Behavior Challenge Thread

[PrincessMom4]

See I have video taped her during her meltdowns and shown it to our intake worker who talked to the psychologist. what are tips and suggestions do you have for us?? I have read a lot of books from Dr. Ross Greene (The Explosive child) to Family first (Dr. Phil) to Magic 1-2-3, etc. It may also help to know that she MAY have a brain injury as a result of an injury as a toddler at daycare. She has GREAT language skills and this resulted in part to her not having aspergers.

 

[PrincessMom4]

I forgot to add I am trying to teach her (whether or not she had a condition) coping skills like mediation or yoga when she gets frustrated. She also will be using an MP3 player with classical music and some relaxation technique at school so that she can focus and that the noise (of the class or background sounds-ie.if a fly buzzes she hears it when no one else does) doesn't bother her.

 

[bookwormde]

Internal focus activities like yoga, meditation and other eastern studies are great.

Complete language skills (excluding the social skills and TOM deficits ) are one of the “prerequisites” for Aspergers not an item that would in any way exclude it or make it a less likely diagnosis; otherwise HFA is the appropriate diagnosis. If anyone in the clinical group you are working with has indicated this, it is time to move on to a new group, which has a better level of competency.

First the neurologist or whoever is the “diagnosing clinician” is the one who needs to see the tapes not the intake person, also try to get a complete “event” from calm to melt down to back to calm and try to include other manifestation other than just the meltdowns.

While a potential brain injury might have an impact, from your description I would doubt this is the case.

bookwormde

 

[PrincessMom4]

Actually it was a psychologist who said it did not look/appear like it was aspergers or autism.

 

[bookwormde]

If the psychologist was the one the said that having standard or better verbal skills was in any way a disqualifier or negative indicator for Aspergers than he/she is grossly incompetent in that area of the Autism spectrum.

bookwormde

 

[DisDreaminMom]

I was thinking the same thing.

Churchlady, HUGS to you. (tight ones...)

 

[PrincessMom4]

They had my daughter in the office for a couple of hours doing some "test" (like math, language, etc) and they wanted to see where she scaled on the test. her math skills are a grade 2 level because of her poor working memory. The psychologist just wanted to see if she would score on the DSV-whatever the heck its called test....LOL... I have never filled out so many forms in my life and I worked in an office.

 

[bookwormde]

The testing that you describe is an IQ test that differentiates between different areas, verbal, spatial etc. If what you describe is all the evaluation they did then it was not anywhere near a standard or needed evaluation, which is multidisciplinary including psychologists, neurologists, audiologists, sensory specialists etc. I also include questioners (for everything form social skills to sensory issues to areas of special interest and so forth). from the home and the school environment. Many include a “play” session also.

What you describe is what happens when someone who does not specialize in and is not adequately educated in the autism spectrum attempts a diagnosis.

bookwormde

 

[mechurchlady]

If the psychologist was the one the said that having standard or better verbal skills was in any way a disqualifier or negative indicator for Aspergers than he/she is grossly incompetent in that area of the Autism spectrum.

bookwormde

I listen to the bookworm and learn. I agree with him on this point.

You need to self educate yourself on what is possible and what she does have. Doctors are not always up on new stuff or are pig headed fools who will only stick to what they believe is right. Almost everyone on this board personally or through family, friends and others have run into doctors who do not do the right thing or not enough. My aunt is in a nursing home and part of the problem was that her beloved family doctor allowed her diabetes to go unchecked for 5 to 10 years. It got so bad she almost lost her foot. My mother's doctor sees her 4 times a year and she is still coughing but she is fine. If I had lots of money I could find a doctor who would have a litany of things that my mom needs done and same for me.

hugs and chocoaltes
Laurie

 

[PrincessMom4]

Trust me I've had a lot done and been through several different agencies. We live in Canada so all our helath care is paid for. My daughter goes in next week for a cat scan with the neurologist. We are on a waiting list for an occupational therapist. We have many strategies in place for her without a "real" diagnosis. We have a specialized doctor that has her on some potent meds and he had her as ODD and ADHD as well.

 

[bookwormde]

Sounds like most of what you are doing for her is what would be done with a diagnosis so you are way ahead of the curve there. I do not know much about the Canadian system but they must have some regional centers, which are qualified to do an evaluation, the trick is always getting an appointment approved. When you sit with the neurologist to discuss the cat scan it would be a good time to see if he/she has any recommendations as to a highly qualified clinical team to do an proper evaluation.

bookwormde

 

[Tissa]

Oh why haven't I seen this thread before now!

My ds 11 is autistic and we have several of the same issues that others have only I have always felt so alone. I've always felt like his outbursts and violent behavior was something I was doing wrong, that I'm a failure as a parent.

Ds has terrible rages sometimes and it's getting hard for me to restrain him. He hits, kicks, and spits at me. Then when he is done he wants me to "pet" his arm(rub) then he calms down. He then wants a hug and says sorry.

We are just so frustrated with him right now. He loves to make loud noises and scream. His brother says he ruins everything. I think we are just worn down.

