Breast feeding in public... gross or okay?

[inkedupmomma]

My guess is that if you were to start a thread on the DIS about what people think about women (or men for that matter) who dress in a revealing manner, people would have plenty to say!

As far as Facebook...I have no idea why some of the stuff that is on Facebook is allowed to be on there. Of course, I also have no idea why someone would want to post a half-nude photo of themselves or a photo of themselves nursing their child, on a public Internet website anyhow, so what do I know?

hehhe.. that is true. I am not sure why people post pics of doing either..but again, to each his/her own I guess. Just funny how the online sites have these weird rules??

 

[diznygirl]

breast feeding is perfectly acceptable and no one has a problem with it.

that is absolutely 100% true! and fabulous!

It would be wonderful if bottle-feeding in public were just as fabulous. Too often the mother is seen as a child abuser for giving her kids a bottle. The baby needs to be fed, whatever way possible.

Bottle feeding is a beautiful thing too!

 

[Jennasis]

Breast feeding is wonderful. That said, if someone were to start to do so in public in a non-discreet manor, I would excuse myself from the situation if I could. I don't need to see your ****s. Only the baby does. Got a blankie covering the meal up? Not a problem.

I have been in plenty of situations where I couldn't remove myself, so I suck it up and ignore it as best I can.

 

[inkedupmomma]

It would be wonderful if bottle-feeding in public were just as fabulous. Too often the mother is seen as a child abuser for giving her kids a bottle. The baby needs to be fed, whatever way possible.

Bottle feeding is a beautiful thing too!

the topic of this post is breast feeding. no one is arguing about bottle feeding. Bottle feeding is still the norm, more so than breast feeding..so not sure where you are getting judged?

making sure a child is fed and properly nourished is always a wonderful thing. I rather see a kid taking a bottle than not eating at all!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I don't think they meant "work" as in a career, I think the PP said they still had "work to do" as in activism work educating women about breastfeeding.

If that's the case.. I'll agree with Planogirl and say that all the women I know are AWARE of their options, they simply make a personal decision - and that's their right. I don't necessarily think it's anyone's place to preach to the other side about whether their decision is right or wrong.

I agree that most women know there are two options as far as feeding their babies, but I do think there is "more work to do", to make breastfeeding more acceptable in society and support the women who do it. Many women quit earlier than they want to because of the flak they get BFIP or pumping at work.

Many women say they will breastfeed "if I can". Of course, some women can't breastfeed (I know that, I'm an adoptive mom who tried to relactate, but couldn't!), but in our society, there is a perception that this is a huge, commonplace problem. Perfectly healthy women with normal breasts seem to think there is a huge possibility that they won't be able to, and set themselves up for failure. Failure rates among women who attempt breastfeeding in the U.S. are much higher than in other countries where breastfeeding is seen as perfectly acceptable and women encourage each other to keep trying.

For example: In New York City hospitals they stopped handing out free samples of formula from the formula companies to promote breastfeeding. Well what about those mothers that have to formula feed. It is not always a choice. Please keep that in mind.

I thought they just stopped automatically handing them to every mother, and pulling out bottles and feeding every child whose mom was asleep when they cried? Don't they still give out the free samples to women who ask for them? That's been what I have read about these policy changes in hospitals around the country.

Like I said, I couldn't bf one of my kids (even though other adoptive moms have been successful). I have been on the receiving end of the dirty looks when breastfeeding my first, and when bottle-feeding my second. I always try to give a big smile to every mom I see feeding her baby, whether by breast or by bottle, because I know that every one of us deserves to be supported in what she does.

 

[castleview]

I'm jumping in way late on this one, I know.

I'm fine with nursing in public. I did it myself. However, I was discreet about it. My ****s were not at their most attractive while I was breastfeeding, so I don't think anyone needed to see them hanging out while the kid wasn't attached.

