Birthday Party - RSVP

[colormegreen]

To be honest, I don't RSVP. I don't know if it's cultural or it's just my family (mom and dad side) and even my husband's family don't RSVP, unless we know it's a hall with space limitations.

 

[springtime]

To be honest, I don't RSVP. I don't know if it's cultural or it's just my family (mom and dad side) and even my husband's family don't RSVP, unless we know it's a hall with space limitations.

I have worked in cultures where this is true. However, the parties are pretty fluid affairs. They are usually come one come all events, the start time is just a suggestion, and the end time is when the party dies. In this case, it is kind of like a hall. She needs a number. Would this fall under the space limitation category?

Also, I must say I love electronic invites better because I have found a few invitations tucked into odd places in backpacks days after parties and I felt horrible for not RSVP'ing. Sometimes my kids didn't know the invite was in there.

I am surprised at the number of invites coming home in backpacks. We are only allowed to send invites from schools if the whole class is invited. Otherwise, they go in the mail or Evites.

I love the convenience of electronic invitations, but the the problem I have seen is that they aren't usually specific enough because they generally go to the family email account. If the party is at a cool place, entire families respond that they will be coming to the party, when only the first grade child was actually invited. The host then has to call and explain that the 3 siblings are not actually invited. I haven't had that issue when mailing an invite to a specific child. When the party is cost per person, it is a huge assumption to just add on all the siblings. On the other hand, at least they responded

 

[DisTXMom]

I've been there and know it's a bit stressful. My strategy now is that I get a message to the key families early and confirm if the date will work, then pick the date, send invites, etc. this has helped tremendously.

I've also had massive rsvp's the night before the party.

My DD's 3rd bday party was just our family and grandma. Everyone else got sick and could not come (it was going to be small, but not THAT small). My DD will tell you it was one of her favorite birthday parties! So, take heart/ it will be a special day no matter what

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I'm always amazed at how many people don't RSVP. I ALWAYS RSVP...yes or no. My daughter's invites always came by that Evite. You can see all the names of the people invited. You have the option of yes, no or maybe and can leave a comment. So many people would just never RSVP. Many would just show up without their RSVP. Makes it so difficult to plan. And the constant worry is anyone going to show up? My daughter's birthday is in May. She's already talking about a party. But this is exactly why I cringe about planning one.

 

[Vijoge]

We recently had a party for a DGD, who is in kindergarten, so this was her first time inviting classmates. Out of 16 kids in her class, I think maybe two RSVP'd. However, there were several that ended up coming. Even family members, who said they'd be there didn't come.

13 y/o had her party at a restaurant. About 30 kids said they'd be there, and we had to pre-pay for the buffet according to the number of expected guests. 4 showed up.

18 year old's graduation party was similar. A whole bucket load of relatives said "I wouldn't miss it for the world! Of course we'll be there!" Not one person came.

I hate these parties.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I'd suggest just having a party with 1-2 best friends...it has worked for me through the years. Kids really only want to see their best friends, they get to do more expensive things (than if we'd have to pay for 20 kids), and the best friends always show up (since we work out the day, time, and activity in advance).

 

[s3058]

I'm always very surprised around the RSVP culture in other countries. My experience in Ireland has always been that unless it's a wedding, and only really the dinner aspect, they aren't expected here. Even most weddings are mostly open once the reception starts.

If you live somewhere where it's common though I do agree that it would be very rude.

 

[pinkxray]

I always had a hard time getting yes or no RSVP when DD was younger. Once she was older it was easier since her friends would just say they were coming. I always RSVP when DD had intentions of going. I didn't want her to show up if they had a different count for food and things like that. If it was a definite no, I would usually RSVP and say no but to be honest I was worse at forgetting about it if it was a no. Once she got older and had more papers in her backpack, I rarely saw invites DD didn't want to attend so I almost never got to respond no.

DS is in daycare and so far has only been invited to one party. We RSVP'd yes a close to date requested bc we weren't quite sure if I was going to be working that day or not. When the kid is younger I really try to make it to every party DS/DD is invited to just bc I hope they will have a good turn out at any BDAY parties they have. It really stinks for a little kid that no one shows up.

