Behavior of some children in the parks

[MrsJ Henry]

My dd and I couldn't believe some of the behavior we witnessed at the parks last week! As a parent and a teacher, the way some parents were allowing their kids to behave was unbelievable! We saw children physically hurting one another - slapping, kicking, and punching their brothers/sisters. Their parents tended to look the other way, or respond with a simple "stop" or "be nice". While I can fathom such a response for smaller behaviors, physical harm should never be tolerated. It's no wonder some of my students are numb to hurting others. I once had a parent respond that at least her child didn't cause permanent damage to a classmate when she punched him in the back! It seems that it's okay to hurt someone as long as they can recover, or as long as you don't really mean it.
Honestly, if my child did that, she would have a consequence - not getting on the ride, or sitting out the next one or two with a time out on a bench. I'd also prepare her for future consequences: each time it happens, that's 15 minutes of pool time lost sitting on a chair, or none at all.
Children learn right and wrong from adults. Parents should put their responsibility to raise their children to be decent, humane, and moral people first. The "I don't feel like dealing with it" attitude is irresponsible. I'm a single parent - if I can discipline my children by myself, so can the many 2 parent families we saw allowing their children to be mean to, and hurt, others.

I work with emotionally disturbed teens and the things I see and hear about are terrible. I wish there were more mothers like you. Of course I would be out of a job but it sure would be worth it!!!!!!
Your children sure will thank you also!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lomillerin]

I do think school and a family vacation are completely different aspects. Of course a teacher and school needs to protect all children. I was talking about 2 siblings. NO, people should absolutely never hurt anyone ever, I would absolutely discipline my children and it would not be tolerated. Anyone that has an older brother/sibling is probably familiar with the teasing etc. that siblings seem to "harass" each other with. Of course, with my son, he is also the first to protect his sister. You know, the "only I can give her a hard time, but no one else had better" thing.
By the way, my son is not disrepectful at school or otherwise, which is why teachers enjoy having him in their classes. He is kind and sweet and concerned about others. He does not get in trouble at school, but he is far from perfect, which was my point, but I must not have said it correctly.
The point is that people see one thing and then judge parents as the worst parents ever. I feel like I am a good parent but my kids still do things I thought I have taught them not to do. Maybe, you would see them misbehave and think what a terrible child or parent. I have yet to find the perfect child or parent.
We should not assume the parents are bad or child is always behaving badly.
If you know how to raise the perfect child, you should write a book to help us parents that don't.

 

[Mom to Will and Finn]

I'm shocked by the behavior I see out of adults. I half way expect it out of children, as they're still learning how to properly behave and control themselves. The rude behavior I see by adults on almost a daily basis just astonishes me.

I have a very polite, well-behaved (except he has a problem controlling his mouth with us, never with strangers) eleven year old son and a two year old who is working on his behavior. It seems he's either an angel or a devil.
My eleven year old likes to hold door open for people when we're out and I'm always disgusted by the number of adults who just pass through the door without saying thank you to him. I can't even fathom why someone would do that.

 

[Marseeya]

This is something I was just complaining about to my husband. It seems to me that every time we go somewhere, there's always at least one child who's behaving horribly and the parent is just sitting there with a doting smile, or not doing anything to curb the behavior.

I'm not talking about the occasional meltdown or temper tantrum where a parent is at the end of her rope, but situations where a child is ruining everybody else's peaceful time (movie, quiet dinner environment, etc). Let me tell you what, if MY kids are disturbed by the bad behavior of another child, you know it's gotta be bad!

 

[fran99999]

"I am 33 years old and I can assure you, even as an adult, if I were to act up in public, and my mother was around, I would probably get a smack upside the head right then and there in front of all to see.

"Act up in public, get punished in public" mom used to say.

When I was growing up, getting "time out" was not an option."


At 33 you must be aware that if you smack your child in any way CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES will remove them from you and start an investigation. This will require you to undergo several MONTHS of child rearing classes that will require you to miss work, only visit your children during the hours of 8-5 weekdays and up to 2 years of visits from Child protective services on a weekly/monthly basis. Oh and the kids learn they can just make a call or tell their teacher about the smack and 'THE PARENTS' will get in trouble not them.

Maybe that is why some people do not disipline there children this way. After having raised 10 children. My youngest is now 6 I have learned to pick my fights with my kids. I have never had to undergo these issues "thank god" but I have seen lives torn apart from them.