 

[cdrn1]

I am a middle-aged semi-prude...can't help it, guilt-inducing Catholic upbringing. That being said, I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with a mom feeding her child anywhere the child is hungry. I have never witnessed a mom being indiscreet, unless she was a new mom who had not yet gotten the hang of it. It really is not as easy as it looks at first.

So, not gross, and not in the least offensive. Anywhere, anytime.
The comment quoted below: very offensive and uncalled for. I sure hope it was a misguided attempt at sarcasm or humor.

(but what i really hate to see is a fat person eating in public )

 

[inkedupmomma]

I agree that most women know there are two options as far as feeding their babies, but I do think there is "more work to do", to make breastfeeding more acceptable in society and support the women who do it. Many women quit earlier than they want to because of the flak they get BFIP or pumping at work.

Many women say they will breastfeed "if I can". Of course, some women can't breastfeed (I know that, I'm an adoptive mom who tried to relactate, but couldn't!), but in our society, there is a perception that this is a huge, commonplace problem. Perfectly healthy women with normal breasts seem to think there is a huge possibility that they won't be able to, and set themselves up for failure. Failure rates among women who attempt breastfeeding in the U.S. are much higher than in other countries where breastfeeding is seen as perfectly acceptable and women encourage each other to keep trying.
it's easier to say i will try and see if I can than to say, I don't want to do this because i feel weird about it. I am in complete agreement that more woman need to support each other when it comes to bf!

I thought they just stopped automatically handing them to every mother, and pulling out bottles and feeding every child whose mom was asleep when they cried? Don't they still give out the free samples to women who ask for them? That's been what I have read about these policy changes in hospitals around the country.

Like I said, I couldn't bf one of my kids (even though other adoptive moms have been successful). I have been on the receiving end of the dirty looks when breastfeeding my first, and when bottle-feeding my second. I always try to give a big smile to every mom I see feeding her baby, whether by breast or by bottle, because I know that every one of us deserves to be supported in what she does.

bravo to you for trying to bf an adopted child! it's awesome to hear about that!

 

[RadioNate]

I will preface my remarks by saying that I am a nurse so there is not much about the human body that shocks me in terms of seeing body parts. I just generally see them in the privacy of someone's hospital room and not in the checkout line at the mall.

I will introduce you to my crazy SIL. She breastfed her children by removing her breast entirely from it's nursing bra cup, holding it in her hand with the entire breast completely exposed to "adjust" it (I never understood what there was to "adjust"...it only hangs one way. It's not like it has a twist off cap or something!) and then would make a big production out of saying "Oh, Baby is hungry today, he's really latching on, what a good suckler Baby is" (OK, thanks for the play-by-play Howard Cosell!). She would switch sides by leaving the 1st breast hanging out of her shirt and doing the same "maneuvers" with the second breast...out completely, "adjust", play-by-play, with the first breast still hanging out completely. She could clear a room faster than lightning...the moment she started to unbutton her shirt....VROOM! everyone was gone.

The other indiscreet BF'er I saw was the lady whose 5 year old came up to her at a New Year's Eve party, unbuttoned her blouse and started to BF. Now mind you, all the men in the room went RUNNING to the bar (which was, thankfully, in a different room). She was another one with the breast hanging out thing. I don't think there's anything worse than seeing a breast entirely hanging out with a 5 year old attached to it. I am also not sure of the wisdom of having a much older child (like a 4 year old or older) BF....I think there could be some developmentally "confusing" issues there. It's been a long time since I took child development though.

All that being said, the majority of people I know BF just fine and perfectly normally and discreetly. But it's always the odd ones that you remember.

While I'm sure your SIL was less than discreet. I did want to say that the 'holding' of the breast until latch is how they teach you to do it at the hospital. At least that is how I was taught. This is TMI I'm sure but I also had keep my hand there to maintain my adjustment so DD could breathe out her nose. I couldn't achieve a proper latch with either of my kids without the holding and adjusting.

So while I believe you that she made a total production out of it. Sometimes a little adjustment may be necessary.

 

[Green Tea]

It doesn't bother me at all.