I should say I'm not his birth mother, I'm his aunt who took over raising him when he was 18 months and his brother (who has Cerebral Palsy)was 4. I'm raising them with the help of my mother. We are all we have.

 

[mechurchlady]

Lilo: Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind.

Your nephew just needs the right diagnosis, right help and lots of tedious studying by his family. It is long and hard work to deal with a person who has autism or any of the other myriad of brain quirks out there. Read through all the autism threads posted here and feel free ask questions and learn.

He makes the noises not because he is a brat but because something inside his brain is not wired right. He could love the sound he makes or may be stimming. You are not alone and I have a mother who is highly sensitive and boy is that a pain in the rump when you live with a deaf person who can still here when she wants to. I have meltdowns and my mother will not eat if she is having one of her meltdowns.

I send you a stitch plushie and a ton of hugs to a wonderful auntie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKdQMxy61bU&feature=related

Chin up and big hugs from me. A song to cheer you up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjWh2eD8Mgw

I am not very experienced in these things but when you need a hug stop by and get an armload of chocolates and hugs.

 

[bookwormde]

Tissa,

Lots of threads with thoughts and ideas on Austism spectrum children (and adults) in the community board so have fun digging back.

The more you can educate yourself about the Autism spectrum from current sources the easier it is. You are doing the best you can with the knowledge and supports you have available so do not feel that you are doing anything “wrong”. Comprehensive support is what is needed for our children, including environmental accommodations for sensory issues, non academic curriculum of social skills, TOM and EF skills education communication supports if that is an issue, self awareness about his neurovariation and to have anxiety levels managed to avoid co morbidities. Of course your love is his #1 need.

bookwormde

 

[Tissa]

Thanks Churchy, I recognize you from SGT although I'm just a lurker there.

Bookworme, thanks, you are full of wonderful information.

Ds is an autistic program in school called ABLE and he is not mainstreamed. It has helped a lot and I loved his elementary teacher but now he's in middle school and I'm still getting used to the new teacher. She works very will with him and does not take any crud from him so I think things will be fine.

Our biggest problem is doctor appointments. He has a very strong fear of anything medical. He will not even see the nurse at school. If I take him to the Dr he just starts screaming from the time we arrive until the time we leave and nothing really gets accomplished. It's so traumatic that I've avoided taking him back unless he is sick and he hasn't been in over a year.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Besides me needing to be sedated LOL.

 

[bookwormde]

This level of “trauma” usually has to do with a sensory event, shots are a likely culprit but it could be something else, see if you can find a way to “get out of him” why he needs to scream at the doctors (Playing detective is just part of being a spectrum parent).

bookwormde

 

[Tissa]

I think you are right with the trauma part. He was also born with cataracts and had to have two surgeries at 3 and 4 weeks old. Plus he has asthma as a baby/toddler and spent many a nights in the hospital. I was just hoping that by 11 it would get easier. Especially since he hasn't had a shot in a while. He does need blood work done though and I'm not sure how to deal with that.

He has started talking more this past year but I can never get anything out of him as to what or why. All I get is "I done, I done, scream, scream"

I've finally gotten him into a clinic that only deals with special needs kids but they have not called me back for an appointment. I need to get on the ball with them. He just came home from school in a good mood so that is a plus.

 

[mechurchlady]

You need to work on why he is freaking out at the thought of even a nurse coming near him. Talk to him and work with him on his fear. It can be anxiety, lack of control of surroundings, or suppressed bad memories. He has to get over this. Role playing also helps. Give him alternates for releasing that built up stress. Screaming is his way of letting it all out. So get him to use fidget toys or something to let out that built up frustration.

omg my past has found me, hide me.
Hey quit hiding at SGT as we need fresh people there to stir up the site.

 

[Minnie M6]

Wow, we have the same issue with DS 9 and Doctor visits, although not to the same extent. He does not have a diagnosis but we are having him evaluated as I strongly believe he has Asperger's, especially after reading Tony Attwood's book and posting here and receiving wonderful feedback.

He has a horrible fear of shots, and will kick the nurses and scream...it's awful. I now understand it better, but it's really tough when you're in the middle of it. What I wanted to tell you is, he had to have bloodwork and a kidney ultrasound done a few months ago (he has bladder issues but that's a whole other story). We had the most wonderful Nurse, who took the time to explain to him every step of the way what she was going to do and why. I couldn't believe my eyes when she talked him into the chair and he sat without being restrained while she took his blood. Mind you, it was after 20 minutes of talking, but she was patient the whole time (more patient that I felt). It was all about answering his questions and giving him facts. I don't know if that helps, but I wanted to throw it out there. Good luck with the new clinic.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Oh why haven't I seen this thread before now!

Welcome. We are relatively newbies at this "spectrum" thing. DS was diagnosed with Asperger's this past July. The folks on these boards are incredibly supportive and have a wealth of knowledge.

And for me it's been some great emotional support too. Even though each of our kids is different in his or her own way, I have found kindred spirits here. People that "get it". They don't judge me or go tsk, tsk, when my son has had a meltdown or even when I have had a melt down.

Instead I get some great suggestions, virtual hugs and virtual chocolates (though some of the real thing would be good, I wonder if I have some somewhere....)