Bus Bully

[kasar]

Just wondering if any of you parents have had to deal with a bully bothering your children on the school bus. This has been going on for quite a while and it's making me so mad! My DD really, really doesn't want me to tell the school or call this kid's parents (I know them and would not hesitate to call them) because she's afraid it would get much worse. And knowing this kid, it probably would.

I don't mind picking her up if I need to but why should we have to do that? She wants to punch him in the face but gave her the old violence never solves anything blah-blah-blah. Frankly, I kind of wish she would just haul off and bop him one (just kidding!). He's just a little punk who's going to grow up to be a big punk. You all know this kid and you know how he's going to turn out because you've seen it a million times before. He's straight out of central casting for "pre-teen, jock jerk".

I promised DD I wouldn't say anything and I need her to be able to trust me at this stage of her life. Any suggestions?

 

[missypie]

How old are the kids? When DS was in 6th grade there were 3 kids who used their first ever bus time to use very bad language and bother one particular girl. He complained about them on his own. Their parents were contacted. Two of them straightened up right away; one didn't.

I don't think I could restrain myself from calling the parents (or, more accurately, having DH do it; he is nicer than I am).

 

[disneysnowflake]

I would call the school and tell the principal or guidance counselor about what is going on. No one should have to put up with that stuff.

Last year my son, who was in 8th grade, was constantly being called names this one kid who shoots his mouth off when he's with his friends. He didn't want me to get involved. Well, I got a phonecall one afternoon informing me that my straight A student son got 4 hours of detention for punching that kid in the mouth 3 times. Not only did he get 4 hours of detention, but he was not allowed to participate in any in-school activities for the rest of the school year. I explained what was going on, but I was told that I should have told someone in the school about the bullying.

The kid stopped shooting his mouth off to my son. My son still didn't feel comfortable riding the bus. So, I picked him up from then on.

I doesn't feel good to be picked on, called names or anything else.

I sure don't want your child to end up getting fed up, punching the tormentor and then your child be punished for being the bully.

I'd tell the school.

 

[Marla Hellwig]

Our school system has zero tolerence to bullies - first offense 3 day suspension and both student and parents have to attend a meeting at school.

Contact school or the bus transporation department, it would help if you know the bus number when you call, it could be the bus driver will know what is going on

 

[Towncrier]

Our DS James got bullied on the bus on the very first day of kindergarten. Having been bullied myself as a child, I was not about to tolerate this behavior. We enrolled James in martial arts with the idea of teaching him self-defense. In retrospect it was the right thing to do. Eventually the bully stopped picking on James because he simply fended off any attacks that this older boy could throw at him.

Phone calls to the school never did help (I'm sorry to say).

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I think most schools are good at discipliining the child without letting him know who complained. If he is only bullying your child it's a different story, but if he bullies many children, there is now way to tell. Just make it clear to the principal that he is not to know who turned the kid in. The principal can always say that "several" parents have complained.
Are there cameras on the busses there?
Robin M.

 

[Kallison]

If she wants to deck him -- let her. Maybe that will teach him a lesson. Of course you could try the proper channels first, don't go to the parents, go to the school. Then let her deck him.

 

[kasar]

Originally posted by Kallison
If she wants to deck him -- let her. Maybe that will teach him a lesson. Of course you could try the proper channels first, don't go to the parents, go to the school. Then let her deck him.

She could definately take him, too! He's such a little scrawny thing.

Well, after she calmed down a bit she decided that she did want me to handle it after all. I'm going to have a little chat with his mom (we're friendly) to see if it can be handled without the school getting involved just yet. But you can bet I'll be at the school if nothing changes. Tonight's Open House at the school so I hope I bump into the mom there. Wish me luck.

 

[ckret01]

Kasar, were you able to talk to the mother of the son? I hope everything goes well.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

I hate saying this but I posted this before. When my daughter was in the 10th grade this girl in one of her classes would bother her. At first it was little things then one day she pushed her in the hall (A boy the girl liked,liked my daughter)She came home and told me. Being that I am over protective of my kids I called the school right away. They said they would,without letting her know who called, talk to her. That didn't work. So my sister who is ten years younger than me and very prtective of my daughter worked with someone who's sister went to my daughters school. Without any violence the girl (who was a senior and had many friends) had a little talk with this girl. My daughter from that point on never had a problem with that girl again. She never even looked at my daughter. My daughter has since graduated and is in college. It is such a shame that you have to resort to these measures but I would never let anyone pick on my kids without doing something. Bullies just don't go away. They prey on kids that are weaker then them. High school is hard enough for kids. They don't need to feel afraid to go. These kids are usually tormented to the point that some could resort to violence. That could be the extreme but take care of the problem before it gets out of hand.

 

[LScot]

I will never let my DD ride a bus to school because of the way my school bus was when I was in high school.

I was never bullied but many kids were. It was painful to watch. Our bus driver was a big part of the problem. It took us about 15-20 minutes to get to the high school from the grade school (which was our starting point and ending point every day) This driver would actually S-L-O-W down so the ride would be longer for the bullied! I think everyone was almost too scared for their own safety to go tell but when asked we did tell.

Once she let 2 girls get off the bus "chasing" after the bullied girl. Those 2 girls beat that kid to a pulp in the parking lot and the driver left that child there and allowed the bullies to get back on the bus to go home. She didn't lose her job.

She didn't lose her job when one morning one of the bully girl's momma approached the bus and the driver gets off the bus to speak with the bully's mom. They proceed to get into a fist fight rolling on the ground and the whole nine yards! She whips the bully's momma and hops back on our bus and proceeds to drive us to school which is about 20 mins. away.

I hope you can resolve this problem for your child. A bus bully is a terrible thing. You are on the bus, you're trapped, you can't get away. Hopefully, there isn't another bus driver in the world like the one I had. I never shared any of this with my parents when I was in school. I have no idea why my friends and I didn't, I just know we didn't and we were, rightly so, afraid of this driver and her group of bullies which she seemed to like.