazing woman, Cam!:goodvibes You have been an inspiration to me and an encouragement to me and I can never thank you enough for your friendship.:hug:

I know that the weekend ahead will be tough.:sad1::hug: Please spend some time this weekend thinking about the good times and the wonderful memories that you have of your mom and dad. Know that they are watching over you and loving you, Cam.:hug:

Remember, Cam.... God is always with you. Lean on Him for strength. He knows what you are going through. He loves you just the way you are and so do we.:grouphug:

If you need anything, please let me know. I'll be praying for you, WISH sis.:hug:
 












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