Buffet or Sit down at a wedding

[tasha99]

I got married in December and had a buffet of roast beef (prime sirloin, which I like because it's marbled but not as fatty as ribeye), potatoes, and several veggies/salads. We did that ourselves, but had the cake catered. I made my own cake toppers with polymer clay, though, which were little bride and groom penguins.

That’s interesting. Beer & wine bars here are considered tacky.

We didn't even serve beer! My BIL is the viticulturist for a pretty renowned vineyard, so we bought a bunch of wine with his discount and served it. That flew because it was a small, family wedding with only 30 guests, and we're mostly wine drinkers. The only person I know who regularly drinks hard alcohol is my husband.

I guess b/c ppl know it’s cheap? It’s not common at venues here at all. You would really have to seek it out. I really don’t know, but I know it’s one of those things. I’ve only been to one in my life out of the countless weddings over the years & ppl definitely talked!

Huh. I'm too old to worry about things like that, but I'd try to find a kinder group to hang out with. It's a party to celebrate the union of a couple--people worrying about whether something is cheap or not strikes me as shocking. It's like the "pay for your plate rule" that I learned about in some other thread here. I find that pretty obnoxious as well. We requested "no gifts," as we're older and already own a house with enough stuff in it.

 

[luvsJack]

I don’t know if it’s all of Louisiana. I’m talking about New Orleans area mostly. Maybe it’s b/c drinking is such a part of the culture here (for better or worse). There are tons of venues here that aren’t just for weddings but parties too (as we do that a lot too). At our wedding it was $75/head for food & drink, but that was 12 years ago so I don’t know the cost now. But most basic packages included at least bar brand liquor & wine & beer. You would have to go out of your way to find a venue that did beer & wine only. It’s just not a thing here. I have literally only been to one in my entire life that was beer & wine only & they used a venue that was not really a wedding venue per se & hired an outside caterer.

Most venues here do not do the catering nor the bar . You have to book them yourself. The ones that do, still do not automatically serve hard liquor.

DD's future MIL used a venue for her dd's wedding in Slidell, it did include a bar package. But there is another one in Slidell that dd wants to look at that doesn't and does not allow anything except beer and wine. Its a beautiful old home with a garden and outside venue that is absolutely gorgeous. So, apparently its not all of Louisiana and not so far from New Orleans that its not like that. T




But you know what, the reception is supposed to be what is fun and enjoyable for the bride and groom and their friends. Whatever dd's wedding turns out to be, I am so glad to know that their friends and family are not the kind to gossip about what was or wasn't served. THAT is tacky. (not meaning you LSUmiss but just in general). They will enjoy dancing the night away with the couple and just enjoy the moment not worry about what was spent or not.

 

[cabanafrau]

DD's wedding will be a buffet. The restaraunt that is catering will send servers and carvers. They will help to serve at the buffet so that portions are controlled until everyone is served and then they can eat to their heart's content.

Very few sit down meals at weddings here. Don't really know why. But very few caterers even offer the option and they have all said its because there was so little call for it and it causes them to need more servers.

And 99.9% of open bars here are beer and wine only.

Your daughter's made a lot of plans in just a couple weeks. I hope it works out happily for her.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Of the few sit down dinner weddings I've been to only one had good food. The rest were just blah. No flavor, food barely hot, etc. All of the buffet weddings I've been to the food has been GREAT.

IMO food is very important at weddings, and any party, for that matter.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Weddings here are more elaborate than most other places. Cocktail hours are buffet and usually very elaborate with hot and cold buffet stations, carving stations, pasta stations, passed appetizers and usually very elaborate cheese, fruit, meat and seafood displays. THEN dinner is always sit down usually 4 sometimes 5 courses. You definitely have to pace yourself at the weddings around here and show up hungry otherwise you won't make it past the cocktail hour - lol.

I prefer sit down weddings because that is what we are used to but I have no problem with buffet meals in general although I have only been to 3 weddings that I can recall with a buffet dinner and 2 were in PA.

