BF frustrated with my dog. UPDATE

[Scurvy]

No offense but it sounds like your BF didn't really want the dog in the house to start with but said yes for your benefit. If you love the dog more than him do him you probably shouldn't be living with him in the first place.

There's no indication that the OP loves her dog more than her boyfriend. I'm not sure where you're getting this. (Although if this behavior is typical for him, I would certainly love a dog more than him!)

 

[minkydog]

"Danger! Will Robinson, Danger!" I hope your radar is operational and force fields up because I see turbulence ahead. Is he upset about other dog-related issues, like the cost of food and medicine, shedding, doggy odor? I can understand being upset about the incontinence. I'd be upset about that too, and you are obviously concerned as well. But it's not something that a caring person would throw away a good relationship over.

Here's what I'd suggest: Take the BF with you to the vet. If BF won't go to the vet or continues to complain about the dog, there's your sign...Have his carpets cleaned and pack your stuff. A man who can't be flexible with old dogs is probably not going to be sensitive to children either. He thinks pee on the floor is bad? You ain't seen nothin' yet! Children and dogs are messy, smelly, and expensive. If children are in your future, you & he must be prepared for anything--normal children are a blessing but they can be trying as well.
And btw--Multiply that by 100 if you have a child with disabilities. Consider this relationship seriously to determine whether this is a comment made hastily in frustration or if this has been a recurring theme of frustration with the dog.

 

[sbell111]

I suppose that it's possible that your boyfriend simply doesn't understand that a pet with a UTI will commonly have an accident. Make sure that you carefully explain it to him (again). Also, make sure that you do as good a job as possible to remove the stains in the carpet. (I find that steam cleaning with this mix does a pretty good job.

If your boyfriend does not understand this, you probably want to consider whether he's the guy for you.

 

[lillygator]

don't have much advice that hasn't already been given but good luck...hope your vet can offer some suggestions as well.

 

[Chicago526]

It sounds like this is an apartment so this isn't an option...but when my Missy, at age 10, decided that the ONLY room in the whole house with carpet works just as well as the back yard...we put in wood laminate! Just finished that project last week and she hasn't had an accident since! Even if/when she does, it won't ruin the floor. We were planing on doing this anyway, she just moved up our time line (by a few years...).

Anyway, she's been to the vet, it isn't a UTI. I think that at her age she just can't hold it as long, and would sneak downstairs at 3 AM to make a puddle. I let her out just before bed 10 PM and get up to let her out at 7 AM but I think that's just too long for her now. But more frequent walks did seem to help her, the number of accidents went way down, though it was too late to save the carpet.

So, if the UTI clears up and it still seems to be an issue, try walking him more often.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Do you want kids with this boyfriend someday? Please ask him how he will treat your babies when they pee on the rug.

 

[downsouth]

There's no indication that the OP loves her dog more than her boyfriend. I'm not sure where you're getting this. (Although if this behavior is typical for him, I would certainly love a dog more than him!)

So a person doesn't want a dog peeing all over his home and that makes him the bad guy. Sorry folks anyone that puts a dog in front of their relationship needs to grow up a little.

 

[Andy B]

I am going to be the one who goes the other way, why do people seem to have more respect for animals than people. He is probably not a pet person but tried to put himself out for the OP but had a situation where then the Dog peed the house and to get passed this he suggested they move out, if the OP still has her place then no problem, otherwise he was probably trying to find a solution his way.

As for those who equate this to children then that is probably what they do but for me children are much more important. I am not a pet person either and I have children with no problems so it does not equate.

 

[clgwli]

So a person doesn't want a dog peeing all over his home and that makes him the bad guy. Sorry folks anyone that puts a dog in front of their relationship needs to grow up a little.

It doesn't make him a bad buy. It might just make him a bad fit for the OP. Honestly nothing more than that. If the OP loves the dog and wants pets and the BF reacts this way to two minor accidents then they might not be a good match.

Not everyone has to love dogs (or other pets). But not everyone has to live without them too

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So a person doesn't want a dog peeing all over his home and that makes him the bad guy. Sorry folks anyone that puts a dog in front of their relationship needs to grow up a little.

No, the point is the dog has a UTI and is sick. We are discussing his lack of understanding.

 

[downsouth]

No, the point is the dog has a UTI and is sick. We are discussing his lack of understanding.

I think he understands perfectly, but still doesn't wanna live in a home with a dog peeing everywhere. Can't say I blame him myself.

PS: A dog peeing in the floor vs a baby peeing in the floor is two completely different things and is ridiculous to compare.

 

[wvjules]

The peeing didn't start when she moved in. It started when he got a UTI. It will go away when the UTI goes away. That part of the problem will be solved. The fact that he was so ready to have you move out needs to be worked on though.

 

[daisax]

I think he understands perfectly, but still doesn't wanna live in a home with a dog peeing everywhere. Can't say I blame him myself.

PS: A dog peeing in the floor vs a baby peeing in the floor is two completely different things and is ridiculous to compare.

