Breaking UP a LTR ** UPDATE Pg3 #43 (REALLY!!)

[Heidict]

It had nothing to do with defending him (up until that post that makes me understand his probably reasons) it had to do with looking at the situation rationally which I saw a lack of in this thread.

Yes, you are making excuse for him. Trying to figure out various reason as to why he did that and why it would be acceptable to do that.

Also, what irrational posts are you speaking of? Everyone on here has told her that it sucks, that how he did it was wrong. That she needs to get her stuff, move on with her life and consider herself lucky to be free of someone who obviously has no tack, concern or an ounce of compassion.

How is that irrational?

The same could be said about judging a person based on another person's description of a single action in life which there was a whole lot of on this thread up until now.

That happens all the time so don't act surprised or offended that it is happening here. We all do it in our everyday lives.

 

[FireDancer]

There was nothing benign (as usual) about your post. It was accusatory, unhelpful and down right mean.

I would be interested in hearing the other two sides of the story. It is easy to judge when we are only hearing one side of the story which will always be somewhat different then the unbiased truth (the 3rd side of every story).

No offense OP but on every thread like this I wonder what is being left out because something always is. I know if I read a thread like this posted by my mom in regards to my parents divorce it would not be the whole story so it is nothing personal against you OP.

followed by:

I was speaking more of the totality of the 3 years, not the other side of this single event. What led up to making the decision, not how the results of the decision played out. That is something we just don't know without the other side of the story. It just is what it is.

Seems pretty benign to me. Just a matter of fact question that seems a pretty logical thought in such a situation. I always wonder what the other side of just about every story is, even if I am involved in them personally. A person has to know that human nature dictates that any time we relay "our side" of any situation it will be biased towards us. That was the whole gist of the post that elicited such an over-the-top response.

Also, fearing the reaction of a person in the moment (maybe not physically even, just overly emotional and dramatic) is very different then fearing for your safety generally.

While I couldn't imagine breaking up with someone over the phone I would never say never. I could imagine situations where that could happen. There are very few absolutes in life.

 

[Heidict]

I

Again, I agree. There have been at least 15 posts from this "new" person on an internet BB since the event happened yesterday morning and I suspect there will probably be many more. All talking about what a bad guy this guy is and how the new woman or women will be skanks, etc, etc, etc.

Where did she say he was a bad guy? She said over and over and over again that he was a sweet guy. That he treated her good. Said that his choice in calling her at WORK to break up was mean, immature, spineless and pathetic, but never that he was a bad guyl.

And what are you talking about with the whole "new woman and women are all skanks"? Quote the post please because I must have missed it.

And all because he broke up with her over the phone. Not because he was a jerk or a mean guy or slept around, but because he did it over the phone. To which I have to give him credit: at least he did it BEFORE he started dating someone else.

That we know of. Heck, I'm sure if she came on and said that she found out he was cheating on her that there would have been posts form some people saying it was all her fault that he was cheating.

 

[MICKEY88]

Also, fearing the reaction of a person in the moment (maybe not physically even, just overly emotional and dramatic) is very different then fearing for your safety generally.

If a 51 year old guy is afraid of a womans emotions, no matter how strong, he should stay home with his mommy instead of dating

 

[Carly_Roach]

If a 51 year old guy is afraid of a womans emotions, no matter how strong, he should stay home with his mommy instead of dating

I believe that's what he chose.

Now let's continue obsessing over the delivery of the message from a guy that the OP has since admitted she wasn't all that into.

 

[Jennasis]

Wow. The DIS never disappoints. So predictable, right down to the folks involved (and I include myself in that).

 

[Heidict]

I believe that's what he chose.

Now let's continue obsessing over the delivery of the message from a guy that the OP has since admitted she wasn't all that into.

Okay!

I think he is a spineless, toothless, ball-less excuse for a man that slithered his way over to the phone and used his pointy tail to call the OP at work and broke up with her. It disgusts me and If I knew who he was or where he lived I would go over and key his car right now.

How's that?

 

[Heidict]

Wow. The DIS never disappoints. So predictable, right down to the folks involved (and I include myself in that).

I was thinking the same thing! (myself included)

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

F


However I get the feeling you guys are abit more physical, I believe in compassion and non-violence.
PHONE-WORK-TEARS

Any compassion I may have had to your story just went out the window with this comment. Just because I may believe there is another side to this story does not make me an abusive person who gets physical with those I love.

Personally I now think Eddie is much better off without you in his life. I'm glad he got out when he did.

 

[MICKEY88]

Now let's continue obsessing over the delivery of the message from a guy that the OP has since admitted she wasn't all that into.

the OP can correct me if I am wrong, but I don't recall her admitting such a thing, I believe what she stated was that she loved the man, but apparently is mourning the loss of the man she thought he was,{sweet, kind etc} not the man that he apparently is now,

 

[ajk912]

Don't worry he is in MA - you are safe.

FireDancer - here is the other side of the story. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, since I make way more money I even took him on 3 trips to Bermuda and the Bahamas. I took days off from work so I wouldn't inconvenience him. He lives 90 minutes from me, in the 3 years we were together he came to my home 10 times - really 10 times.