 

[LSUmiss]

I got married in December and had a buffet of roast beef (prime sirloin, which I like because it's marbled but not as fatty as ribeye), potatoes, and several veggies/salads. We did that ourselves, but had the cake catered. I made my own cake toppers with polymer clay, though, which were little bride and groom penguins.



We didn't even serve beer! My BIL is the viticulturist for a pretty renowned vineyard, so we bought a bunch of wine with his discount and served it. That flew because it was a small, family wedding with only 30 guests, and we're mostly wine drinkers. The only person I know who regularly drinks hard alcohol is my husband.


Huh. I'm too old to worry about things like that, but I'd try to find a kinder group to hang out with. It's a party to celebrate the union of a couple--people worrying about whether something is cheap or not strikes me as shocking. It's like the "pay for your plate rule" that I learned about in some other thread here. I find that pretty obnoxious as well. We requested "no gifts," as we're older and already own a house with enough stuff in it.

I honestly don’t know why. But, it is considered tacky not to here. It’s not about finding a kinder group. It’s just something that always is here so it’s weird when it’s not. It’s just that unheard of that ppl talk. Nothing terrible just stuff like “really? I’ve never heard of that here.” Maybe it’s simply the fact that most venues have it so you would really have to try hard to find a place that didn’t.

 

[luvsJack]

Your daughter's made a lot of plans in just a couple weeks. I hope it works out happily for her.

They do a lot of talking about it and know what they want, even if its not set in stone yet.

And thank you, me too. We have spent a lot of time with them and talking about marriage and relationships. He has even agreed to couple's counseling, he says he wants this to be forever and he knows that they have to work at it to make it that way. So, that is encouraging. We will see.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

How would you know what they paid? Seems odd to me the hosts would discuss that with the guests.

Why?

Uh, how else are guests expected to "cover their plates" unless the hosts informs them of the cost?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Weddings here are more elaborate than most other places. Cocktail hours are buffet and usually very elaborate with hot and cold buffet stations, carving stations, pasta stations, passed appetizers and usually very elaborate cheese, fruit, meat and seafood displays. THEN dinner is always sit down usually 4 sometimes 5 courses. You definitely have to pace yourself at the weddings around here and show up hungry otherwise you won't make it past the cocktail hour - lol.

I prefer sit down weddings because that is what we are used to but I have no problem with buffet meals in general although I have only been to 3 weddings that I can recall with a buffet dinner and 2 were in PA.

I think I’d be ready to pop before the “meal” even arrived LOL

 

[mjkacmom]

Uh, how else are guests expected to "cover their plates" unless the hosts informs them of the cost?

Those of us in these areas have a pretty good idea of how much weddings cost.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I am so glad that cake and punch weddings at a church were still acceptable when I got married! They had been the norm in my area when I was growing up. (My mom was an organist so I saw lots of weddings!) Personally I miss those weddings. You went to the wedding, you socialized a little bit and congratulated the bride and groom, then you went home. There was never a "pay for your plate" expectation, nor was there the expectation that the bride/groom and their families spend a wad of money on the wedding. It was all about he wedding not the reception. Sometimes there was a family and close friends party later that went well into the night at someone's home after with more food, but the weddings were pretty simple. I miss the 60's and 70's! Even in the 80's here things stayed pretty simple. I really had never attended a sit down meal (or even a full buffet) at a wedding until well into the 90's.
I remember going out to eat with friends before or after weddings and not thinking a thing about it. Meals just weren't part of weddings in my area.

1. There are no requirements for any certain kind of reception manners wise. Cake and punch in the fellowship hall is fine. Sit down dinner is fine too as is buffet. And really, the time of the day and the budget dictates the reception as much as anything. Our wedding service let out at 2:30 pm. So no formal sit down. Had it been scheduled to let out at 6:30 pm we certainly would have strongly considered it along with dinner food.
2. There is no such thing as pay for your plate manners wise unless you're going to a foreign wedding in which case there may be. You as a guest may bring the exact same gift whether it's cake and punch, or filet mignon, lobster and caviar. Not manners but common sense dictates that you gift based upon your relation to the bride or groom, what you know of their needs, likes, and wants, and your budget. Threads on social media where the bride complains that someone didn't pay for their plate rarely end well for the bride.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

Those of us in these areas have a pretty good idea of how much weddings cost.

