Behavior of some children in the parks

[drakethib]

I agree. On our trip last year we had a good experience with a child who came to apologize for throwing a piece of paper at my DH during our meal in the Askerhus restaurant. It was a very minor incident we didn't think twice about it. But before the family left the child was standing at our table with her mother standing behind her apologizing with her sweet little face. Behind every good child is an attentive parent.

Wow. I love hearing stuff like that.

Of course, if I was your DH my heart would have melted (as I am sure his did) and that little angel would have had an Ice Cream Sundae delivered to her table (with her parents permission of course).

 

[Vivianne]

Wow. I love hearing stuff like that.

Of course, if I was your DH my heart would have melted (as I am sure his did) and that little angel would have had an Ice Cream Sundae delivered to her table (with her parents permission of course).

Unfortunately, they were on their way out. I was wondering what the little girl was saying since I was at the buffet when it happened. I was really impressed with the mother.

 

[babybunrab]

For a little historical perspective...

My dh is an historian specializing in American history of the 1800's (I promise, this is going somewhere). In his particular area of focus, he is CONSTANTLY coming upon old letters about "approbate parents" and "children who do not mind" etc, etc.

True enough, I don't like having to listen to children swear, have people cut in front of me and all the rest. Whether child misbehavior is truly a new problem, though, or the idea that all of us old folks were really such angel children are premises I'd guess I'd have to question. Be aware, though, that if my DS accidentally bumps into you in the parks, he will, have not doubt, say he is sorry...and mean it!

 

[MrsJ Henry]

DH and I make a point of saying something to a parent when we see a child acting appropriate etc.... Parents always get the dirty looks when their child is acting up or the mumbles from others. How often do they get the compliments for a job well done!!!!!
Several times when we were in WDW in Nov we saw children who were very impressive. We made a point to say something to the child as well as the parent. Good behavior needs to be reinforced even more so then bad behavior needs to be consequenced!!!

 

[DisneyGirl2005]

Wow I have to say I am shocked at the turn this thread has taken. I thought to myself, better to just stay out of this one, but I can't help myself.

I have worked in retail for 18 years, in those 18 years I have seen all kinds of situations with children and parents. My personal favorite are the parents who just can't make their children sit on their bottoms in the basket of a buggy (or cart if you're not from the south). I was actually told that by a parent of a 2-3 year old. If you have ever been around when a child falls out, you would never let your children stand in the basket again! It is just a horrible sound. Of course after the child falls out, the parent blames the company and decides to sue because the buggy is not safe! Go figure.

I don't think anyone expects children to be perfect. I also don't think we can know the inner workings of every family and what is going on with a parent during a "situation" with children. That being said I think we all expect parents to take control of a situation that is invading someone elses personal space or is causing discomfort or danger to the child or anyone else around. Is that really to much to ask?

Why is it that people are offended by the OP?

 

[noopy]

DH and I make a point of saying something to a parent when we see a child acting appropriate etc.... Parents always get the dirty looks when their child is acting up or the mumbles from others. How often do they get the compliments for a job well done!!!!!
Several times when we were in WDW in Nov we saw children who were very impressive. We made a point to say something to the child as well as the parent. Good behavior needs to be reinforced even more so then bad behavior needs to be consequenced!!!

Excellent, excellent point!!! Research actually shows that if you point out good behaviors consistently, they can become a habit. Even if a child doesn't exhibit the good behavior all of the time, if you make it a point to say things consistently, such as "You do such a nice job of helping others," children will begin to see themselves as that kind of person and will display the behavior more! I use this little "trick", if you will, in my classroom a lot. You wouldn't believe how many kids have changed their behavior because someone else tells them they are "good" kids!!!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I used to work in a Discovery Channel type educational toy store in a mall when I was in college...

One day, this family came in. The boy was probably 6. He was with what I presume were his mom and dad. Anyway, we had this big glass display case where we kept some statues and things.

The child decided it would be a fun game to kick the glass. He kicked and kicked and the parents watched him!

