BF frustrated with my dog. UPDATE

[Disney Doll]

Here's what I would do:
I'd be looking for a new place to live and a new boyfriend.

Here's why:
Because I am an animal person and would not want to tie myself to someone who clearly has so little tolerance for animals.

It doesn't make either of you bad people, it just makes you incompatible.

I will tell you the same thing I tell all folks who fancy themselves in love...pay VERY close attention to the signals people send. Your BF is sending you a very strong signal...that he doesn't care enough about you to care about the things that are important to you. That his clean floors are more important to him than the happiness that your pet brings you.

Again....doesn't make him bad. He has the right to feel however he feels. But it does make him a bad match for you.

The right guy is out there OP. Don't watse too much time on this one, cuz he ain't it!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Here's what I would do:
I'd be looking for a new place to live and a new boyfriend.

Here's why:
Because I am an animal person and would not want to tie myself to someone who clearly has so little tolerance for animals.

It doesn't make either of you bad people, it just makes you incompatible.

I will tell you the same thing I tell all folks who fancy themselves in love...pay VERY close attention to the signals people send. Your BF is sending you a very strong signal...that he doesn't care enough about you to care about the things that are important to you. That his clean floors are more important to him than the happiness that your pet brings you.

Again....doesn't make him bad. He has the right to feel however he feels. But it does make him a bad match for you.

The right guy is out there OP. Don't watse too much time on this one, cuz he ain't it!

Dang it, DD....quite throwing logic into this.

 

[Disney Doll]

Dang it, DD....quite throwing logic into this.

Don't you hate when I do that?????
And I just noticed my typo. I really do know how to spell "waste".

 

[Corwin12]

I think he's overreacting, but I understand he's upset because my dog is ruining his carpet and he's frustrated. BF has no patience.

Solutions Please!

I think it is interesting that you refered to it as HIS carpet. Is he making you feel like a guest there? I agree with the majority here, no one should even hint at making someone they love choose between their pet and them. And, anyone who does not believe that the bond between an animal and a human can be just as strong as that between two humans, is missing outon one of the great joys of life. What else, besides the love and affection of a pet, gives so much and asks so little?

 

[Tigger2252]

I'm afraid that I would not be able to have a relationship with a guy like this. I'm too devoted to my animals. I believe they are part of my family no matter what. I can't change that anymore than someone that isn't a "pet person" can change themselves. Older pets often have issues with incontinence the same as older people. I have a 14 year old Dalmatian that occasionally has accidents. Sometimes it is a UTI, sometimes it's just because she is elderly.

If I was dating someone for 7 months and he asked me to move or get rid of a devoted pet I had for 12 years I'm afraid I would be packing.

I hope your furbaby recovers from his UTI quickly.

 

[bumbershoot]

So a person doesn't want a dog peeing all over his home and that makes him the bad guy. Sorry folks anyone that puts a dog in front of their relationship needs to grow up a little.

Did you notice this tidbit?

BF is frustrated...and wants me to move out if it continues

She's not the one making a choice one way or the other here....

 

[minkydog]

I agree with the majority here, no one should even hint at making someone they love choose between their pet and them. And, anyone who does not believe that the bond between an animal and a human can be just as strong as that between two humans, is missing outon one of the great joys of life. What else, besides the love and affection of a pet, gives so much and asks so little?

About 2 years ago we had a problem with a new neighbor who took issue with our then-7yo Standard Poodle. He is phobic about dogs and hate big dogs, particularly. We had several months of back & forth angry words,ugly gestures and police involvement, during which the neighbor escalated, saying he didn't want to hear or even *see* the dog and would make it his business to get rid of my dog. My DH was so upset he made the immediate*(and unilateral!) decision to "get rid of" the dog. I was beyond upset, I was hysterical! His mind was made up, that dog has to go.

Lucky for me, my sisters rallied to my aid--one of them threatened to take the next flight to Atlanta to personally beat DHs brains out, and the other harrassed him and gave him no peace at all. They knew how precious my dog is to me. DH finally decided he couldn't fight with all of us and dropped the idea. Two years later we still have our Minkydog, happy as can be(the neighbor eventually called a truce and apologized--after we got the dog an attorney! How crazy is that?)

 

[Tigger2252]

I have always had dogs and cats. I bought my house because I couldn't find an apartment that would take my dog. When I started dating my DH he was not a "cat person". Early in our relationship he was at my house and made a comment about my cat. I think he was joking when he said "It's me or the cat.". I wasn't joking when I replied "I'll miss you." Here we are 24 years later and he is most assuredly a "cat person" now. We have one cat that is exclusively "daddy's girl". Maybe OP's boyfriend will calm down.

