Breast feeding in public... gross or okay?

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sigh. Ok, since you asked. You picked two words in the entire response to focus on? I have a feeling that nothing I say will be what you want to hear, so seriously, I will walk away. I really don't intend to offend you.

I read the rest of your post. I'm just curious as to why you made the comment that you did.

You feel women shouldn't walk around--why did you mention with their "top down".

Such derogatory marks will be found offensive when folks are challenging where women should and should not breastfeed.

That is all I was getting at. In the end, I'm thankful that I am not forced to a seated position just b/c others prefer it that way.

 

[Planogirl]

That's my point. Less women would chose to bottle feed if it was a societal norm to breastfeed. And discussions like this just prove that it is not completely acceptable so we still have work to do.

What work do you have to do? I'm sure that the vast majority of women that choose or have to bottle feed are well aware of their options. It would be nice if both sides left the others alone to do what works for them.

Like I said earlier, militants are annoying.

 

[Bluestars]

I read the rest of your post. I'm just curious as to why you made the comment that you did.

You feel women shouldn't walk around--why did you mention with their "top down".

Such derogatory marks will be found offensive when folks are challenging where women should and should not breastfeed.

That is all I was getting at. In the end, I'm thankful that I am not forced to a seated position just b/c others prefer it that way.

Lisa, I'm sorry. I think I'm just not expressing my opinion very well here. I certainly didn't mean to say that a woman would just pull her top down while shopping. Again, I'm sorry for offending you. I really do think breast feeding is a wonderful thing to do. I think my problem is that I am not expressing myself very well here, so I seem to keep offending people as I post.

 

[FireDancer]

What work do you have to do? I'm sure that the vast majority of women that choose or have to bottle feed are well aware of their options. It would be nice if both sides left the others alone to do what works for them.

Like I said earlier, militants are annoying.

I'm not sure which gets more heated sometimes, the BF vs bottle debate or the SAHM vs working mom debate. Neither is right and neither is wrong, they are two different options. As long as each person is free to choose what works best for them then it seems like everyone wins.

 

[AshleyW]

I'm not sure which gets more heated sometimes, the BF vs bottle debate or the SAHM vs working mom debate. Neither is right and neither is wrong, they are two different options. As long as each person is free to choose what works best for them then it seems like everyone wins.

I don't think they meant "work" as in a career, I think the PP said they still had "work to do" as in activism work educating women about breastfeeding.

If that's the case.. I'll agree with Planogirl and say that all the women I know are AWARE of their options, they simply make a personal decision - and that's their right. I don't necessarily think it's anyone's place to preach to the other side about whether their decision is right or wrong.

 

[Beca]

As a mom who is currently b'feeding my second child (who is currently still a "newborn" (i.e. nurses constantly...or, at least it seems that way )), I certainly see both sides of the debate here.

I am not someone who, even when I WAS under 100lbs was very comfortable exposing myself in any way. I usually wore a t-shirt over my bathing suit...now after two kids...I wear one for other reasons!!

So, I am not comfortable making others uncomfortable by b'feeding in public. However, I find it VERY difficult to find places to feed my baby where I will not offend others. For example, I took my older dd to the mall for a shopping trip and lunch. We were there for several hours. I was so saddened to see that the mall had taken out its family restrooms and lounge areas. There was really NO place to nurse this baby. Ironically, this mall is in a very affluent area where there are a LOT of SAHM moms who choose to nurse. They ALL seemed to be at the mall, and there were nursing moms everywhere. Seriously, I saw no less than 10 moms nursing on benches in the middle of the mall. We were all pretty much in the same tough spot....tiny babies and nowhere to nurse. I finally found one of those massage chairs that you put money in. It faced the ice skating rink, and there was not anyone around, so I felt comfortable enough to nurse my baby there....with a blanket covering us (my baby actually LIKES being covered....weird kid!!) I do wish public places had more choices for nursing mothers. Most of the time, I just end/ed up taking both my kids to the car to nurse.

Interestingly, I read an article a few years back which quoted a poll about the "grossness" of b'feeding. When the poll respondents were categorized by gender, 99% of those having issues with public b'feeding were women. The men didn't seem to care or notice. It does seem like women are more judgemental of other women, when we should be the ones who are more supportive of each other's choices.

And, I really do wish there were more places to b'feed in public without offending anyone. I'm not trying to be offensive....I'm just trying feed my child.

 

[disfan07]

Breastfeeding in public does not bother me. I've only ever seen a handful of women in public breastfeeding wihtout covering up.

Personally, I will never have this problem because I will not be able to breastfeed when I have kids.

 

[FireDancer]

I don't think they meant "work" as in a career, I think the PP said they still had "work to do" as in activism work educating women about breastfeeding.

No, I was referring to something completely different. On other threads I have seen the SAHM vs. working mom debate get heated as though they are trying to justify their own decision. I was referring to that debate against this one and the "my way is the right way" vibe people put out sometimes.

I agree, however, that everyone knows that some babies are bottle fed and some are BF. If you don't perhaps it is time to crawl out from under the rock and get on the Interwebs. There is a lot of information out there and in the computer age the only excuse for not finding it lack of looking.

 

[Halbleib1]

One more thing, the models on tv and in ads probably show more skin than a mother who is breastfeeding. Heck, some of the outfits you see teens wear these days show more.

