Call me a prude...

[HauntedMansionGeek]

You probably wouldn't have to say much to the mom. Maybe just happen to mention in passing that "it looks like your daughter has a boyfriend." That might be enough to start the conversation.
You can judge by the moms reaction whether you should go further and lightly touch on the "heated display of public affection in the front yard".....
Is it possible that the mom and dad didn't see what was going on?

Good luck.

 

[zurgswife]

Being a mom I have to say that I'd like to know...

 

[tidoublegger]

I must agree with everyone who said that the parents should be made aware of this....it is totally inappropriate to be displaying this type of behavior in public! I know that kids experiment with different things, but these kids need to know that to flaunt this is unacceptable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

If she was my daughter I would want to know. If your neighbor saw your daughter doing that, would you want her to tell you? I think I may have picked up the phone right then.

 

[RitaZ.]

HauntedMansionGeek~ That's exactly what I was thinking of saying! We get along with them VERY well, but you never know how a parent will take a comment about their child, especially what I saw.

As a parent, I would want to know and that's what I was telling DH. The thing is that this girl has always been a model child, does great in school, very respectful, she has even babysat my children. Trust me when I say that this kind of behavior is totally out of character for her and I NEVER expected her to respect herself so little. They were definitely flaunting it. I'm actually a little concerned at her aggressiveness considering that this is her first boyfriend, she looked quite comfortable in what she was doing; not a novice.

I probably stared longer that I should have, this went on for over an hour. Her mom did come out at one point with a paper in her hand, the daughter was laying on the grass and he was laying on top of her with his back to her front and she had her legs wrapped around his. They didn't sit up or move from their position, the mom said something to them and then went back in the house. That was it! Then they just kept at it... I'm in total disbelief over what I saw. It's just NOT like this family to tolerate this type of exhibitionism. I never expected anything like that from them!

While my mom was visiting last week, she was outside watching the kids play and when I returned she told me that the girl and the boyfriend were out front on the grass touching and all over each other. I thought she was exaggerating, so I really didn't pay attention to it. So I told her what I saw yesterday and she said "I told you, but you didn't believe me".

I will say something to her mom this weekend, I'm not sure how she will take it.

 

[DoeWDW]

If it were MY daughter I'd want to know!

I also think that the daughter WANTS her parents to know, considering that she was doing this on the front lawn in plain sight.

When I was a teen and did things I wasn't supposed to, I was hurt when my parents said nothing and looked the other way, as if they didn't really care.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Definitely tell them! Sounds like they need to have "the talk" with her. Sweeping it under the rug will lead to trouble.

 

[wendyl]

Originally posted by JetMom
Sounds like a perfect time to water the lawn!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy
Based on your description of their actions, Rita, I think you would be doing them both a favor by somehow passing on what you saw to the mom. If you were the mom, would YOU want to know?

This is true. Maybe her parents haven't had a "talk" with her yet. Maybe they are living on another planet where teens don't do this sort of thing.

I wish someone had had that talk with me when I was 15. It would have saved me a lot of pain and regret later in life I think.

If I were her mom, I would want to know so I could at least try and let her know I was there to talk to, and how despite what she sees on MTV, having sex at age 16 in real life is not glamorous and there may be consequences to her actions, including being thought of as a tramp or "easy" by other kids.

I saw a girl today getting on a school bus wearing next to nothing.

She was maybe 15. I turned to DBF and asked if he'd ever let a teenage daughter out of the house like that and he could only say, this is why we aren't having kids.

These girls don't realize that by acting this way they are only hurting themselves.

I know teens will always fool around. Everyone I know did. But at least do it in private, so there is some sense that you are doing this because you WANT to, and not to put on a show.

 

[dlbwright]

JetMom, that was hysterical!

I don't think you are a prude at all. There is a time and a place for everything. I don't like PDA (public display of affection) with my husband. I don't want others to feel uncomfortable.

That is not right!

 

[slo]

I also don't feel you are being a prude!!! The thing that would make me mad, if this was my neighbor, would be my children witnessing this. I heavily monitor their television viewing because I don't want them seeing obscene behavior, so I absolutly don't want them seeing this outside their window.

