Todays installment
inspired by one of the best people I believe I have (never quite) met but think I know very well
Why do we go to Disney World? What does it take for us to get there? A lot
and we all know it. Some pay cash, some use credit
is it wise? I dont know because I try not to judge others
we never know why some do what they do. Here on the Dis, we can only assume we do it for our love of all that is Disney. Why did we happen to decide on a trip to WDW in May of 2005? Because we needed to add to our bank of family memories. Not all memories come at a cost. Most are free and do not require a park ticket or refillable mug
most are simple hugs, kisses and bed time stories under the blankies on a school night. Add in some sweet dreams and you have a recipe for some great memories.
I got very enthused to see a new part to one very popular thread on this board; only it did not describe Everest, crying kids, or meals with a mouse. It was simply a labor of love. And I love that. I felt compelled to share my own Why We Go to Disney story today.
First of all, take a look at the family in these pictures. Yes they are really my family but what you may not realize is that not all of these children were born from me, yet they are all fruits of my labor. One of these girls is not my biological child. She has another mother. O is our genius child; she is bright, smart and very reserved. She can read the heck out of a lot of books and her reading level is at almost 7th grade and she is 8 and in 2nd.
I suppose I should start by saying I was 18 when I got married. I had a daughter. I lived in a very unhappy marriage for a very long time, but did not realize it was unhappy until later in life. I do not want to go into a lot of details about it but there was a lot of abuse and very unhappy times but I am just not one to walk away for any reason and I never did. Never. To this day I never would have. God just had other plans for me and it started with my husband of 8 years, the father of my two daughters, coming home one night and telling me he was in love with someone from his unit. He was and is in the Army. People say you know these things before they happen, and maybe I did. Maybe. Maybe I was too busy caring for everyone but myself that I never asked whats in it for me? or Am I happy because honestly as long as my daughters are happy than that is all that matters.
Anyway here I was in trying to finish my college education with honors and a 3.8 GPA, directing a successful childcare center, leading 40 staff members, and trying my best to be a good wife but MOSTLY a good mom
that this ton of bricks flattened me like a pancake. It flattened me physically, emotionally, financially but NEVER did I let it flatten me spiritually. There were nights I cried. There were nights I did not eat
there were nights I think I had to make myself take a breath
literally. I just held on very tight to the thing I knew for sure, my love for my children. They are my soul reason for surviving when all odds were against me.
I was not sure I really wanted to do anything anymore. I had aspirations of teaching but I honestly did not know what my future held at this point. My friend, the owner of the daycare, told me I should call a guy named MW. He was a single dad at the daycare and a friend of my friend. Apparently this father was not like all the rest. He did not just swing by every other Friday to pick his kid up for the weekend only to let a week go by and never see or talk to her. Word on the street was that he had a very similar experience in his life with his marriage. My friend bought Phantom of the Opera tickets and gave them to me one day. She knew darn well I wanted to see this production because I love stage shows but I could never afford tickets. I was living in an apartment, on food stamps, driving a 1988 Ford Escort wagon in blue (with a black hood), and going to school on grants and scholarships. I had resided myself to making a difference no matter what. I had found a part of me to keep going, to show my daughters that it is not that easy to keep a good man
errr
mom
.errr
woman down. I was not going down like that
Anyway she said I could have them if MW went with me. So he did. He was in the same boat as I was. Neither one of us was very ecstatic to be on a date. It was quite soon after my divorce and he had been burned more times than the barge at EPCOT. Either way, we went. We sat in the very back row of the Civic Center
couldnt see crap but it was magical. Right away I knew MW was special because of the way he treated others. He struck up friendly conversations with the waitress, bartender and escort in the aisles of the auditorium. This was something I would do myself but had never seen a man be so involved in others lives, taking a very real interest in how someone elses day had been. It is a little thing isnt it? Not to me. It is huge.
Long story short, after that first date we have never been apart.
