Birthday BBQ, does this seem cheap?

[JENOS]

I will say again, some people do not have alot of money and never will. They are always tight on money and it's hard enough to just pay the bills. Should their children never get to celebrate their birthday with family and friends. If all the parents can afford is one option such a pizza or hotdogs should the child never have a birthday party. That would be incredibley sad. I hope that childs friends and family would love to come to the party regardless of the meal offered. Jeez people it's NOT ALL about the food.

I have been to pizza parties but there have always been sides (vegetable tray, garlic bread, combination platters)
OP was talking about a special occasion party; I guess milking your family and friends is the new norm. I should have had hot dogs at my wedding, I’m sure my guest would have been ok with that.

 

[caravarela]

If a family is having financial trouble then they should get a cake and celebrate it within themselves. If they decide to throw a party then they should have a menu that will satisfy most (as all is impossible).having hotdogs as the only option makes you look greedy since guest would be required to bring a gift. And if it is only about spending time together and not a special occasion and you don’t have money to feed your family, then it should be pot luck.

I think people mistake honest with rude, it is rude to you because family is never honest with each other!

I guess I don't get the argument correlating the gifts people bring to the food served. I always am going to bring a gift to a birthday party, whether all we get is a slice of cake, or it's a big bbq with lots of options. And I don't spend more or less based on what we're going to be served. We even went to a kid's party and the only entree was spicy pulled pork which most of the kids wouldn't eat- I didn't think anything of it, the kids ate the fruit and sides, had cake, and had a FUN time- isn't that what it's really about?!

 

[mombrontrent]

You could do so much with a pasta bar, great idea as well You could have a few difffernt sapes of pasta, hot or cold. Some cooked and raw veggies, a couple different sauces or dressings. You could have some cooked sausages and chopped ham. Some grated cheeses and garlic bread and a big ceaser salad, who could complain about that?

 

[design_mom]

You can’t accommodate everyone but you should have a menu that most people would like. If it is a thing about money, then why invite so many people over? They will most likely bring cash so you should show some appreciation by providing them with a decent amount of selections. If you can’t afford it, then don’t do it. Why people haven’t understood this concept yet still baffles me!
I’m sure people want to give their child a special day with lots of gift, but that isn’t always possible.

I am having about 80+ for DD Graduation party on 6/11; DS will be 1yr on 6/18. I could have combined both parties to save money, but that wouldn’t be fair to DD on her special day. So we will celebrate his 1st birthday while at Disney in July. It will still be special and will spare my guests the burden of bringing two gifts on that day.

Why would people be bringing cash to a child's birthday party? I would be bringing a gift (but not likely cash) to any birthday party, whether it's a BBQ or a cake-and-punch thing.

I don't think this is about "being able to afford it" -- nor about limiting the amount that guests eat -- it's a little about the cost, but equally about waste and convenience.

And it sounds like there will be plenty of "selections" just only one meat entree. If you were hosting a fancy dinner party, would you serve multiple main dishes?

Quite frankly, the OP's party does not sound large to me... and she has said it's FAMILY, so presumably she knows their tastes. If I just invite my parents, my in-laws, my sister and her family, and DH's sister and her family, that's 16. We're pretty close and I know what they'll eat. Hot dogs, burgers, chicken, pizza, barbequed beef, roast beef, lasagna, spaghetti -- they're all eaten. I also make salads, appetizers, fruit tray, etc. There is always *plenty* of food.

It seems so wasteful to make two entrees for each person. (You'd almost have to make enough of each for everyone in case everyone decided on Entree B. But in reality you'd likely waste half of each.) I know I'd rather invite them over this weekend for Entree A, and invite them over in a couple of weeks and serve Entree B. And I can guarantee that my family would agree with that.

In an odd turn of events my daughter asked me last night if she could change her menu choice for her birthday dinner. She said she would like pasta. So after all this controversy I am afraid to even ask how people would feel about a pasta bar!

Pasta is my favorite. I would love it. But I would be satisfied with whatever you serve.

 

[JENOS]

I guess I don't get the argument correlating the gifts people bring to the food served. I always am going to bring a gift to a birthday party, whether all we get is a slice of cake, or it's a big bbq with lots of options. And I don't spend more or less based on what we're going to be served. We even went to a kid's party and the only entree was spicy pulled pork which most of the kids wouldn't eat- I didn't think anything of it, the kids ate the fruit and sides, had cake, and had a FUN time- isn't that what it's really about?!

Sounds like a thoughtful person; did they also serve the kids beer? And you “did think something of it” or else you wouldn’t have brought it up, still lingers in the back of your head.
It is all about having fun, but as a host you should accommodate guest as much as possible. I think people need to learn how to properly host a party.

