Thanks...yes thats what we usually do when she calls for money for DSSs baseball equipment or things like that we always offer to split it 50/50
But its also calls like "he needs new clothes", which DH always caves to, IMO clothes and thelike should be part of the child support she gets.
We are seriously considering taking it all back to court once DH gets home from deployment.
The only thing we are weary about that our lawyer caution is about is, if she can prove that she cannot afford to pay for half his tickets we might be ordered to pay for all of them plus then some. It doesnt sound like she cant afford it but I dont know how much proof the court actually needs furnished.
Last time when the last order was established all she filled out was a work sheet of expenses plus her additional expenses (having more than 2 additional children is considered hardship in their state therefor subject to increasing my DHs child support even though he has nothing to do with her other children). Nothing on this worksheet was ever followed up on, such as the riding lessons for DSS (that do not exist) or the car payment (her car is paid off)
Yeah he needs new clothes randomly isn't your problem, that's what child support is for.
As for the court thing - you need a better/more aggressive atty. If she's liable to do that, fill out the sheet with stuff you know to be untrue, then your atty should be filing counter motions, objecting, requiring her to prove it because you know it to not be true.
You tell them in advance she's done this before and you want them to do whatever is done in your state to force a forensic accounting - where a third party will look into both sets of financial claims or where both parties will have to prove their financial claims to the court.
Yes, you may, if she can prove she can't afford it, be forced to pay for the whole ticket (though it sounds unlikely she could). However, if that's the case, you can get other things added in - like that she must drive him to the larger airport, that a date must be agreed to X weeks in advance and there will be a penalty for changing it, etc.
It's like any contractual agreement, can be simple, can be complex, totally depends on how it's written and what the parties want in it.
I'd start preparing for this now. Write down every instance of extra money you send her or have sent her - like note the check number, date, reason, etc. She may claim this is proof that she needs more support; make her prove it based on her income. That she wastes money isn't the court's problem either, if she makes enough, she should have it.
Write down every instance of her refusing to pay for half the ticket, this is a violation of the agreement in place. Write down when you've paid for her (you never know, court could grant that $ back to you), etc.
Then get an experienced lawyer who will fight this out. It may cost a bit more for the lawyer at the time but will save you in the long run, especially if you're due the reduction in general support you suspect you are.