As a matter of fact, my dd9 broke her femur right after we got together. Yep, she broke the LARGEST bone in the human body, my kid. The 2nd day of 1st grade. I was single and broke and had a just-turned-two year old, was still in school, and had to have a job to keep that apartment and station wagon running. MW was my inspiration during this time. He helped with my other dd because of course my ex was around but one of those that could not really be bothered except every other Friday thru Sat evening til 5 pm
.you know
never spent a night at the hospital with my dd9 MAC
that is what Ill call her. She was in there for 4 weeks in traction. Having surgeries to pin her leg only to hang it from a bar and let it heal on its own
for weeks and weeks. She was on morphine and other meds that would make her rage so much she would scream and tell me she hated me and throw things and bash her head into her pillow
.it was horrific. I cried all night and day whenever I could, not around my girls. I was broke and alone. My family all lives in TN and I was by myself. I had MW and he would stay with her. One night after her surgery, I woke and was on the couch by her bed and MW was sitting in the chair holding her hand
all night because she wanted him to
because she was scared and I was tired and weak, and because he is loving and generous and a gift to this world in so many ways
then after 4 weeks in the hospital she was released. She was put in a body cast. Up to her waist
both legs. She now weighed 50 or 60 pounds, and I lived on a second floor apartment. She got to go back to school and he helped me in every way. He told me to come stay at his house because he knew it would be awful for me to have to carry her that much. Plus she was in a wheelchair. (Guess we no longer have to wonder why I chose to work with Special Needs kids). He was my savior and my gift from God at time that most certainly could have lead me straight to the bottle, drugs, or a psychiatric ward, and I am not being funny here.
Here we were after 2 years of dating, starting what others call a blended family. Why do they call it that? It irritates me. Either way, O was turning 4, my youngest MKC was barely 2, and MAC was 5. It was very traumatic for us. MW was and is Catholic and although I have since converted, I have to say that his family gave us HELL for a long time. They never accepted that we were a family even though we did not manufacture, if you will, these girls together. I went through a very hard time with all of this. Why did I take that so personally you ask?
Because I believe that a family is made from love not blood. I was adopted.
My father adopted me when he married my mother, yet I had to hear from my husbands family how the kids are not really sisters or how your not her mom, or your not her dad you all know what I am saying here.
Let me tell you now
my father made vacations a priority. We went to WDW
a lot. Yeah we drove an 88 Suburban with an air mattress in the back
late at night when my brother and mom would be sleeping and wed be on the road, my daddy would make a late night stop at Wendys for some Mushroom Swiss burgers and fries and wed share. Id ketchup his fries for him at 3am in the middle of Nowhere, Illinois. We shared a deep connection on those trips. I worried about him. I was his coffee girl, his co captain, his map-reader, Id dial the radio to the Eagles for a song then hed listen to my New Kids On The Block tapes in agony. Hed drive 24 hrs straight to get us to WDW. That is what I remember most about my childhood. Our trips and the old saying its not where your going, its how you get there is certainly the truth.
Yeah so we stayed offsite in a timeshare condo. Yeah so what if my dad made us sit through 3 hours of sales pitches for more timeshares wed never purchase for some free tickets to Sea World
So what???? I loved every second of it.
Some people think I could have lived my life childless if I had not adopted
I think I would have had a life and never lived it had I never met MW, my angel and friend.
Is that not terribly sad? My kids could have grown up in a violent, abusive home never being happy let alone ever enjoying a family vacation.
I knew instantly that I wanted to give that same kind of happiness to my kids that I had when I was growing up. I knew I wanted to build memories for our new family. After a few years of togetherness I can tell you, time, love and memories is what builds a family and the materials you build it with makes it strong. I am glad I built my house of bricks this time.
I also knew that whatever we do, we do together. MW has joint custody of O. She lives with us ½ the time and more because the girls are home after school with me and are with him before school. The girls will bring home stories they write and O will always mention how she is so lucky to finally have sisters. She was an only child. She never says I have to share now or I would be better off she is so happy that she belongs in a group of siblings. This is a bind that can never be broken and I am so fortunate that our daughters are friends and that they love each other. It is truly a blessing.
I hope I have answered my WHY for today. I know it was therapeutic for me. I could write pages about this stuff and I already feel like I left so much out but mainly, we go to WDW because we love each other, we love to spend time together and we love our children and find them to be exceptional human beings and wonderful spirits. DH is self employed and works until 9 or 10 at night and has a lot on his shoulders and mind
and I can only hope his heart is full of joy and that is what keeps him going, as it does me. (That may not make sense but I like it). The pics I will post today really have nothing to do with anything I am writing about today, some may not even be WDW related but they signify the WHY in Why Do We Go???
I say lets move to Disney and get away from the crappy weather....geesh!!!
) for quite some time, but I couldn't let go. I wanted her to have the 2 parent home and was basically the only one fighting to make it work. Yada yada yada, I finally left because I wanted more for us. Now he barely calls or sees her 