 

[Darsa]

Originally Posted by MizTink
(but what i really hate to see is a fat person eating in public )

Wow, I missed this one the first time around, then saw it quoted. I wish I'd missed that too, how completely ignorant and RUDEas all get out!! Wow, that's really sad that people can say such nasty things.

 

[PaulaSB12]

She could have at least used a blanket in the garden.

And do they even have the same father!!!!!!!!!

 

[ChrizJen]

I know I'm late in chiming in on the subject, but I think that a woman should feel comfortable feeding her child whenever and wherever she needs to. And without feeling like she has to hide it. People who have an issue just need to get over it. Really. We're not expected to put a blanket over our heads when we eat. Why should a baby? A woman's ability to feed her child is one of the most beautiful, fundamental gifts nature gives us. Why do we feel like we have to hide it, like it's something to be ashamed of????

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Wow, I missed this one the first time around, then saw it quoted. I wish I'd missed that too, how completely ignorant and RUDEas all get out!! Wow, that's really sad that people can say such nasty things.

While it was rude, I think the very odd point was that, so is saying or implying that folks hate seeing a baby being NIP and that saying so is ignorant.


Kind of like--a Modest Proposal. Sometimes folks use aburdities to prove the point that what is being suggest is equally as absurd.

One might say that some people are just looking to be offended by that statement as it was pointed out to us who are offended by folks suggesting absurdities so that they don't have to witness what they perceive as "gross" and "icky".

 

[GEM]

I loooove seeing nursing moms out and about. It makes me remember one of the sweetest, most amazing periods of my life.

My little guy nursed until he self-weaned at about 3 1/2 years old. So, yes, I fed him in public lots and lots of times. I never covered up with a blanket or anything, but you certainly couldn't "see anything" when he was latched on. Yes, if you looked, you could tell he was nursing. But, if just the idea of knowing that he was nursing was bothersome to someone, I certainly didn't care. That was their problem, not mine. I fed him all over the place. As several people have mentioned, many states now have laws protecting the rights of nursing mothers to feed their babies anywhere they are legally allowed to be. It is actually against the law to ask them to cover up or move.

And, yes, I nursed mine on the go...including walking around Disney World while he nursed in a sling. That's part of the great appeal of breastfeeding. It's easily available anytime anywhere with no special prep or equipment! It's the original "to go" meal! Like most breastfeeding moms, I got really good at it. I could nurse my son while I was talking on the phone, cleaning the house, eating a meal myself, shopping in the grocery store, typing on the computer, etc. Yeah, there are times when you drop everything and stare down into your baby's eyes while he nurses. Those are precious, sweet memories. But, that isn't always practical...especially if you have a baby who nurses pretty much constantly, like mine did.

For what it's worth, my son was born at 26 weeks. He was one pound and seven ounces at birth and spent 3 months in the NICU before coming home. So, those early months were full of lots of struggles....pumping, trying to teach a tiny weak baby to latch on, trying to keep my supply up, etc. But, it all worked out great in the end. He was totally and exclusively breastfed for the first 8 months of his life, including his time in the NICU, and then continued to nurse well into toddlerhood. So, yeah, I love seeing nursing moms. And, I'm so happy that we've gotten to the point where it's not unusual. Now, if we can just truly get past whatever last hangups exist, then these types of threads won't even be necessary anymore because nobody will think anything about it.

 

[inkedupmomma]

I loooove seeing nursing moms out and about. It makes me remember one of the sweetest, most amazing periods of my life.

My little guy nursed until he self-weaned at about 3 1/2 years old. So, yes, I fed him in public lots and lots of times. I never covered up with a blanket or anything, but you certainly couldn't "see anything" when he was latched on. Yes, if you looked, you could tell he was nursing. But, if just the idea of knowing that he was nursing was bothersome to someone, I certainly didn't care. That was their problem, not mine. I fed him all over the place. As several people have mentioned, many states now have laws protecting the rights of nursing mothers to feed their babies anywhere they are legally allowed to be. It is actually against the law to ask them to cover up or move.

