Breaking UP a LTR ** UPDATE Pg3 #43 (REALLY!!)

[beattyfamily]

Yep I did get the tickets. I actually had one of the guys I work with swing buy his house and pick them up. Thanks for asking.


I had to work the overnight so I spent my down time writing him a letter just trying to get out all my feelings. I will probably never mail it but it felt good.

Whew! I'm glad to hear it! Good for you. I hope you go and have a blast and forget your troubles for a bit anyway.

I think that's a great thing to do and I've done it many times. I've written something with the thought I 'might' send it but then I don't because just the act of writing down all my feelings and thoughts down helped so much, I no longer needed to send it. BUT there's nothing wrong with giving it to him either if you decide you want him to know how what he did made you feel.

Take care.

 

[N&B'smom]

He did you a favor, a little late but at least now you can move on to someone you actually have a future with, you know? Crappy way to handle things! You sound like you're in a good place, OP!

 

[happyhaunts]

I talked to the guys I work with they even can't figure him out.

This was his email to me this morning. Oh he owes my for something I ordered online.

Morning XXXX,

That's fine i will pay you for the tape on Saturday I'm sorry i hurt your feelings we will always be friends and you can talk to me anytime you know that * Eddie

Are you that stupid?!?!?! You nroke up with me at work on the phone after we spent 2 days together!!!!! Friends you are lucky I am not homicidal!!!!!!!!

Okay I agree I am well rid of him and I am now convinced he has someone else.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I talked to the guys I work with they even can't figure him out.

This was his email to me this morning. Oh he owes my for something I ordered online.

Morning XXXX,

That's fine i will pay you for the tape on Saturday I'm sorry i hurt your feelings we will always be friends and you can talk to me anytime you know that * Eddie

Are you that stupid?!?!?! You nroke up with me at work on the phone after we spent 2 days together!!!!! Friends you are lucky I am not homicidal!!!!!!!!

Okay I agree I am well rid of him and I am now convinced he has someone else.

Yea, does not sound good. I guess you have to decide how much you want to mourn over the break up. I guess I would not give him the satisfaction of doing that.

Make a date and go out with someone.

 

[Jennasis]

I talked to the guys I work with they even can't figure him out.

This was his email to me this morning. Oh he owes my for something I ordered online.

Morning XXXX,

That's fine i will pay you for the tape on Saturday I'm sorry i hurt your feelings we will always be friends and you can talk to me anytime you know that * Eddie

Are you that stupid?!?!?! You nroke up with me at work on the phone after we spent 2 days together!!!!! Friends you are lucky I am not homicidal!!!!!!!!

Okay I agree I am well rid of him and I am now convinced he has someone else.

I know it makes me petty, but I would respond with:

"I'm sorry you think we will always be friends....because we will not. I am not your friend and you are not mine. I hope you catch crabs from the new skank (because I'm pretty sure there is one). Have a nice life ************."




But that's just me. I'm mean like that. Actually, maybe you should write him a letter like that. Get it all out there. Then burn it. It's quite cathartic!

 

[Rora]

He did you a favor, a little late but at least now you can move on to someone you actually have a future with, you know? Crappy way to handle things! You sound like you're in a good place, OP!

This.

I'm so so sorry OP. This always hurts. It sucks to feel like someone's lied to you and betrayed you. But, the quoted post is right-- he did you a favor. You definitely deserve better!! Better to deal with heartbreak now then realize 15 years into marriage or when you wake up next to a man who isn't who you thought he was!

I hope you heal soon.

 

[happyhaunts]

Jennasis!!!

My response was - speechless I am speechless. That is exactly how I typed it.

I am more mourning the idea of him I guess, not what I am now seeing. I don't know this man I knew the kind, sweet, thoughtful, the walk 3 blocks to warm up my car in a blizzard guy - this man I don't know.

 

[happyhaunts]

Jennasis!!!

My response was - speechless I am speechless. That is exactly how I typed it.

Oh and then I blocked his emails, and deleted him from my phone and took all his friends of my facebook.

I am more mourning the idea of him I guess, not what I am now seeing. I don't know this man I knew the kind, sweet, thoughtful, the walk 3 blocks to warm up my car in a blizzard guy - this man I don't know.

 

[Jennasis]

Jennasis!!!

My response was - speechless I am speechless. That is exactly how I typed it.

I am more mourning the idea of him I guess, not what I am now seeing. I don't know this man I knew the kind, sweet, thoughtful, the walk 3 blocks to warm up my car in a blizzard guy - this man I don't know.

Ahh...great minds!

 

[threecrazykids]

Keep your head up, he really is doing you a favor. And I would agree that he more than likely has found someone else.

You should count your blessings that he showed his true colors NOW and not 10 years down the road when you're married with kids (if that was even discussed).

Although it hurts today...it will get better. You are worth so much more than this. I always try to think of what my grandmother said..."try to look at things like it was your best friend in the situation...what would you give her as advise?" Then follow it.

This also coming from the woman who told me "the only way to get over one man is to get under another."

 

[happyhaunts]

OMG KIDS!!! Thankfully we are passed that stage.

I am 47 he is 51 - yeah he is 51 - a grown man who acts like this.

I have to tell you guys are making me feel like I can hold it together until the devastation breaks.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I have to tell you guys are making me feel like I can hold it together until the devastation breaks.

