Broken Promise

[aprilgail2]

Your short dating history seems long to me. DH and I went on exactly three dates before we got engaged. We've been married 9 years and still going strong. Somtimes when somethings right it's just right.

Can you honestly say that you would be happy if your daughter went on 3 dates with a guy and got engaged to him?? I would think mine had lost her mind if she did that. Sure sometimes it works but boy would that be upsetting to me as a parent!

 

[kayrosek]

Can you honestly say that you would be happy if your daughter went on 3 dates with a guy and got engaged to him?? I would think mine had lost her mind if she did that. Sure sometimes it works but boy would that be upsetting to me as a parent!

True I'm not sure how I would feel although I geuss it would depend on the situation. In mine and DH's case we had known each other before dating. We met several months before that and had a casual semi-friendship that developed into a better friendship a couple months before our first date and then very suddenly went from friendship to something much more pretty much over night. We had only actually seen each other a couple of time over that whole friendship until that first date which we really haden't thought would be a date. We thought we'd go to dinner as friends and it was just suddenly obvious to us.

 

[DebIreland]

Honey, you don't have to justify or tell everyone about your life with your fiance'. Every time you do, you give all of the folks on this board the opportunity to come back at you with more judgments on you and your relationship, kwim?

Do yourself a favor, sweetheart. Know you're entitled to your feelings and that you don't have to explain your relationship or your feelings to anyone here, and back outta the thread.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Can you honestly say that you would be happy if your daughter went on 3 dates with a guy and got engaged to him?? I would think mine had lost her mind if she did that. Sure sometimes it works but boy would that be upsetting to me as a parent!

Oh honey, A-Men.

 

[EMom]

Unless Mom and Dad are footing the bill, I don't think so. (Disney Fairy Tale weddings) Unless they haven't yet looked into pricing! (If you think movies are expensive...)

DD11 declared her intention to get married at WDW when we were there last Christmas. We were on the monorail near The Grand Floridian and I spotted the coach....I assume it's the Cinderella coach or something......which was on its way to a wedding venue. I pointed it out to DD and her eyes sparkled. It was then that she matter-of-factly stated she would get married at WDW. I turned to DH and said, without missing a beat, "Start saving now. RIGHT NOW."

 

[sookie]

Me and my Fiancee worked everything out he bought me Chocolate and Rose and he made it up to me and apologized for not being able to take me to see the movie.

Would have been cheaper to just take you to the movie!

 

[DebIreland]

The OP has now addressed the same comments numerous times. She has explained more than she should have had to but people still insist on pointing out the same things re: her choice of fiance and her lack of money. It's downright cruel at this point.

- Her fiance is sorry. He overspent on his fishing trip. Big deal.
- He bought her a rose and chocolates (costing $5 so no, to those who suggested he could just as easily have paid for a movie, he couldn't).
- Just because she has 'Disney fairytale wedding' in her sig does not mean she's actually planning to get married in WDW. I presume she wants some Disney touches, that's all.
- Money is tight for this couple (like it is for millions of people around the world). That's her business and she doesn't need to be judged constantly because of it.

 

[katiebug86]

I want to feel bad for the OP, but at the same time it's like she set herself up for all the criticism. Honestly, I really don't understand any of it. Why it costs so money cook fish. How you can buy chocolate and flowers for $5? I am 23 and I have been with my DF for 6 years and we never did the month thing, ever. The whole longest relationship thing doesn't really make sense to me either. But if she is happy I guess that's all that matters. I guess the moral of the story is don't throw a pitty party for yourself on the disboards and expect EVERYONE to agree with you, because it won't happen.

 

[Nancyg56]

But if she is happy I guess that's all that matters. I guess the moral of the story is don't throw a pitty party for yourself on the disboards and expect EVERYONE to agree with you, because it won't happen.

I believe that there is a difference between folks disagreeing with the OP and folks who have decided that her choices in life should be picked apart and ridiculed.

I am not sure what the couples circumstances are but she has chosen to come here for a little support. I remember that first time my DH disappointed me it was not a drop dead issue for us, but it was an eye opener for how the two of us needed to communicate. Did no one else here have a little glitch when a little pity party was all it took to put the who event into perspective? Geez...........please look a little deeper here before tearing her apart, it is not that hard to choose to be nice.

 

[tlbwriter]

if this is the worst disappointment you have "til death do you part" consider yourself very lucky! I wish I could say the same about my dh I hope you get to see the movie soon...

Where did she say this was the worst disappointment ever? Why jump to that conclusion simply to make her look bad? Are we not allowed to gripe a bit about life's little disappointments? Do YOU personally only complain about the very worst imaginable problems?

This is what I find oddest of all about this. I find it very unusual that one would PROMISE something like that. It would be much more natural in a relationship for him to have mentioned that he was planning to take you to the movie. In which case, I can totally see a man (or even a woman--myself included) not thinking that was a set in stone and then thinking nothing of making a change--especially since this was just a movie and just a 9 month anniversary (ie, not anything most people think of as majorly significant).

Did he really and truly PROMISE? If so, can I ask why? I would not feel that a relationship is solid or the people trusting and not too needy if there was a NEED to promise to do something as simple as a movie.