I asked the parents nicely to please stop him from doing that because he was going to A. hurt himself; B. destroy the case and everything inside it
They told me to mind my own business.

Since I was the manager on duty at the time, I informed them this was my business I was minding and actually, if their child broke the case, they would be held liable for the contents that broke.

Again, they told me to shut up and quit harrassing them. All the while, the child is STILL KICKING THE GLASS. And punching it. Finally I directly spoke to him and told him if he did not stop, I would have to call the police because kicking other peoples stuff was against the law. The parents told me I was threatening their child.

Eventually I called mall security, and they people were removed from the store threatening to sue me for harrassing them. They apparently did try to sue, accoring to the store owner. But I don't think anything ever became of it aside from a few phone calls.

 

[Evil Queen]

"I am 33 years old and I can assure you, even as an adult, if I were to act up in public, and my mother was around, I would probably get a smack upside the head right then and there in front of all to see.

"Act up in public, get punished in public" mom used to say.

When I was growing up, getting "time out" was not an option."


At 33 you must be aware that if you smack your child in any way CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES will remove them from you and start an investigation. This will require you to undergo several MONTHS of child rearing classes that will require you to miss work, only visit your children during the hours of 8-5 weekdays and up to 2 years of visits from Child protective services on a weekly/monthly basis. Oh and the kids learn they can just make a call or tell their teacher about the smack and 'THE PARENTS' will get in trouble not them.

Maybe that is why some people do not disipline there children this way. After having raised 10 children. My youngest is now 6 I have learned to pick my fights with my kids. I have never had to undergo these issues "thank god" but I have seen lives torn apart from them.

I agree smacking a child only shows I am bigger. As a child who was raised abused, going so far as to be left unconcious on the floor in the corner. I refuse to raise my hand to my children.

Maybe these issues are addressed out of your view. " Dont throw stones they may hit you in the eye."

Thank you! I once drug my son, now 22 out of a mall, guess who was waiting outside? I didn't abuse him, but simply (due to his outburst) grab his shirt collar and started pulling (not yanking and not choking), HE decided to throw himself to the ground, as I pulled him for 3 minutes on his butt. We were going home. He had been warned, wouldn't listen. Got outside, I was informed by Florida DCF (now) let go. So I did. They didn't pursue it, hmmm I wonder why?

My DS22, yes, still lives at home saving money to buy a home. He has gone to Culinary school and works for a "family" who pays him some big bucks. They like him so much, he basically sets the "deal" of his working days, etc. His works long days and many hours, but compared to many in his age group as a private chef, he has it good.

 

[Marseeya]

My personal favorite are the parents who just can't make their children sit on their bottoms in the basket of a buggy (or cart if you're not from the south). I was actually told that by a parent of a 2-3 year old. If you have ever been around when a child falls out, you would never let your children stand in the basket again! It is just a horrible sound. Of course after the child falls out, the parent blames the company and decides to sue because the buggy is not safe! Go figure.

I just witnessed something similar! I was shopping at Walmart (go figure) and there was this family who had two or three carts. One of the carts had a little girl around 6 or 7 years old all curled up in the basket asleep. Her brother was pushing the cart around at a run (he was around 5 or 6 maybe) and no sooner than I could think Oh Sh&T, that kid's gonna. . . than he toppled over the whole cart and sister came tumbling out on the cement floor, HARD. The parents were all like, "Oh, those carts are so unstable, blah blah blah."

Yeah, right, it was all the cart's fault.

 

[crazymomof4]

DH and I make a point of saying something to a parent when we see a child acting appropriate etc.... Parents always get the dirty looks when their child is acting up or the mumbles from others. How often do they get the compliments for a job well done!!!!!
Several times when we were in WDW in Nov we saw children who were very impressive. We made a point to say something to the child as well as the parent. Good behavior needs to be reinforced even more so then bad behavior needs to be consequenced!!!

