Being a mom is hard

[NHdisneylover]

Just to make you feel better; boys DO do it, and as NHDisneyLover pointed out, with them it doesn't pass. Once a boy is labeled a goat he almost always stays a goat for as long as the "gang" leader has any contact with him. My DS had an incident once in second grade that made him a laughingstock, and about 20 boys saw it. He subsquently changed schools and the whole thing seemed to be a distant memory. Wrong.

Six years later one of those boys turned up in a summer day camp program DS attended, and by the end of the second day DS was being kicked or hit every time the counselors backs were turned, because that boy told the group the story and convinced everyone that DS should be drummed out because of it. DS had attended and enjoyed that camp for three years, but one comment from a new kid with a knack for leadership, and he was an outcast again.

What had he done to merit all this? At age 6, he had given a male classmate a spontaneous hug. The kid recoiled, and that was all it took.

Oh my gosh--my heart just breaks for your son. I am so so sorry he was treated this way One thing I love about having moved to Germany is that German boys think nothing of hugs, and many other things that often lead to merciless teasing in the US. I have not idea why the attitude is so different, but am grateful for it.

 

[princessmom29]

My DD is 7 and we are dealing with this to some extent in 1st grade. DD is not as bothered by it as I am, I think. She is a very strong personality, and to quote her teacher "just tells them where to stuff it, nicely, and moves on" I think the PP's who have said an activity outside of school helps. DD dances 3 days a week, and has friends there over a faily wide age range. They are all nice girls and don't subscribe to clicks and ecxlusion. It is strictly not tolerated at the studion. Everone is treated with respect, period. We have several studnets at the studio with Down Syndrome and I think that has taught all of the girls a lot about acceptance. I think that makes a difference in how she deals with what we call "diva behavior" at school. It rolls right off her back because she knows who is a real friend and whose opinion simply doesn't matter, as much as first grader can. I really had a hard time with in in middle and high school, so I think the idea of my child feeling that way bothers me omre.

 

[Tink415]

I hear you One year my DD age 7 was not invited to her BFF b-day party, BFF said because she could only invite 7 girls, she choose friends she didn't play with everyday and didn't include DD since they did played together everyday.. DD was very upset. We talked about what makes a good friend, how you can have different kinds of friends, etc.

 

[LuLuO]

Just to make you feel better; boys DO do it, and as NHDisneyLover pointed out, with them it doesn't pass. Once a boy is labeled a goat he almost always stays a goat for as long as the "gang" leader has any contact with him. My DS had an incident once in second grade that made him a laughingstock, and about 20 boys saw it. He subsquently changed schools and the whole thing seemed to be a distant memory. Wrong.

Six years later one of those boys turned up in a summer day camp program DS attended, and by the end of the second day DS was being kicked or hit every time the counselors backs were turned, because that boy told the group the story and convinced everyone that DS should be drummed out because of it. DS had attended and enjoyed that camp for three years, but one comment from a new kid with a knack for leadership, and he was an outcast again.

What had he done to merit all this? At age 6, he had given a male classmate a spontaneous hug. The kid recoiled, and that was all it took.

Oh my gosh that is so sad.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I know its crazy. I student taught K and some kids had High School Musical book bags ad iCarly lunchboxes, while others had Tinkerbell and Hello Kitty (my DD in K now has Olivia the pig bookbag and lunchbox lol its cute!) It just seems like some girls grow up too quickly now. I am trying to keep my daughter with things that are "her age" LoL. Let her play dolls, school, and kitchen forever...please
IDK why girls just cant stick together (GIRL POWER) why does there always have to be a Queen Bee...even at the age of 5?

 

[EllenFrasier]

Dd is 8. Tonight at girl scouts, dd was telling a girl, who she considers her closest friend at scouts, about a birthday party she was invited to at a local store. The other girl then tells her that she had her birthday party there last weekend. DD was quite disappointed.

Add that to the fact that dd told us that the girls at school are picking on her for her Tinkerbell bookbag and lunchbox. They say that Tink is for babies. (As I write this in my Tink t-shirt).

I have an 8 yo little girl. Some of the girls in her class think that they are teenagers! I have talked to her teacher about the dynamics of girls this age and she said it's tough..the divide is huge.

Being a girl is hard enough, being the mom of a girl is very hard.

This is the time in her life when she will decide if she will be an individual or go with the flow of the crowd. If your dd likes her Tinkerbell bookbag and lunchbox, then she should keep right on using them. My daughter uses a bottle with a life up top to bring her chocolate milk to school and the kids were telling her it was a baby sippy cup. Guess what? She still uses it to take her milk in and I don't think she lost any friends over it.

 

[Pembo]

This is the time in her life when she will decide if she will be an individual or go with the flow of the crowd. If your dd likes her Tinkerbell bookbag and lunchbox, then she should keep right on using them. My daughter uses a bottle with a life up top to bring her chocolate milk to school and the kids were telling her it was a baby sippy cup. Guess what? She still uses it to take her milk in and I don't think she lost any friends over it.

We have had a lot of conversations about this bookbag issue. Her older brothers have given their opinion and today her 17 yo cousin, the one nicknamed Tink, gave her opinion. All say that she should keep the bookbag and ignore the girls. Easier said than done. DD is a quiet one. I'm not sure what she wants to do. She loves her Tink...no school until Tuesday so we have plenty of time to shop.

And to NotUrusula...that' horrible.

 

[pacrosby]

That's on our agenda for this weekend.

I remember that 7th grade was impossible but she's only in 3rd!! I thought we'd have a few more years before the girl stuff kicks in. She has 2 older brothers and they keep reassuring her that they will protect her!

As for Tink, her 17 yo cousin's band nickname is Tink!! I want to go beat those girls up that say Tink is for babies!

Does SHE want a new bookbag? And if so why? Because she feels she is too old for Tink or because she's getting teased?

IDK...if she in fact really likes her Tink bookbag I'd use this as an opportunity to teach her how important it is to be true to herself; to try not to make decisions based on what others might think; to feel good about her opinions even if they sometimes set her apart.

I do understand how hard it is but it's such an important lesson. Right now it's only a bookbag. Later on, let's just say that it won't be bookbags anymore.

I have a 10 yr old 5th grader who has an Elmo bookbag Gotta love Elmo! My whole family loves Elmo! When she saw it at Sesame Place last summer she just had to have it. She has gotten teased but she, quite frankly, couldn't care less. She has no problem telling people that it's fine if they don't like Elmo, SHE does. Couldn't be more proud of my little girl


ETA: I see there were similar comments related to this later in the thread. Sorry, I didn't get too far when I posted this. Should've read the whole thread first LOL