If this was me, I would have gone out their and told those kids to please stop because their behavior is inappropriate. What are they going to do, go tell their parents that the neighbor is mad at them because they are practicing provacative behavior in the front yard for God and everyone to see. If their parents would come talk to you, I would kindly explain to them why I told them to quit it and hopefully the neighbor will understand.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

Here's what I would have done:

I would have ran to the microwave and popped some popcorn. Grabbed a lawn chair and marched right over to them and sat down. While eating a handful of popcorn I would have mentioned I was there to see the "show". Hopefully this would have embarrassed them so much that they would have left the "theater" immediately.

It obvious that they are young kids experiencing some strange and exciting feelings and there's probably nothing that will stop them but at least they can find somewhere else!!!

 

[RitaZ.]

Here's what I would have done:

I would have ran to the microwave and popped some popcorn. Grabbed a lawn chair and marched right over to them and sat down. While eating a handful of popcorn I would have mentioned I was there to see the "show". Hopefully this would have embarrassed them so much that they would have left the "theater" immediately.

Why don't I ever think of these things?

My mom and my DH say that I should stay out of it and say nothing to the parents. Her mom is a really good friend and person and I don't want her to stop talking to me over this. I really feel that I should say something to her about it.

 

[slo]

Originally posted by RitaZ.
My mom and my DH say that I should stay out of it and say nothing to the parents. Her mom is a really good friend and person and I don't want her to stop talking to me over this. I really feel that I should say something to her about it.

The mom is a friend??? That makes this really hard then.
I probably would sit her down and tell her that you are coming to her as a friend, and you want to tell her what is going on before other neighbors start getting upset with her and her family. Hopefully, she will listen and not get angry with you. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be angry if my friend approached me kindly about this. I would be so mad at my DD that I wouldn't have it in me to be mad at my friend too. Plus....I wouldn't want my other neighbors talking about my DD in secret, so I would appreciate the brave friend who came and talked to me.

Wow....Good luck with this.

 

[RitaZ.]

Slo, that's exactly how I think I should approach it. She is a good friend, and she is a reasonable person, but you never know how a parent will react when told something like this.

 

[slo]

I agree that when talking to parents about their children is like walking on thin ice , but.....I think if you approach this in a way that doesn't make the parent feel as if you are attacking their child, the discussion should hopefully be successful.

You mentioned that the parents are pretty conservative. I would be willing to bet that they will be grateful for your talk because they are not going to want other neighbors to think their DD is something she isn't, if you know what I mean.

I could understand the parents being angry with you if you were complaining about how their DD dressed, or if she was just kissing the boyfriend, but this is different. The parent will probably be embarrassed, I would be, but that doesn't change the fact that I would be grateful for somebody talking to me before my other neighbors started to think my DD was something she isn't.

If you do talk to them....you will need to approach this very, very, very gingerly. Believe me......my thoughts are with you.

 

[Disney's Deluxe Princess]

I think this is a clear case of MYOB. Hopefully, this was just a one time thing. If it becomes a regular happening, then I'd say something.

 

[septbride2002]

Then they'll wonder why she's pregnant at 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not everyone that expeirments in sex at a young age ends up pregnant at 17, 18, or 19 even. Actually my parents were very open about sex with us, so that when I started having sex at 16 years old I was comfortable enough to ask my Mom to take me to get the pill. I never got pregnant and I also married the guy I was with at 16. Now I know my story is the exception but I don't like the stereotype that any girl interested in sex at a young age is automatically going to become a pregnant.

I know I am young (24) and I don't have kids - however I don't think you should say anything to the other parent. It may be that they know exactly what is going on and just because you don't condone the behaviour doesn't mean that they agree with you. You are not her parent.

I agree that doing all of that in the front yard is inappropriate - and if that is what you are concerned about then fine - but as far as her morals as a nice young girl that really isn't your place. And just because a girl is on the honor roll, and a good kid doesn't mean they aren't interested in sex. It is the quite ones you have to watch out for.

I'm not being judgemental - just giving an honest opinion.

~Amanda

 

[disykat]

I don't think you're a prude at all and agree they are being inappropriate. Normally I would say tell the parent. HOWEVER, in your last post you said she had witnessed part of it and seemed unconcerned. That leads me to believe she is choosing to ignore it (denial!!!) and may not be receptive to what you have to say at all.

I would go out and tell the kids to knock off the peep show.