Buffet or Sit down at a wedding

[Gumbo4x4]

I had a sit down and so did all three of my sons. If I remember correctly my various nephews and nieces all had sit down meals. I did go to a buffet (one of my son's friends). It was fine and kind of fun because it was split up into 4 different ethnic tables.

One of my sister's friends had a buffet like that. My parents went and they said it was just fantastic!!

 

[aprilgail]

I had a sit down and so did all three of my sons. If I remember correctly my various nephews and nieces all had sit down meals. I did go to a buffet (one of my son's friends). It was fine and kind of fun because it was split up into 4 different ethnic tables.

I have been to wedding where they had a bunch of didn't station that were ethnic- but it was always at the cocktail hour, never for the actual dinner. My friends son had the pasta station where you add what you want to the pasta, pick your sauce and they makes it for you, a fajita & taco station, a Chinese food station, carving station and a sushi station along with all the passed hors d'oeuvres.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It's split here. I've been to buffets and I've been to sit downs. Both have had issues but buffets have come out ahead in terms of overall aspect.

As far as food running out it's happened once at a buffet when the food company miscalculated the number of guests (as they estimate a portion size on that) and the other time was a sit down one and the venue (which did both the venue and the catering in their back kitchen) flip flopped the number of chicken and the number of fish...and they ran out of chicken before getting to our table and it took a very long time anyway to even get to our table. I was far more upset at the sit down one because the bride and groom (who are really nice people btw) chose not to include any food beforehand (like apps or whatnot) and didn't have cake afterwards other than cupcakes. So I ended up with a tiny bit of vegetables, that would have been served with the chicken or the fish, since I don't eat fish and was for the most part hungry.

We did a buffet and all out guests said they really enjoyed it. We had 100+ guests. After the wedding party the rest of the tables could go up whenever they wanted. No waiting for a table to be called-we didn't have reserved tables either much less reserved seats (*gasp* I know the horror) aside from 2 tables for each side of the family. There wasn't a stampede of guests either. Everyone was very orderly and we waited enough time too for everyone to have eaten or largely finished eating before other activities (like speeches, first dance, etc) occurred.

The one thing I do agree is an open bar that doesn't require guests to pay for anything including tips. I think it's more about the convenience of the guest not to have to worry about carrying cash. For ours we pre-paid tips (as was an option for the company we chose).

 

[wannabee]

in the south, I've only been to buffets. in the northeast, I've only been to sit down. As long as the food is good I don't care

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I have been to wedding where they had a bunch of didn't station that were ethnic- but it was always at the cocktail hour, never for the actual dinner. My friends son had the pasta station where you add what you want to the pasta, pick your sauce and they makes it for you, a fajita & taco station, a Chinese food station, carving station and a sushi station along with all the passed hors d'oeuvres.

I can’t inagine why anyone would need the “actual dinner” after all that food LOL

 

[mombrontrent]

I can’t inagine why anyone would need the “actual dinner” after all that food LOL

My thoughts exactly! Why bother spending even more money on a 4-5 course meal after everyone is already full from the cocktail hour! I just don’t see the logic.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

With age & the associated memory loss that is following, I’m thankful this particular nugget of knowledge isn’t occupying any of the precious space left in my cranium.

But Gumbo, we have Juniors in high school, in the not too distant future you'll be needed that particular nugget of knowledge!

I've been to plated weddings where the food was awful, and buffet weddings where the food was awful, and a Russian wedding where the food was really weird and we sat at our dinner tables during the ceremony! (Yes, each table had a bottle of white, bottle of red, 2 bottles of vodka!) The best food I ever had at a wedding was a buffet. One of my best friends in high school married a man who lived in very rural western Nebraska and they moved back there. Think town with no stoplights, and they live 10 minutes outside of that town! Her son got married and we went, we didn't expect much from the food, because it was so rural, but apparently the uncle of the bride owns the restaurants in town, and they served prime rib. Not just any prime rib, they served prime rib from the herd of cattle of the father of the groom, that was probably on the hoof the day before! Huge wedding, but 4 buffet tables with gigantic trays of prime rib slices all standing up for you to grab. It was the best beef I'd ever tasted. Then there were 4 flavors of cake, and enough that everyone could have a piece of each flavor if they wanted to! (Chocolate, white, marble, and carrot if you're wondering)

Man, my mouth is watering just thinking about that prime rib!

 

[shoney]

My thoughts exactly! Why bother spending even more money on a 4-5 course meal after everyone is already full from the cocktail hour! I just don’t see the logic.

It’s not really paying more. These are just the standard packages at a typical catering hall.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

My uncles wedding had a full cocktail hour with a tremendous spread. I was stuffed after that. Then dinner was a 5 course meal. And you didn't pick if you wanted steak, seafood or chicken. The servers came out with platters and they gave you some of EVERYTHING. The food was awesome though. I couldn't stop eating!

 

[dclpluto]

How do you know it’s been a long time since a Buffett been served in the state of Connecticut? Highly highly doubt it. I know op is just making it up. You should of said in the state of Connecticut in the weddings I go to it’s been a long time since a buffet was offered

 

[scrapquitler]

what do you prefer

Here in CT it has been a long time since a buffet was offered!

I'm in CT and now that you mention it, I haven't been to a wedding with a buffet in quite a while (thank goodness).

