This is where my story left off
Our glorious table at my favorite place to stuff your face of the entire trip
Ohana. Once again lets see that lovely picture that not even Locklear herself could weasel her way to
nope folks. Only the one and only
POLYMELONMOM can secure a location of this stature
Along with that 320 a night room with no balcony
only the SUPER cool can get such a rare room. Yep folks
me.
Hahahaha they charged me for a GARDEN VIEW room
only I could see the lagoon!! YEAH!! Who is the master now?? Huh?? Who??? You can say it
.once again lets have a look at that GARDEN VIEW room...
suckas...
Staying with the whole Poly theme:
I must say, I am a bit upset lately. Did anyone see Tikimans post about his website and the Poly?
Geeze I love that website. I mean who does this kind of stuff?? Only super cool (and obviously financially secure) people get to do those kinds of things, right?
Well
I have been thinking. IF Steve does eventually decide to quit with the Poly website, I will be mortified, grieve for a long period of time, and sulk profusely for months and months. It wont be pretty if this happens. I will have to set up a statue of the tikigods and pray to them nightly and sacrafice melons...no one wants to see that do we??
Not only will my dh shut me down and never PAY for me to stay there again
I will also have nowhere to go to plan fake Poly vacations.
You all know you do it too so quit laughin..
So I guess what I am saying here is that IF in fact that wonderful, all knowing Poly guy decides
to-heaven forbid-quit concierge stays at the Poly
.AND shuts down his site
Maybe he could pass the torch on to me
Along with his credit line.
Look for it soon people: my new Poly website.
Only I will showcase melons
and it will be called Polymelon Moms Guide to Paradise.
Google it.
Back to Ohana (for now) Give me a grass skirt and some coconuts and I will show YOU the time of your life....
Still feeling the full affect of that fruity drink
I decide to have a lil fun. I am NO slouch in the fun department and MAN can I get my hips a swayin
obviously I feel left out of all the fun the kids were having with the amazing ukulele playing, fun loving, lady Ohana. THE Richie Sambora of Ohaha herself... I am so sorry I do not remember her name. I even went to Tikimans website and still cannot find it. She was so bright, energetic and cheerful! Someone has since told me her name was Aunt something-or-other
.We will call her Aunt Ohana
.
Do you know what I love? I love to see people that LOVE their jobs. Aunt Ohana loves her job, she clearly loves children or is a heavy drinker because she can lead the masses at this place. I teach 10 special ed students in a high school but this lady leads 50 young kids around a restaurant with a smurf-like guitar and a smile on her face. I could never do it folks. I am a teacher. I would be like
get in a straight line or go back to your mommy
or
sing on key next time little Timmy
your killing my ears
or
Arent you that naughty child I saw yesterday spitting at the animals at the AK?? We throw kids like you in the fire pit
thats why we have extra large skewers
See, I could not do her job.
I would be fired and banned from Disney
and the Poly. I guess I will stick with what I do best
No not melons
get your mind out of the gutter
.
Websites
.oh no
.errrrr
I mean
.teaching
yeah teaching
..thats it
.
My girls are diggin it at Ohana and I start the hoola-hoopin mama dance
look over, trying to get my mans attention
dh is not even watching
hes not even getting a picture of me hoopin, he has been diverted by the wontons, which are actually very light, fried tortilla like chips. They were good but my kids did not like the sauces and kept asking for salsa
I wish I had remembered to take pics of the food but I totally forgot, AND dh was getting very upset at me for taking pics of ice cream, bread, pasta, toilets, guests in line for the toilets, and toilet paper (two ply at the Poly BTW)
.yeah...WHO is the reporter now?? huh???
Waaaaaa
I wanna go back in August!!!!!
Cant Tikiman hook a girl up, or what??
Melons as a form of payment, perhaps??
Ok, now I sound very freaky and very desperate but I am not ashamed. I told you all at the beginning of this TR what I would do for another vacation at the Poly, right? Its no secret people
everyone on the Dis that knows me knows I pretty much have no boundaries. Stop reading if you are offended. My friend Lil Grumpy has a mighty fine TR goin on
.go read that
.and good luck.
LYMI lil grumpy
there I go again...getting all crazy on ya'll...reel me back in PLEASE....
