Birthday party vent!! small update post 78

[happygirl]

My daughter is having her 6th birthday party at a local place. I sent out invites to the whole class, asking for people to RSVP by today and no one has RSVP I don't know if I should cancel the party or just go ahead and have it and no one shows up. I think that would be very embrassing for my daughter any words of wisdom. Thanks

 

[merekc]

Personally, I would try to call as many parents as you have numbers for and let them know you are working on a head count.

We are lucky, our school sends out a directory of kids and 95% OK including their info.

 

[eeyorefan74]

I would call or email everyone you invited. I'm sure some are planning to come, but unfortunately very few people RSVP anymore. I'm not even sure they know what it means. It's incredibly frustrating, but I have to admit sometimes I put it off until the last minute, too. Good luck!

 

[happygirl]

I sadly don't have anyone numbers.

I just noticed I put this on the budget board. I guess if I cancel the party it will help the budget LOL

 

[WDWHo]

I have had this happen to my 8 yo son this year actually. I invited 30 kids. NO ONE could make it. No I take it back, one kid could make it. Even my best girlfriends couldnt come with their kids. Turns out 4 other parties and a soccer thing was going on during the same time. Call and do a headcount. See if you see a theme as to who and why they cant come. Then if your headcount is low reschedule. When I rescheduled 28 kids came to my sons party! It would be horrible for her to have a party with no one there. Good luck. I feel your pain! Keep us posted!

 

[melafive]

I usually RSVP but just this last month it totally slipped my mind. I know a lot of people don't. I am sure some will show up. Maybe if you know some of the parents try the phone book???? Or maybe ask the teacher if she has a list you can use? You could also send out a reminder flier? Good luck whatever you do.

 

[samshane]

I have learned over the years with 3 kids that people are so bad about RSVPing... I hate it. One year we invited 25 kids and only 3 showed up, but we had a great time anyway! Most other years, people just don't RSVP. My sons birthday in August, we met the minimum for the party when I counted up the RSVPs (8 kids total), the day of the party 5 additional kids showed up. Now, I know they were invited, but we had to plan goodie bags and other costs.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. We always RSVP by the deadline (one time I forgot and was completely apologetic). I wish I had some advice for you - but since you don't have anyone's phone or e-mail, I am not sure what to do... do you ever see any of the parents in person at the school or in other places? If you do, you could always mention it...

 

[mousebymarriage]

I understand your frustration because unfortunately the no RSVP thing has become a "trend". Please understand that it has absolutely nothing to do with your daughter, sometimes people are just inconsiderate.

This same thing has become a problem in my sons class (3rd grade). When my DD13 was little we (as well as most other parents in the class) invited the entire class to birthday parties, usually around 25 kids. We would get a good number of RSVP's and would have a few just show up on party day, most parties had 95% of the class attend including a sibling here or there.

Now my sons class is a different story. There are 28 kids in his class and for the past 2 years there has been the same 8 or 9 kids (sometimes only 6) that go to every party, regardless of the who the birthday child is. No one else RSVP's and no one else shows up! Most of the parents have stopped doing parties because the birthday child always winds up a little disappointed and most party places around here require 12 or more kids (if you have less you still have to pay for 12).

When my son was in first grade there was a little boy that had a party the Saturday after Thanksgiving, my son was the only one who showed up from the class. I felt so bad for the little boy, he had a few of his cousins there but that was it. He was so happy that my son came, he said my son was his best friend. The last party that anyone in his class had (there was only 1 other last year) was this past June it was a little girl and she had a roller skating party. My son and 3 other kids showed up, I know the mom still had to pay for 12 kids. The mom was so appreciative that the 4 kids came. My son really can't skate well and spends most of his time on his butt so I gave him the option of going to the party, he said "mom, if I don't go Amanda will be sad".

We didn't even do a school birthday party for my son this year, his b-day is in June. We "celebrated" it a couple of weeks later by going to a water park.

 

[wendypooh]

I agree - people are HORRIBLE about rsvp'ing. The last 2 years in a row I literally probably had 2 people rsvp and EVERYONE showed both times.
I'd just go ahead with the party - as I suspect - like everyone has said, it's just that no one rsvp's anymore!!

Good Luck and Happy Birthday to your DD!!

 

[MPLsDad]

This is precisely why my kids don't have acquaintance birthday parties. Cousins and family only - and our close friends who happen to live next door!

 

[DLW8]

I sadly don't have anyone numbers.