Yeah, I know. Most people have a rough idea, or somehow word gets spread around as to the cost.

 

[aprilgail]

Those of us in these areas have a pretty good idea of how much weddings cost.

Pretty much standard gift is minimum 150.00 per person attending wedding, I tend to NOT bring a date so I don't have to pony up 150 extra!

 

[antmaril]

I have enjoyed all of these wedding scenarios over the years. When I was married (almost 44 years ago), we had a family style dinner, which was, and continues to be, very common in this area of Michigan. If it is a really large wedding, I prefer sit down or family style, just because a buffet takes a while.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I got married in December and had a buffet of roast beef (prime sirloin, which I like because it's marbled but not as fatty as ribeye), potatoes, and several veggies/salads. We did that ourselves, but had the cake catered. I made my own cake toppers with polymer clay, though, which were little bride and groom penguins.



We didn't even serve beer! My BIL is the viticulturist for a pretty renowned vineyard, so we bought a bunch of wine with his discount and served it. That flew because it was a small, family wedding with only 30 guests, and we're mostly wine drinkers. The only person I know who regularly drinks hard alcohol is my husband.


Huh. I'm too old to worry about things like that, but I'd try to find a kinder group to hang out with. It's a party to celebrate the union of a couple--people worrying about whether something is cheap or not strikes me as shocking. It's like the "pay for your plate rule" that I learned about in some other thread here. I find that pretty obnoxious as well. We requested "no gifts," as we're older and already own a house with enough stuff in it.

It's time for Bad Manners CW4D!!!! Honey she fed us Sirloin. Yes I'm telling you this is sirloin. Gasp. Shhhh well don't mention it and be quiet. We don't want anyone else to know. We didn't give them our present yet did we? Good. Let's take it back and get a cheaper one. We had a much more expensive plate covered. I told you we should have just bought a chia pet.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Those of us in these areas have a pretty good idea of how much weddings cost.

With age & the associated memory loss that is following, I’m thankful this particular nugget of knowledge isn’t occupying any of the precious space left in my cranium.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

With age & the associated memory loss that is following, I’m thankful this particular nugget of knowledge isn’t occupying any of the precious space left in my cranium.

That's the thing. Most people that have not been to or done a wedding recently would have very little idea of what the particular one they are going to costs.

 

[shoney]

That's the thing. Most people that have not been to or done a wedding recently would have very little idea of what the particular one they are going to costs.

Around here we have so many catering halls that do weddings bar/bat mitzvahs sweet 16. Etc and they all run around the same price give or take. That is where the average $150pp comes in

Much like the countless kid party places that run around $20 to $25 bowling. Bouncy places. Laser tag etc. therefore the gift of around that is standard for a kid to give another kid.

No one ever prices out someone else’s party to determine the gift.

 

[soccerdad72]

It's time for Bad Manners CW4D!!!! Honey she fed us Sirloin. Yes I'm telling you this is sirloin. Gasp. Shhhh well don't mention it and be quiet. We don't want anyone else to know. We didn't give them our present yet did we? Good. Let's take it back and get a cheaper one. We had a much more expensive plate covered. I told you we should have just bought a chia pet.

I wish I could find it (or remember the name of the comedian), but I heard a stand up bit a while ago joking about opening the wedding presents during the reception line and directing guests to different lines based on what they gave.

 

[Ariel484]

Our wedding was sit-down (salad, rolls, entree that guests picked ahead of time out of 4 choices...maybe some other stuff I'm forgetting). We went into it wanting a buffet assuming that it would be cheaper, but the head food guy at our venue said sit-down would actually be more cost-effective since they'd know exactly how much food to make.

Everyone said the food was great and we were happy with it.