BACK to Ohana for the third time:
This meal was so great; I beg you, excuse my memory loss. I dont get to eat much anymore
remember?? Recovering food addict? AKA Weight Watchers Member??
I can not remember what came first
.or next or so on so I am just going to tell ya what I remember.
I loved the salad. We ate the whole bowl. It was great. The dressing on this salad was sweet n tangy. I kept going back for more salad thought the whole meal because I am a salad girl; ya know WW kinda made me what I am today. Rabbit food lover. The salad was crisp and refreshing. The greens were dark and fresh, not iceberg crap
real leafy stuff.
We then dug into the chicken wings, which were good but I am in LOVE with hot sauce and buffalo sauce, so I did not eat a lot of wings but they were yummy to say the least.
It was about this time that Aunt Ohana came dancing around the room announcing to all that she would be leading a little song and dance around the restaurant
what do ya think my girls were doing right now?? Oh yeah
dd9 was soooo all over that. Chances to scream, run around, dance AND have tons of people watch her??? She was so there. My other two joined in the fun too. They were having the time of their lives at this place
they were smiling bigger smiles here than at CRT. They danced a jig, dh and I got to stuff our faces for 10 minutes without having to service anyone
ahh the life. Who needs Fairy Godmothers
go to Ohana
And buy Nyquil for those tough nights when they just wont go down.
Then Ohana lady tells the kids they are having Coconut Races!!! Grab a broom she says.
UHHH..there are about 20 brooms and about 40 kids. Guess what happens next?
Sheer pandemonium ensues and only the wicked and fierce come out alive, with brooms.
My youngest two would have been toast had it not been for the quick wit of my oldest.
She pulled the old
oh look over there!!! trick to some unsuspecting kid
shmuck. He never stood a chance against her. She is her mother's daughter...
Even at 9 the girl is shameless
she knows how to bat those eyelashes and flash that gorgeous smile
all while flipping her long, golden blonde hair
So we have all now learned the lesson of female persuasion over the male species. The younger the female learns it and uses it, the less work she has to do in the future.
Do I advocate beauty over brains?? Not at all...I think it is very smart to use what you got...a smile can get you a lot of places and that is what I am getting at here...
Needless to say, she gets brooms and he doesnt.
This is the same kid that cheats at a family race. Yeah she does
Sometimes we race a few blocks to the grocery store. She always looses because of that nasty femur injury.
One day we were running
.and I mean full out Army run. DH and I do not believe in letting our kids gain self-confidence by winning. We like to teach humility by loss
and guilt. Remember??? It is what makes our daughters strong and determined. It is also called Catholicism... (PM me horsegirl if you feel I am psychologically damaging their young minds
or for ideas on child rearing
)
Anyway the girl will suddenly stop and SCREAM in sheer agony
MY ANKLE
.MY ANKLE I TWISTED IT!!
She clutches the ankle and makes a grimace that is close to that of the face you display during childbirth
I told ya this girl was good
We all run back to her..worried
terrified
my heart is racing
I get out my phone to call 911
She laughs and starts bookin it
fast
What a cheater.
Apparently she has learned some skills from the master herself
her dear ol shake-ya-tail-feather mama
I dont know whether to be proud of her or spank her little heiney
but I dont necessarily believe in corporal punishment so instead I make her write.
The girl is in the 90% percentile on her ITEDs but her spelling is in the 10th percent!! She hates to write and spell but can read very well. It is part of her learning disability
and the fact that this child doesnt like to do much of something she doesnt enjoy. That includes writing, spelling and folding laundry.
Dont get me wrong, she is brilliant. In geography. She corrects me on my placement of mountain ranges and the rivers of the Middle East
but cant spell them.
She is good in science too. She can name all 79 bones in a parrots body, by heart.
She is a strange yet memorizing being.
So the kids race and have a blast! I am jelous. Something about kids only
Yeah they just dont want any tough competition
. weenies. I know how to bat some nuts around
with large sticks
coconuts of course
GEEESH
I am pretty sure MAC, known as dd9, wins the race but she is edged out by that one big kid in the picture and his size is too much of a challenge for her. She tried to elbow him
but he just wouldnt go down. My other nice kids are in the back of the line somewhere
but they are having fun anyway
losers. NO
I am jk!!! Calm down
I would never say that to their faces
what kind of a mother do you think I am?????