I do the same, with my own kids and with children of strangers in public. I love the look that comes over a kid's face when they are complimented. It makes the child feel great and inspires them to keep up the good work AND it makes the parents feel the same way. (I know, bc. my kids are often complimented by strangers on their behavior in public....not bragging, just saying that I know a parent feels in this situation)

While I have not noticed the fighting that the OP describes, I agree with her point. Personally, my pet peeve is the way some kids push and shove in line for a character greeting, activity, etc. I know often it is innocent but more often it seems intentional. It hurts, in a way, bc. my kids are not at all aggressive, not even assertive! They won't say a thing. I feel like they are on the losing end bc. they are well behaved and it shouldn't be that way. I have even had experiences where the parents, with hands on their child's shoulders, lead their kids right in front of mine. Just writing this, I'm gettting nervous about this happening again on our Sept trip!

 

[Lizzybee]

My kids misbehaved horribly in a store...ONE TIME and only one time. Did I hit them, nope not at all. I took them to Target to look at the toys when I was done shopping. Yep I sure did, took them right on over to Target, which they were going to get to do if they were 'good' while I shopped. They were very confused as we drove there, they knew they had been bad and they knew I was angry but they could not in their wildest dreams imagine what was in store for them in Target. I embarrassed the snot out of them. I acted like THEY did in my store. I whined I hollered I pushed them I begged to go on a cruise LOUDLY, I begged for nail polish, I whined that I was BOOOOOREEEED, I escorted my son to the barbie aisle and let my little girl look only at the GI Joes and then as soon as my horrible horrible behavior stopped, I marched them right out to the car. I told them, you pester me in the store I pester YOU. Every once in awhile they start to misbehave in the store, and I start singing... "what you want, baby I got it and what you need well you know I got it (then louder) and I'll I'm asking you is for a lil Respect." I usually don't make it that far in the song before they chill out and start going "shhhh MOM!" Although, since learning the sock it to me background vocals to that song, my daughter tends to want to sing along sometimes. Sound crazy? Maybe, but my kids won't ever be discussed negatively in a forum for their behavior at WDW, any store, or any other public place. If you are bold enough (or are willing to drive to a Target far enough away from where you live and where no one knows you) give it a try!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Lizzybee:

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

Why is it that people are offended by the OP?

I'm not offended persay by the OP I just see the other side. Last Thursday I was having an awful day (a family friends 2 month old baby died the night before), and absolutely had to go to the grocery store to get stuff for my sisters bridal shower that I was hosting Sat. Turned out we had to go to 3 stores to get the ingredients I needed. By the third store you can guess my 2yo and 4yo were pretty antsy and unhappy. And I just couldn't deal. So I primarily ignored their behavior and just got what I needed left and tried to start over with them when I got home. In this case that was best for our family. I was emotionally in no condition to discipline them properly without breaking down myself and even though they were definitely misbehaving the reaction I would have had would not have been an appropriate response. You should've seen the looks I got. But just the week before and the same store I had a women praising me for how wonderful I was with my kids and what angels they were (we usually play I spy up and down the grocery aisles). 99% percent of the time we do excactly what we should (usually with that behavior I would have left the store immediately returned home, put them on time out and used our evening family play time to return to the store to finish what they didn't allow me to get done earlier... after following through many times just hinting at that works wonders most days) but I would say the most feedback I ever get is that other 1% time, and in those cases there are extenuating circumstances. So when I hear these stories I just wonder what was really going on. No doubt there are some bad parents without a clue out there (the Nanny shows prove that) but alot of them are good parents (and kids) having a BAD day.

 

[Mom to Will and Finn]

Every once in awhile they start to misbehave in the store, and I start singing... "what you want, baby I got it and what you need well you know I got it (then louder) and I'll I'm asking you is for a lil Respect."

I'll have to try that one. Ds1 is old enough to act right now (and he never was one to misbehave in a store), but Ds2 is two. I'm sure that will come in handy in a couple of years.

 

[plutolovr]

I think this thread is great! My kids, who are now 19, 17 and 17, often see children act out in public and comment "you would never let us do that in public" and they would be right.

From early on I established "the look." That's all it took. (I got that from my mom, and she still gives it to me.)

