Calling all Parents!!! Advice needed....

[tigger2on]

Ok
I have 2 beautiful girls... 9yr old Ryleigh is disabled and 100% dependent for all basic needs and our very spirited 1 yr old, Madigan. She is known as "tinkerbelle" in our house because she can be such a little "Pixie" at times
The issue I have is "hair pulling"... how do you stop a 1 yr old from ripping your hair out!! and everyone else's hair too! And laughs psychotically while doing it.
And it is sooo not nice when she attackes her sister who can not fight back.
I know that you are not suppose to react to bad behaviour as it lets them know that it gets a reaction out of you and yelling/spanking her is not in my beliefs.
Any ideas???

 

[MoniqueU]

I disagree that you are not supposed to react to bad behavior. I would be firmly grabbing the baby's hands and looking her straight in the eye and saying NO firmly.

 

[doxdogy]

I agree withe MoniqueU, you need to react and tell her firmly NO. How else is she going to learn that the behavior is not accpetable?

 

[bcsmom]

I agree with the above poster. My DD "19 mths" was doing this to my other DD. Well I would grab her hand & firmly tell her no. If she did it again, we do the time out thing. It has worked for us. She hates going into the corner, I just put her there for a minute. I do not talk to her or look at her while she is there, then I go get her & tell her for example "that was not nice to pull your sisters hair". I hope this helps, there are so many different parenting techniques I hope you find one that works for you.

 

[kristen821]

I agree with the above posters. Get down at her level look in her eyes and say no. By age 1 they know the work no. If that doesn't work a timeout for a minute or two should. It is so hard to discipline a child at this age, but it will get easier soon!

 

[THE HAT]

i agree with the advice of all the previous posters!! get at her eye level, take her hands in yours, and say in a firm voice, NO!
when i had to do time-outs for ds it was always a minute per age, then after the his time was up, we talked about what landed him there.

 

[dmslush]

I don't understand why you don't think you are supposed to show a reaction to bad behavior? Of course you need to, you need to show that it is unacceptable! Do like the above posters stated and get on her level, hold her hands, tell her firmly NO! If it doesn't get better, remove her from the situation and make her sit in timeout. If you don't show her that the behavior is unacceptable, then she will not know it is unacceptable.

 

[VSL]

I don't understand why you don't think you are supposed to show a reaction to bad behavior? Of course you need to, you need to show that it is unacceptable! Do like the above posters stated and get on her level, hold her hands, tell her firmly NO! If it doesn't get better, remove her from the situation and make her sit in timeout. If you don't show her that the behavior is unacceptable, then she will not know it is unacceptable.

 

[luv2nascar]

The time out worked for my two girls who are currently going on 11 & going on 3. It also helped that her older sister gave her a few painful tugs too.

 

[Marseeya]

Sounds like she knows what she's doing bothers everyone! Have you tried redirecting her attention when she does it? When she goes for the hair, pick up a favorite toy or find something novel and say, "Oooh, lookie here!"

It always worked really well with my kids.

 

[Puffy2]

Ditto. the only way she will learn if it is clear that you (and everyone else does NOT like it). A grab of the hand, a firm (and loud) NO! is in order.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Reacting to bad behavior means just "reacting" (like saying, no, ow, etc..) and not doing anything to show it is wrong. Sounds as if that IS what you are doing now.

You are supposed to redirect/discipline in an age appropriate manner to unacceptable behavior.

 

[3princesses+aprince]

My 2 year old daughter was the same way . I have 2 other daughters too so she was always pulling their hair. And I felt so bad. I finally started putting her firmly in her crib telling her we don't pull hair it hurts and it's not nice. Yeah 1 yrs. old is pretty young so you probably won't have much luck right away, it will take a while. But if you let her know everytime she does it that it's not something you want her doing she'll eventually learn . My daughter doesn't pull hair anymore, it was just a terrible little phase. Good Luck

 

[FreshTressa]

I used to say Ouch! Put my son down and promptly walk away and go do something else. It showed I did not want to play with him when he was hurting me.

But I agree with everyone else...I think a firm NO is in order.

 

[tigger2on]

I do "react" and say "no", I just don't overreact I guess. I don't think the "no" works with her especially but the ignoring sounds like it might.
She is an awesome kid, just REALLY high spirited. Temper tantrums since 9 months and she is NOT at all spoilt. I don't have time to spoil her with my other child. She is with me during the day and this acting up starts around the time my oldest dd comes home. Could it be a jealousy thing?

 

[Hannathy]

I never "spanked" but I did smack a hand or two along the way. She definately needs a firm no and a firm grab of the hand. If after several no's she kept doing it You could also try pulling her hair, she may not realize it hurts. You need to make it a very firm look her straight in the eye and make her look at you NO, with a stern face while holding her hands.

 

[kristen821]

I do "react" and say "no", I just don't overreact I guess. I don't think the "no" works with her especially but the ignoring sounds like it might.
She is an awesome kid, just REALLY high spirited. Temper tantrums since 9 months and she is NOT at all spoilt. I don't have time to spoil her with my other child. She is with me during the day and this acting up starts around the time my oldest dd comes home. Could it be a jealousy thing?

It could be that she wants the same amount of attention she got when her sister wasn't there, but that isn't possible for you. Do you have a wiggles dvd? I swear they are a God send! Maybe if you put it on right before the other daughter gets home she will be distrated enough not to notice. Is she old enough to help you a little. At an early 1 she wouldn't be but if she is getting close to 2 you can ask her to help you a little. She can get things for you or sing to her sister. Playdoh also keeps little ones entertained for a while. Good luck!

 

[tigger2on]

She is only just turned "one" so helping is just starting... She can put her toys away and tries to put on her own socks.... very cute!
When my oldest gets home, she is very happy to see her but i have to leave her in her wheelchair when I am making dinner because Madi will just suddenly lash out. If Ryleigh is sitting cross-legged on the floor, she pushes her over and pulls her hair. i think she thinks it is a game.... but we tell her "no, that isn't nice ... she is hurting Ry." And she will say "nice" and will give her a kiss but if I leave them again, she'll do it again. i have resorted to letting her say "hi" to Ry and then she goes into the playpen while I make dinner.
Yes she loves "Wiggles" & "Barney" but she has a short attention span... and she puts everything into her mouth so playdoughs out!
Thanks for the input though!