I hope you get more responses and more people plan on showing up.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm always very surprised around the RSVP culture in other countries. My experience in Ireland has always been that unless it's a wedding, and only really the dinner aspect, they aren't expected here. Even most weddings are mostly open once the reception starts.

If you live somewhere where it's common though I do agree that it would be very rude.

Especially when it is clearly written on the invitation.

 

[tcufrog]

To be honest, I don't RSVP. I don't know if it's cultural or it's just my family (mom and dad side) and even my husband's family don't RSVP, unless we know it's a hall with space limitations.

Honestly, that's really rude. I have most of my kids' birthday parties at home and for many reasons I still need to know how many kids are coming. It's a big problem for me when guests don't rsvp

 

[Elle23]

If other parents are anything like me, they are just busy. A lot of moms work full time on top of caring for kids and a household. That is essentially 2 full time jobs.

If something isn't staring me in the face, it is very easy to forget about it. I doubt people intentionally are trying to be rude. They are just overwhelmed (I know the feeling all too well).

 

[kymom99]

I'd suggest just having a party with 1-2 best friends...it has worked for me through the years. Kids really only want to see their best friends, they get to do more expensive things (than if we'd have to pay for 20 kids), and the best friends always show up (since we work out the day, time, and activity in advance).

Yes, and I even offered to pick the kids up to make sure they could get there!

 

[colormegreen]

Honestly, that's really rude. I have most of my kids' birthday parties at home and for many reasons I still need to know how many kids are coming. It's a big problem for me when guests don't rsvp

It might be rude to you just like I consider your comment rude because like I said, it's a cultural thing...different customs. Maybe you should have told them your expectations or contact them for a count...my sister did with her wedding..yeah, she had to go out of her way for it..but she needed the headcount.

 

[colormegreen]

I have worked in cultures where this is true. However, the parties are pretty fluid affairs. They are usually come one come all events, the start time is just a suggestion, and the end time is when the party dies. In this case, it is kind of like a hall. She needs a number. Would this fall under the space limitation category?

To b e honest, no. Unless she stressed the need of a response I wouldn't consider a house party a required RSVP. Again, speaking in terms of my own experiences. Honestly, even when we have hall events we still follow up with phone calls and everything. It's just not a common practice for certain cultures. We buy food and goodies for the amount we invite and if there are left overs we just offer for people to take home.

 

[Sleepy425]

We invited my son's kindergarten class last year for his party. Out of 20 kids, 2 said no. 1 said yes (and it was my friend's kid, so that doesn't even count). The other 17 never responded. My son went to a party today and the mom said only 3 people RSVPd out of the class.
I always respond right away for parties, and do anything I can to make sure my kids can go, so it allows me to get to know more parents.

 

[TabbyShabby]

I lm good at RSVPing, but have given up trying to plan anything that needs an accurate headcount because there are always no shoes or surprise guests.

I really hope you don't cancel. It's not fair to your daughter. I'd follow up with those you invited. Sure, you shouldn't have to and you'll have to get over any feelings of awkwardness or whatever it is that's making you feel uncomfortable, but canceling a party is akin to breaking a promise. Not cool to do to kids.

 

[disneychrista]

In general when my kids were that in school if the friend was coming I got an RSVP, if they weren't then nothing. This was before texting, facebook, etc.

 

[Thing 1]

Many will call the night before or the day of and a few will just show up. It's just the reality of kids parties... welcome to the game.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I think generally, if an invitation has an RSVP deadline, that means that the host expects a response, yes or no, by the deadline. I don't care if it is a wedding or kids birthday party, common courtesy dictates that you should RSVP.

 

[snoopy5386]

Dealing with this now myself....We had oldest DD's last night, about half the rsvps came through the kids themselves, she is turning 11. Youngest DD's is next week, have gotten one guest initiated RSVP. She's turning 7 and we are having a party at our house. I have one RSVP from school friend's mom, got a yes from the 5 year old neighbor, but nothing from her parents, asked the parent of another kid and she did say yes, one other friend has not RSVPed but has asked me about gifts so I guess that is an RSVP. Last two invitees are school friends, have never met the parents, have not heard a thing yet.