Do you think you will be 'over' him in, say, a year?

If the answer is yes, then I say just skip the 'staying home and eating ice cream and oreos on the couch in my sweats for months' stage...go put on a hot outfit, get your bff, and shake your booty at the concert...you just might find Mr Right there! Just decide that you're going to be ok NOW, and not wait the year.

{{{{hugs}}}}

 

[Ilivetogo]

OMG KIDS!!! Thankfully we are passed that stage.

I am 47 he is 51 - yeah he is 51 - a grown man who acts like this.

I have to tell you guys are making me feel like I can hold it together until the devastation breaks.

What area do you live in? (I don't want to end up "finding" him in my man-search!! (He's in my age range of searching.)​

.

 

[FireDancer]

I would be interested in hearing the other two sides of the story. It is easy to judge when we are only hearing one side of the story which will always be somewhat different then the unbiased truth (the 3rd side of every story).

No offense OP but on every thread like this I wonder what is being left out because something always is. I know if I read a thread like this posted by my mom in regards to my parents divorce it would not be the whole story so it is nothing personal against you OP.

 

[happyhaunts]

Don't worry he is in MA - you are safe.

FireDancer - here is the other side of the story. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, since I make way more money I even took him on 3 trips to Bermuda and the Bahamas. I took days off from work so I wouldn't inconvenience him. He lives 90 minutes from me, in the 3 years we were together he came to my home 10 times - really 10 times.

He was wonderful, sweet and did lots for me. He would walk blocks to get my car when it snowed, he would warm it up. He would get out of bed and drive me to my car every time I stayed at his place.

We both did nice things for each other, gladly. No dark secrets, no abuse, no cheating, so if you are thinking that no. Just a normal or so I thought relationship.

the week's preceding events - My DS & his DW came up to his area. We went to dinner, went dancing then karaoke. The bext day we all toured around his hometown which is famous for being gothic. We took a harbor cruise. My DS & his DW went home. My xBF & I went back to his place relaxed and I cooked dinner.

We both worked Monday, I went back to his place Tuesday. We went to the movies had dinner at the food court. Wednesday we drove his car to the mechanic, picked up his Mom and went to lunch in Essex. When she was away from the table he said what I relayed about a diamond.

We dropped her off - picked his car and went to his place. We chilled at the pool. I cooked dinner, filets, rice & corn on the cob. We watched TV and went to bed. I woke up at 530 went to work.

He then called me at 8 on his way to work and dumped me by phone, at work, no warning - I mean no warning. The night before well - none of your business.

So that is the sisnister secret I withheld - the other side. So sometimes when you hear hooves it is horses not zebras. Sometimes things are as stated, sometimes you get blindsided. I love him, still do that is what hurts.

Make no bones I may seem light here but I am not. I sit at work and have to leave to cry several times already.

So if you are looking for a sinister other side buried within like I beat him or kicked his cat - not this thread.

I was dumped on the phone at work by a man who I love after 3 years who changed his mind somewhere, somehow, sometime between laying in bed with me and leaving for work.

THE END

 

[happyhaunts]

Oh and this is less about what he did - people break up. I am divorced so BTDT. I am a big girl, you don't want to be with me I can move on, I can even be friends, I am with my DxH.

But he did it - ON THE PHONE - AT WORK !!!! He left me sitting in front of my coworkers tears streaming down my face, heartbroken and numb!!!!!

I couldn't go home, we have minimum manning, I couldn't hide, I had to sit there and choke back tears while I talked to the general public and my fellow workers.

 

[daisy2]

I am so sorry happyhaunts what he did you was wrong. Hopefully Karma will bite him in the tooshie!! Sorry can't say the other one!

 

[cm8]

Do you think you will be 'over' him in, say, a year?

If the answer is yes, then I say just skip the 'staying home and eating ice cream and oreos on the couch in my sweats for months' stage...go put on a hot outfit, get your bff, and shake your booty at the concert...you just might find Mr Right there! Just decide that you're going to be ok NOW, and not wait the year.

{{{{hugs}}}}

, Op, I really wish for your heart to be healed and friends to share your heartache. Let him go, and move forward with the gift of knowing that you will love again and someone will be there to help you pick up the pieces that he left behind.

 

[FireDancer]

Don't worry he is in MA - you are safe.

FireDancer - here is the other side of the story...

snip

...THE END

I was speaking more of the totality of the 3 years, not the other side of this single event. What led up to making the decision, not how the results of the decision played out. That is something we just don't know without the other side of the story. It just is what it is.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, firedancer, we are speaking of this event.

If this "man" (and I use the term loosely) had been thinking about this for a period of time and came to the conclusion that he no longer wanted to be with the OP after 3 years of a relationship, he should have had the decency to break up with her like an adult...face to face, in private. Not like a damn high school kid breaking up over the phone because he doesn't have the...nerve (and I SO want to insert another not-DIS-friendly word here...you have no idea!)...to face her. Yes, he owed her that because that's what DECENT PEOPLE do.

It's chicken---- behavior...not the fact that he wanted to break up...relationships do run their course and, as the OP said, she's a big girl, life goes on. But after 3 years of sharing your life with someone you deserve better than "Hi I know you're at work but I'm breaking up with you and we'll always be friends".

OP, good riddance to bad rubbish. He was not the man you thought. I am sorry he disappointed you.

51 years old he is????...more like 15 years old...