Being a mom is hard

[Pembo]

Dd is 8. Tonight at girl scouts, dd was telling a girl, who she considers her closest friend at scouts, about a birthday party she was invited to at a local store. The other girl then tells her that she had her birthday party there last weekend. DD was quite disappointed.

Add that to the fact that dd told us that the girls at school are picking on her for her Tinkerbell bookbag and lunchbox. They say that Tink is for babies. (As I write this in my Tink t-shirt).

I have an 8 yo little girl. Some of the girls in her class think that they are teenagers! I have talked to her teacher about the dynamics of girls this age and she said it's tough..the divide is huge.

Being a girl is hard enough, being the mom of a girl is very hard.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[mommasita]

Agreed!

I had my DS14 first, and boys just are very different. They basically can eat bugs, stink, whatever, and the whole bunch ALWAYS got/get along. No competition, at least in my experience.

DD11 is incredible. I am sure she is no angel either, but girls are so catty, jealous, it is awful . It starts young, and personally I find it just gets worse and worse. You need some testosterone in the mix.

 

[LuLuO]

:hugs:

My DD is only 3 y/o but I am dreading this.

 

[bored]

Now try being a husband to the catty little girls that grow up to be catty big girls!

 

[mom0299]

I know where you are coming from. It started for us when DD11 was in third grade. I couldn't believe we were dealing with "mean girls" at that age already! It continued through 4th grade so we made the decision to change schools in 5th grade. It has been so much better since she made the move.

Just keep talking to your daughter. Encourage her to be herself and find friends who like her for who she is.

 

[okeydokey]

It can be a rough age. Your poor dd. I would get her a new lunch box and bag if she wants one.

 

[mommasita]

Now try being a husband to the catty little girls that grow up to be catty big girls!

, how many wives are you talking about here.

 

[Kat77]

DD12 is normally a great kid but she's had moments where I want to sock the catty right out of her lately. Girls are mean. They manipulate each others feelings.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

, how many wives are you talking about here.

He's talking BIG LOVE!

 

[MM27]

I don't have kids, but I teach 4th grade and the girls do differ greatly. I have one girl that carries a Dora the Explorer bookbag and others that are talking about their Coach bags.

 

[quasar4legs]

Sorry your daughter is having a tough time, girls can be sooooo mean.

A couple of books that you might find interesting are " Queen bees and wannabes" and "Mean girls".
All my friends with daughters found these books to be very useful in helping their daughters to deal with the dynamics of 'girly social groups'.

Hope things improve for your daughter and everyone knows that Tinkerbell rocks.

Quasar

 

[katesorad]

I carried various Disney bags throughout school, including high school! And now, I carry a Dooney & Bourke bag with Mickey all over it! Nothing wrong with Disney.. we all know that!

Girls are cruel. They really are. Your DD will get through it.. just keep being a wonderful mom to her and giving her all the support you can!

 

[Pembo]

It can be a rough age. Your poor dd. I would get her a new lunch box and bag if she wants one.

That's on our agenda for this weekend.

I remember that 7th grade was impossible but she's only in 3rd!! I thought we'd have a few more years before the girl stuff kicks in. She has 2 older brothers and they keep reassuring her that they will protect her!

As for Tink, her 17 yo cousin's band nickname is Tink!! I want to go beat those girls up that say Tink is for babies!

 

[mjkacmom]

Yep, get used to it. One of the queen bee's in dd8's class told my dd that she was popular. I don't want my dd to be popular, I want her with the nice kids! I ask her who she eats lunch with and hangs out at recess with, and I'm not a happy camper. Fortunately, all of my good mommy friends have very nice dd8's, in the same school, so I can manipulate a bit. Just got a birthday invitation from one of these supposed queen bee's (mom's talk), and I asked my dd if she was in the same class - nope, and it was mailed to the house. Ugh. There is a girl in dd's grade who now goes home everyday at lunch (not in my dd's class). She gets picked on, and gets pulled out for most subjects for learning disabilites. She's so sweet, as is the mom.

Luckily, my dd9 and dd14 have lovely, kind, sweet, wonderful gf's. Dd14 went through some rough patches, but pushed through. There is a great book, Odd Girl Out - it gives tools how to deal with these girls. One major tool is to confront the girl, one on one - bullies need an audience, and back-up.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I agree with the allowing her a new bag and lunchbox...

In fifth grade, I wore a turtleneck with dog prints on it. I'll never forget the feeling of the mean girls teasing me for my "baby shirt". I liked that shirt, but for weekends That is when I first requested a shopping outing!

 

[budmonster]

I am so sorry that your DD is having trouble with the girls at school.

I have a DD12.

I guess my best advice would be tell her to be who she wants to be and if that includes carrying a Tinkerbell backpack then so be it. Girls can be mean, I've always taught my DD that if she's happy with who she is then that's all that matters.

 

[shortbun]

Dd is 8. Tonight at girl scouts, dd was telling a girl, who she considers her closest friend at scouts, about a birthday party she was invited to at a local store. The other girl then tells her that she had her birthday party there last weekend. DD was quite disappointed.

Add that to the fact that dd told us that the girls at school are picking on her for her Tinkerbell bookbag and lunchbox. They say that Tink is for babies. (As I write this in my Tink t-shirt).

I have an 8 yo little girl. Some of the girls in her class think that they are teenagers! I have talked to her teacher about the dynamics of girls this age and she said it's tough..the divide is huge.

Being a girl is hard enough, being the mom of a girl is very hard.

Her friends are wrong. There are so many teen and young 20 girls who LOVE Tinerbell, Hello Kitty, Any of the Princesses and wear them on their shirts, purses and cell phone skins. Find some older girls to let them know that your daughter is/should be their fashion leader. Take your daughter to Hot Topic-if you can stand all the skulls for the goth kids-there are many little girl themes repeated there for the older girls. It would be hilarious if she chose a skull decorated lunch box!!! What IS the politically correct 8yo girl apparel according to these young wenches?

 

[koolaidmoms]

DD is 10. She has had to deal with the same thing for the past 3 years.

But, DD really has learned to stand up for herself. We do lots of coaching on how to handle situations with other girls.

When someone made a comment about her wearing a Tigger sweatshirt and how could she possibly wear it she looked at them and said, "It's a good thing YOU are not wearing it then isn't it. I am because I like it." Add a little hair flip her and you have her in a nutshell.

We have also had her widen her circle of friends outside of BFF at school. I would question did your daughter's BFF really have a party or did she just say that because your DD was talking about a party she was not invited to and felt the need to "one up her"?

You may wish to broach the subject of people not always being truthful. My DD learned that early and it was very painful but she is very cautious about what her peers say to her and believing them.

Good luck!

 

[Liberty Belle]

It happens with boys, too.

My oldest is neurotypical, but he's always had different interests than most (all?) boys around him. He's 17 now and has friends, but it was really tough when he was younger. He was left out a lot. It hurts.

My youngest has ADHD, SID, and anxiety, so...well, he gets left out even more. He does have two really close, good friends that I am very thankful for.