I really dislike having a buffet at a wedding (or anywhere else) for several reasons, reason number one being that I am VERY clumsy and always get anxious about serving myself at a buffet and then having to carry my plate of food across the room to the table where I am going to eat it. More than once I've ended up tripping or sloshing food all over myself in the process. Not fun.

Beside s that, I always wonder about food safety, and I dislike standing in line waiting to serve myself. It feels like I'm in a cafeteria, and I'm sure that's not the mood that the bridal couple wants to set for their wedding reception.

That said, it's up to the hosts what to offer, and I would NEVER voice my opinion if they didn't directly ask me..

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

That said, it's up to the hosts what to offer, and I would NEVER voice my opinion if they didn't directly ask me..

Out of curiosity would you tell them these things if they asked you directly?

food safety

standing in line waiting to serve myself

feels like I'm in a cafeteria

 

[scrapquitler]

Out of curiosity would you tell them these things if they asked you directly?

It would depend on who it was that was asking. And I would do it in a gentle way. But if they know me well enough to ask me directly, they'd know how clumsy I am and how much I suffer from anxiety.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It would depend on who it was that was asking. And I would do it in a gentle way. But if they know me well enough to ask me directly, they'd know how clumsy I am and how much I suffer from anxiety.

Oh I can totally understand the balancing food on plates part (I get that thought in my head too). I was more speaking about telling someone you were concerned about food safety, that it felt like a cafeteria and you didn't like standing in life waiting to serve yourself (though I can understand if part of that is anxiety related).

I'm trying to picture how you would voice the food safety and cafeteria complaint in a gentle way.

 

[scrapquitler]

Oh I can totally understand the balancing food on plates part (I get that thought in my head too). I was more speaking about telling someone you were concerned about food safety, that it felt like a cafeteria and you didn't like standing in life waiting to serve yourself (though I can understand if part of that is anxiety related).

I'm trying to picture how you would voice the food safety and cafeteria complaint in a gentle way.

I would definitely chalk it up to my anxiety, which wouldn't be an exaggeration or a lie.

 

[leebee]

Get ready to clutch your pearls, Martha... We've been looking at venues and caterers and many of them in this area are REQUIRING cash bar only. A couple of places said it's part of their liability insurance. Works for me, if it controls alcohol consumption. Honestly, the last thing DD or I want is for BF's frat brothers to start drinking the night away at our expense- their college days are OVER! Actually, I have been to more weddings that are cash bar than open bar; nobody here is offended or anything, at least not that I've noticed. DD is talking about having free punch/iced tea/coffee but using a cash bar, as that is what her favorite caterer is offering. We'll see... there're no concrete wedding plans yet; we're just scoping out the situation so we have some idea of the costs!

I prefer buffet to sit-down, because there are more food choices and the food stays warmer with buffet. I do appreciate buffets more when the salad/rolls/soup are on the table. It gives you something to do/eat while waiting for your turn at the buffet line and fewer plates to juggle.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Get ready to clutch your pearls, Martha... We've been looking at venues and caterers and many of them in this area are REQUIRING cash bar only. A couple of places said it's part of their liability insurance. Works for me, if it controls alcohol consumption. Honestly, the last thing DD or I want is for BF's frat brothers to start drinking the night away at our expense- their college days are OVER! Actually, I have been to more weddings that are cash bar than open bar; nobody here is offended or anything, at least not that I've noticed. DD is talking about having free punch/iced tea/coffee but using a cash bar, as that is what her favorite caterer is offering. We'll see... there're no concrete wedding plans yet; we're just scoping out the situation so we have some idea of the costs!

I've never known anyone to get offended at a cash bar but I do think it's preferable not to have one. Around here none of the venues we looked into demanded cash bars nor encouraged it. It was just an option (cash, no cash, pre-paid tips, have guests pay for tips)

As far as controling alcohol consumption well you can control how much alcohol you purchase so it's not a never-ending supply. We managed to have alcohol at our wedding and control things with alcoholic grandmother too.

As far as liability insurance the venue we had ours at required us to purchase (which is common) our own liability insurance for a one-day event OR to show that our renters or homeowner's policy had the adequate liability amount and that a Certificate of Liability Insurance was printed out with the venue's name on it.

But you can only do so much if the venues or other companies require this and require that.

 

[shoney]

People here would be very surprised to pay for their own drinks at a wedding
To say the least. Lol
Even with a cash bar the host could pick up the tab at the end of the event. They don’t have to pass that cost onto a gift giving guest.
Sounds like some people don’t want to pay for alcohol. I provide it at a house party so I can’t imagine not providing it for a catered event.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Even with a cash bar the host could pick up the tab at the end of the event.

How would you go about picking up the tab afterwards?

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Oh man the first time my in laws went to a cash bar party they were flabbergasted. It was for a quinceanera. Now my in laws were not born in the USA but have been here for 30 years. They speak no English. In our culture you provide everything when you throw a party. Asking someone to come to your party and pay for alcohol (or anything for that matter) is very offensive. And in their (our) culture alcohol is like soda, water and iced tea. It's really not a big deal. Some people make alcohol to be this huge taboo subject. My mother's family included. They won't think of serving alcohol at a party. In their minds if you drink, you are an alcoholic. You have one drink you are buzzed. Oh man you dropped your fork, you need to be flagged and escorted out. LOL It's quite comical. My mother actually tried to talk me out of having alcohol at my son's graduation party. Not going to happen. And I would never think to charge for it. Like PP stated, if a place required cash bar I would pay the bill at the end of the night.