I agree smacking a child only shows I am bigger. As a child who was raised abused, going so far as to be left unconcious on the floor in the corner. I refuse to raise my hand to my children.

Maybe these issues are addressed out of your view. " Dont throw stones they may hit you in the eye."

 

[lomillerin]

fran99999

I could not agree with you more.

 

[disneyjunkie]

The point is that people see one thing and then judge parents as the worst parents ever. I feel like I am a good parent but my kids still do things I thought I have taught them not to do. Maybe, you would see them misbehave and think what a terrible child or parent. I have yet to find the perfect child or parent.
We should not assume the parents are bad or child is always behaving badly.
If you know how to raise the perfect child, you should write a book to help us parents that don't.

No one is saying that parents are bad because their child misbehaves. Posters are wondering why some parents will allow the behavior to continue.

If a child is having a melt down in a restaurant, why just sit there like nothing is wrong? Why not remove the child?

If your child is line push and shoving, do ignore the behavior or do you put a stop to it?

I'm sure NONE of us have perfect children or are perfect parents. However, I'm sure most of us would not allow our kids to act up while we stand there and do nothing.

 

[noopy]

I do think school and a family vacation are completely different aspects. Of course a teacher and school needs to protect all children. I was talking about 2 siblings. NO, people should absolutely never hurt anyone ever, I would absolutely discipline my children and it would not be tolerated. Anyone that has an older brother/sibling is probably familiar with the teasing etc. that siblings seem to "harass" each other with. Of course, with my son, he is also the first to protect his sister. You know, the "only I can give her a hard time, but no one else had better" thing.
By the way, my son is not disrepectful at school or otherwise, which is why teachers enjoy having him in their classes. He is kind and sweet and concerned about others. He does not get in trouble at school, but he is far from perfect, which was my point, but I must not have said it correctly.
The point is that people see one thing and then judge parents as the worst parents ever. I feel like I am a good parent but my kids still do things I thought I have taught them not to do. Maybe, you would see them misbehave and think what a terrible child or parent. I have yet to find the perfect child or parent.
We should not assume the parents are bad or child is always behaving badly.
If you know how to raise the perfect child, you should write a book to help us parents that don't.

Lomillerin, as others have pointed out, you're still reading way too much into my post, or you're just not reading it carefully. Never once did I say these parents were "bad" or assume that their children always behave badly! Who judged these parents as "the worst parents ever"? Where are you reading this? Who has said there is a perfect child or parent? Have I not mentioned that I am a veteran teacher, elementary at that? Do you really think I believe there are such people in this world?
Go back and read my post. Once again, watching children hurt each other (and not a little poke or tap) was my concern. I believe this should not be treated lightly, as we witnessed in several different incidents. In some cases, nothing was said at all to these children.
You not only are trying to put words in my mouth, but you seem to be taking my post a bit too personally...
Calm down, find something positive to think about, then create some laughter with your wonderful kids!!!

 

[donaldsgal]

DITTO noopy.

 

[noopy]

"I am 33 years old and I can assure you, even as an adult, if I were to act up in public, and my mother was around, I would probably get a smack upside the head right then and there in front of all to see.

"Act up in public, get punished in public" mom used to say.

When I was growing up, getting "time out" was not an option."


At 33 you must be aware that if you smack your child in any way CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES will remove them from you and start an investigation. This will require you to undergo several MONTHS of child rearing classes that will require you to miss work, only visit your children during the hours of 8-5 weekdays and up to 2 years of visits from Child protective services on a weekly/monthly basis. Oh and the kids learn they can just make a call or tell their teacher about the smack and 'THE PARENTS' will get in trouble not them.

Maybe that is why some people do not disipline there children this way. After having raised 10 children. My youngest is now 6 I have learned to pick my fights with my kids. I have never had to undergo these issues "thank god" but I have seen lives torn apart from them.

I agree smacking a child only shows I am bigger. As a child who was raised abused, going so far as to be left unconcious on the floor in the corner. I refuse to raise my hand to my children.

Maybe these issues are addressed out of your view. " Dont throw stones they may hit you in the eye."

