Cam's New Lease on Life Journal (comments welcome!)

[KeenHo]

DH told me I am so pretty and sexy and all those wonderful things that he says to me every day of my life

She is all that and more. I should know... I'm the DH.

 

[goldcupmom]

Cam I, too, wish I could come give you a big hug. Your post made me cry because I have those EXACT thoughts, feelings, fairly frequently when I look in the mirror. I can't tell you "chin up", "not true", because I know that although well meaning, the hurt remains until you pull through it once again.

Hang in there! You ARE a WONDERFUL gift from GOD to so many around you. We don't see size or shape, just the real you inside.

Many prayers going up for you!

Howard, you keep right on telling/showing her just how wonderful & sexy she is!!!!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Oh Cam,

Sweetie, I wish I lived closer to you so I could give you a hug in person.

Please stop for a moment and think about all that you have accomplished in the past few years. You have done many 5Ks, you have done a lot of work with Special Olympics, you have lost 70 pounds, and you have completed a full marathon. Please, please, please do NOT let the number on the scale define you. You are an amazing woman, Cam! You have been an inspiration to me and an encouragement to me and I can never thank you enough for your friendship.

I know that the weekend ahead will be tough. Please spend some time this weekend thinking about the good times and the wonderful memories that you have of your mom and dad. Know that they are watching over you and loving you, Cam.

Remember, Cam.... God is always with you. Lean on Him for strength. He knows what you are going through. He loves you just the way you are and so do we.

If you need anything, please let me know. I'll be praying for you, WISH sis.

As i was thinking what to type, i read tracys and she said it perfectly

hang in there cam

 

[CaroleD]

Hope you are feeling better. You've been such a big help to me...I wish I could help you feel better. There is a saying that has an acromnym. HALT.. Stands for hungry, angry, lonely and tired. When you experience one of those things it messes with your mind. Add another and it messes you up more. So generally if you get rid of the hunger, release anger in a healthy way, find a friend and share and get enough sleep that feeling of being so hard on yourself will go away. And you can feel positive about yourself again.
Be well.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CACruisin']

I know if this were another WISHer's journal, I'd try to beat some sense into them. Tell them to be proud of how far they've come and all they've accomplished and proud of every good choice.

We are so much harder on ourselves and can't see the good of things, so that is what friends are for. YES, Cam, you have come so very far not just with the weight you have already lost (which really is a HUGE accomplishment in and of itself!) but in all of the lifestyle changes you have made. You have probably SAVED your life with the changes you have made. Remember you could not even get on the treadmill before your surgery and now you have completed a marathon! This past weekend was hard foodwise, but we all slip. What is important is to get right back up and back on track again, and you have done that! You made fabulous choices at your business lunch and you have been disciplined this week and the weekend eating is gone.

You have been a true inspiration for me. I have read your journal from the beginning and have found so very many good ideas. Your comments and suggestions in my own journal have really been wonderful, as well. I am so very glad that I have found you and all my other WISH friends. I have a long way to go, but I truly believe I would not have come as far as I have already without the support from you and WISH.

My guess is the weekend was also hard emotionally too being so close to the anniversaries of your parents passing, and I am so very sorry. The next few weeks will likely be difficult. I cannot even imagine losing both parents so close together. But hang in there. It sounds like you have a wonderful DH to help you through this difficult time.

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Just sending you LOTS of hugs. It's the same way here too. There are days when I want to say "to heck with it!" and eat like all my skinny little size 5 friends who do nothing but eat cheeseburgers and guzzle soda. There are days when I wonder if this is really worth it.

I also think you should know that you inspired me to get back on track. You inspire me to keep going. It's going to be pretty rough for a while, and you'll be in my prayers until this rough patch passes. Remember that in the hard times you grow (and there are the times when you want to say "Hey God-can I stop growing now? PLEASE-I've had more than enough!")

If you need to talk/write, feel free. You've helped all of us more than you'll ever know.

 

[traceycooper]

She is all that and more. I should know... I'm the DH.