 

[caravarela]

Sounds like a thoughtful person; did they also serve the kids beer? And you “did think something of it” or else you wouldn’t have brought it up, still lingers in the back of your head.
It is all about having fun, but as a host you should accommodate guest as much as possible. I think people need to learn how to properly host a party.

Of course it lingers in my head, since it was only like a month ago, and we are talking about food served at birthday parties. I didn't think the host was "rude" and I didn't judge them for what they served.. there were plenty of sides, a fruit tray, a veggie tray, chips, etc so anyone who didn't like the pork still had plenty to eat. I've also been to kids parties where the only thing served is cake and ice cream for the kids. I think whatever the person wants to serve is fine. At a kid's party, the point (to me) is for the kids to have fun celebrating and they don't need a full spread of food to choose from. If you want to have a huge party and go all out, great. But if you don't want to/can't afford a ton of food, it's not a big deal. I'm not going to think less of someone, or not bring their kid a gift (or scale down the gift) because me or my kids didn't like the food options.

 

[ccgirl]

We are having a family party for DD. This usually means about 10-15 family members attend. Instead of doing hot dogs and hamburgers we were thinking of doing a hot dog bar. Like having hot dogs and then set up fixings of sauerkraut, chili, cheese, onions, etc.. We have a few vegeterians so we could do veggie dogs for them. I don't want to seem cheap but when we do hamburgers and dogs or chicken everyone seems to want one of everything. I thought it might be more budget and streamlined if we stuck with one food and then the sides (and we will have salads too). Or we could add brats too? I just don't want people to leave hungry. What do you think?

Haven't read all posts but this sounds great. As a matter of fact, I had my in laws and SIl, Bil etc. over for dinner a few weeks ago. I made a pasta bar and they raved about it! Everyone got what they wanted and it was economical. I made a few pounds of ziti, red sauce, alfredo sauce, meatballs, sausages, chicken, shrimp, mushrooms, and broccoli and people just added what they wanted. We had salad too so if they would rather put the toppings on the salad they could.

The only thing with a hotdog bar is that there are some that really don't like them. Perhaps do a few kabobs of chicken??? I have started asking the family to bring a dish as well.

Have fun!

Edited: I just went back to read the entries and noticed you are going to change to a pasta bar. Too funny!! See my entry above. If you want the alfredo recipe let me know. Anyway, it was HUGE hit as I said!

 

[mombrontrent]

Sounds like a thoughtful person; did they also serve the kids beer? And you “did think something of it” or else you wouldn’t have brought it up, still lingers in the back of your head.
It is all about having fun, but as a host you should accommodate guest as much as possible. I think people need to learn how to properly host a party.

I think some people need to learn how to be an appreciative guest.

 

[SaraJayne]

Sounds like a thoughtful person; did they also serve the kids beer? And you “did think something of it” or else you wouldn’t have brought it up, still lingers in the back of your head.
It is all about having fun, but as a host you should accommodate guest as much as possible. I think people need to learn how to properly host a party.

I think people need to properly learn to shut their mouths and be gracious for whatever the host serves.

 

[krcit]

Here is something I thought of when reading the responses from all of the picky-pickys on this board (some of the responses CRACKED me up and were very entertaining)...I wonder how many of them would turn away a sample of a hot dog at the grocery store of a free hotdog at an event (they have given them away at casinos and car dealerships I have been to)? Probably not many. We have a saying in my family: "Free Eats is Free Eats" and I doubt that many would turn up their noses at a hot dog when offered (other than an allergy or something like that).

While hot dogs are not expensive, they are not something that you people have to snub your noses at. Hot dogs are an all american food and there are some very high quality hot dogs out there. There is also a reason why some of the classiest cities out there are known for serving hot dogs and tourists seek out eating this hotdogs on trips--Chicago, New York, etc. MOST people in this country find them totally YUMMY!

Oh, by the way, I LOVE the idea of adding a baked potato bar. We have had baked potato parties in my family as well and those have gone over well.

I will not eat a hot dog. I do not like them. I don't care if it was free or a sample. It has nothing to do with them being 'cheap', it has to do with the fact that I do not like them. I am not 'snubbing my nose'. OP could have said she was having a seafood bar and my response would be the same. I don't eat seafood but if it was the only thing being served, I would make do with a side salad and chips. How is that rude?