He was wonderful, sweet and did lots for me. He would walk blocks to get my car when it snowed, he would warm it up. He would get out of bed and drive me to my car every time I stayed at his place.

We both did nice things for each other, gladly. No dark secrets, no abuse, no cheating, so if you are thinking that no. Just a normal or so I thought relationship.

the week's preceding events - My DS & his DW came up to his area. We went to dinner, went dancing then karaoke. The bext day we all toured around his hometown which is famous for being gothic. We took a harbor cruise. My DS & his DW went home. My xBF & I went back to his place relaxed and I cooked dinner.

We both worked Monday, I went back to his place Tuesday. We went to the movies had dinner at the food court. Wednesday we drove his car to the mechanic, picked up his Mom and went to lunch in Essex. When she was away from the table he said what I relayed about a diamond.

We dropped her off - picked his car and went to his place. We chilled at the pool. I cooked dinner, filets, rice & corn on the cob. We watched TV and went to bed. I woke up at 530 went to work.

He then called me at 8 on his way to work and dumped me by phone, at work, no warning - I mean no warning. The night before well - none of your business.

So that is the sisnister secret I withheld - the other side. So sometimes when you hear hooves it is horses not zebras. Sometimes things are as stated, sometimes you get blindsided. I love him, still do that is what hurts.

Make no bones I may seem light here but I am not. I sit at work and have to leave to cry several times already.

So if you are looking for a sinister other side buried within like I beat him or kicked his cat - not this thread.

I was dumped on the phone at work by a man who I love after 3 years who changed his mind somewhere, somehow, sometime between laying in bed with me and leaving for work.

THE END

What does DW stand for? I have only seen it as D(ear)Wife or D(...)Wife, always wife. This response takes a whole new meaning if the guy has a wife. Hopefully not!

Still thinking of you, OP, let us know what he says tomorrow when he pays you!

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I think she was talking about the DS's DW, not the boyfriend's DW

 

[Jennasis]

What does DW stand for? I have only seen it as D(ear)Wife or D(...)Wife, always wife. This response takes a whole new meaning if the guy has a wife. Hopefully not!

Still thinking of you, OP, let us know what he says tomorrow when he pays you!

It was the OP's son's wife.

 

[happyhaunts]

You attack me, belittle me, accuse me and think I owe you anything - Get a grip. I don't need or want your idea of compassion because it comes with conditions and only ifs - so keep it I will live to go on without it.


I will say it one more time _ EDDIE IS/.WAS SWEET/COMPASSIONATE/KIND
He did a crappy cold thing.

Oh and hecalled me twice so far wanting to maybe talk - so I guess he is shaking in his boots since i am soooo scary.


And Carly when did I say I was't into him - please tell me really. I was with him for 3 years, it was good, maybe I should have jumped him at yelled of course I will marry you but then I would be posting how he was only joking or feeling me out.

Last time - now pay attention Frank/Sparow/Carly - you can repeat after me -
Eddie was sweet/kind/man who did a bad bad thing to me. It hurt me greatly, it was at work so even if it wasn't on the phone was 6 hours so much to wait I would have been 90 minutes away instead 30. I have a set of keys to his house so he is not afraid. He is not horrid or despicable, I will alwayshold some love for him.

I will get over it in time, not today or tomorrow but at some point I will wake up and just like my divorce it will not be the first thing on my mind.


Now I have been up and at work for 16 hours and get to go home.

 

[happyhaunts]

ajk LOL

The DW was my son's DW, him and her were with us last weekend. DS - dear son & his DW


If Eddie had one he must have hid her really well. No he doesn't just a broken hearted xDGF

 

[chexie]

just ignore the hate OP, focus on healing yourself and moving on with your life. the more you dwell on the negativity that some post on these boards will only continue to drag you down. Be happy OP you deserve that and a better man

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Saying there might be another side to the story doesn't equal an attack.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

Good luck to you, HappyHaunts. The vast majority of us "get it". I know you're hurting now and I hope you soon are able to get back to normal and can forget about Eddie being such a creep by breaking up with you over the phone at work. No doubt there is a great guy out there who is perfect for you. I found the man of my dreams shortly after a bitter divorce. I say the best way to get over a lousy boyfriend/ husband is to get out and start dating again. Even if you're dating a guy who isn't someone you would want to marry, he will help you forget the loser boyfriend you just got rid of. Have fun and enjoy life!

 

[Jennasis]

Saying there might be another side to the story doesn't equal an attack.

I'll say it. There is no other side. Even if she was a screaming loon whom he feared for her screaming tirades, he could've waited till she was home. Not at work. He took the chicken exit on this one and for that alone he is a massive tool and deserves our derision. I have no idea what was behind the break-up, nor do I care. His handling of it makes him a world class donkey's butt.

Phooey on him.

P.S. His subsequent e-mails do not indicate his fear of any outburst from her, hence the "we'll always be friends" and "you can always talk to me" crud.

 

[happyhaunts]

Thank you guys - I love that the majority get as for the rest - you could put itin big bold lettering and they still don't get it.

I am on my way home 16.5 hours of work is over - WOOHOO!!!!!