And, yes, I nursed mine on the go...including walking around Disney World while he nursed in a sling. That's part of the great appeal of breastfeeding. It's easily available anytime anywhere with no special prep or equipment! It's the original "to go" meal! Like most breastfeeding moms, I got really good at it. I could nurse my son while I was talking on the phone, cleaning the house, eating a meal myself, shopping in the grocery store, typing on the computer, etc. Yeah, there are times when you drop everything and stare down into your baby's eyes while he nurses. Those are precious, sweet memories. But, that isn't always practical...especially if you have a baby who nurses pretty much constantly, like mine did.

For what it's worth, my son was born at 26 weeks. He was one pound and seven ounces at birth and spent 3 months in the NICU before coming home. So, those early months were full of lots of struggles....pumping, trying to teach a tiny weak baby to latch on, trying to keep my supply up, etc. But, it all worked out great in the end. He was totally and exclusively breastfed for the first 8 months of his life, including his time in the NICU, and then continued to nurse well into toddlerhood. So, yeah, I love seeing nursing moms. And, I'm so happy that we've gotten to the point where it's not unusual. Now, if we can just truly get past whatever last hangups exist, then these types of threads won't even be necessary anymore because nobody will think anything about it.

 

[Deb in IA]

I loooove seeing nursing moms out and about. It makes me remember one of the sweetest, most amazing periods of my life.

My little guy nursed until he self-weaned at about 3 1/2 years old. So, yes, I fed him in public lots and lots of times. I never covered up with a blanket or anything, but you certainly couldn't "see anything" when he was latched on. Yes, if you looked, you could tell he was nursing. But, if just the idea of knowing that he was nursing was bothersome to someone, I certainly didn't care. That was their problem, not mine. I fed him all over the place. As several people have mentioned, many states now have laws protecting the rights of nursing mothers to feed their babies anywhere they are legally allowed to be. It is actually against the law to ask them to cover up or move.

And, yes, I nursed mine on the go...including walking around Disney World while he nursed in a sling. That's part of the great appeal of breastfeeding. It's easily available anytime anywhere with no special prep or equipment! It's the original "to go" meal! Like most breastfeeding moms, I got really good at it. I could nurse my son while I was talking on the phone, cleaning the house, eating a meal myself, shopping in the grocery store, typing on the computer, etc. Yeah, there are times when you drop everything and stare down into your baby's eyes while he nurses. Those are precious, sweet memories. But, that isn't always practical...especially if you have a baby who nurses pretty much constantly, like mine did.

For what it's worth, my son was born at 26 weeks. He was one pound and seven ounces at birth and spent 3 months in the NICU before coming home. So, those early months were full of lots of struggles....pumping, trying to teach a tiny weak baby to latch on, trying to keep my supply up, etc. But, it all worked out great in the end. He was totally and exclusively breastfed for the first 8 months of his life, including his time in the NICU, and then continued to nurse well into toddlerhood. So, yeah, I love seeing nursing moms. And, I'm so happy that we've gotten to the point where it's not unusual. Now, if we can just truly get past whatever last hangups exist, then these types of threads won't even be necessary anymore because nobody will think anything about it.

Hi GEM. I remember when Paul was born, and I am so glad to hear he is doing well.

And yes, it will be a wonderful day when all moms nurse, and no one even suggests that it is "gross" or "icky"

 

[ChrizJen]

What work do you have to do? I'm sure that the vast majority of women that choose or have to bottle feed are well aware of their options. It would be nice if both sides left the others alone to do what works for them.

Like I said earlier, militants are annoying.

You sound more militant than any breastfeeding advocate I've ever encountered. And you've obviously misinterpreted the goal of people like the poster you quoted. You see a bf advocate and automatically assume that they're trying to take away your right to bottle feed. If you're reading her post, she clearly states that the work that needs to be done is to make breastfeeding more acceptable. Nothing is said about bottle feeding. She's simply saying that, for the sake of the women who choose to bf, we as a society should be more understanding and accepting. This thread shows that there is still a long way to go to get to the point of acceptance.