The food here was spectacular. We loved it all. I dont know why everyone was so hostile about the banana bread pudding when they changed it. I think it was the best part of the meal. We can all eat pineapple and white rice at home
but that dessert and those new potatoes were fabulous IMO and something different.
Dont ask me how they go with the meal, I guess for the same reasons FRENCH fries go with a cheeseburger...
My kids thought it looked nasty but after one bite we were all once again wearing our game faces.
I said to dd5:
You hate bananas dont you.??
She said,
no.
I said
They are gross and in the broccoli family
She would not back down
they were all eating MY banana bread pudding!!! I was mortified. I would of asked for more if I did not have this weird food problem called
stop eating when you are full or stuffed like a Thanksgiving Turkey
Its an addiction people, dont judge me, learn from me and ASK for more dessert!!! I am going to next time
I am going to pay extra for my very OWN dessert at Ohana. Then you won't find my FANNY on a scale for at least two weeks after that.
DH loved the meal too, only he has a weird food problem too. He HATES waste. He was just awe of how much food is wasted at Disney.
What meaningless waste
the cost
You could feed a family of 5 in Africa for a month with that one stick of sausage
.and you are going to let it go in the trash type comments.
He is soooo reasonable
And not very fun at a buffet
but this mamma likes to get her buffet on
so sometimes we have words like:
Are you purposely not going back for 4ths just to offend me?? Are you saying Im fat?? What is wrong with you
what do you mean FULL???? The place is open til 10 and theres still some rolls on the line
Ill say to him.
He has this thing with money, food, time, credit, waste, saving for college
yadayada
I think he and ZZUB would be close friends. He is a twin and his brother is a lawyer. I am sure the two would devise a plan so that I NEVER step foot on the beach of the Poly again
therefore saving 200 a night
This is why I tell him how boring the Dis Board is
I dont want him getting any of those two rooms at a value ideas
.what a crock.
We leave the wonderful experience that is Ohana
and head back to the room
2307 Fiji!!! To change into suits
here is a picture of me in my bikini:
PSYCH!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL Did you see that picture of that gal in Jamals TR?? Need I say more
I have no Vettechickish body so I keep mine all covered up
Until the Maelstrom Track Team runs the 2007 WDW Marathon in our white sz4 string bikinis,,,RIGHT MEL??? LALA??? JAVAMOM???
I love my family. We had THE BEST time ever at WDW and this TR is coming to a close very soon.
There are many times my girlfriends will call and say
Lets go to Vegas, leave Mark and the kids at home..
But I just cant go anywhere without my crew
.my peeps...
It is just no fun.
Well, I lied. Vegas is fun without the kids
.but for the most part
I am going nowhere without those I love. My girls and my guy.
We take a dip in the volcano pool one last time. I was thinking I was good to go for another Poly 06 trip so I wasnt sweatin it too much at this point. DH said the words value, Poly and Disney all in the same sentence that night
so I was sure I was secure for another year. Apparently he was high on Pixie Dust that night because after the credit card bill came those words never left his mouth again in reference anything Disney
give the guy another Tom Collins because he needs to get "funky" in here...maybe if I tell him they are having an "Princesses Gone Wild" video shoot at the POLY in August he might go...
this is the same guy that exited our CRT experience and said;
"it would have been better if those princesses were naked"
now theres an idea...
My last night, in what was supposed to be peaceful slumber, turned into a pre-planning dream for WDW 2006. I know exactly what Zzub was referring to in his report. That nasty envelope. Your only hope after the envelope-o-death, is the promise of the next trip. Folks, I am one sucked in Disney fan. If I wasnt back in 1979, my first trip to the house of mouse with my parents, then I am now in 2005 after going with my own daughters.
Hold your applause people..I have one more half day to entertain you with. Its a good one too. With more Pixie Dust and Caviar Dreams
and we will enjoy it because, as we all know, next trip Ill be hangin in the Bayou
with the reasonable folk
who have no desire to be bankrupt
So next up:
THE MELONS THAT GOT NO LOVE
And
We are leaving WDW kids
look incredibly sad and unhappy
NOW
look it or Ill
quit smiling
look miserable
.