That is not always true. Last Sept. at Typhoon Lagoon there was a women completely topless sitting on a lounge chair out in open feeding her child. I say child because this was not a baby. Heck she was almost naked as she only had brief bikini bottoms left on. I felt completely uncomfortable walking by this lady with my husband and father beside me. Couldn't avoid it though as our stuff was sitting near by and we were moving on. I have no problem with breastfeeding in public just please have some respect for others around you. There is no need to completely expose yourself while breastfeeding. Agreed you should not have to cover a child's head to breastfeed but you should cover yourself as best as you can.

 

[Halbleib1]

It's important for women to breastfeed in public. Role-modeling for future mothers that this is the way to feed a baby. If we only bottle feed in public, people will think that that is the way to feed a baby.

One thing I do not like about most breast feeding advocates is that they do not take into consideration that not all women for one reason or another can breastfeed. If I were to have breastfed my son it would have killed him. And no I am not using too strong of a word here I mean literally it would have killed him. He has a metabolic disorder and can not have any milk even human milk. He has to drink either soy or rice milk. I agree breastfeeding for most babies is the way to go but not for all. Big advocates tend to forget and or not realize that not every mom can breastfeed. So next time you see a mom formula feeding think about that before judging her for not breastfeeding. Some breastfeeding advocates think that moms who formula feed are evil and that is not the case.

For example: In New York City hospitals they stopped handing out free samples of formula from the formula companies to promote breastfeeding. Well what about those mothers that have to formula feed. It is not always a choice. Please keep that in mind.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have never seen such a thing in my life. The only place I have ever even heard people talk about a woman letting her breasts hang out while nursing is on the disboards.

I have known many people who are extreme proponents of breastfeeding and was even a member of a holisitc moms group and have never seen someone breastfeed "indiscretely"

I will preface my remarks by saying that I am a nurse so there is not much about the human body that shocks me in terms of seeing body parts. I just generally see them in the privacy of someone's hospital room and not in the checkout line at the mall.

I will introduce you to my crazy SIL. She breastfed her children by removing her breast entirely from it's nursing bra cup, holding it in her hand with the entire breast completely exposed to "adjust" it (I never understood what there was to "adjust"...it only hangs one way. It's not like it has a twist off cap or something!) and then would make a big production out of saying "Oh, Baby is hungry today, he's really latching on, what a good suckler Baby is" (OK, thanks for the play-by-play Howard Cosell!). She would switch sides by leaving the 1st breast hanging out of her shirt and doing the same "maneuvers" with the second breast...out completely, "adjust", play-by-play, with the first breast still hanging out completely. She could clear a room faster than lightning...the moment she started to unbutton her shirt....VROOM! everyone was gone.

The other indiscreet BF'er I saw was the lady whose 5 year old came up to her at a New Year's Eve party, unbuttoned her blouse and started to BF. Now mind you, all the men in the room went RUNNING to the bar (which was, thankfully, in a different room). She was another one with the breast hanging out thing. I don't think there's anything worse than seeing a breast entirely hanging out with a 5 year old attached to it. I am also not sure of the wisdom of having a much older child (like a 4 year old or older) BF....I think there could be some developmentally "confusing" issues there. It's been a long time since I took child development though.

All that being said, the majority of people I know BF just fine and perfectly normally and discreetly. But it's always the odd ones that you remember.

 

[Disney Doll]

It's important for women to breastfeed in public. Role-modeling for future mothers that this is the way to feed a baby. If we only bottle feed in public, people will think that that is the way to feed a baby.

I think either way is a fine way to feed a baby. There are many of us who were bottle fed and turned out just fine, just as there are many of us who were breast fed and turned out just fine.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think it is perfectly natural and i love to see how many more woman are breast feeding now a days! Also, how many woman do you see walking around all hooched out and just to be sexxy with there pants too tight and their ****s popping out all over the place? But that is perfectly ok anymore?

Truthfully I don't find that look attractive or appealing either. I think they look trashy.

 

[Disney Doll]

Lisa, I'm sorry. I think I'm just not expressing my opinion very well here. I certainly didn't mean to say that a woman would just pull her top down while shopping. Again, I'm sorry for offending you. I really do think breast feeding is a wonderful thing to do. I think my problem is that I am not expressing myself very well here, so I seem to keep offending people as I post.

Only because people are looking to be offended.

 

[Disney Doll]

Personally, I will never have this problem because I will not be able to breastfeed when I have kids.

Shhhh....don't tell ontariomonkey.....

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

We have a gal who bfs in the front row of the church. It surprised me the first time, but now it doesn't bother me. I think that it is just feeding a baby.

 

[inkedupmomma]

Truthfully I don't find that look attractive or appealing either. I think they look trashy.

agreed 100%, that was my point. But people don't have too much to say about things like that. Women can have half nude photos of themselves all over facebook and myspace and that's ok, but the minute a woman puts up a pic up of her nursing a child it is taken down..how does that work?

 

[tomthebarncat]

breast feeding is perfectly acceptable and no one has a problem with it.

 

[inkedupmomma]

breast feeding is perfectly acceptable and no one has a problem with it.

that is absolutely 100% true! and fabulous!

 

[Disney Doll]

agreed 100%, that was my point. But people don't have too much to say about things like that. Women can have half nude photos of themselves all over facebook and myspace and that's ok, but the minute a woman puts up a pic up of her nursing a child it is taken down..how does that work?

My guess is that if you were to start a thread on the DIS about what people think about women (or men for that matter) who dress in a revealing manner, people would have plenty to say!

As far as Facebook...I have no idea why some of the stuff that is on Facebook is allowed to be on there. Of course, I also have no idea why someone would want to post a half-nude photo of themselves or a photo of themselves nursing their child, on a public Internet website anyhow, so what do I know?