I just noticed I put this on the budget board. I guess if I cancel the party it will help the budget LOL

I would try to find the phone numbers, either online or with the old fashioned phone book.

I agree that people are horrible about RSVPing these days, but instead of just waiting to see what happens, I'd be proactive and start calling.

 

[tchrchgo]

I have vented about this on this board many times!

What I do is corner people at the school doors, at day care, at the park, and ask if they are coming. Or I ask around for people's emails. I would also check 411 online to see if people are listed in the phone book. Perhaps ask the PTA prez for a list of parent emails.

Once you have people's emails, I like using evite as it allows people to just click a button to rsvp. I never have time during the day to call people, but at 10pm when everything dies down around here I can get on the computer and email.

After playing the birthday party rsvp game for 3 yrs, for my sons' 7th birthday I just invited their immediate friends and we went to red robin for dinner. the kids sat and ate and laughed and had a great time for a minimal price (they have great kids' meals at red robin!)

 

[melancholywings]

If it was me I'd cancel and then spoil her rotten at like build-a-bear.
We did a party at the museum for her 6th birthday party, 4 kids RSVPed out of 30 and all of them were 15 minutes late. It was a horrible feeling thinking that no one was going to show up. She was in tears asking where her friends were. We then went to a party later in the year for a school friend and my daughter was the only one who showed up. They had a ton of family so it worked out. I'm never throwing another large kiddie birthday party again. This year DD gets to invite one or two kids over for a sleep over - which we may rent a hotel suite for that way they can go in the hotel pool.

 

[mommyoftwinfants]

I had the opposite thing happen, every kid RSVP'd but no one showed up, luckily for me my sister is the one that owns the bounce houses and party rentals so I didn't have to pay for that but the clown was the killer, I had to pay for travel and everything........ it was at our local park and there were lots of kids playing so I went over and invited them over and all of the kids had so much fun. Would other kids be there no involved in a party maybe you could invite their family over to have some cake and goodies.

 

[weewuvvdisney]

If I was in your situation and didn't have the phone numbers to call, I would just cancel it. Or not say a word and not be there (ooopsss nasty of me).

I really don't know what I would do in your situation. What is the cost of the party - if no one shows up and you are stuck with the bill?????

Perhaps you could just send a "cancellation note cuz no one RSVP'd" to the families and like someone else suggested, have a fun day with your daughter allowing her to do the things that she normally doesn't get to do.

Tough decision..... I'm so glad that the kids around our area do not do "classroom" parties. They just have family and close friends.

Good luck!

 

[princessmom29]

I invited DD class to her party last month. 2 parents called. 12 of the 15 kids showed for the party. No one seems to call anymore.

 

[Avonlady1001]

If I was in your situation and didn't have the phone numbers to call, I would just cancel it. Or not say a word and not be there (ooopsss nasty of me).


Good luck!

That was my first thought too! Guess I'm nasty as well.

 

[WDWorBUST]

After going through this exact scenario last year I did not do a party for my DD this year. She really wanted a party, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So instead we took her to the bowling alley with her closest friend and they bowled and rode the indoor go-karts and then we went to dinner. I spend a ridiculous amount of money for one afternoon, but it was still less than a party and the girls had a fantastic time!

If you have time I would probably send a cancellation note and do something special as a family or with one or two close friends.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

If I was in your situation and didn't have the phone numbers to call, I would just cancel it. Or not say a word and not be there (ooopsss nasty of me).

I really don't know what I would do in your situation. What is the cost of the party - if no one shows up and you are stuck with the bill?????

Perhaps you could just send a "cancellation note cuz no one RSVP'd" to the families and like someone else suggested, have a fun day with your daughter allowing her to do the things that she normally doesn't get to do.

Tough decision..... I'm so glad that the kids around our area do not do "classroom" parties. They just have family and close friends.

Good luck!

I guess I'm mean, too, but I would cancel as well. This has happened with my DD twice where no one showed up. Fortunately we have a large family, but it was still noticeable and her feelings were hurt. As other posters have said, never again. Now we just do special activities with the birthday child.

 

[minnie mouse]

I don't do big party for my two girls any more because of this reason. They both still have parties but with a few good friends and this way I can give a nicer party because there are only 4 or 5 girls. Last party we went to dinner, a movie and after the movie we went to Barnes and Noble and each girl got a book of her choice and a book mark. Let me tell you the girls loved it and it was very special to my daughter because it was just her best friends with her.