As a young mom of then a 2 yr. old, and infant twins, I never had the need to lock cabinets, cover outlets, etc. They knew what "no" meant. I would take all three shopping and if someone started something we left immediately. We would take them to very nice restaurants at young ages without incident.

I don't understand today when I go out and they have these huge carts (with the little cars on them) for kids. They are annoying. Kids just need to learn how to behave without entertainment.

We took all three to DW when DD (19) was 7 and twins were 5, never needed a stroller. They just behaved, when they got tired we left. Now they can do 12 hour days at DW without complaints (conditioning).

 

[eeyore kelly]

comment "you would never let us do that in public" and they would be right.

From early on I established "the look."

My Kids (12 & 9) look at other kids, and say "If you were their mom, they wouldn't act like that.

The look is a powerful tool. I use it a lot, especially in public

 

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

My dd and I couldn't believe some of the behavior we witnessed at the parks last week! As a parent and a teacher, the way some parents were allowing their kids to behave was unbelievable! We saw children physically hurting one another - slapping, kicking, and punching their brothers/sisters. Their parents tended to look the other way, or respond with a simple "stop" or "be nice". :

I agee this is very disturbing and that physical harm should not be tolerated. I did have to laugh when reading your post (in a pathetic way) because all I could picture for the "stop" and "be nice" is all the times in Willy Wonka when Gene Wilder would tell the "naughty" children, "No, stop, don't" -- without an ounce of emotion or conviction -- before they were about to do something bad and possibly harm themselves!

Of course, what's funny in a movie is not funny in real life Sad, but not surprising.

 

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

Tink & Squirts mom,
I'm sorry to hear about what your friends and you are going through. Your post is a good reminder that we all do have good and bad days, and we are doing the best we can sometimes. I do think what you were going through was unimaginably bad - far worse than most "bad days!" My thoughts are with you.

 

[crazymomof4]

My kids misbehaved horribly in a store...ONE TIME and only one time. Did I hit them, nope not at all. I took them to Target to look at the toys when I was done shopping. Yep I sure did, took them right on over to Target, which they were going to get to do if they were 'good' while I shopped. They were very confused as we drove there, they knew they had been bad and they knew I was angry but they could not in their wildest dreams imagine what was in store for them in Target. I embarrassed the snot out of them. I acted like THEY did in my store. I whined I hollered I pushed them I begged to go on a cruise LOUDLY, I begged for nail polish, I whined that I was BOOOOOREEEED, I escorted my son to the barbie aisle and let my little girl look only at the GI Joes and then as soon as my horrible horrible behavior stopped, I marched them right out to the car. I told them, you pester me in the store I pester YOU. Every once in awhile they start to misbehave in the store, and I start singing... "what you want, baby I got it and what you need well you know I got it (then louder) and I'll I'm asking you is for a lil Respect." I usually don't make it that far in the song before they chill out and start going "shhhh MOM!" Although, since learning the sock it to me background vocals to that song, my daughter tends to want to sing along sometimes. Sound crazy? Maybe, but my kids won't ever be discussed negatively in a forum for their behavior at WDW, any store, or any other public place. If you are bold enough (or are willing to drive to a Target far enough away from where you live and where no one knows you) give it a try!

Now THAT is child abuse! ------- Just kidding!

I love it! That would work in a number of situations. It allows kids to realize how their behavior affects you and others. LOL -When I do something like this, I think it jolts my kids bc. they think, "We've done it now, she's going off the deep end!"

Just wondering......did you notice any funny looks from other shoppers in the Target?

 

[disneyaggie]

For those of you that have ever wanted to say something to a parent of a misbehaving child, my DM finally did.
She was working in a candy kiosk at the mall. A little boy was banging on the glass. She asked the mother to stop him so he wouldn't break it (and possibly hurt himself). The mother actually told my DM that she worked full time and didn't spend that much time with him so she really felt guilty reprimanding him.
And my DM's witty comeback, with a sickening sweet smile - "Then don't you worry. The courts will take care of that for you in about 15 years."

I love it, I love it, I love it! And to add to your DM's statement, not only will the courts take care of that in about 15 years, but we as tax payers pay for it!