You really don't think that asking your girlfriend to get rid of the dog or move out because of two "accidents" is a bit of an overreaction? The kind of overreaction to something unpleasant but ultimately easily repaired that signals a larger issue?

It goes the other way, too -- I've seen women move in with men with the intention of making them give up their pets. Sadly, sometimes it works.

It would be one thing if the OP had a dog who was untrained and obnoxious and wasn't making an effort to solve a problem. But this is an elderly dog who had a couple of accidents.

 

[bunny]

Comparing a dog with a baby is stupid. To the OP, have you thought of confining the dog to certain areas of his house, so that if he does have an accident, it will be easier to clean up. If your boyfriend doesn't have a dog, it may take a while for him to adjust to the dog's needs.

Personally I would dump someone who would choose their pet over me. I have a dog which I love but in the end he is an animal. I believe in people first, animals second. I am not saying you should get rid of your 12 year old dog, but confining him to certain areas of the house might work out better for your relationship.

 

[Scurvy]

So a person doesn't want a dog peeing all over his home and that makes him the bad guy. Sorry folks anyone that puts a dog in front of their relationship needs to grow up a little.

I'm pretty sure no one wants a dog peeing all over their floor. (Although I could be wrong; there are some real weirdos out there!) But a person who would suggest that his girlfriend move out because her dog can't help peeing on the floor isn't the kind of guy that I'd be interested in.

There are lots of ways that the two of them could deal with this that don't involve the girlfriend and dog moving out, but it doesn't sound like he is interested in exploring those options. You could easily assume that he loves "pee free" floors more than he loves his girlfriend. Which is fine. But his girlfriend loves her dog enough to put up with a little pee on the floor. It does appear that the two of them might not be compatible enough to live together.

 

[downsouth]

I'm pretty sure no one wants a dog peeing all over their floor. (Although I could be wrong; there are some real weirdos out there!) But a person who would suggest that his girlfriend move out because her dog can't help peeing on the floor isn't the kind of guy that I'd be interested in.

There are lots of ways that the two of them could deal with this that don't involve the girlfriend and dog moving out, but it doesn't sound like he is interested in exploring those options. You could easily assume that he loves "pee free" floors more than he loves his girlfriend. Which is fine. But his girlfriend loves her dog enough to put up with a little pee on the floor. It does appear that the two of them might not be compatible enough to live together.

I agree that may not be compatible.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

This is not a people vs animals argument.

Not sure why people always have to throw that in.

This is about sensitivity to an elderly, sick pet, whom the GF loves and cares about.

It is a natural extension of that insensitivity to say that if he isn't good in this situation, he *may not* be good in one that's worse, ie a child peeing on the floor, writing on the walls, vomiting at the table, etc.

Hence, an incompatibility, and hence the *warning*. Spoken no doubt from experience.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The peeing didn't start when she moved in. It started when he got a UTI. It will go away when the UTI goes away. That part of the problem will be solved.

The timeline may suggest something different, which is why I mentioned submissive urination earlier.

They've been there for a couple of months. She says it started when the dog was afraid during the storm, and happened the second time, two weeks later, in the company of BF.

I moved in a couple of months ago w/ the bf and my dog recently started peeing in the house, which he never does. The first time was during a big storm and the next time, maybe two weeks later, BF had just taken him out and he peed on the floor after coming back in. I took him (the dog, not the bf ha ha) to the vet and he has a UTI.

I know when my dog had a UTI, she peed in the house a couple of times in one day, not two weeks apart.

I don't know if a culture was done to confirm the presence of bacteria in the bladder (which would support a definite diagnosis of UTI) or whether the vet treated the dog prophylactically for a presumed UTI, given the urination in the house. (Maybe the OP can tell us which it was.)

At any rate, once a UTI is treated, the problem *should* be solved if it was caused by a UTI. However, the OP suggests that it wasn't, by her use of the word still; I could be wrong and she could just be saying that he still thinks, meaning he was never convinced it was a UTI...

BF still thinks dog it is just the dog misbehaving and that he just doesn't like it there.

It sounds to me like the dog may have developed some fears in his new home.

OP, if the BF really wishes to try to help the situation, ask him if he could not act angry (and all that entails) in front of the dog and see if that helps the issue.

 

[TupperMom7]

If you have to choose, choose the dog everytime!

Seriuosly though, if the dog is peeing on the floor and cannot help it because he is sick, you should keep the dog in a room that does not have carpeting until the infection is under control.

I was going to say that dogs often mark in a house that they have not been in, especially if there were ever other pets there. They want to leave their scent. But if your dog has an infection, that is probably why he is doing it. Or you can buy doggy diapers and put them on while he is in the house until the infection is gone.

I still cannot believe your boyfriend asked you to move out. Gee, think. What would he do if you got married and had children and the child started barfing on the rugs? Would he want to get rid of the kids too? You might want to reconsider this one.

 

[HunnyPots]

Keep the dog, dump the boyfriend.