Cam you have an amazing husband!

We are all our own worst critics, & we are never as 'bad' as we think we are.
You have soo much to be proud of & i would put that super DH of yours at the top of your list
I'm sure the anniversaries of your parents passing will deffinatly have effected your mood & thinking. I always say as long as they're remembered their never gone.
Take good care of yourself & the negative feelings will pass

Your so lucky to be doing the minnie & i cant wait to see pics, & the last thing i will be thinking about is your size - it will be 'wow what an amazing accomplishment'

 

[eeyore25]

Ah Cam.....

I too wish I could be closer to give you a giant hug. Hang in there hon, you are doing a great job. You have a wonderful husband.....I am sure that you know that.

Sending you tons of hugs to get through the next few weekends. I am sure that it will be tough, but as Tracy said, lean on God, he is there for you. As is every one of us here on WISH. Take good care of yourself and remember all the good times......

Hang in there, you are doing a great job. You are going to make your weight goal by the time Minnie comes around, and when you show your pictures, no one will be looking at the your size, but what a great job you did. You have come so far and you are doing great.

Keep your head up WISH sis!!!!

Have a great day

 

[goldcupmom]

Hang in there, Cam!! We're all here praying for you & sending LOTS of !!

Your accomplishments are incredible! You've truly been an inspiration to most of us on this board. It's rough now, understandably, but you WILL overcome. GOD won't let you down.

Just remember how wonderful you felt at the end of the Marathon(and awful at the same time)!

 

[toystoryduo]

Keep on keeping on, Cam.

Sending lots of prayers and your way, WISH sis.

 

[keenercam]

Thank you so much, all my WISH friends. You guys are absolutely amazing. There I was wallowing in self-pity and sadness and you all came to my rescue like angels. Even though I haven't been posting, I have been reading your messages of support and just hanging in there until I felt strong enough to come back and post again. I've always relied on my WISH friends to bring me strength and encouragement and you have never let me down. Thank you all so much.

As for this weight loss and fitness journey we are all on together? Let's just say that what I have been putting myself through lately hasn't improved my weight loss results at all. But I know I shouldn't let myself get any further into this rut I've dug and I have to get back on track. Eating whatever I want at any given moment doesn't cure what ails you if it isn't hunger. That is a HUGE lesson I have learned. And when all is said and done, I've actually worsened my situation rather than improved it. I have been really sick with this upper respiratory and sinus infection, besides sadness and grief. I have to put it all behind me and look ahead to happier days.
Having the Minnie weekend to look forward to has really gotten me through some dark moments. Yesterday, Howard sent me the picture of the Minnie medal with a reminder that it will soon be mine. I have been feeling too sick to train since I did 60 measly minutes on the TM Saturday morning. I think I am so run down from the several weeks in a row of long work hours and bad eating and insufficient workouts. Not sure if I can get to the the gym tonight and even just spend an easy hour on a bike. I'll see what I am up to by the end of the workday.
It is supposed to be much nicer this weekend and I am hoping to get to the state park to do a couple of hours on the track for my last long training session 15 days before the race.
I am getting my eating under control, too. And I am really trying to re-focus on eating core foods and meeting the healthy eating requirements. I'm using sparkpeople to track calories and am enjoying getting to know some WISHers on the new DISaholics team that one of our WISHers started there. Hoping all of this will help me get back on track and stay on track.

Today's food plan:
B: 2.5 slices weight watchers rye w/1 slice fat free cheese; coffee w/skim milk
S: 1 cup green seedless grapes
L: 2 oz rotisserie chicken (breast meat only); 3/4 cup whole wheat couscous; 1 cup edamame (before shelling)
S: apple (pre-gym)
S: banana (post-gym)
D: grilled chicken; corn; kidney beans; weight watchers sweet & sour chicken mixed with barley (craving carbs)
dessert: 1 mini carrot cake (1/3 of 100 calorie pack); weight watchers ice cream bar

workout -- 60 minutes bike -- 12.36 miles -- 324 calories burned (according to bike)


----------------------------------
sparkpeople results:
calories -- 1564
calories burned -- 360

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Cam

You're doing a great job.....just keep on going. Your food looks good!!!