One thing I do not like about most breast feeding advocates is that they do not take into consideration that not all women for one reason or another can breastfeed. If I were to have breastfed my son it would have killed him. And no I am not using too strong of a word here I mean literally it would have killed him. He has a metabolic disorder and can not have any milk even human milk. He has to drink either soy or rice milk. I agree breastfeeding for most babies is the way to go but not for all. Big advocates tend to forget and or not realize that not every mom can breastfeed. So next time you see a mom formula feeding think about that before judging her for not breastfeeding. Some breastfeeding advocates think that moms who formula feed are evil and that is not the case.

For example: In New York City hospitals they stopped handing out free samples of formula from the formula companies to promote breastfeeding. Well what about those mothers that have to formula feed. It is not always a choice. Please keep that in mind.

As I said above, breast feeding advocates aren't trying to take away anyone's right to choose. They're simply looking to make our society more accepting and understanding of those who DO choose to breastfeed. And I believe it's been said before, but hospitals that I've heard of who did away with the formula samples only did so on an "automatic" basis. Mothers can still get formula samples from hospitals. They just have to request it. The hospitals are simply no longer giving them to every mother who comes through. Even with that policy, no one is telling any mother how she has to feed her child.

 

[luvmy3]

the NEW norm???
no, breast feeding has been going on for a few years now.
(but what i really hate to see is a fat person eating in public )
LOL
grow up......

I think the bolded part of MizTinks post was overlooked. I don't want to speak for her but I took her post to mean that it as just as childish to say breastfeeding is gross as it is to say something along the lines of what she did.

 

[Tasmen]

A little late to the party, but here goes. I think there is nothing wrong with nursing in public. Would I have done it? No. I'm not completely comfortable with that. However, I have friends that think nothing of whipping it out to feed their baby.

That's my point. Less women would chose to bottle feed if it was a societal norm to breastfeed. And discussions like this just prove that it is not completely acceptable so we still have work to do.

Bottles != evil
Formula != evil
Exposed milk taps for baby != evil

The most important thing is that the baby gets fed. A hungry baby is a hungry baby. Unless you know the particular reason why a mother has a bottle in their baby's mouth, you really can't judge and say they are doing something NOT the norm.

While I agree that there is a lot of miseducation out there about the benefits of breastfeeding, I also think that there are a lot of tata nazis out there that are incredibly quick to pass judgment the MINUTE they see someone using a bottle to feed their child.

What work do you have to do? I'm sure that the vast majority of women that choose or have to bottle feed are well aware of their options. It would be nice if both sides left the others alone to do what works for them.

Like I said earlier, militants are annoying.

Educated women may know they have an option; however, there are a lot of uneducated women out there that trust what folks tell them. I've heard countless stories of women being influenced by nurses in the hospital to formula feed because the baby is having issues latching immediately. Some babies just have a problem and you have to persist. Breastfeeding is hard work.

I'm not saying, however, that formula feeding is evil. I had to do some with my DD. I wasn't about to let her starve. That's something I wish a lot of militants would recognize.

It's important for women to breastfeed in public. Role-modeling for future mothers that this is the way to feed a baby. If we only bottle feed in public, people will think that that is the way to feed a baby.

Once again, who's to say what is in the bottles you see women feeding their babies. I breastfeed my DD for a year. I had to supplement with formula because my supply was not keeping up with her demand. She also would not latch. She had a serious tongue thrust that just made things too difficult. I pumped exclusive for a year (want to talk about a rough path there). That meant 100% of the time, my DD was getting her milk from a bottle.

I've had to deal with people on both sides of the fence on this issue. You can only imagine some of the judgy looks I've received when I've whipped out a bottle to feed DD.

So I say again, withhold judgment unless you know an individual's particular situation.