Again, I think words are being put in people's mouths!!! The person who posted this didn't say she/he would smack their own child. The point was that bad behavior in public wasn't tolerated by his/her mother, and shouldn't be in this day and time.
Good grief, ladies! Read more carefully and stop assuming. The message is simple: responsible parents discipline their children. They shouldn't ignore it or be embarassed by it. Correcting behavior should be done immediately, not "out of view" 20 minutes later after standing in line and getting on a park ride. Other people will thank them for it and recognize that these parents are doing the job they accepted when they decided to have children! As a teacher, these are the parents we love, and respect, the most!

 

[lomillerin]

I am sorry, I forgot you were a teacher. You must be right.

I should go be with my kids instead of reading your post about how to be a parent as I am sure you wrote the post while you were "creating laughter with your wonderful kids".

 

[drakethib]

"I am 33 years old and I can assure you, even as an adult, if I were to act up in public, and my mother was around, I would probably get a smack upside the head right then and there in front of all to see.

"Act up in public, get punished in public" mom used to say.

When I was growing up, getting "time out" was not an option."


At 33 you must be aware that if you smack your child in any way CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES will remove them from you and start an investigation. This will require you to undergo several MONTHS of child rearing classes that will require you to miss work, only visit your children during the hours of 8-5 weekdays and up to 2 years of visits from Child protective services on a weekly/monthly basis. Oh and the kids learn they can just make a call or tell their teacher about the smack and 'THE PARENTS' will get in trouble not them.

Maybe that is why some people do not disipline there children this way. After having raised 10 children. My youngest is now 6 I have learned to pick my fights with my kids. I have never had to undergo these issues "thank god" but I have seen lives torn apart from them.

I agree smacking a child only shows I am bigger. As a child who was raised abused, going so far as to be left unconcious on the floor in the corner. I refuse to raise my hand to my children.

Maybe these issues are addressed out of your view. " Dont throw stones they may hit you in the eye."

Abuse is one thing and it is wrong, there is no 2 ways about it. Anyone who abuses a child or an adult should be shot on site, no questions asked.

However, spanking a child is something different. I was never beaten as a child, but I sure knew what a belt and a switch was and that I had parents who weren't afraid to use them. We (my sister &I) joke about it with my parents to this day.

I am afraid when a parent starts worrying if a child in going to call CPS and report that they are abusing them (when they are not) there is a bigger problem at hand. The parent is no longer the parent.

My words here seem to have gotten aimed in another direction (as they normally do on these boards) but please note that I do not think that spanking a child is to only means to discipline a child and I am not advocating to do so, but I am personally tired of being in a restaurant or wherever and listening to kids cuss and yell at their parents for 15 minutes straight (as it happended last night while the family was out eating)and disturb the whole world while they just sit there with a dumb glaze over their face to scared to correct their offspring. That is what we were orginally talking about.

And you know what, I am glad my parents did discipline me as they did..GASP!!! That’s right; I said I am glad my parents did so. By them doing their job as a parent, I learned what was right and what was wrong. Was or am I an angel or perfect? Heavens no. But the discipline that I learned helped my through a long stint in the military, a college graduation, a good career in the public sector, and a successful marriage.

You may chose to raise you children as you see fit and I will do the same because quite frankly, I think my (as well as my wife’s) parents did a hell of a job and I plan to follow their lead.

So I will leave my view of what I think the title should have been to this thread named "Parents misbehaving in the park".

Have a good one and God bless.

P.S. Back then my mom was bigger then me. Now I am much bigger then her but would still not act up in public when she is around.

 

[alyssa810]

Going back to some the original posting, and some kids' behaviors, we were in line at ToT last week, and the little boy behind me kept bumping into my backback, always a problem when I wear it. I moved spots with my husband so I wouldn't have to deal with the nudging anymore, and the little boy was nudging my husband and kicking my husband's feet, who then gave him "the look"- you know, the "please stop that look." When we turned one of the corners, the kid was behind me again, and into my backpack again, so I decided to twist in line so that perhaps my backpack would be at him, trying to invade his personal space as he was doing to me, and finally he tapped me and said "Can you stop doing that?" and my husband suggested he stop bumping into us and it wouldn't be a problem.
I know my wiggling may not have been the most adult thing to do, but this kid was off the wall, about 9 years old, with another kid and what appeared to be their moms. The parents never said anything, but I know if I ever did that as a kid my parents would have been livid that some one had to speak to me...AND I was always respectful of others' personal space...