Keep it up!!!

Have a great day

 

[toystoryduo]

Good morning Cam,

Your post reminded me of this which was in my devotional yesterday:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I think that is what WISH is all about. We are here for you Cam, in good times and in bad.... Just like you have been there for us. We help each other not only through this journey called "a healthy lifestyle", but through this journey that we call life.

You CAN do ANYTHING that you put your mind to. Take some time to heal and to grieve. In the meantime, do the best that you can do. Make the best food choices you can, exercise when you feel better and have energy... And always know that when you cross that finish line, whether it be a goal you accomplished or an actual finish line, your WISH family will be there cheering you on and supporting you. Your mom and dad will be there in spirit too.

God's best to you each and every day, Cam!

 

[keenercam]

Wow, Tracy, that devotional is so edifying to me right now. Thank you so much, dear friend. I really needed to be reminded of that. It helps me not to feel so needy and whiny when I am reminded that our Good Lord wants us to rely on each other for support.

Jamie -- thank you as always for your positive attitude and encouragement!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Cam
Glad your hanging in there
60 mins on the TM - oh how i wish i could do that!!! You inspire me Cam & i hope it makes you realise just how well you are doing
Hope your week gets better & better, take it easy, we all need a break sometimes

 

[CaroleD]

So good to see you back on line. I've worried about you. I wish my trip was a few days earlier so I could cheer you on in the Minnie!
Or even be in the race with you and cheer you from the back.

 

[goldcupmom]

Glad you're feeling a bit better, Cam! Physically and emotionally!

Still praying for you! The MINNIE is almost here! You will do AWESOME!!!

Just don't overdo when you've been sick!

Have a GREAT WEDNESDAY!!!

 

[keenercam]

Thanks, WISH friends! Of course, I do so much better at everything when I post here. I feel accountable to my WISH friends and try to have good behavior to report!

I had breakfast with a friend this morning, and we shared a veggie omelette made with egg beaters. I also ate 2 bites of home fries and had 2 little creamer thingies in my coffee. Definitely not off to a core foods kind of day, but not too bad.

Today's food plan:
B: 1/2 veggie omelette (egg beaters); lots of coffee w/2 creamers; more coffee w/skim milk
L: 1/2 cup barley; 3 oz chicken breast; 1/2 cup corn; 1/2 cup kidney beans; 1 cup unshelled edamame
S: 1 cup grapes

S(after gym, hopefully): banana

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Cam!!

Way to go on breakfast...I think you did a great job...hey it could have been worse!!!

Keep up the great job!!!

Have a great day

 

[keenercam]

Thank you, Jamie!

cross-post from training thread:

Okay, the bad news. Saw the doctor covering for mine yesterday -- bronchitis, sinus & upper respiratory infections and the start of an ear infection. No wonder I feel so lousy. The cough is out of control and is tearing up my throat so there are meds for that (robitussin with codeine). He said the pulmonary function studies were "just ugly" and asked how much it hurts to breathe -- so I have athsma medicine for that. AND, unfortunately, levoquin because he says my condition is so advanced that it is really the only option right now. When I expressed concern about side effects, he said he plays tennis 4-5x/week (he has been on the amateur tour) and it is what he uses when he is really sick (maybe insinuating if a real jock can use the drug so can I). He grounded me from any kind of exercise except daily gentle stretching, for a week and then we'll see how I am feeling.

You know, there was a time when I'd have been glad for an excuse not to exercise. Those days are no more. I literally feel like a kid that's been grounded. Fortunately, at the moment, it's not like I have any energy I need to burn.

15 days until I am in Orlando for Minnie weekend. Right now, I'll do whatever it takes to get healthy long before then. Sad to be missing a 70 degree weekend when I could be doing my last long training wogs outside, but I'm not going to be stupid about it.