 

[britfish]

Haven't read all posts but this sounds great. As a matter of fact, I had my in laws and SIl, Bil etc. over for dinner a few weeks ago. I made a pasta bar and they raved about it! Everyone got what they wanted and it was economical. I made a few pounds of ziti, red sauce, alfredo sauce, meatballs, sausages, chicken, shrimp, mushrooms, and broccoli and people just added what they wanted. We had salad too so if they would rather put the toppings on the salad they could.

The only thing with a hotdog bar is that there are some that really don't like them. Perhaps do a few kabobs of chicken??? I have started asking the family to bring a dish as well.

Have fun!

Edited: I just went back to read the entries and noticed you are going to change to a pasta bar. Too funny!! See my entry above. If you want the alfredo recipe let me know. Anyway, it was HUGE hit as I said!

I would LOVE your recipe! Also any tips on how you kept everything warm, etc.. This sounds like it may work and be a great solution for people that don't want meat! Noone in our family really goes crazy over meatballs so I like your idea about the sliced sausage.

 

[SaraJayne]

A pasta bar sounds just as fun as the hot dog bar!

 

[Sorsha]

This is just an observation, but after reading/skimming (because its 10 pages long, after all) this thread, I think once again this is one of those "regional" threads. It would interesting to see if the kind of party you throw is based on where you are from. East coast/West coast? What state? Small town/big city/rural? Even maybe blue collar/white collar/etc?

Because honestly, people, I have never ever seen so much fuss made over the menu choices at a kids' party. Just this weekend I attended the graduation party for a friend of my eldest DD, and it was thrown by a fairly well-to-do family. They served veggie trays with ranch dip, chips and dip and salsa, potato and macaroni salad from the deli at the supermarket, bowls of fresh strawberries and cut-up watermelon, homemade baked beans in crockpots, grilled hamburgers and hot dogs with all the fixin's, and a couple of cakes from Costco. There were vegetarians attending so they opened a couple of cans of veggie-dogs and grilled those too. The vegetarians were perfectly happy with that option, and thankful for the consideration. There were bowls of trail mix and mints on the tables, and coolers full of soda and bottled water on the lawn. No one thought anyone was being cheap, no one complained and everyone had a good time.

I have been to many parties where the only options were hot dogs, chips and soda, and that was A-OK. I have been to parties where the only thing served was Cake and Ice cream - the invitations usually stated no meal served - that was Ok too. Montana is usually really low key about this kind of thing. The hosts decide what they can afford and what they want to serve, and the guests are grateful for what they are given. Its a tough economy and free food is free food.

 

[ilovemk76]

In an odd turn of events my daughter asked me last night if she could change her menu choice for her birthday dinner. She said she would like pasta. So after all this controversy I am afraid to even ask how people would feel about a pasta bar!

I see a pasta bar as far more appealing. Make a marinara sauce with baked ziti. You could have meatballs and Italian sausages on the side. Add veal or chicken parmesan, garlic bread and a nice tossed salad and you will be all set.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

who could complain about that?

Based on some of the responses on this thread, I think you are being optimistic.

OP, a pasta bar also sounds lovely. Hope your family is not as hard to please as some on this thread.

 

[JENOS]

I think people need to properly learn to shut their mouths and be gracious for whatever the host serves.

"(from PP) Here is some spicy pork kids, be happy that we had something to give you" I guess your kids are robots then!

 

[mombrontrent]

"(from PP) Here is some spicy pork kids, be happy that we had something to give you" I guess your kids are robots then!

She acually said their was lots of sides and that all the kids were happy with that

 

[JENOS]

I think some people need to learn how to be an appreciative guest.

I agree but even more so, hosts need to learn to appreciate their guest.
Why have a party if you are going to expect your guests to “sit down and eat this because I said so”

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I should have had hot dogs at my wedding, I’m sure my guest would have been ok with that.

Hopefully your guests would have been happy to share the day with you and wouldn't have nitpicked the food, or maybe you need new friends. I can't remember what anyone has served at their wedding, except my own (and it wasn't hot dogs because I don't like them). I am not from the "cover your plate" part of the country, so I give nice gifts whether we have cake and punch or a multi-course dinner. I don't rank my friends based on the price of their entrees.

"(from PP) Here is some spicy pork kids, be happy that we had something to give you" I guess your kids are robots then!

My kids wouldn't have eaten the pork, but they would have eaten the fruit, chips and sides. They also would have been excited to celebrate with a friend, not looking for a food handout. If they were hungry when we left, I would have fed them. And I'm certain THEY are not robots.

 

[JENOS]

She acually said their was lots of sides and that all the kids were happy with that

I bet people making the argument about "what ever they serve is fine" won’t admit in this thread that they have had to stop at a FF restaurant on the way home because the kids where hungry.

I have!