 

[rt2dz]

I am sorry, I forgot you were a teacher. You must be right.

I should go be with my kids instead of reading your post about how to be a parent as I am sure you wrote the post while you were "creating laughter with your wonderful kids".

I have just finished reading the whole thread, and after the stroller thread in Disney Famalies, I vowed I would stay out of it, but now I feel the need.

Up until the above post, I saw what everyone else was saying, especially the OP, and thought they were just reading too much into YOUR (lomillerin) post actually. I figured you were saying, "hey, it's part of one incident, be careful before you pass judgement b/c more could be going on of the discipline matter than what is being seen". But that above, throws that theory out the window.

On another note, I always do get after my son. Consistentsy (sp). And I get told, by strangers too(!), that I'm being too hard him--he's too little. I don't spank, try not to yell (of course, when I've reached the end of my rope that goes occasionally), but I do impose consequences. I should mention my son is 4, looks 6. Telling him he can't stand up and scream in restruants or talk and jump around in the movie theater or he will have to leave is hardly being too hard on the boy. He's *usually* very well behaved, I receive complaments on my children's behavior all the time, but every child has his/her moments/days/weeks . Maybe some of these parents have guilt issues, truly aren't paying attention, or fear reprimand from other adults that cause that bad behavior--which is as unacceptable as the behavior itself.

 

[noopy]

Everybody's got a Laughing Place
A Laughing Place to go-ho-ho.
Take your frown
Turn it upside-down
And you'll find yours
We know-ho-ho!

 

[maxiesmom]

Lomillerin, I don't know why you are taking this so personal. The OP, and most of us, don't think that physical violence is acceptable at any time. She is not talking about kids who are wound up, she is taking about kids who are hurting each other! Why the sarcasm and personal attack? Please re-read the original post!

 

[drakethib]

For those of you that have ever wanted to say something to a parent of a misbehaving child, my DM finally did.
She was working in a candy kiosk at the mall. A little boy was banging on the glass. She asked the mother to stop him so he wouldn't break it (and possibly hurt himself). The mother actually told my DM that she worked full time and didn't spend that much time with him so she really felt guilty reprimanding him.
And my DM's witty comeback, with a sickening sweet smile - "Then don't you worry. The courts will take care of that for you in about 15 years."
DM didn't make a sale to that woman.

Sometimes no matter how much you try to hold your tongue the little devil just pops right out of your mouth.

Please high 5 your DM for me.

 

[Stacey2grls]

I have to say that I agree with Noopy. I am continually shocked by how horribly so many children behave, but the worst part is the parents seem to take it! I myself have two DD's 4 and 6, I am not saying by any stretch of the imagination that they are perfect, but I always receive compliments on their good behavior. I feel that you must look to the parents first. Children are just that, children. They will do what they get away with, if they do not know what is expected of them, how can they act well behaved? I myself am a Brownie troop leader so I often see parent/child interaction, and this is generally true, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The parents that never aknowledge my "hi, how are you" generally have the kids that have no manners. I know that this isn't always true, but unfortunately it generally is.

 

[luvmk]

I am sorry, I forgot you were a teacher. You must be right.

I should go be with my kids instead of reading your post about how to be a parent as I am sure you wrote the post while you were "creating laughter with your wonderful kids".

It's fine to disagree, but this seems out of line. I think the OP has been taken waaay to seriously. It was an observation, that's it. I don't think the OP ever pointed fingers at any poster in this thread.


Rachel

 

[Vivianne]

I have to say that I agree with Noopy. I am continually shocked by how horribly so many children behave, but the worst part is the parents seem to take it! I myself have two DD's 4 and 6, I am not saying by any stretch of the imagination that they are perfect, but I always receive compliments on their good behavior. I feel that you must look to the parents first. Children are just that, children. They will do what they get away with, if they do not know what is expected of them, how can they act well behaved? I myself am a Brownie troop leader so I often see parent/child interaction, and this is generally true, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The parents that never aknowledge my "hi, how are you" generally have the kids that have no manners. I know that this isn't always true, but unfortunately it generally is.

I agree. On our trip last year we had a good experience with a child who came to apologize for throwing a piece of paper at my DH during our meal in the Askerhus restaurant. It was a very minor incident we didn't think twice about it. But before the family left the child was standing at our table with her mother standing behind her apologizing with her sweet little face. Behind every good child is an attentive parent.