 

[2BigKIdz]

My oldest dog lost control of his bladder about the last year or so of his life. It was really exasperating, but what can you do? He couldn't help it. When he was healthy he would never have dreamed of peeing in the house. Your dog is older as well and this may be something you will have to deal with on a daily basis which doesn't sound like something your bf is willing to put up with. Just something to think about.

Good luck and I hope your doggie is feeling better very soon!

 

[MouseJunkie]

I have always had dogs and cats. I bought my house because I couldn't find an apartment that would take my dog. When I started dating my DH he was not a "cat person". Early in our relationship he was at my house and made a comment about my cat. I think he was joking when he said "It's me or the cat.". I wasn't joking when I replied "I'll miss you." Here we are 24 years later and he is most assuredly a "cat person" now. We have one cat that is exclusively "daddy's girl". Maybe OP's boyfriend will calm down.

The BF did calm down and we came up with some solutions (which he did say during all of this that he was willing to listen to suggestions if I had any. I'm learning he's not the problem solver. I am, but he's willing to work with me.) and are working on getting the dog well. BTW it was a total of 5 times, but mostly all likely due to the UTI. For the record, neither of us want kids. So, no worries on that one. The big concern was his haste and lack of patience when he's frustrated. He needs to learn a lot more patience with animals. We're all doing fine now and the dog is on the mend. Sorry, for the delayed response we took a few days vacation. Very needed...

 

[Disney Doll]

Good luck in the future.

 

[Mommy2three]

The BF did calm down and we came up with some solutions (which he did say during all of this that he was willing to listen to suggestions if I had any. I'm learning he's not the problem solver. I am, but he's willing to work with me.) and are working on getting the dog well. BTW it was a total of 5 times, but mostly all likely due to the UTI. For the record, neither of us want kids. So, no worries on that one. The big concern was his haste and lack of patience when he's frustrated. He needs to learn a lot more patience with animals. We're all doing fine now and the dog is on the mend. Sorry, for the delayed response we took a few days vacation. Very needed...

MouseJunkie- I have to say that I think your dog looks like Bear in the big blue house! My daughter has the disney store halloween costume of Bear in big blue house and it looks like your dogs face in your avatar! So cute!

 

[dogodisney]

MouseJunkie- I have to say that I think your dog looks like Bear in the big blue house! My daughter has the disney store halloween costume of Bear in big blue house and it looks like your dogs face in your avatar! So cute!

He does!

 

[MouseJunkie]

Well, I have an update and not with the best news...We've since found out "our Bear in the Big Blue House" ( I liked that and I agree...He does look like that dog.) is very sick little guy. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer this week.

I just wanted to say for the record BF has morphed in to the sweetest guy ever and he's really taking it hard. I think I'm seeing his true colors now that all the frustration is gone and the reality of it all is setting in. We're both doing everything we can to make "Big E" as comfortable and as happy as possible in the time we have with him.

Who know we'd go from UTI to cancer. Anyway, I'm happy just to have had 12 1/2 years with the best dog in the world and we'll enjoy every minute we have with him.

 

[lisajl]

I am so sorry to hear that news! I am glad to know your BF has come around. It's too bad it took something like this to wake him up.

Enjoy your time with your dog, good luck.

Lisa

 

[minkydog]

Oh, this is bad news indeed. I'm so sorry.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I'm sorry, but I'm glad your boyfriend did come around.

 

[ma2jr]

i'm so sorry to hear this...

 

[DVC Sadie]

If my boyfriend asked me to move out over my dog having had two accidents due to a UTI then I would be gone ASAP. No need to ask me twice but thats just me.

ETA: Sorry, I posted the above before I read your update. I am so sorry that your dog has cancer.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Well, I have an update and not with the best news...We've since found out "our Bear in the Big Blue House" ( I liked that and I agree...He does look like that dog.) is very sick little guy. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer this week.

I just wanted to say for the record BF has morphed in to the sweetest guy ever and he's really taking it hard. I think I'm seeing his true colors now that all the frustration is gone and the reality of it all is setting in. We're both doing everything we can to make "Big E" as comfortable and as happy as possible in the time we have with him.

Who know we'd go from UTI to cancer. Anyway, I'm happy just to have had 12 1/2 years with the best dog in the world and we'll enjoy every minute we have with him.

I am so sorry to hear this. My collie, Kaesee was diagnosed with bladder cancer after the vet thought it was a UTI. It wasn't until I took her to a specialist that we actually got the correct diagnosis. She was about as old as your guy.

I had surgery on my girl because the specialist gave her a pretty good chance. But after a year the cancer ended up coming back.

Good luck to you and your pup.