What's so unusual about making plans for a date and expecting them to be honored? Does it matter if it was a PROMISE or just a plan? The bottom line is, he said "I'm going to take you to Movie X on Y Night." It doesn't matter if there was an engraved invitation or just a text message. He made plans with her and then basically said sorry, no can do, because I spent that money doing something fun for ME.

I know the OP has dug herself a little hole here, but really, it seems like people are finding ridiculous reasons to pick her apart.

 

[HM]

I don't remember when my husband and I started dating. I think it was mid May 1982. On our second date we went to a mall shopping and we bought a little ming tree. It was probably about 6" tall. Now 29 years later we still have it and it's big and thriving.

A little OT but a fun story. We always tried rooting cuttings from it but could never get them to take. About 4 months ago a small branch busted off it and my husband just left it laying in the planter. It turned yellow and shriveled up but then it started turning green again. My husband gave it a little tug and lo and behold it had rooted! We calculated back and it started growing right around the same time our first grandchild was conceived. We have since re-potted it into it's own planter and we are giving it to our son and (F)DIL. It's about the size now of the one we originally bought. Isn't that cool.

Great story!
MY DH and I had our first date June 30, 1987. We moved in together November 1, 1987 (married Nov 1998 after four month engagement). We bought a ficus tree as our first piece of 'furniture'. We still have it today many homes later.

 

[ols386]

You know what my point is.

No, I don't know what your point is. Please explain, if you care to.

IMO, why does it matter where they are getting married? Maybe the parents are paying for it. That's certainly not unusual.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

How you can buy chocolate and flowers for $5?

She didn't say he bought a pound of Godiva and a dozen long-stemmed red roses. A Hershey bar is probably 89 cents and a rose is probably $1.99 at the grocery store.

So yes, it can be done. But like I said previously... I'm sure that's not good enough for the snobs on this board.

I believe that there is a difference between folks disagreeing with the OP and folks who have decided that her choices in life should be picked apart and ridiculed.

I am not sure what the couples circumstances are but she has chosen to come here for a little support. I remember that first time my DH disappointed me it was not a drop dead issue for us, but it was an eye opener for how the two of us needed to communicate. Did no one else here have a little glitch when a little pity party was all it took to put the who event into perspective? Geez...........please look a little deeper here before tearing her apart, it is not that hard to choose to be nice.

I'm really disgusted by some of the comments on here. It's painfully obvious to me that some people think they are awfully special. It's really sad.

 

[MichelleVW]

I'm really disgusted by some of the comments on here. It's painfully obvious to me that some people think they are awfully special. It's really sad.

I don't see anything as nasty...just real life. If you get upset that your boyfriend went fishing instead of seeing Lion King on your 9 month anniversary you are in for a long life of disappointments. I think my DH is the best, but he forgets EVERYTHING and is a terrible gift giver...but I know that and I know he loves me, so I don't sweat the small stuff. I think that's what people are trying to tell her....Don't sweat the Small stuff.

 

[ols386]

I don't see anything as nasty...just real life. If you get upset that your boyfriend went fishing instead of seeing Lion King on your 9 month anniversary you are in for a long life of disappointments. I think my DH is the best, but he forgets EVERYTHING and is a terrible gift giver...but I know that and I know he loves me, so I don't sweat the small stuff. I think that's what people are trying to tell her....Don't sweat the Small stuff.

If my dh promised to take me to a specific movie, and we already had plans in place, and he decided to go off and go fishing instead, I'd be ticked.

It's rude to make plans with anyone, whether it's a spouse, partner, or friend, and then blow them off, which is basically what the op's b/f did.

Wouldn't be the end of the world or anything like that, but yeah, I'd be ticked.

 

[MichelleVW]

If my dh promised to take me to a specific movie, and we already had plans in place, and he decided to go off and go fishing instead, I'd be ticked.

It's rude to make plans with anyone, whether it's a spouse, partner, or friend, and then blow them off, which is basically what the op's b/f did.

Wouldn't be the end of the world or anything like that, but yeah, I'd be ticked.

I agree....but it's still the small stuff to me.

 

[tlbwriter]

I agree....but it's still the small stuff to me.

Too bad there's not a friendly place where you can vent about the small stuff to blow off a little steam.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I don't see anything as nasty...just real life. If you get upset that your boyfriend went fishing instead of seeing Lion King on your 9 month anniversary you are in for a long life of disappointments. I think my DH is the best, but he forgets EVERYTHING and is a terrible gift giver...but I know that and I know he loves me, so I don't sweat the small stuff. I think that's what people are trying to tell her....Don't sweat the Small stuff.

I learned a long time ago that my DH is NOT the romantic type. The last Valentine's Day before we got married, he told me "I thought about getting you flowers, but I didn't." That was a HUGE deal to me! Apparently he thought we were engaged, he didn't have to *try* anymore. I honestly thought about breaking up with him over it, even though the dress had been bought and the invitations were being printed. But I got some advice from someone wiser, and decided that expectations had to be clearly communicated. I was upset, and even now I kid him about "I thought about doing xyz, but I didn't."

And I got a rose last week, just because it was Wednesday.

 

[MichelleVW]

Too bad there's not a friendly place where you can vent about the small stuff to blow off a little steam.

Twitter!!!

 

[ols386]

Twitter!!!

Twitter isn't a discussion board.

I think sometimes one just needs to blow off a little steam, get some honest feedback, in a nice manner, without being spoken down to like happens sometimes on the dis board.